I have alcoholics in my family and I still don't understand how this works. Like, I go for literally months between one alcoholic beverage and the next, because I have shit to do and I can't afford to be hungover at work.
If I'm out with people and I'm driving I have one beer or one glass of wine with a water back, hard stop. Even when I'm home over a holiday and I can drink myself into oblivion (which I do a couple times/year), if I drink too much I start getting physically ill.
How is *anybody* an alcoholic? I honestly don't get it. Just put the fucking bottle down
It is hard to explain to one who can easily control their impulses, such as yourself. For me, I can tell you that drinking was my coping mechanism for pretty much everything.
If I was happy? Drank.
If I was sad? Drank.
Argument with the wife/gf? Drank.
Bad day at work because boss was being a cunt? Drank.
Sports are on and need some refreshment? Drank.
But it became more than that. Once you use it to cope, you rely on it being there. You rely on the consistency of doing it. Once you're in a situation where there is no alcohol, you will literally stop whatever it is you're doing to find some and then continue whatever you're doing. It's like a toddler who carries their favorite stuffed animal or blanket with them. The minute that doll or blanket isn't there, they throw a temper tantrum until they get it. And if they don't get it, hell is going to break loose.
For me, my big reason to drink was the party vibe. I enjoyed being piss drunk at concerts, house parties, etc. because I thought that was having fun. I had tons of fun whilst drunk, but eventually that crept into my daily habits. Getting that inebriated became a once a month habit to twice a week. Then it became the entire weekend from when I got off work on Friday until Sunday morning to nurse my hangover. Then I had to have a few beers after work and a few glasses of whiskey after dinner. Eventually I would go to work hungover because that is what fueled me to keep going. My drinking became much worse after my grandfather passed away, because he was my drinking buddy and my best friend. I was going to work, at 7 AM, drunk and honestly thinking no one noticed. It wasn't until I was part of a mass layoff and contacted my boss after I was let go that they told me they could smell it on me and decided to say nothing. I wish they had, but I don't blame them for looking the other way. It wasn't until my mother found me in my parents' living room, blacked out on a recliner surrounded by a bunch of empty cans and a bottle in my hand that I realized I had a major problem.
I wish it was as simple as "just put the bottle down". My local sobriety group could attest that they wished it was that simple, too. But the deeper psychological pains that come with alcoholism are what most folks don't think about. As I said, my problem started with being a party boy and it spiraled out of control.
