Alcoholism Support Thread - Down the hatch

[Ass to Ass]

I'm sorry to hear that. How'd he make out?

Thank you.

Watched him die last year. No, I quite literally watched him die. Tumor was up against his heart and caused an arrythmia. Cardiac arrest got him. I tried CPR but there was nothing I or the paramedics could do. They used a LUCAS device on him (the kind of device that can bring back severe gunshot victims) and even that couldn't bring back a pulse.

 

[Ass to Ass]

This has been a genuine concern of mine given how much tobacco/nicotine I was consuming. Even though I switched to vapes long ago I can already tell my lungs were "under duress" given the amount. My entire breathing system has been going through recovery since I stopped and its obvious it impacts things.

I guess if you want to do nicotine the only "safe" way to do it is the Zyn pouch things, but vaping is really hardcore because of how addictive it is. Really not a good thing for people with addictive tendencies and what makes it worse than cigarettes is you don't even get "smoker's cough" as much - you can sit vaping 24/7 and it won't sound like it is impacting you.

Beside all of that there are numerous studies about the anxiety impacts of nicotine so for people who "smoke to calm their nerves" and then end up "drinking to calm their nerves" there might be a lot of explanation with the consumption of nicotine. It is a highly, highly potent central nervous stimulant (CNS) much like Ritalin or Adderall and if you're sitting around vaping 24/7 or smoking a carton of cigarettes a day then it can really push you into extreme anxiety mode where alcohol ends up relieving it (of course: no one starts alcohol or nicotine with this stuff in mind)

For people who smoke or vape constantly your entire nervous system is basically being flooded with a less hardcore version of cocaine all day long. It has a huge impact on you whether you want to believe it or not. And once you smoke enough you don't actually "feel" anything anymore, its just a blur but it still impacts you.

My grandma and dad were lifelong smokers and they got lung cancer. My mom was a lifelong smoker too, but her thing was spiralling into heavy tobacco and alcohol use after my grandma died and my dad was diagnosed. She ended up dying of a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Been a rough few years, I'll say.

 

[whatsreelanymore]

try kratom, it gives the same effects sort of but way less poisonous.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

try kratom, it gives the same effects sort of but way less poisonous.

Kratom is addictive snake oil.

 

[whatsreelanymore]

Kratom is addictive snake oil.

I heard that too, but I also heard junkies and alcoholics, taking it since they say it gives the similar high but way less side effects. Or you drag though it with will power and discipline. read that the new fat loss drug starting with o, also calms down drinking cravings.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

I heard that too, but I also heard junkies and alcoholics, taking it since they say it gives the similar high but way less side effects. Or you drag though it with will power and discipline. read that the new fat loss drug starting with o, also calms down drinking cravings.

If you have issues with cravings, Naltrexone helps a lot and is rated for it. No need to use off-label drugs or shit you buy off Amazon. If you're substituting one kick for another, well... that will lead to a predictable place.

 

[trent]

Kratom is addictive snake oil.

All I remember about Kratom was people on Something Awful getting obsessed with it and trying to figure out how to make it palatable because it tastes like shit.

It ended up with a bunch of them getting constipated to the point of needing medical treatment and a few of them moved on to doing harder drugs because they wanted a stronger high than what the Kratom was giving them.

Standard occurrence for "harmless" substances.

 

[Jerk Sausage]

How about I'm taking none of it. Anything that makes me feel different is no good for me, because I then want to feel more different.

 

[neger psykolog]

Kratom is addictive snake oil.

I've heard all sorts of bad things about it.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

How about I'm taking none of it. Anything that makes me feel different is no good for me, because I then want to feel more different.

Yeah, pretty much.

 

[Jarl Varg]

Delta 9 has really helped me. I have a gummy(Tyson Mike Bites) with 10mg Delta 9, 10mg CBD. Helps to relax, and sleep. If I get a drinking urge, I hit a Delta 9 vape pen. Get really high, and want to eat/sleep. Better than pounding alcohol. Down to about 1-6 pack a week, after I've been productive, and don't have to work the next day.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Hey walkie-kiwis,

I'm not doing so great right now. I was meant to take my three year old son to the park earlier today, and I ended up taking him to the pub. Buying him fruit shoots and crisps while I have a pint.

My missus picked us up in the car but I had an argument with her over dinner and stormed off in a "daddy is going out for cigarettes" type of way. I'm now, of course, in the pub. And I must look like shit, since the bar girl's asked me twice "Are you OK?", "Are you sure you're OK?".

What the fuck am I doing? This isn't rock bottom yet, but I can literally feel myself spiralling down with a shredded parachute. It's a Sunday night and I'm getting belted by myself. I need help.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Hey walkie-kiwis,

I'm not doing so great right now. I was meant to take my three year old son to the park earlier today, and I ended up taking him to the pub. Buying him fruit shoots and crisps while I have a pint.

My missus picked us up in the car but I had an argument with her over dinner and stormed off in a "daddy is going out for cigarettes" type of way. I'm now, of course, in the pub. And I must look like shit, since the bar girl's asked me twice "Are you OK?", "Are you sure you're OK?".

What the fuck am I doing? This isn't rock bottom yet, but I can literally feel myself spiralling down with a shredded parachute. It's a Sunday night and I'm getting belted by myself. I need help.

Everyone's bottom is different but you should feel fortunate that you realize not only that you fucked up, but also that you need some help with your boozing

I always encourage going to AA because it's free and provides ample social support, but there is more than one way to skin a cat. Naltrexone can help with alcohol cravings and your doctor can prescribe it. Find friends who don't drink and re-learn how to unwind and have fun without drinking (that's where AA is helpful). Try not to wallow in shame too much because that can be fuel for more drinking or simply giving up.

I'd suggest apologizing to your wife, no "buts" or justifications. Admit you were wrong and state you want to change so you aren't taking your 3-year-old to the pub on a Sunday. There are lots of clichés in recovery like "one day at a time" and "take it easy" which are true because it's easier to make big changes in small bites. Lots of guys drink too much and get better, so it's not impossible. It just takes some work.

I used to get wasted every day and did that for years, but now I'm sober and all the better for it. Lots of guys in this thread have gotten sober, so you can do it, too.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Everyone's bottom is different but you should feel fortunate that you realize not only that you fucked up, but also that you need some help with your boozing

I always encourage going to AA because it's free and provides ample social support, but there is more than one way to skin a cat. Naltrexone can help with alcohol cravings and your doctor can prescribe it. Find friends who don't drink and re-learn how to unwind and have fun without drinking (that's where AA is helpful). Try not to wallow in shame too much because that can be fuel for more drinking or simply giving up.

I'd suggest apologizing to your wife, no "buts" or justifications. Admit you were wrong and state you want to change so you aren't taking your 3-year-old to the pub on a Sunday. There are lots of clichés in recovery like "one day at a time" and "take it easy" which are true because it's easier to make big changes in small bites. Lots of guys drink too much and get better, so it's not impossible. It just takes some work.

I used to get wasted every day and did that for years, but now I'm sober and all the better for it. Lots of guys in this thread have gotten sober, so you can do it, too.

Thanks so much for this message. I just needed someone right now. And it's not like I have no one to reach out to: literally last night my wife was holding my hand saying why are you looking so sad, what's wrong? Literally over and over, and I just... couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything to her.

Shit man, your gonna make me cry in the pub. Fuck off. But also thanks.

Edit:

Bar girl just asked me "what brings you to the pub?". I can only imagine what shit I look like right now. I've literally never heard this type of chat from bar staff, it's so weird.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Thanks so much for this message. I just needed someone right now. And it's not like I have no one to reach out to: literally last night my wife was holding my hand saying why are you looking so sad, what's wrong? Literally over and over, and I just... couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything to her.

Shit man, your gonna make me cry in the pub. Fuck off. But also thanks.

Try being open to your wife. What's she gonna do? Make fun of you? If she does, then that's her issue and not yours. AA groups are nice because you can cry in front of complete strangers who are honor-bound not to blab about it, and they'll just give you a hug and tell you it'll be all right, but it's your choice how to deal with it. Just know you're not alone, lots of guys feel the way you do, and there's no shame in admitting you have a problem and getting help. There's a lot of shame in carrying on and getting worse, though.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Try being open to your wife. What's she gonna do? Make fun of you? If she does, then that's her issue and not yours. AA groups are nice because you can cry in front of complete strangers who are honor-bound not to blab about it, and they'll just give you a hug and tell you it'll be all right, but it's your choice how to deal with it. Just know you're not alone, lots of guys feel the way you do, and there's no shame in admitting you have a problem and getting help. There's a lot of shame in carrying on and getting worse, though.

She knows. She's not stupid. I don't know if she's in denial, or thinks there's not a problem until I say something. I've still got my job, the bills get paid. Maybe she figures I've got it under control.

But I don't. I know I don't. I travel for work, stay over in a hotel. I'm getting wasted on the train journey and in the hotel. A bottle of wine, and if it's not finished, drinking it in the morning. That was the turning point for me. What the fuck am I doing? Buying a pack of mints to mask the smell? As if everyone at work can't see what's going on? It's pathetic. And getting lazy. Putting off work that needs to get done on the Friday until the Monday. Letting deadlines slip a whole week.

How can I tell her any of that? What a joke I've become. The fucking shame of it all.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

She knows. She's not stupid. I don't know if she's in denial, or thinks there's not a problem until I say something. I've still got my job, the bills get paid. Maybe she figures I've got it under control.

But I don't. I know I don't. I travel for work, stay over in a hotel. I'm getting wasted on the train journey and in the hotel. A bottle of wine, and if it's not finished, drinking it in the morning. That was the turning point for me. What the fuck am I doing? Buying a pack of mints to mask the smell? As if everyone at work can't see what's going on? It's pathetic. And getting lazy. Putting off work that needs to get done on the Friday until the Monday. Letting deadlines slip a whole week.

How can I tell her any of that? What a joke I've become. The fucking shame of it all.

Then I'd suggest keep posting here, or try a meeting. You can find AA meetings literally anywhere and you will find shitloads of people there who understand everything that you are going through and feeling. Don't beat yourself up too much because, like I said above, that can fuel more drinking. There are meetings, there are doctors who can help you, and there is hope. If a retard like me can literally almost drink himself to death and then recover, then so can anyone.

If you get withdrawals from not drinking (shakes, sweats, fast heartbeat, anxiety) after a few hours and it gets worse the further away from a drink you are, then you should consider going to an emergency room and having a medical detox. Alcohol withdrawals are potentially fatal and are considered a medical emergency. If you just drink too much, then it's a matter of changing your habits and trying to figure out why you drink like that in the first place. What you do if you need a detox is take time off from work, go to the detox, and try to do a classic 90 in 90: go to 90 AA meetings in 90 days.

There are also intensive outpatient programs available in most developed countries and you can discuss options with your doctor if that is more your style. I am more pro-AA than a lot of people so don't feel like you're pressured to do that. A lot of people don't jive with 12-step meetings, or start their recovery there and then find something else that works for them.

I personally did not stop drinking excessively until I went to a detox (which I needed because I get serious withdrawals) and then started going to meetings. I cannot stress it enough that there is hope.

 

[Clem Fandango]

then you should consider going to an emergency room and having a medical detox

I mean, that's not going to happen. I'm in the UK, if I'm out even on a Sunday night I don't bat an eyelid.

But something has to change. I can't go on like this.

 

[dick brain]

I'm in the UK

My condolences.

 

[neger psykolog]

She knows. She's not stupid. I don't know if she's in denial, or thinks there's not a problem until I say something. I've still got my job, the bills get paid. Maybe she figures I've got it under control.

But I don't. I know I don't. I travel for work, stay over in a hotel. I'm getting wasted on the train journey and in the hotel. A bottle of wine, and if it's not finished, drinking it in the morning. That was the turning point for me. What the fuck am I doing? Buying a pack of mints to mask the smell? As if everyone at work can't see what's going on? It's pathetic. And getting lazy. Putting off work that needs to get done on the Friday until the Monday. Letting deadlines slip a whole week.

How can I tell her any of that? What a joke I've become. The fucking shame of it all.

I mean, that's not going to happen. I'm in the UK, if I'm out even on a Sunday night I don't bat an eyelid.

But something has to change. I can't go on like this.

My advice would be to start small by just tracking how much you drink and what days you drink vs don't. Unless you know how much you're actually drinking and how often you're drinking it makes it hard to set a goal for yourself or even keep a personal system of accountability.

Start a spreadsheet for the shit and just write sober or not sober, and also better to also measure how much you drink when you're not sober. The importance of writing sober/not sober is purely rooted in the fact that even if you have half a beer, it still counts as a non-sober day (to give some context here: imagine you were someone who overworked, you'd want to count any day where you took even a single work call as a work day and not as a non-working day -- the point of this isn't to beat yourself up but rather to figure yourself/your schedule out in the first place if you haven't already).

It may sound stupid but until you actually see how much you're drinking over time it makes it really difficult to work towards improving it - it is all too easy for people to act like things are hopeless and that various treatments can't be done because of [insert legitimate reasons or what may be excuses here = I don't know your personal situation so cannot judge].

But the minimal effort thing you can do is start to measure things in a very simple spreadsheet. Without doing that as a first step it makes it tremendously difficult to motivate yourself or even understand how much you're drinking. It's also something that's only accountable to you because you'll be the one updating it every day.