Trainwreck Alex Dacy / Alex Dzimtowicz / Wheelchair Rapunzel - 50% wholesome disability influencer, 50% that cash me outside girl

Alex shouldn't have put herself in the position she's in - I 100% agree with that and have said so previously. She doesn't have the luxury of doing motherhood this way and expecting it to go well because of her condition. She is immature and did something stupid that may create many, many problems for herself and others. That doesn't mean I could justify taking her autonomy away in my own mind. If she were to decide one baby attempt is enough and that her body isn't meant for carrying children, and I think she should consider this, then her looking into options to prevent that going forward would be ideal.

I'm overly sensitive on this particular topic, and I admit that. Part of it comes from knowing some awesome disabled parents, ones who have supportive partners and made long-term plans ahead of time. Alex is not that sort of person and has already started the process without forethought. So far, she's not showing signs of becoming responsible, but maybe she'll get there? I hope she proves everyone wrong; I'd love to see a happy outcome against the odds.

The other part is that this is personal. I had been diagnosed with a serious mental illness and went to my gyno, not to discuss that - Because why would I? - but to talk about my heavy periods. She had spoken with my psych team beforehand and suggested endometrial ablation, burning away my uterus lining. It's used to lessen monthly bleeding but is only suitable for someone who never intends to become pregnant. She said I'd have to be sterilized as well. Or, I could have a hysterectomy. No other options were offered, no tests were done, just these two procedures or nothing. I was 25 and in a relationship, in psych treatment, educated, and financially stable.
Her exact words were "You shouldn't be getting pregnant, so this will solve both problems". I refused, not because I wanted to have a baby at that time, and I haven't had any since because I do understand I'm not a suitable candidate for motherhood for various reasons, but because I wanted to keep my organs intact and that's not someone else's choice to make for me. Right or wrong, this experience makes me uneasy whenever I hear talk about taking away another woman's choice.
There's a big difference between saying "Alex should have gotten herself sterilised and it is fundamentally a bad thing she didn't" and "Alex should have been sterilised against her will".

In fact it's not even really "Alex should have gotten herself sterilised" it's just "Alex shouldn't have gotten pregnant and chosen to keep the baby". There's many reasons why a woman who doesn't want to risk pregnancy would still not get sterilised - a full blown hysterectomy or oophrectomy can have a raft of medical complications and require additional medications to manage. But it's not like she was on birth control that failed - at best she wasn't taking precautions and at worst she was actively trying for a baby.

It's her right and her choice, but her decision to exercise that right was a terrible one. She made the wrong choice. It's a very likely outcome that she could die or massively damage herself because of her condition, and it's likely that the baby will have issues because she stayed on contraindicated medications and is going to have to deliver the baby premature.

Even if everything goes well, she physically can't care for the baby. If - God forbid - everything goes wrong and she dies in childbirth and the baby is a brain dead vegetable - what was the point of all this? Even if the baby were fine or mildly impacted, Noah's not going to stick around in that scenario (or at best will neglect the child while using it for attention).

This is a sad one because her "I can do anything an able bodied person can! I don't have to be viewed as a perpetual child or fragile doll!" schtick is an understandable rage against the cage her body is. But she should not be having a baby. It is selfish and cruel for her to do this to that child. Her need for self validation and her rights do not outweigh the rights that child had.

I hope she has a healthy pregnancy and gives birth to a healthy happy child and her and Noah manage to figure something out and raise that child in a loving supportive home and thar child grows up and blossoms. But that is not what is going to happen.

Tophats to the left.
 
There's a big difference between saying "Alex should have gotten herself sterilised and it is fundamentally a bad thing she didn't" and "Alex should have been sterilised against her will".

In fact it's not even really "Alex should have gotten herself sterilised" it's just "Alex shouldn't have gotten pregnant and chosen to keep the baby". There's many reasons why a woman who doesn't want to risk pregnancy would still not get sterilised - a full blown hysterectomy or oophrectomy can have a raft of medical complications and require additional medications to manage. But it's not like she was on birth control that failed - at best she wasn't taking precautions and at worst she was actively trying for a baby.

It's her right and her choice, but her decision to exercise that right was a terrible one. She made the wrong choice. It's a very likely outcome that she could die or massively damage herself because of her condition, and it's likely that the baby will have issues because she stayed on contraindicated medications and is going to have to deliver the baby premature.

Even if everything goes well, she physically can't care for the baby. If - God forbid - everything goes wrong and she dies in childbirth and the baby is a brain dead vegetable - what was the point of all this? Even if the baby were fine or mildly impacted, Noah's not going to stick around in that scenario (or at best will neglect the child while using it for attention).

This is a sad one because her "I can do anything an able bodied person can! I don't have to be viewed as a perpetual child or fragile doll!" schtick is an understandable rage against the cage her body is. But she should not be having a baby. It is selfish and cruel for her to do this to that child. Her need for self validation and her rights do not outweigh the rights that child had.

I hope she has a healthy pregnancy and gives birth to a healthy happy child and her and Noah manage to figure something out and raise that child in a loving supportive home and thar child grows up and blossoms. But that is not what is going to happen.

Tophats to the left.
Legitimately though.
PL. but whatever. I got a call today that my kindy kiddo may have had a seizure at school (he just passed out and tests are good) but between that call and me getting to the school, I ran full speed and got there as the ambulance was unloading to get to his classroom. It’s times like this that I feel her decision to have a kid was hopes and wishes because she is not at all capable of quick reaction times, or even holding the baby. I think the baby will be raised by many other people once she realizes she just physically can’t. It makes me a little sad.
 
Legitimately though.
PL. but whatever. I got a call today that my kindy kiddo may have had a seizure at school (he just passed out and tests are good) but between that call and me getting to the school, I ran full speed and got there as the ambulance was unloading to get to his classroom. It’s times like this that I feel her decision to have a kid was hopes and wishes because she is not at all capable of quick reaction times, or even holding the baby. I think the baby will be raised by many other people once she realizes she just physically can’t. It makes me a little sad.

First, holy crap. Scary af.

Second….this brings up a good point. Kids are germy, it’s a fact. When they start school, they come home with every bug under the sun. What is someone with 30 percent lung function gonna do when their baby/kid comes home with sinusitis, bronchitis, rsv, or other common bugs? Like, what is her actual plan? Bet she doesn’t have one.
 
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First, holy crap. Scary af.

Second….this brings up a good point. Kids are germy, it’s a fact. When they start school, they come home with every bug under the sun. What is someone with 30 percent lung function gonna do when their baby/kid comes home with sinusitis, bronchitis, rsv, or other common bugs? Like, what is her actual plan? Bet sue doesn’t have one.
It was hella traumatic. All tests were good, he’s back to his goofy self. Can’t wait for the ambulance bill.
Kids are especially grimey this year. It usually is a few bugs here and there but post Covid general ick is mean this season. I am fighting a battle and the tiny humans are almost winning.
 
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First, holy crap. Scary af.

Second….this brings up a good point. Kids are germy, it’s a fact. When they start school, they come home with every bug under the sun. What is someone with 30 percent lung function gonna do when their baby/kid comes home with sinusitis, bronchitis, rsv, or other common bugs? Like, what is her actual plan? Bet she doesn’t have one.
This is another big reason why she shouldn't have kids. Children are germ factories. In fact, you want them to eat dirt and get sick because that's how they build a functional immune system. Can you imagine being told, "Yeah, your mum's dead 'cause you got a cold at daycare and gave it to her. Lol YOLO!"

What a horrible, horrible thing.
 
her "I can do anything an able bodied person can! I don't have to be viewed as a perpetual child or fragile doll!" schtick is an understandable rage against the cage her body is.
this absolutely gets to the core of her while online (and offline I guess) persona.

a weak analogy I'm familiar with is when kids with type 1 diabetes go into adolescence and have a few rounds of DKA because they hate being different to their peers and just want to fit in. Alex almost certainly has some delayed adolescence she's trying to make up for, trying to live like a fun 19 year old after being told her whole life she might be dead before then. like going on a bit of a wild Rumspringa to get it out of your system.
unfortunately the result of this is a poor kid that didn't ask to be involved in any of this.
 
Legitimately though.
PL. but whatever. I got a call today that my kindy kiddo may have had a seizure at school (he just passed out and tests are good) but between that call and me getting to the school, I ran full speed and got there as the ambulance was unloading to get to his classroom. It’s times like this that I feel her decision to have a kid was hopes and wishes because she is not at all capable of quick reaction times, or even holding the baby. I think the baby will be raised by many other people once she realizes she just physically can’t. It makes me a little sad.
No - that is her plan. It's not an "if," a "maybe," or a "just in case." Her plan is that others will be on point for issues, be there for emergencies, raise and take care of the baby.
 
No - that is her plan. It's not an "if," a "maybe," or a "just in case." Her plan is that others will be on point for issues, be there for emergencies, raise and take care of the baby.
I'll be surprised if she's even able to breastfeed. She can't physically hold the baby in place, and if she tries anyway, the simple weight of the bub on her ribcage may make it hard for her to breathe. Then there's all the medications she's taking, at least some of them would not be suitable for a lactating mother. There are many, many women who can't breastfeed their infants for a variety of reasons and despite their best efforts, but having a child and knowing ahead of time you're not going to be able to change a nappy or offer your breast, let alone anything else, is awful.

I have sensory issues, particularly to certain frequencies of sound. When my youngest niece was handed to me, a week or two after she was born, she started to cry. You know that distinctive, piercing wail of a newborn? I couldn't hold her because the noise was so painful and unbearable. I handed her back and went and hid in the spare room and cried in shame and distress, because I could not hold and soothe my own infant niece. It was one of the worst moments of my entire life. Imagine not being able to pick up and hold your own child, ever.
 
It was hella traumatic. All tests were good, he’s back to his goofy self. Can’t wait for the ambulance bill.
Kids are especially grimey this year. It usually is a few bugs here and there but post Covid general ick is mean this season. I am fighting a battle and the tiny humans are almost winning.
Glad your kiddo is ok!!!! That sounds like quite a scare.

That brings up another point, not only will she never be able to assist with an immediate emergency, she will never be able to be alone with her child until she’s old enough to do things herself. I’ve got two toddlers, they’re both pretty much mobile but definitely need to be picked up for things daily. She can’t do that.

Her getting pregnant was completely selfish.
 
I'll be surprised if she's even able to breastfeed. She can't physically hold the baby in place, and if she tries anyway, the simple weight of the bub on her ribcage may make it hard for her to breathe. Then there's all the medications she's taking, at least some of them would not be suitable for a lactating mother. There are many, many women who can't breastfeed their infants for a variety of reasons and despite their best efforts, but having a child and knowing ahead of time you're not going to be able to change a nappy or offer your breast, let alone anything else, is awful.

I have sensory issues, particularly to certain frequencies of sound. When my youngest niece was handed to me, a week or two after she was born, she started to cry. You know that distinctive, piercing wail of a newborn? I couldn't hold her because the noise was so painful and unbearable. I handed her back and went and hid in the spare room and cried in shame and distress, because I could not hold and soothe my own infant niece. It was one of the worst moments of my entire life. Imagine not being able to pick up and hold your own child, ever.
She may not care.

And I don't think "knowing ahead of time you're not going to be able to...offer your breast" is or should be awful or even a big deal (I hope women who cannot don't feel shame or whatever for that alone). Alex's issues with parenting go far, far beyond not being able to nurse. She needs 24/7 care just to live. Her kid will be an amusement and observation to her, at best. Yep, more to raising a kid than physical management, but the absence of physical management is a bfd.

(On your sensory issues - I don't have anything other than a keen eye, ridiculous nose, good palate, and afaik average hearing - but my second kid (the easy one) had a frequency to the cry/yell as a baby that went straight to the center of my brain. To this day (18+ years), I still have a physiological and confusing reaction when a random kid I hear lands on that same frequency (on top of the typical snap-to reaction whenever I hear any baby/child/teen voice saying "mom" or similar). My kid's in college and my life is pretty smooth now, but that specific sound can still induce some latent anxiety and a related physical reaction. Funny bc that was and is my less complicated one, but something about the particular sound /frequency from decades ago just jars me still.
 
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Some more detail on Noah's criminal history from Reddit. No offences we didn't know about but some detail.
The person he beat up was his own father. He had to pay $500 and was ordered to stay away from the victim. Not sure if that was by a restraining order.
Noah crashed into someone while driving a car belonging to a 3rd party called Darrell Smith (relative or possibly father's name?). This left him liable for 30k costs which his father ended up on the hook for.

What a great guy. I guess the Smith grandparents won't be on hand for childcare then.

ETA: oh for fucks sake there's no way this could go wrong. And there was me saying she's starting to process the reality of the situation.

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ETA: oor fucks sake there's no way this could go wrong. And there was me saying she's starting to process the reality of the situation.

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I'm just going to change my rating to 'horrifying'. Given it's America, I could understand if she'd sign up for such a thing if she had medical bills to pay, but I can't recall her saying anything about that. Instead she's treating a hideously complicated procedure that's life threatening to both herself and her child, like she's getting a primetime interview on an internationally syndicated talk show. It's all about attention, her, her, her. Total strangers are going to watch the most intimate and vulnerable experience of her entire existence and she thinks it's something to boast about.

If she survives delivery, and manages to keep her baby daddy, I anticipate a 'life affirming' sex tape within six months of the bub's birth. Everyone will be wrapped up in the baby, she'll be desperate for some of that sweet, sweet attention.
 
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Some more detail on Noah's criminal history from Reddit. No offences we didn't know about but some detail.
The person he beat up was his own father. He had to pay $500 and was ordered to stay away from the victim. Not sure if that was by a restraining order.
Noah crashed into someone while driving a car belonging to a 3rd party called Darrell Smith (relative or possibly father's name?). This left him liable for 30k costs which his father ended up on the hook for.

What a great guy. I guess the Smith grandparents won't be on hand for childcare then.

ETA: oh for fucks sake there's no way this could go wrong. And there was me saying she's starting to process the reality of the situation.

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Oh, ffs. Not watching that.

But oh, Noah. Did not realize he was so young. Impressive legal history so young. I'm sure it will get even better with time. Also did not realize it was all so recent. One year ago. Excellent choice, Alex, truly smart. Actually, not sure which of the two of them is dumber for all of this.

(And wow he's only 5'9" 140? He looks much chunkier than that.)
 
I imagine the medical staff will be mighty pissed about the filming.

PL: A camera crew once came to the operating theatres I worked in, filming some shitty documentary. They were in the way, tripping over shit, and generally a pain in the ass. We were vexed as hell.

This birth is miles away from a 'normal' C-section, which carries its own risk of complications.
The last thing the surgeons and anaesthetists need is randoms in theatre filming them as they try desperately to keep this idiot and her poor baby alive.

Good fucking grief. She has given this zero thought whatsoever.
Wait, of course she has. The almighty dollar, and social media fame.
Damn I'm MATI.
 
No - that is her plan. It's not an "if," a "maybe," or a "just in case." Her plan is that others will be on point for issues, be there for emergencies, raise and take care of the baby.
It’s so fucked up man. I just hope for the best I guess. I can’t wrap my brain around someone like her saying “fuck it let’s have a kid!” It’s such a disservice to everyone that already has to wait on her every need. She doesn’t give a shit tho. Just the goal of schilling more money and being an “influencer“ she does make me MATI with This choice.
 
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