Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

@Tiny Clanger and @bev : If you have time to even put together a few sentences to sum up these points, I think you'd be well on your way. There are other points a person could make, but I think this hits most of the highlights/FAQs/"I don't get that reference" type comments. Each part doesn't need, like, a dissertation, but just a line or two (maybe with links?) would just about do it, I think.

(Or not, what do I know. I'm sure you gorls got this. Just tryin' to contribute.)

1. Early Years
   1. Brief overview; receipts where applicable
2. Casey Era
   1. Overview
   2. Aunt Tammy's comments on why she left Oklahoma and her great schooling ambitions
   3. Link to Rain and Petals Eavesdrop
3. Krystle Era
   1. 89 Elbees
   2. Menu Examples: The Death of the Tastebuds
   3. The Dawn of the Poor Animal Treatment and Excuses for Fatness
   4. Early signs of serious hoarding
   5. Rain and Petals Eavesdrop (or was that Destiny Era?)
4. Destiny Era
   1. Moving to Florida
   2. Working? Are we working?
   3. More Aunt Tammy commentary
   4. The start of the love affair with scootypuffs
   5. Increase in hoarding, excuses, reckless spending, weight gain, and "questionable" animal treatment
   6. YouTubing fulltime (aka bitch got fired)
   7. Move to Kentucky (plenty of material here)
   8. Dana. DANA. DAAAAANNNNAAAAAAAA!!!!
   9. The Breakup
   10. The Dawn of Becky
5. Becky Era
   1. The Meeting, the Moving, and the Quitting of the Job
   2. Hannah & Rafe
   3. Eric & Ricky
   4. Bit-Players (Sharla, etc.)
   5. The Rise of the Haydurs
      1. Toxic Shock Lake
      2. Scootypuffin' 4 Lyfe
      3. Other timeless references
   6. The Cycle is Real
   7. The Big 5-0-0
   8. Doctors, nutritionists, and surgeons, oh my!
   9. WW, Optavia, Shrimpgate, etc.
   10. The Bigger 6-0-0
   11. Shameless lahs -- not even trying anymore

 

[Twinkie]

Rain and Petals Eavesdrop didn't happen until the Destiny era, though. It didn't actually happen, so it shouldn't be listed in the Kasey era.

See, one issue with doing something like this is that people are going to disagree on details like this and it's going to kind of be a mess. The lolcow wiki is good for this reason but I guess no one cares enough to really fill it out and tighten it up.

Also, we used to have four stickies here (the fourth was the Health Speculation one) and people got mad because that's too many stickies apparently. So don't count on an FAQ being made a sticky, at least not without a fight. I think a better idea would be to work on an outline as shown above, and then have a mod edit it into the first post of this thread.

Allllllso (sorry for so many edits, I'm annoying) if it's just an FAQ it doesn't need to be a thread, because if you think about it there doesn't need to be any discussion of an FAQ. The discussion could just go... here, in General.

 

[ADHD]

YouTubing fulltime (aka bitch got fired)

Receipts from Amber getting fired are here.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

Rain and Petals Eavesdrop didn't happen until the Destiny era, though. It didn't actually happen, so it shouldn't be listed in the Kasey era.

See, one issue with doing something like this is that people are going to disagree on details like this and it's going to kind of be a mess. The lolcow wiki is good for this reason but I guess no one cares enough to really fill it out and tighten it up.

Yeah, my bad.


I was thinking, though, that the actual events should go in chronological order so people reading along can get the authentic experience. They can be linked up, though...

I'm trying to keep my autism in line and NOT do the wiki thing because I have some shred of self-respect left, but I agree it might be the best way to do it... dammit...

 

[RainbowStarlight]

Shit like this pisses me off. You are practically almost dead. You cannot afford to prance around the idea of "oh if it's not fun I dont want it." You. Have. To. Change. Yesterday. Starting small isn't going to work for you. You do not have the time like someone who needs to only lose 50lbs or even 100lbs does.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

@Tiny Clanger

Loads of really useful stuff

Fan-fucking-tastic, thank you for this. I've already hit @xenomorph up for extras on the really early stuff and she's not allowed to say no, so we'll have it all ready and shiny in a few days.

I was thinking about adding in thread moments of glory too - there are some special kiwi moments, like when we found her writing and could barely write a sentence between us for howling with laughter, or posts/series that have become legendary (Sneasel's "sex with fat girls" or Testacles' "fat" posts) and get referenced back because they are part of the lore.

Anyhoo, I'll play around with it, see what works. And if any new kiwis want to chip in and tell us what seems particularly daunting - we all know most of us catch up during our morning ablutions and nobody can stretch that out to 1300 pages - that'd be great. Unless it's another kiwi that's particularly daunting in which case, see "shit outta luck" in my previous.

PS. Yadda yadda from above. I'll make it, then we can all squabble about the shi t I got wrong, then you can all decide what you want to do with it. Can chuck it in the wiki, just leave it as "see page x" or a.n.other to be decided. @SAVE TWINKIE! sound like a plan?

 

[Twinkie]

Yeah, my bad.


I was thinking, though, that the actual events should go in chronological order so people reading along can get the authentic experience. They can be linked up, though...

I'm trying to keep my autism in line and NOT do the wiki thing because I have some shred of self-respect left, but I agree it might be the best way to do it... dammit...

No your idea is good gorl, what I meant about the wiki (I didn't word it the best) is that with wiki format, the talk page is behind the scenes where autists can edit, argue and reach consensus without the content itself looking a mess and without a hundred people piling on and confusing things like what can happen in a public thread. I'm probably overthinking it anyway.

Whatever you end up doing, I still think the end result should be pasted into the first post of this thread and not made into its own thread [edit: STICKIED thread, to clarify]. Amberlynn does have her own wiki page AND a general discussion thread, it doesn't really make sense to have yet another stickied thread just for an FAQ, but that's just my two cents.

And FWIW, there was someone here a while ago who was working on something that was supposed to be edited into the first post to sort of be the same thing you just posted, an outline of sorts. But they disppeared soooo

She a laaah.

If she enjoys doing walking so much, how is doing it more than once a day suddenly going to make her not enjoy it? Bullshit.

And she's allegedly been doing this since, what, April? I mean technically she's done this micro-workout walking bullshit for years, but she's been sorta-kinda sticking with it since about April, accordign to her. That's more than 5 months. And she still hasn't even reached five continuous minutes of walking once a day. In five months!

And here she is, defiantly refusing to add a few more tiny sessions per day. Such a farce. She doesn't want to change.

 

[DelicateMageflower]

View attachment 920618
Shit like this pisses me off. You are practically almost dead. You cannot afford to prance around the idea of "oh if it's not fun I dont want it." You. Have. To. Change. Yesterday. Starting small isn't going to work for you. You do not have the time like someone who needs to only lose 50lbs or even 100lbs does.

Seriously? Standing and marching in place for MAYBE 12-15 minutes a day total is a chore? Just when I thought she couldn't be lazier. wow

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

Seriously? Standing and marching in place for MAYBE 12-15 minutes a day total is a chore? Just when I thought she couldn't be lazier. wow

I mean... it is a chore. It's not something you necessarily WANT to do but something you do anyway because it's what healthy humans do. It's a chore in the same way cooking proper food, washing your hair, cleaning out litter boxes, doing your laundry, or washing your face is technically a chore.

Oh. Right.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

@SAVE TWINKIE! see my PS above, Twinks.

I'll do an outline, try and get in as much of what people want as poss (or tell them where to go look) then it's up to everyone else where it goes. We could chuck it in the wiki, add it to the OP or another already stickie'd post, leave it on p.1239, whatever. I don't care where it ends up, it'll just be a fun thing to attempt to do.

 

[Blathersnake]

Bitch please. Hurricane Dorian has moved more in the past 24 hours than you have in a week.

 

[ADHD]

She a laaah.

If she enjoys doing walking so much, how is doing it more than once a day suddenly going to make her not enjoy it? Bullshit.

And she's allegedly been doing this since, what, April? I mean technically she's done this micro-workout walking bullshit for years, but she's been sorta-kinda sticking with it since about April, accordign to her. That's more than 5 months. And she still hasn't even reached five continuous minutes of walking once a day. In five months!

And here she is, defiantly refusing to add a few more tiny sessions per day. Such a farce. She doesn't want to change.

It's just like how she'll virtue signal about how she loves water and she's obsessed with water even though she can't bring herself to drink water without all sorts of gimmicks and accessories.

Also she thinks she'd gain weight eating 3400 calories even though she'd be able to get under 500 lbs if she could stick to that.

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

I set up an entire wiki site and no one joined. No worries. It's not mediawiki so it's kind of a chore. I want to see CWC level organization lol.

 

[Twinkie]

I set up an entire wiki site and no one joined. No worries. It's not mediawiki so it's kind of a chore. I want to see CWC level organization lol.

well that sucks but again, kiwi farms does have an official wiki so you could just work on there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Nicotine Fetish]

Amberlynn:
*does the same thing she’s done and failed at a million times*

Commenters:
*points at cycle*

Amberlynn:
“I know what I’m doing”

Commenters:
*points at cycle aggressively*

Amberlynn:
*gains weight*

Kiwifarms chanting:
*six zero zero six zero zero six zero zero*

 

[Clintonberg]

View attachment 920618
Shit like this pisses me off. You are practically almost dead. You cannot afford to prance around the idea of "oh if it's not fun I dont want it." You. Have. To. Change. Yesterday. Starting small isn't going to work for you. You do not have the time like someone who needs to only lose 50lbs or even 100lbs does.

She'd probably be more likely to succeed if she exercised multiple times a day too. She's definitely not going to make a positive habit out of what she's doing now, and in all honesty she probably sees the three minute waddlefests as a dreadful chore already.

Also she thinks she'd gain weight eating 3400 calories even though she'd be able to get under 500 lbs if she could stick to that.
View attachment 921000

She knows how her body works, Boo Boo.

 

[ADHD]

She'd probably be more likely to succeed if she exercised multiple times a day too. She's definitely not going to make a positive habit out of what she's doing now, and in all honesty she probably sees the three minute waddlefests as a dreadful chore already.

If she works out more, she might *gasp* sweat, and then she'd have to *gasp* clean herself, which is a workout in itself. It's not like we can expect her to spend a couple of hours moving her body on a daily basis, that's just too much.

 

[Queen Kimberly]

Amberlynn will literally stab herself to get out of a healthy eating situation.

 

[Snusmumriken]

She gets plenty of exercise in mental gymnastics.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Amberlynn will literally stab herself to get out of a healthy eating situation.
View attachment 921191

After cutting herself trying to pit that avocado, Amberlynn insisted on eating first before she went to the ER. True story!