Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Where, oh where, to begin.

Unlike Big Ham, some of us have actual, productive, important things to do that do not involve holding a phone in our face and blathering into it about how everything is shtooogood, or that we're going to the grocery store despite just being there the day/video before, or about how giveeen we are that we're foisting off our almost-expired or no longer wanted chemically,-ladenj preservative-laden, and generally unhealthy snacks onto the homeless (because fuck them, right?), or that we got our booster shot for the 'rona and.....basically nothing happened beyond the typical, mild side effects of ANY vax, or that we managed to eke out another couple of 4th grade art doodles that apparently eat up hours of our day, or try on the latest round of too-small clothes that we don't need and will likely never wear, or preside over our channel that is slowly dying, JUST LIKE US, and for mainly the same reasons: old, stale, generally un-fun, unwashed, unchanging, and uninteresting.

I thought about writing up reacts to the past three vids, but really, what's the point? She'll put out another that's exactly the same tomorrow. I will say that I will never, ever believe any weight she claims to be until she films a weighin at a doctor's office. If she were losing real weight, she would be smugly cramming it into the faces of haydur nation. And sorry (not sorry) Hamber, anything under 120 pounds is going to make zero difference in the way you look, now that gravity, combined with a loss of collagen and elasticity, is really taking hold.

One thing I did want to say, however, is that her performative "muh mentalz" pisses me right the fuck off. "My psychologist thinks I might have PTSD", her claim now of actually having ADHD, etc.: none of it is real. Previously, I was willing to give her some generalized anxiety disorder - because that's just being human in these times - and MAYBE depression, although I'm thinking clinical depression is not really in play after thinking about it some more. There's nothing wrong with this bitch, mentally, beyond BPD with elements of narcissist and histrionic. She's an uninteresting, unintellectual, aattention-seeking, gluttonous, lazy fatbody who can't be bothered to put in more than the bare minimum to get paid. Her channel is tanking because of it. She deserves every bit of criticism she receives.

And I'm here for every single fucking minute of it.

 

[FupaCitySheriff]

View attachment 3365051

Also complained about how long it took a doctor to find a vein on destiny and called the nurses minions.

I can't think of any adult who looks more like a Minion than Density. She could perform at kids' birthday parties.

 

[AnonymousThrowLala]

Just a general observation that I have nowhere else to put:

I have been thinking how absolutely disgusting and horrible it must be to live with ALR if both Destiny and Becky had to call it quits.

With Krystal, it made sense since Amber was the moochER but in these last few relationships, she was the provider. These were kept women*, so to speak. Destiny and Becky are both irrefutably shitty and lazy people (the latter moreso admittedly).

Just think: to be offered the ability to literally quit your job and adult responsibilities in favor of staying home, watching movies, playing video games, and being stimulated solely by Target shopping and board games would be a sweet deal for most but it would be the fucking jackpot for their particular demographic. How fucking bad does it have to be for them to both decide leaving, staring over, and becoming employable again (as big, fat, ugly, and dumb toddlers who have done fuck all for years) is the more preferable choice?

I wish just one of them would give us an authentic day in the life vlog of what it was like to live with ALR. I watched the snowflake docuseries and it was astonishing that before ALR even started making decent cash, she sat at home while Destiny worked and expected Destiny to do all the cooking and cleaning too when she got home. And I’m betting that’s not even scratching the surface of her assholery.

 

[Anti Pickle Serum]

Is she storing acorns in her pouch? What the lumpy fuck is happening.
View attachment 3363414

You mean acorn squash, right?

 

[Constellationzero]

How fucking bad does it have to be for them to both decide leaving, staring over, and becoming employable again (as big, fat, ugly, and dumb toddlers who have done fuck all for years) is the more preferable choice?

Now that you mention this, I imagine they couldn't even "get away" in the car by themselves for even one hour. Not without the braphog hurpling along, squealing and "OMYGAWDAREYOUNERVOUS? WHATAREYOUGETTING? AREYOUEXCITED?" all with that fucking phone shoved up your sigmoid colon.

Unless they're really too lazy to even lie and make up a "job" to be at and have "overtime."

 

[notfoodienotbeauty]

I watched the snowflake docuseries and it was astonishing that before ALR even started making decent cash, she sat at home while Destiny worked and expected Destiny to do all the cooking and cleaning too when she got home. And I’m betting that’s not even scratching the surface of her assholery.

And then when they needed money it was Destiny that pawned her stuff, not Amber. Amber has used every single gf for a place to live. Wipey is the only one that she could offer a home to.

Now that you mention this, I imagine they couldn't even "get away" in the car by themselves for even one hour. Not without the braphog hurpling along, squealing and "OMYGAWDAREYOUNERVOUS? WHATAREYOUGETTING? AREYOUEXCITED?" all with that fucking phone shoved up your sigmoid colon.

Unless they're really too lazy to even lie and make up a "job" to be at and have "overtime."

Of course they can't. Amber has to tag along everywhere because she can't be alone. She would rather sit in the car while Destiny worked or going with Becky to pick a grave for her mom and keeping her big ass in the car, and filming a tiktok about lesbian porn, than be home alone. Plus it gives her an excuse to go to a restaurant while out.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

And then when they needed money it was Destiny that pawned her stuff, not Amber. Amber has used every single gf for a place to live. Wipey is the only one that she could offer a home to.

Of course they can't. Amber has to tag along everywhere because she can't be alone. She would rather sit in the car while Destiny worked or going with Becky to pick a grave for her mom and keeping her big ass in the car, and filming a tiktok about lesbian porn, than be home alone. Plus it gives her an excuse to go to a restaurant while out.

Didn't Amber not even work in the nursing home, but rather just tagged along breaking HIPAA and couches while Destiny "worked?" Hell, didn't Destiny and Amber work that "government job" together? I could be wrong. Becky was also encouraged to quit her sawmill job, and being the lazy thumb she is, she took the offer. It truly is a 24/7/365 deal if you're with Amber. She cannot be alone, ever. As much as I dislike Destiny and Becky, that expectation is pretty fucked up. Even the most social people need to be alone sometimes.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Didn't Amber not even work in the nursing home, but rather just tagged along breaking HIPAA and couches while Destiny "worked?"

No, she was employed there. But, she and Dusty had different days off, so when Dusty was working on Hamber's day off, she would go in to loom over Destiny and be a general screeching nuisance/ break HIPAA.

 

[notfoodienotbeauty]

Didn't Amber not even work in the nursing home, but rather just tagged along breaking HIPAA and couches while Destiny "worked?" Hell, didn't Destiny and Amber work that "government job" together? I could be wrong. Becky was also encouraged to quit her sawmill job, and being the lazy thumb she is, she took the offer. It truly is a 24/7/365 deal if you're with Amber. She cannot be alone, ever. As much as I dislike Destiny and Becky, that expectation is pretty fucked up. Even the most social people need to be alone sometimes.

Also, if I remember correctly, Amber only worked two days a week, four hour shifts, so a whole 8 hours a week. Then tagged along when Destiny worked.

As much as I dislike Destiny I have to give her some credit for refusing to quit her job when Amber wanted her to. Becky jumped at the chance to sit at home and be Amber's 24 hour food delivery service. Collecting Walmart t shirts and $5 DVDs.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

No, she was employed there. But, she and Dusty had different days off, so when Dusty was working on Hamber's day off, she would go in to loom over Destiny and be a general screeching nuisance/ break HIPAA.

Also, if I remember correctly, Amber only worked two days a week, four hour shifts, so a whole 8 hours a week. Then tagged along when Destiny worked.

As much as I dislike Destiny I have to give her some credit for refusing to quit her job when Amber wanted her to. Becky jumped at the chance to sit at home and be Amber's 24 hour food delivery service. Collecting Walmart t shirts and $5 DVDs.

Thanks. I started following Amber very late into the Destiny era so that stuff can get particularly murky in my memory. Still fucked that she'd stick around with Destiny at work even on her days off. Destiny was just as nasty and HIPAA breaking as Amber, but not even having work shifts away from your partner sucks.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

Amber has to tag along everywhere because she can't be alone. She would rather sit in the car while Destiny worked or going with Becky to pick a grave for her mom and keeping her big ass in the car, and filming a tiktok about lesbian porn, than be home alone.

I think it is a source of conflict between her and Jade. Jade has and will continue to fly to NYC to see her family, living Amber alone. During these times, Amber “punishes” Jade by eating enormous amounts of food and blaming it on her mental issues. Of course, she denies it and leave them untreated.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Question for the videomongers in here with much more skill than I: has anyone put together anything showing Big Ham's laaayyyg development/devolution through the years? She keeps showing those evil totems the calls laygs, and it looks like they're an order of magnitude larger these days, even accounting for lymphedema increase due to gravity and general aging. I'm just curious if her "80 ellbees" of weight loss she thinks she has is something that's just moved into her laygs. We know her lower lymphedema sleeve on her calf has slid what looks to be less than an inch (you limey bastards can convert that into cm, lol) off the ground at this point. I'm wondering if the distribution is more even throughout her legs, or if fluid seeking its lowest point via gravity is pooling it moreso in the calf region.

I finally watched the booster shot vid, and goddamn what a crybaby. You ain't tired because of the booster, bitch. Your sleep patterns suck, as usual, and your eating sucks, as usual. Your great, savior, "I've never been supported like this before" "gf" has given up, just like every other one of them.

BTW, no seatbelt across that giant, lethal bag of jello in the passenger seat of that car, "gf", even though Big Ham smugly assured us all that she could so wear a seatbelt, as if it was ever a possibility that she couldn't. You better hope you don't get into any accidents that involve lateral motion, because while you are not exactly slim yourself, at a clip of just 35 mph, she'd squash you like a grifting little bug.

 

[Pippeyy]

Question for the videomongers in here with much more skill than I: has anyone put together anything showing Big Ham's laaayyyg development/devolution through the years? She keeps showing those evil totems the calls laygs, and it looks like they're an order of magnitude larger these days, even accounting for lymphedema increase due to gravity and general aging. I'm just curious if her "80 ellbees" of weight loss she thinks she has is something that's just moved into her laygs. We know her lower lymphedema sleeve on her calf has slid what looks to be less than an inch (you limey bastards can convert that into cm, lol) off the ground at this point. I'm wondering if the distribution is more even throughout her legs, or if fluid seeking its lowest point via gravity is pooling it moreso in the calf region.

I finally watched the booster shot vid, and goddamn what a crybaby. You ain't tired because of the booster, bitch. Your sleep patterns suck, as usual, and your eating sucks, as usual. Your great, savior, "I've never been supported like this before" "gf" has given up, just like every other one of them.

BTW, no seatbelt across that giant, lethal bag of jello in the passenger seat of that car, "gf", even though Big Ham smugly assured us all that she could so wear a seatbelt, as if it was ever a possibility that she couldn't. You better hope you don't get into any accidents that involve lateral motion, because while you are not exactly slim yourself, at a clip of just 35 mph, she'd squash you like a grifting little bug.

There's an "black pants journey" video that shows her legs (and lower belly balls) growth since she started. I think Apathetic Faxx made it.

Edit: found one of them.

 

[Tiki Bar Man]

There's an "black pants journey" video that shows her legs (and lower belly balls) growth since she started. I think Apathetic Faxx made it.

Edit: found one of them.

Someone should make one about her hairline lol

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Was watching ZM's react to this booster crap, and I think the math geeks could help us out here: I think it's possible to actually determine how wide Hamber is.

For most of the doings in the amberverse, it's been a little difficult to figure out just how fucking massively wide she is, because she just sorts of floats through things, untethered, and without a good frame of reference. At E&R's, for instance, we just knew that she was fatter than Becky, and super fatter than the boys (and obviously gargantuan compared to the animals). But here, in this frame, we have an ideal frame of reference, I think. Leaving full size for this.

The slats of the blinds - they'd have to be scaled, of course, to take into account her distance from them, but (correct me if I'm wrong, nerds), if we know the length of the slats, and the distance between them, that could be scaled for length here, and her widest point (her shelf ass, of course) would tell us just how large she is and why she can't fit into a 3' bore for scans. If we know the vertical distance between open slats, we can also tell just how much flab is hanging off her forearm, too. It's an apartment complex, they're not going to use anything that isn't ubiquitous, as inevitably, they'll need to replace probably more than one set in any given year. We know what a standard window width is, so the blinds would need to be for that standard.

What do you think, you guise - possible?


@Pippeyy - thanks for that! I'm off to horrify myself.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Was watching ZM's react to this booster crap, and I think the math geeks could help us out here: I think it's possible to actually determine how wide Hamber is.

For most of the doings in the amberverse, it's been a little difficult to figure out just how fucking massively wide she is, because she just sorts of floats through things, untethered, and without a good frame of reference. At E&R's, for instance, we just knew that she was fatter than Becky, and super fatter than the boys (and obviously gargantuan compared to the animals). But here, in this frame, we have an ideal frame of reference, I think. Leaving full size for this.

View attachment 3368816

The slats of the blinds - they'd have to be scaled, of course, to take into account her distance from them, but (correct me if I'm wrong, nerds), if we know the length of the slats, and the distance between them, that could be scaled for length here, and her widest point (her shelf ass, of course) would tell us just how large she is and why she can't fit into a 3' bore for scans. If we know the vertical distance between open slats, we can also tell just how much flab is hanging off her forearm, too. It's an apartment complex, they're not going to use anything that isn't ubiquitous, as inevitably, they'll need to replace probably more than one set in any given year. We know what a standard window width is, so the blinds would need to be for that standard.

What do you think, you guise - possible?


@Pippeyy - thanks for that! I'm off to horrify myself.

Math hurts my head. Dat's a lot of figgerin' just to say she's really fucking fat.

 

[TC-P]

I am not a math wiz but could you not use the size guide of one of your torrid outfits?

 

[lol cow supreme]

I am not a math wiz but could you not use the size guide of one of your torrid outfits?

She stretches out the torrid items beyond dimension. for instance a size 6x is supposed to drape over a 72inch lower hip. On her they stretch out.
But not accounting for lense issues you can do this fairly easy. just find a still with her HOLDING something of a known fixed size. Such as this photo were she is standing next to a bottle of minute made lemonade in the 16.9oz bottle. Or the second Gem where she's next to a standard US light switch plate where the cutout for the switch is always 1 inch tall (the inner rectangle) and typically they are 4.5 x 2.75 inches overall. using that the diameter of her right arm flab there is approximately 10 inches. Now you know how to do it, have fun!

 

[BallBuster]

Was watching ZM's react to this booster crap, and I think the math geeks could help us out here: I think it's possible to actually determine how wide Hamber is.

For most of the doings in the amberverse, it's been a little difficult to figure out just how fucking massively wide she is, because she just sorts of floats through things, untethered, and without a good frame of reference. At E&R's, for instance, we just knew that she was fatter than Becky, and super fatter than the boys (and obviously gargantuan compared to the animals). But here, in this frame, we have an ideal frame of reference, I think. Leaving full size for this.

View attachment 3368816

The slats of the blinds - they'd have to be scaled, of course, to take into account her distance from them, but (correct me if I'm wrong, nerds), if we know the length of the slats, and the distance between them, that could be scaled for length here, and her widest point (her shelf ass, of course) would tell us just how large she is and why she can't fit into a 3' bore for scans. If we know the vertical distance between open slats, we can also tell just how much flab is hanging off her forearm, too. It's an apartment complex, they're not going to use anything that isn't ubiquitous, as inevitably, they'll need to replace probably more than one set in any given year. We know what a standard window width is, so the blinds would need to be for that standard.

What do you think, you guise - possible?


@Pippeyy - thanks for that! I'm off to horrify myself.

Need the guys that do all the calculations for Death Battle to figure this one out.

 

[TC-P]

She stretches out the torrid items beyond dimension. for instance a size 6x is supposed to drape over a 72inch lower hip. On her they stretch out.
But not accounting for lense issues you can do this fairly easy. just find a still with her HOLDING something of a known fixed size. Such as this photo were she is standing next to a bottle of minute made lemonade in the 16.9oz bottle. Or the second Gem where she's next to a standard US light switch plate where the cutout for the switch is always 1 inch tall (the inner rectangle) and typically they are 4.5 x 2.75 inches overall. using that the diameter of her right arm flab there is approximately 10 inches. Now you know how to do it, have fun!View attachment 3369137View attachment 3369115

Thank you but math is not my area.