Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
Not bothering with days 5 of her not very interesting eating vlog except to say what the fuck with the sodium, goddamn.
Instead, lets skip to what will no doubt be an enthralling vlog of Big Ham and the "gf" sampling new and exciting cuisine that's something other than what you can find in any basic bodega.
-30 for the intro. It sucks.
Oh, FFS. Bitching about an "ang-zie-tee moment" right out of the gate, claims to have been crying. No, you didn't, and no, you weren't.
Meal one: Maruchan Cup O' Noodles. I thought for a moment i was in yesterday's video, but nope. Just Another day in the amberverse. Speaking of just another day, I think everyone will enjoy this:
Claims to have just put on her shirt, and I find that hard to believe given your tales about how you love to clean, Fat Ham, as it's covered in pet fur. Three possibles: you don't clean as thoroughly as you claim, the shirt laid around because you're too lazy to put away your clothes, or - and this is my guess - it's what you slept in. Whatever. Instead of,say, standing over a trash can and brushing that shit off, she just does it wherever it is she standing. Fake tits center frame in the camera.
She's wrestling with getting the plastic and then the lid off the fucking thing and it's making me stabby. And her breathing, good lord. She's sucking wind just standing there trying to get her bucket of sodium open. While she throws the container in the microwave instead of just putting a cup of water in to heat and then dumping that into the container, she's going to one again throw the thing into the microwave, as they tell you not to do, and go weight herself.
She "has a feeling" she's going to be up weight. You. Don't. Say. I bet it'll be because of the sodiumz. Can't use the car excuse for this one. Hmmm....trying to find another escape goat for Hamber to use. Ah, fuck it. You're fat because you eat too many calories, Fat Ham. Whatever amount that is, it's far more than 2k - 3k calories. But, lying is one of your defining characteristics, so no real surprise there. I'm going to go ahead and pre-round it to 500.
First, though, scintillating content: she waddles, hufffing, to the sink, and describes what she's doing like we're watching an autopsy. I suppose we are, really - it's curently just the autopsy of a sad, useless life. "I'm just filling this with water," she says, turning on the water. Seriously, you guise, her breathing. She's out of breath walking from the pantry to the sink. What happened to all those things it's so much easier to do now, Hamber? What happened to all that stamima? How's that Joaquin going, by the way? Still not that well, eh?
"I'm just going to put this in for two fifty," she says. "Two fifty. Don't know why I said that. Two minutes exactly." She then puts it in for less than a minute, turns to the camera and tries what I suppose is dancing.
Did you guise know she was a champion kor-REE-uh-graf-er?
Next meal. Wait, hold up. Where's the weight, bitch? Guess it must be pretty bad in the narrative she has going on here, LOL.
Two mini bagels - of course it's carbs, she has to carb load for her walking, you know, geez. Just like that nasty, cardboard StoveTop "stuffing" she ate a box of yesterday. Hey, Hamber, here's a tip, in the event you are out off StoveTop the next time you get a hankerin' fer it and don't want to have to wait for InstaCart to deliver: put 1/4 up of water in a pan, and add two tablespoons of salt, a teaspoon of black pepper, a dash of thyme, a pinch of rosemary, and two teaspoons of garlic powder to the water. Let that come to a simmer, and stir it a couple of times to make sure everything has dissolved. Then take two slices of bread, throw them in the pan, let it summer for one minutes, slam a lid on it, and take it off the heat. Let sit for one minute. Serve. Delicious! And only the bread has any calories to count!
Where were w? Ah. mini bagels. She "couldn't decide" whether she wanted sweet or savory, so in the truest sense of fat Ham, she has bolth. One with grape jelly, one with butter and cinnamon, one with regular cream cheese, and one with chive and onion cream cheese. The latter she has to look at the label for, to determine what kind it is, and to that I say, didn't you JUST schmear that on the bagel? Also, how many fucking varieties of cream cheese do you have that you don't know what it is if it isn't the regular version? I will never understand how these are not toasted, as is done in civilized society. Calories on that: who cares. She's rendering these little performative eating bits useless, as she is clearly eating a ton of other food she does not show us. Skipping past her shoveling all this shit into her piehole.
FFS. Groceries. Again. More lentil chip snack. Says she is trying to find foods that when she has the urge to "binge" - YOU DO NOT HAVE BED YOU CUNT - are not stratuspheric in calories. Oh, and she's not going to "stop bingeen" overnight". Go watch that video up above to understand why I found this to be hilarious. Blah blah blah calories on half a bag of these chips, as if she's going to eat just half a bag.
Veggie burgers, Fake chicken. Broccoli. Says "We love broccoli in this his house." Looks at the "gf" offcamera, giggles. Fuck you, you cunt. Oatmeal. More shit you dump into your water. Cinnamon sugar. Chicken. Ground turkey. (Turkey meatballs for dinner.)
Acts as if she "forgot" to put her weight in. 496.8. So, 500 pounds, still. "Fluctuations, amirite?" she asks, as if she is the first person to say this. No, bitch, haydur nation was, and it's amazing how it's "fluctuations" when the weight goes up, but you "actively losing weight" and being fine with "ounces a day" when it goes down. You're so fucking stupid.
Next meal. Frozen burrito. Two vanilla scones. You just unpacked a bunch of fucking groceries. Why are you eating shitty food when you could make something and listen to me hahahaha I am constantly forgetting I'm in the amberverse and ok, let's move along.
Shows some bullshit on the chalkboard that the "gf" wrote. Whatever. just fucking cook your goddamned meatballs. Or, rather, make your personal chef do it., so we can get the fuck done with this video.
Looks like the "gf" got her watch situation type deal upgraded, too, joining the digital age. At least she cooks with oil and doesn't thinking boiling meatballs is appetizing. Running through this shit at 2x. They also have rie with whatever the fuck Hamber puts in the water, and broccoli. Quick shot of Twonk. Garlic sauce (from a bottle, of course) on the meatballs. Boring ass plate.
Feeder porn,
Now we get Fat Ham interrupting the "gf"'s meal by grabbing her plate and holding it to the camera to show the "gf" always eats her veg first. Who gives a shit?
Riveting nontent: playing mario. Skip skip skip.
Baby talk at Rarity.
"Instead of bingeen by getting McD's", she eats a bag of lentil chips.
"Forgot" to tell us that she ordered a diet Dr Pepper from McD's earlier. No, you didn't. Claims to be "addicted" to their diet Dr Pepper and this fucking attitude is why you fail and why you will ALWAYS fail, FaiLynn.
End of video. Stats:
Weight: 496.8 (She is easily over 500, but reality is meaningless in the amberverse)
Steps: 2474 (Sure, Fat Ham)
Calories: 2265 (Only if we don't include the shit she ate that she "forgot" to tell us about.)
Oh, funny: she says she had "zero energy" today. Gosh, how the fuck could that be? It isn't like you ate a shitload of simple carbs, sodiumz, and sugar. She has to "get back into" walkeen and wants her audience to motivate her, "scream at me in the comments if you have to". Is that right, Ms "Tough love doesn't work on your gorl"?
TL;DW/R: Hamber eats shitty food - instant ramen, vanilla scones, frozen burrito, diet Dr Pepper, lentil chips - and has a halfway decent meal - turkey meatballs, rice, broccoli. Still 500 pounds. Buys groceries, Whines about needing motivation and tough love to get her walking again, even though she's told us several rimes that "tough love doesn't work for me". Yoinks the "gf"'s plate into the camera while they're eating to show us she eats her veg first, unlike Big Ham, who operates like the fucking dumpster she is and just shovels it in, wherever her fork happens to land, as quickly as possible. Gives us fake stats on walking and step count. The end.
Instead, lets skip to what will no doubt be an enthralling vlog of Big Ham and the "gf" sampling new and exciting cuisine that's something other than what you can find in any basic bodega.
cook with us & grocery haul! | what I ate today | episode 6 - July 3, 2022
-30 for the intro. It sucks.
Oh, FFS. Bitching about an "ang-zie-tee moment" right out of the gate, claims to have been crying. No, you didn't, and no, you weren't.
Meal one: Maruchan Cup O' Noodles. I thought for a moment i was in yesterday's video, but nope. Just Another day in the amberverse. Speaking of just another day, I think everyone will enjoy this:
Claims to have just put on her shirt, and I find that hard to believe given your tales about how you love to clean, Fat Ham, as it's covered in pet fur. Three possibles: you don't clean as thoroughly as you claim, the shirt laid around because you're too lazy to put away your clothes, or - and this is my guess - it's what you slept in. Whatever. Instead of,say, standing over a trash can and brushing that shit off, she just does it wherever it is she standing. Fake tits center frame in the camera.
She's wrestling with getting the plastic and then the lid off the fucking thing and it's making me stabby. And her breathing, good lord. She's sucking wind just standing there trying to get her bucket of sodium open. While she throws the container in the microwave instead of just putting a cup of water in to heat and then dumping that into the container, she's going to one again throw the thing into the microwave, as they tell you not to do, and go weight herself.
She "has a feeling" she's going to be up weight. You. Don't. Say. I bet it'll be because of the sodiumz. Can't use the car excuse for this one. Hmmm....trying to find another escape goat for Hamber to use. Ah, fuck it. You're fat because you eat too many calories, Fat Ham. Whatever amount that is, it's far more than 2k - 3k calories. But, lying is one of your defining characteristics, so no real surprise there. I'm going to go ahead and pre-round it to 500.
First, though, scintillating content: she waddles, hufffing, to the sink, and describes what she's doing like we're watching an autopsy. I suppose we are, really - it's curently just the autopsy of a sad, useless life. "I'm just filling this with water," she says, turning on the water. Seriously, you guise, her breathing. She's out of breath walking from the pantry to the sink. What happened to all those things it's so much easier to do now, Hamber? What happened to all that stamima? How's that Joaquin going, by the way? Still not that well, eh?
"I'm just going to put this in for two fifty," she says. "Two fifty. Don't know why I said that. Two minutes exactly." She then puts it in for less than a minute, turns to the camera and tries what I suppose is dancing.
Did you guise know she was a champion kor-REE-uh-graf-er?
Next meal. Wait, hold up. Where's the weight, bitch? Guess it must be pretty bad in the narrative she has going on here, LOL.
Two mini bagels - of course it's carbs, she has to carb load for her walking, you know, geez. Just like that nasty, cardboard StoveTop "stuffing" she ate a box of yesterday. Hey, Hamber, here's a tip, in the event you are out off StoveTop the next time you get a hankerin' fer it and don't want to have to wait for InstaCart to deliver: put 1/4 up of water in a pan, and add two tablespoons of salt, a teaspoon of black pepper, a dash of thyme, a pinch of rosemary, and two teaspoons of garlic powder to the water. Let that come to a simmer, and stir it a couple of times to make sure everything has dissolved. Then take two slices of bread, throw them in the pan, let it summer for one minutes, slam a lid on it, and take it off the heat. Let sit for one minute. Serve. Delicious! And only the bread has any calories to count!
Where were w? Ah. mini bagels. She "couldn't decide" whether she wanted sweet or savory, so in the truest sense of fat Ham, she has bolth. One with grape jelly, one with butter and cinnamon, one with regular cream cheese, and one with chive and onion cream cheese. The latter she has to look at the label for, to determine what kind it is, and to that I say, didn't you JUST schmear that on the bagel? Also, how many fucking varieties of cream cheese do you have that you don't know what it is if it isn't the regular version? I will never understand how these are not toasted, as is done in civilized society. Calories on that: who cares. She's rendering these little performative eating bits useless, as she is clearly eating a ton of other food she does not show us. Skipping past her shoveling all this shit into her piehole.
FFS. Groceries. Again. More lentil chip snack. Says she is trying to find foods that when she has the urge to "binge" - YOU DO NOT HAVE BED YOU CUNT - are not stratuspheric in calories. Oh, and she's not going to "stop bingeen" overnight". Go watch that video up above to understand why I found this to be hilarious. Blah blah blah calories on half a bag of these chips, as if she's going to eat just half a bag.
Veggie burgers, Fake chicken. Broccoli. Says "We love broccoli in this his house." Looks at the "gf" offcamera, giggles. Fuck you, you cunt. Oatmeal. More shit you dump into your water. Cinnamon sugar. Chicken. Ground turkey. (Turkey meatballs for dinner.)
Acts as if she "forgot" to put her weight in. 496.8. So, 500 pounds, still. "Fluctuations, amirite?" she asks, as if she is the first person to say this. No, bitch, haydur nation was, and it's amazing how it's "fluctuations" when the weight goes up, but you "actively losing weight" and being fine with "ounces a day" when it goes down. You're so fucking stupid.
Next meal. Frozen burrito. Two vanilla scones. You just unpacked a bunch of fucking groceries. Why are you eating shitty food when you could make something and listen to me hahahaha I am constantly forgetting I'm in the amberverse and ok, let's move along.
Shows some bullshit on the chalkboard that the "gf" wrote. Whatever. just fucking cook your goddamned meatballs. Or, rather, make your personal chef do it., so we can get the fuck done with this video.
Looks like the "gf" got her watch situation type deal upgraded, too, joining the digital age. At least she cooks with oil and doesn't thinking boiling meatballs is appetizing. Running through this shit at 2x. They also have rie with whatever the fuck Hamber puts in the water, and broccoli. Quick shot of Twonk. Garlic sauce (from a bottle, of course) on the meatballs. Boring ass plate.
Feeder porn,
Now we get Fat Ham interrupting the "gf"'s meal by grabbing her plate and holding it to the camera to show the "gf" always eats her veg first. Who gives a shit?
Riveting nontent: playing mario. Skip skip skip.
Baby talk at Rarity.
"Instead of bingeen by getting McD's", she eats a bag of lentil chips.
"Forgot" to tell us that she ordered a diet Dr Pepper from McD's earlier. No, you didn't. Claims to be "addicted" to their diet Dr Pepper and this fucking attitude is why you fail and why you will ALWAYS fail, FaiLynn.
End of video. Stats:
Weight: 496.8 (She is easily over 500, but reality is meaningless in the amberverse)
Steps: 2474 (Sure, Fat Ham)
Calories: 2265 (Only if we don't include the shit she ate that she "forgot" to tell us about.)
Oh, funny: she says she had "zero energy" today. Gosh, how the fuck could that be? It isn't like you ate a shitload of simple carbs, sodiumz, and sugar. She has to "get back into" walkeen and wants her audience to motivate her, "scream at me in the comments if you have to". Is that right, Ms "Tough love doesn't work on your gorl"?
TL;DW/R: Hamber eats shitty food - instant ramen, vanilla scones, frozen burrito, diet Dr Pepper, lentil chips - and has a halfway decent meal - turkey meatballs, rice, broccoli. Still 500 pounds. Buys groceries, Whines about needing motivation and tough love to get her walking again, even though she's told us several rimes that "tough love doesn't work for me". Yoinks the "gf"'s plate into the camera while they're eating to show us she eats her veg first, unlike Big Ham, who operates like the fucking dumpster she is and just shovels it in, wherever her fork happens to land, as quickly as possible. Gives us fake stats on walking and step count. The end.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2015
This is my first post on this board.
This fat piece of shit will die of fat-related causes in November 2022.
Screenshot this.
This fat piece of shit will die of fat-related causes in November 2022.
Screenshot this.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
Wants people to scream at her in the comments because that will count as engagement and help her channel. Don't fall for that shit.
Amber's 31. We know she isn't likely to live into her 60s, but isn't she due for a midlife crisis soon?
Amber's 31. We know she isn't likely to live into her 60s, but isn't she due for a midlife crisis soon?
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
Interesting. I thought the statute of limitations limited these sorts of complaints to 180 days beyond the last known date of discrimination, with 300 days tacked on if there are local or state laws barring the same type of discrimination. So, 480 days total. Did a quick calc, and Sept 30, 2020 to Fec 14, 2022, is 502 days. Be a pity if he lawsuit brought by Jade Francis against AptDeco was tossed for coming in beyond the statute of limitations. I'd wager they could also claim undue hardship in the "reasonable accommodation" portion of the Act, if granting those items the "gf" demanded means the "customer experience" (fucking business buzzword bingo) would b materially impacted. It would also be terrible if they somehow found out that the "gf"'s argument about being worried about being required to return to the office and COVID was a big, fat lie, given her complete lack of reluctance to fly to another state - going through more than one airport and being in very close quarters on at least one plane full of other people - doesn't seem to have worried her at all related to her alleged disability.
If the defendants have any brains, they could probably get this tossed, for SOL reasons. Or, they could agree o trial by jury, ask for a speedy trial date, and dump these things into testimony: SOL, undue hardship in accommodations, and travel and moving during COVID. They could also point to her moving out of state, when they require someone to be in the office, basd on their policy, as a return to pre-pandemic regular work shifts.
Generally worker's comp where people are claiming 50%+ disability caused by injuries sustained on the job are prime targets for the PI thing, as are slip and fall types of cases (slipping on something in the grocery store, falling into a manhole, etc.).
She acts like it's the time before refrigeration, when people had to shop every couple of days because fresh food would rot if kept for any longer period of time.
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Asmobaby
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 3, 2022
#justiceforgracie
Seriously, though, Mr. Snowflake is a national treasure. He actually makes Hamber's content watchable.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
This absolute cesspit of a bitch doesn't even toast her goddamn garbage bagels. So fucking triggered rn.
Actively losing weight y'all.
Actively losing weight y'all.
- Joined
- May 3, 2021
She's so impatient for her fix that she can't wait a couple of minutes to toast a fucking bagel. She's a full-blown addict. People with BED don't plan their binges. Addicts who get off on prepping and planning to do their drug of choice do.
- Joined
- May 13, 2019
She'll kill us all of boredom way before that.
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2022
I’ve not seen these posted yet, but please forgive me if I somehow missed them.
The first picture is a comment ALR left on AlexIsShook’s video and the second is her responding to someone’s reply to said comment. Unfortunately (and somewhat unsurprisingly), I wasn’t able to find the original comment, so these screenshots are courtesy of the Narc Alert and AlexIsShook.
The first picture is a comment ALR left on AlexIsShook’s video and the second is her responding to someone’s reply to said comment. Unfortunately (and somewhat unsurprisingly), I wasn’t able to find the original comment, so these screenshots are courtesy of the Narc Alert and AlexIsShook.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2022
I’m hoping for the BrokeLynn “back to the meth lab trailer we go” arc when her YouTube channel tanks first. Then and only then may she have the heart attack. I want my goddamn moneys worth first.
Tardprincess
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2022
She's gotta be 5-6 feet around, I'm not sure you can even get tailor's tape in that length.
And she'd be pulling the tape so hard to prove she lost an inch, or say shes so swolleeeeen that she'll take off 2 inchess just to account for wator waiyyyt
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2021
I'm not sure if the warning not to microwave those noodle cups is based on carcinogens being released or the danger of it melting/deforming as you pick it up.
But if it's the latter; she'd be nursing that burn until the day she dies if the state of her arms are anything to go by.
But if it's the latter; she'd be nursing that burn until the day she dies if the state of her arms are anything to go by.
Lack of a better nickname
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 19, 2020
When I was obese (127kg, about half an Amberlynn) I used to have a 4.5 feet waist. And I'm 5'10. No way she is 5 or 6 feet around
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2020
Not enough garlic salt, Mrs Dash table blend, Mrs Dash italian blend, Mrs Dash low sodiums blend, minced onion and tapatio for our gorl I'm afraid.
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2017
Thinking that Amber "isn't a lesbian" doesn't mean you automatically think she's straight. I think it's more likely that Amber is bisexual and chooses to be with women over men because it's the easiest way to get out of having sex. She never had sex with Casey or Krystle, because she said she was afraid to, that she smelled bad down there, whatever million excuses she would make up. The first and only person she actually had sex with was Destiny (let's be real the term 'had sex' is used loosely here, she let Destiny wiggle a fingee on her clit that's about all) and I think it's likely Destiny is the only person she ever really loved who loved her back in the same way.
Amber chooses relationships based on her lease being up and needing a new place to live, who can drive her to Walmart, who will give her attention, who won't try to stop her from eating and being a fat lazy cow, and most importantly, who will not pressure her to have sex. It's pretty easy to be in a long term relationship with a woman and not have sex. It's not easy to have a long term relationship with a man and not have sex.
FupaCitySheriff
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2020
Notice how any of her 'accomplishments' make her proud of herself - I walked for 1 minute....
Yet when she is found, held accountable or just outright fucks up, then suddenly that I becomes a WE - we can work on that, WE need to do better...
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2022
According to Torrid; a size 6 (let's be real that's the size she actually fits) the "lower hip" area aka her gunt would be 72"-76" or 6'-6'4" (1.83-1.94m) around.
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2020
Amberverse on trial. Pilot episode
-N.Y. tired judge: Miss Reidd, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
-Amber: Omg, I'm like... So nervous? Isn't that so weird? It's like the whole hand on book situation type deal moment.
Nigga Jade: *sights*
-N.Y. tired judge: We don't have time. Please proceed.
-Amber: Wifey is like... Very aesthetic pleasing? I don't think she did nothing wrong.
-N.Y.T. judge: Do you think?
-Amber: Yeah like we moved to this really nice place in Kentucky early during the pandemic. Like going to other state is so brave.
-N.Y.T. judge: really? Is she hard working?
-Amber: Yeah. like she's always driving around to get my food even in night-time when she is stressed out. She is always smoking when taking Twinkie to a walk every morning too, but like... Ain't nobody perfect, right?
-Nigga Jade's defense attorney: this whole testimony is not related to the case.
-Amber: ... And the sex is like... Soooo good, guys. We can last 4 hours non stop. My babe is extremely healthy and athletic. She is like perfect. I can't believe it.
-N.Y.T.: Guilty. Next.
-N.Y. tired judge: Miss Reidd, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
-Amber: Omg, I'm like... So nervous? Isn't that so weird? It's like the whole hand on book situation type deal moment.
Nigga Jade: *sights*
-N.Y. tired judge: We don't have time. Please proceed.
-Amber: Wifey is like... Very aesthetic pleasing? I don't think she did nothing wrong.
-N.Y.T. judge: Do you think?
-Amber: Yeah like we moved to this really nice place in Kentucky early during the pandemic. Like going to other state is so brave.
-N.Y.T. judge: really? Is she hard working?
-Amber: Yeah. like she's always driving around to get my food even in night-time when she is stressed out. She is always smoking when taking Twinkie to a walk every morning too, but like... Ain't nobody perfect, right?
-Nigga Jade's defense attorney: this whole testimony is not related to the case.
-Amber: ... And the sex is like... Soooo good, guys. We can last 4 hours non stop. My babe is extremely healthy and athletic. She is like perfect. I can't believe it.
-N.Y.T.: Guilty. Next.
- Joined
- May 29, 2021
Amber: BAYYBE did I do good? Do you love me? Let’s go to chili’s to celebrate!!!