Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 555 15.7%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,636 74.5%

  • Total voters
    3,540
we know Amberlynn is afraid of males either way,

Bollocks. She pines for male attention when there is opportunity.
I think Jade is just a butch beast of a WO0mNAn but Fat Cunt isn't afraid of men. It simply makes her seem dainty and traumatised to cryptically mention this supposed discomfort.

She'd revel in male attention if she could get it on tap.
 
we know Amberlynn is afraid of males either way
It simply makes her seem dainty and traumatised to cryptically mention this supposed discomfort.

A while ago I was reading some research papers on what predicts eating disorders and one finding that was replicated among multiple studies was that sexual abuse as a child was strongly predictive of who would and wouldn't develop an ED among women with PTSD.

Bringing things together we know Amber has weird sexual hangups in regards to penetration, she has eating issues, she apparently distrusts non-gay men, she was likely at risk growing up, she has a kind of arrested development (another effect of sexual abuse) and she seems to be a lesbian out of convenience as she still displays an interest in "boys" as she calls them. I think everyone knew she was molested and she may have alluded to it in the past, but this is just to say that it all checks out.

She could be lying but I think it's just more likely that she's just emotionally immature and extremely inarticulate, so when she wants to share these things all she can do is try to make it sound like something out of a YA novel. Talking like an adult about difficult topics is a bit beyond her.
 
I think that trying to diagnose Amber mental status is impossible since we do not know what she is saying is true or not. She says that she has childhood trauma but her mother was the best mother ever. She also said that she was traumatised by being served low-fat milk too. At the end of the day, she is an adult, her actions are only what is important. If she indeed she had childhood trauma, she should get it sorted. Otherwise, she is playing with words.
 
Amber has said in the past that being on a diet is as important as succeeding in losing weight. For her, the fact that she failed in losing weight is irrelevant, she succeeds in being on a diet. She also get a high in purchasing all the snacks from WW or JC or Optavia. I believe that Slimming World is not in the U.S., otherwise this system would be on the rotation too.
What's great is the obvious disconnect that goes on in her thought process, which forces her to always go to extremes. She seems to understand the general concepts to lose weight, but she can't apply them without making a mess of it.

I'll never get over her freaking out that 1200 calories is too little and she'll starve. Or that she's not getting the correct nutrients/minerals in some random diet, so she gives up the same day. It's a weird, autistic perspective that everything will happen once the stars align which doesn't happen without putting work in.

I can't fathom her miserable existence and I'm not sure how much she comprehends it either.
 
it simply makes her seem dainty and traumatised to cryptically mention this supposed discomfort.

I never have a hard time believing Amber experienced a traumatic childhood, for the one reason that the situation type deal has to be seriously bleak for the state of California to feel compelled to step in. It isn't fair that Amber's childhood panned out the way it did, and I'm not sure she's ever had an adult family member give a genuine shit about her. If she grew up in a family that was even just the normal level of dysfunctional, I'm sure her life would be very different right now. Maybe still be a dumb bitch, but dumb bitches live fulfilling lives all the time.

It really doesn't matter though. Amber's been on a time crunch to sort out her mentals this whole time. People tend to have sympathy and offer their support to young adults who obviously didn't get a good start, but that dries up rapidly when it never amounts to anything. Amber should have gotten an education, gone into a respectable line of work, maybe given back to people like the foster kids she used to be one of. Then she would be given credit for thriving despite her circumstances (something she wants) instead of 'lol no1 cur' (what she gets because she's 32 and acts like a retarded baby).

It's kind of funny to hear Amber "wants to open a place for all the cute animals so I can take care of them". I really have to know how much in the way of actual pet care she can accomplish. Can Amber stoop down to clean the litter box? Can she walk a dog? Can she walk? Nevermind that I bet she's still leaving out giant bowls of stale food and stagnent water so she just doesn't have to be assed.

It's really not cute when people who can't take care of animals open shelters. One of those was shut down in my town awhile ago. It was :heart-empty: and that woman wasn't even physically handicapped.
 
Day 6 or whatever

This will be the last time I bitch about this intro, but I NEED you to know how awful it is.

Lol the video opens with her waddling across the room to open the blinds on her window and it takes a good 10 seconds. Love that for her.

She’s calling a weight loss clinic. On camera. Someone transferred her to another department and she lost her shit. How DARE they don’t make this easy.

I feel like she’s done this shit before with the quiz and crap.

She got Jade an LED strip light that she’s just going to string up in Amber’s office for Amber.

It’s WASABI. RUN BOY, RUN.

She’s eating another poke bowl. The scabs on her arm are more plentiful today.

Wouldn’t it be funny if that seminar was just an hour of my 600lb life? That’d work for me.

Grocery shopping hauls are the DUMBEST thing ever. It only interests people whose entire life focuses on groceries. So Amber.

How many fukken WW points is a damn hot pocket? Doesn’t matter, cuz it’s stupid.

She whines about her play doh calendar being boring. Oooh the irony.

Rarity watches her throw the new cat toy across the room and isn’t interested either.

Twinkie is cute in that little sweater. But Amber is letting the leash drag under her legs beneath her body like, GIRL FIX YOUR DOGS LEASH.

We lookin at kittens. This is actually great content. More kittens, less talk over, please.

Okay these are some fukken cute kittens.

Anyway.

This video has taught me that I’d rather shop at Petsmart for 20 minutes than watch this damn video.

She’s taking some random personality quiz. Says she doesn’t want to bore us. Whaaaa

It told her she’s poetic. RAAAAAIN and petals eavesdrop!

She spends tons of time talking about this quiz because it’s all about her, so she’s very into this. Says she’s sensitive and giving and shit. I don’t care. She’s skimming the highlighted points, I’m skimming this video.

She wants a daughter so bad. If she had a son she’d love him probably.

She gets her care taker to read a word for her from the daily comment because she can’t read.

She ends the video with that awful cackle. How anyone deals with her in real life is beyond me.
 
It's kind of funny to hear Amber "wants to open a place for all the cute animals so I can take care of them". I really have to know how much in the way of actual pet care she can accomplish. Can Amber stoop down to clean the litter box? Can she walk a dog? Can she walk? Nevermind that I bet she's still leaving out giant bowls of stale food and stagnent water so she just doesn't have to be assed.

Check out Polissas thread. That would be Big AL with more animals in a nutshell
 
I watched ZM’s live only because I wanted to see the kittens (I’ll sit through anything for kittens). Not enough kittens, too much Amber.

Amber’s woe is me about never being able to have a daughter made me want to punch her in the face. It’s all your fault, Amber. You are the one who put yourself into your situation. And just as well, if she had a boy, she’d have one of those “late term” abortions she believes is a thing.
 
Amber’s woe is me about never being able to have a daughter made me want to punch her in the face. It’s all your fault, Amber. You are the one who put yourself into your situation. And just as well, if she had a boy, she’d have one of those “late term” abortions she believes is a thing.
2 or 3 years ago, for new year, she posted a video where she provided a list of 128 reasons to lose weight. Having a child did not make the list. Wearing jeans and going to an amusement park were more important.
 
I hate her wanting a daughter talk. She does realize you normally can't pick the sex of a child, right? Hell does she even know how babies are made? Amber is def the type of person that would spoil a girl, but treat a boy like shit.

She is such a Dainty Gorl she doesn't even want a pinkie up her period hole, so how would she even get pregnant, even if through ivf, something has to go up there. Then at the end of it something big, and this is Amber, so literally BIG, probably at least a 15 pounder, has to come out. I mean it's dumb for me to even think about it because it would never happen, even before the hysterectomy, it would never be an option for her.

*I just wanted to add some ivf info, my sister went through it, and I couldn't believe the steps she had to go through to be inseminated with her own husbands sperm. They had to do couples therapy and individual therapy, background checks, take parenting classes, etc. Basically had to be approved to get pregnant with their own biological kid. Yet, a 14 year old can have a baby and leave the hospital the next day with it. Not to mention the 100k that they spent doing everything.

Sorry to shit up the thread, I was just shocked what they had to go through to be approved. I guess it doesn't really matter because thank God Amber can never have a child.
 
I hate her wanting a daughter talk. She does realize you normally can't pick the sex of a child, right? Hell does she even know how babies are made? Amber is def the type of person that would spoil a girl, but treat a boy like shit.

She is such a Dainty Gorl she doesn't even want a pinkie up her period hole, so how would she even get pregnant, even if through ivf, something has to go up there. Then at the end of it something big, and this is Amber, so literally BIG, probably at least a 15 pounder, has to come out. I mean it's dumb for me to even think about it because it would never happen, even before the hysterectomy, it would never be an option for her.

*I just wanted to add some ivf info, my sister went through it, and I couldn't believe the steps she had to go through to be inseminated with her own husbands sperm. They had to do couples therapy and individual therapy, background checks, take parenting classes, etc. Basically had to be approved to get pregnant with their own biological kid. Yet, a 14 year old can have a baby and leave the hospital the next day with it. Not to mention the 100k that they spent doing everything.

Sorry to shit up the thread, I was just shocked what they had to go through to be approved. I guess it doesn't really matter because thank God Amber can never have a child.
HamBUTT having a child would go PRECISELY the way it went with her useless POS "parents":

* Fass fud over (insert thing here)
* Persistent, consistent neglect. Probably a Pop Tart drawer involved like Cecily and her feral fatass.
* Muh mentalzz anytime she RUHLLLIZZES she has to parent (show up at school, take responsibility, etc.)
* Uses the child as another defacto DRS in-home caregiver. Would even attempt to make it official for the check.
* Emotionally unavailable, but they DAMN WELL BETTER be Johnny-on-the-spot for mom's mentalzz.
* Disappears/missing. Child moves out. Child gets Insta and a Youtube.
* SUDDENLY--and inexplicably... Mom NAOW is sooooo PROAWWWD of her child. Is there for the camera and SOOPERchatzz.

I guess I'm saying Amber is EXACTLY the same cold wet turds her "parents" are: PARASITES, predators, and general useless leeches.

Show. Your. Feet. and especially your TOES. Fat Albert.
 
Amber is def the type of person that would spoil a girl, but treat a boy like shit.
I can definitely see Amber living vicariously through her daughter to the point where it's emotionally abusive. She said it herself: she wants to have a daughter so that she can give her all of the things that she never got as a child (translated from Amber's sweet-talk, she wants another life to control as a way to give herself a second chance). This theoretical daughter would never be able to make a decision for herself. If she tried to, she would be guilt-tripped until she gave in to what Amber wanted. The poor girl would never know privacy, and any sort of "love" she received from Amber would always be followed by a request.

Contrarily, if Amber had a son, I believe she would treat him well. We all know that she craves male attention. Narcissistic mothers tend to love their sons and hate their daughters.
 
I don’t think Twinkie is wearing a harness? But Amber is fucking stupid. They make those sweaters with slits in the back so you can use a leash and collar. You can see the hole here (between the shoulder blades)....
Oh, my bad. It wasn't a harness. Never seen those doggy coats up close to know about the leash hole. Thanks. I've only dealt with cats. And trying to put a sweater on most cats is essentially declaring to the universe that you no longer wish to have fingers.

============

Today is Vlogmas day 7, or December 6th in the Amberverse. This is filler, with the exception of a few ridiculous statements. Did you know that Amber has tried to eat Vicks VapoRub?


-- VLOGMAS 2022 --

Location: Hurpling through the living room.
Lighting has been horrendous on her camera, but she thinks she's fixed it. She's not a camera gorl. Horrendous lighting is fixed by fixing the LIGHTING, not the camera. In fact, if you go to GoodWill, you might be able to pick up a slightly used Ring Light which would help your lighting situation. Amber has been enjoying doing her makeup lately. Amber asks why must you do makeup to be presentable? When Amber used to have a normal job, she ALWAYS did her makeup [and hid in the bathroom instead of working until her supervisor had to walk around looking for her]. Amber's trying now. Honestly, I don't care either way. That being said, I find it funny about how she claims that she wasn't into makeup, yet had an entire fish bowl full of lipsticks, as well as excess with every other type of makeup.

Location: Standing in the Kitchen.
PACKAGE UNBOXING: It's from 'Woman Within', where she gets her pants. Amber's not wearing pants right now - You're welcome. She needs to buy many at a time because she gets holes in them. Yes, because you buy 2 sizes too small so they are tight, which stretches them thin and makes them easier to rip. Well, that and 'chub-rub' - You're welcome.

Jump Cut!! Here they are. Waaay too long... and way too tight. This is just an excuse for a full length body shot.

Location: Sitting on the couch.
Cuddling with the Chonky-Twonk. The Twonk scales Mount Amber.

Weight loss surgery update: Amber watched the seminar and learned a only bit of stuff - she already knew most of it. The place seems warm and welcoming - here B4 Amber starts claiming that the surgeon was incompetent and wanted her to mainline sodium. She filled out the 'thing', but they haven't emailed her back yet. She wants to document this process in case she does get the surgery, so she can look back at these vlogs. They are ordering 'Jimmy Johns'(?) because they are craving a 'sandwich moment' and don't have anything at home for it. Amber also wants to make her chili. Becky wasn't lying about liking the chili, because Jade likes it too.

Present Time: It's Amber's turn! Amber thinks it's a journal. She opens it and it's a shower ... something. I can't make out what she said, and neither could YouTube Skynet with their autogenerated captions. She's trying to smell it, so I'm guessing it's either some scented hygiene product or it's food. I'd say even money on which it ends up being. Amber is SO SHOCKED because she almost bought Jade the exact same one in blue! OMG! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?! SUCH A CRAZY WORLD WE LIVE IN! - Yeah, I still have no fucking clue what this shit is. Amber says they are shower steamer aromatherapy shower bombs. Cruelty free and vegan. I STILL don't know what this is.

Jade says that Twinkie looks like a blueberry muffin. Well, she does have the roundness. Jade calls Amber out on her pigsty of a couch. Amber replys with 'people live here'.

Amber opens the box. OH - they are smelly little soap pucks! Amber tries to eat one. OMG I was just joking, but now Amber's talking about wanting to eat one as well as wanting to eat Vicks VapoRub. She's tasted it before. I think that a statement like that would be grounds for a psychologist to call the police and have you involuntarily committed for a 72 hour observation. Maybe you need a Snickers, Amber. You know you try to eat the soap when you're hungry.

"You're the beautiful one"... "No, I think *you're* the beautiful one". JUST STOP! NEITHER OF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! Okay!? Can we move on now? What the hell am I watching? Was yesterday a full moon?

Jump Cut: Twinkie with the zoomies, playing with a balled up sock or something. Rarity feels left out and tries to join in, but the kanine energy is too much. She supervises from the 'window seal' instead.

Jump Cut: SAMMICH TIME! Amber got a large sub, BBQ chips, and a large soda. We now get to watch Amber put chips on her sandwich. Yes, Amber, lots of people put chips or fries on their sandwiches. In fact, there's a sandwich called a 'chip butty'. Actually, go check it out, Ambo. I guarantee you'll like it.

Sandwich done. Errand time! Come with us!

Location: EB Games
Need to buy a memory card for her Game Cube so they can play Mario Party. Amber's surprised they don't have memory cards for a 20 year old system. To anyone else who misses and wants to play these old retro games: YouTube search "Batocera".

Location: Tuesday Morning
Looking for a Christmas blanket. None were Amber's style (they didn't have any gaudy, tacky blankets? Weird).

Location: Dollar Tree
Buying stuff to give to the homeless. Talks about her 'actively homeless' family and how she does everything she can for them. Not going to deliver it tonight, because she needs to save the content for another vlogmas episode it's storming really badly. Amber wishes there was more she could do to help. Jade paid for half of this because she's such an amazing person.

Okay, time out. With all of this Jade paying half of everything, it's really making me wonder. Either this is all a lie and shade at Becky, or we have quite possibly found the dumbest girlfriend yet. Any guesses?

Location: Game Exchange.
So, it's storming too badly to drop the items off at the shelter, but not bad enough to keep driving around to find a 20 year old memory card to play a video game. She found a Nyko 128MB card in original packaging.

Location: Sitting on the couch.
"We made it home safe and sound". We figured that out already by the fact that we are watching this video, Captain Obvious. Her car anxiety and storm anxiety said no more driving for tonight (read: Amber got everything she wanted, so no reason to go anywhere else). They are playing Jenga. I thought you wrote naughty things on the blocks? Gee, another LAH. We get to watch another Jenga game, and Amber of course acts like an idiot. Jade calls out Amber's cheating. ARGUMENT CLICKBAIT. Amber makes her face bright red with pretend crying, then immediately laughs. What a bitch. Jade says that breaking up with Amber over Jenga is valid. I'd say breaking up with Amber over ANYTHING is valid.

Amber makes a lot of fat jokes about herself. Cool, so then we can too!

Location: Sitting at her desk.
Cat Advent Calendar: Cute little reindeer head. Rarity likes it.
Play-Doh Advent Calendar: light blue, snowflake mold, and plastic knife. Amber makes a Lovecraftian abomination.

Jump Cut!! We get to watch her responding to comments from her last vlog.

YouTube Random Comment Picker
PunkRockenMomma says "We all have a pimple situation type of deal situation"
Amber says thank you to PunkRockenMomma for the comment situation type deal.

Byee!!!

-- VLOGMAS 2022 --

TL;DR: Amber watched the web seminar and submitted the quiz. Amber contemplates eating soap and admits to tasting VapoRub. Amber buys dollar store toilet paper and socks for the homeless, but doesn't deliver it. Advent Calendars. Cringiest Jenga game ever.
 
Amber doesn't want to have a little girl she wants to be a little girl, and get all the toys and cute kid's clothes.
Perhaps she occasionally wants a kid as a playmate she could bully into playing whatever game she feels like winning that day.

I am so glad she can't actually reproduce.
 
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