A brief note about the last two videos: someone speculated in her comments that the HomeGoods haul was filmed on the 7th based on the date on one of those rugs, and I checked: the outfit matched and she said they were going out. There you have that.
In this version of Rarely Leaving the House, they have "gone" to Target. Since Hamber is filming ahead and fucking with the timeline, it's unclear the date of this video. We will soldier on because that is what we do. What I am positive of, though, is that this is not current, as she doesn't mention The Great Cake Debacle at all. I'm doubtful she ever will because she is who she is.
Grocery haul.
Sparkling water. Cuke & mint for MG,W, coconut pineapple for Hamber because she's "not a cuke mint kinda gal". There's another phrase you could lose, Hamber: "X kinda gal". It's just as insipid as your other crutch phrases.
Good & Gather (one of Target's brands) Jalapeno & cheddar cheese sausage. Once again can't be bothered to give units. "14 protein." 14 WHAT? micrograms? Kilos? 150 calories for one link, and we know she isn't eating just one, she's eating the pack. 9g fat (3g satfat), 780mg sodiumz PER LINK. OK, SwollLynn.
I won't go into a thing about brand names versus store brands/generics, because I think for a lot of items, it doesn't make a difference at all. There are a few things I always buy the brand, because they're just better. That said, though, it's telling that wannabe bougie Hamber is buying store brand stuff these days. It's almost like she has shitty money management skills. Who would have thought the gravy train of 2019 would ever end? Except every one of us as soon as Hamber and the Beckster moved to Lexington? Moving on.
Are you fucking serious? Peeled hardboiled ayygs? Just how goddamned lazy are you two? How can you not just buy ayygs you're allergic to and boil them, you fat, lazy bitch? You know they boil those in tap water, right OCDLynn?
Salted plantain chips which she is excited "to try". WTF are you talking about? We've seen you inhale plantain chips. 150 calories for 13 chips. Who really believes she stops at 13 chips?
Colby Jack "snack bar" cheese. It's fucking CHEESE. Why the FUCK do you need it cut into slabs for you when you do nothing and go nowhere? you just bought a fancy new kitchen scale. Are you completely incapable of slicing a 21g serving off a block of colby? Let's have a little math lesson, shall we?
Good & Gather Colby Jack Snack bar bag: net wt 9oz, 3.19/bag = 35 cents/oz
Good & Gather Colby jack, 32oz block, 8.59/block = 26 cents/oz
just like 523 is larger than 508 in the real world, buying the block and just cutting it is cheaper. Just like how boiling your own goddamned eggs is. JFC, even when she thinks she's being frugal, she sucks at it.
Hamber takes a brief break from the crap she's unpacking and reading the labels of for the first time, as if she ordered it online and had it delivered or did curbside pickup. She tells us that although we haven't seen it (wyh didn't you film it, bitch?), she's been SO BUSY, and she's SO TIRED. Sure. It couldn't have anything to do with you not getting a CPAP, losing wight, or rigorously keeping a sleep schedule. It's because you're so very "busy", SocialButterlyLynn.
Bubble wrap. Melatonin chewies, which apparently she thinks is sleep "medicine". She's definitely seeing this shit for the first time: "MG,W picked these out." Uh huh. She squints like a retard at the back of the package because she refuses to get glasses. "These are....mini peanut butter filled pretzels." They're knockoff Combos, FFS, not some deeply mysterious food item you've never seen before. Stroopwaffels, caramel. For MG,W, again. They go well with coffee. Know what else goes well with coffee? CAKE. Rattles on about how she tried to drink coffee for a few days - yeah, WTF are you trying to drink coffee again? You hated it the first go round with MG,W, so wtf did you think this would be different? "I'm so coffee sensitive, I mean caffeine sensitive." No, you aren't. Coffee does fuck up your sleep schedule. Get a CPAP. Get up at the same time each day and then GO TO BED at the same time each night, instead of watching all the reactor channel when they comment on your shit nontent videos. Stop refreshing the Farms to look at the new posts about you. I bet it kills her that Chantal's thread has been moving at warp speed this past year while her entire subforum got crunched. Delightful. Moving on.
Pistachios. Mac and cheese bites, made with red lentils. I'm sensing a trend here. "Healthier" chicken dog food. "Literally, the only ingredient is chicken." Literally? So you ignore water on ingredient lists like you avoid drinking it? Retard. If you just want to feed the dog chicken, wtf don't you just get actual chicken, boil it, and feed it to her? Just like hardboiled eggs, it ain't rocket science.
last but not least, she says, wax melters. Two of them. We've been over how terrible this is for your animals, you ignorant twat. What happened to that super fancy wax melter you had before? Remember? When people told you exactly the same thing about how these are bad for your animals?
Has to give us a black and white flashback to the previous video of her sty of a living room. Then does the reveal of the "makeover". This is not a makeover, you stupid cunt. You added a rug and table and folded a blanket. Oh, but "this table actually moves!" Wow, that's so novel and groundbreaking! A small table fits under a slighter larger one and you can slide the smaller one out! Amazing! Sigh. Shows the rest of the living room which has nothing in it except two welcome mats in boxes they haven't put out yet for all those visitors constantly streaming in and out of the apartment. No doubt those will still be right there in the middle of the floor in the next few videos because these troglodykes are lazy as fuck.
A solid minute of MG,W telling Hamber how to say cashew. Bitch, you've had cashews on video. We know you can pronounce it. This is just so utterly stupid. But hey, 60 more seconds added to the clock. MG,W probably hates your uptalking as much as I do, fatmouth. Moving on.
A few seconds of some stupid blue light. Don't care. Abrupt cut to Hamber yanking the freezer door open. Something falls. Looks like one of those Yasso bars. Remember when she emptied the freezer of all the snackie things and then went right back to buying them? Way to waste that food, Hamber, you sure showed it who's boss. She pushes the bar back in place, and drags out two cans of the water she put in there to get them cold. Hamber and MG,W then proceed to annoy the fuck out of me by constantly calling each water a "she". MG,W says hers smells bad, but Hamber is all over hers, declaring that it makes her feel she is "at Hawaii." How? how the fuck do you not know "in" for this? Are you hovering over the islands or something? You got the Michelin Man parade balloon thing going, so I guess that would be accurate. No, just fuck you, GrammarLynn.
Side note: there's a bag of Sonic ice in the freezer. You know that's made with municipal water, right Hamber? The same water from your tap? Yep, sure is. So are all those sparkling water drinks that you're not supposed to be drinking.
Hamber reads the ingredients that are in the water. Sparkling water, natural flavors. Master Research and Knower of Things Hamber proceeds to tell MG,W that the natural flavors are the liquids from the ass of otters, and that when you see natural flavors on a label, it's butt juice from otters. One, it's beavers, not otters, you fucking retard. Two, we don't use ass juice to flavor things any longer. There are, in fact, a huge number of things used to get natural flavors. Or do you think that a beaver's ass sac has all the flavors that exist? Goddamn, you're stupid.
MR&KOT Hamber then tries to educate MG,W some more, and tells her that all the red colored things are made from crushed beetles. No, they are not. Red coloring is made, just like natural flavors, from a wide variety of things. If you want to get upset about red, you should look at the really bad reds. "We're living a lie." Hamber says, trying to be serious. No, YOU are living a lie because that is what you do. G,W says she'll have to look into it, and SmugLynn, rather hilariously says "It's all true. I already did that for you."
Cuts to another scene, she is of course back on her ass, and because she's a narc and will continue to dog something until others give up or give in to her superior 140IQ intellect, tells MG,W to look at the text sent. She also flashes it up on the screen, and the first couple sentences from Wikipedia (of course) about castoreum, which is the beaver ass juice, and how it's used in consumer products. She's that person who reads a headline but not the article attached to it, which then states that it isn't really used in food anymore. I'd guess that'd be since we don't trap and trade beavers like we used to, intact ass sac or not, and there are other ways to make all those natural flavors you love. It'd take a large number of beaver ass sacs to make enough flavoring just for you, since you're clearly gaining and ignoring the imaginary dietitian's eating plan for you. Sparkling waters, lots of snacks. Really on track there.
Next day. She "forgot" to film an outro and godddammit, Hamber, this is your fucking JOB. It's the next day, and if she "looks like [she's] in a rush, it's because [she] is" because she's meeting the surgeon. Sure you are. Are you going to WASH YOUR GREASY, NASTY HAIR, BITCH?
Says she will be filming another video after this one, because today is the day she's meeting the surgeon. And we'll all have to tune in to that video, because she's made this one long enough to stuff ads in, so more nontent will have to be done separately.
Instead, does PO box crap. Letters and pitchers from people in their before and after from losing weight, and I bet that steams this bitch so much, haha. Seems like other people are "doing the damn thing" better than you are, Ham. But it isn't that big a deal, since you don't really want WLS anyway, and even if you did, you're gonna go broke continually spending every dime in that bank account of yours and can't afford it.
And that's that.
