Hamber's really trying this 3/4 frame angle. Newflash, Hamlard: you're still huge and fill the full frame, and you're still without a legit tripod that would allow us out of the hellscape that is an upward angle to your multiple chins.
Right out of the gate, we begin with an Amazon haul. It wouldn't be a day ending in Y if Hamber wasn't indulging in her rampant consumerism. So what garbage did you get today to add to the hoard?
Amazon Essentials flats, because those expensive Torrid walking shoes probably don't fit anyway. These won't fit properly, either, as they are not nearly wide enough to hold her dainty balloon hooves.
Yet another maxi dress. I must say, I am quite enjoying the stepdown she's being forced to do. How long has it been since she's ordered from Torrid? However long it's been, I hope it continues until this bitch is forced to get her circus tents from Omar's.
She's a fidgety corky gorl, guise. But although she already has multiple gadgets of some kind, she just had to get one she saw on TikTok where you have to pop bubbles and I don't even care. Next.
"I write a lot of notes throughout the day." For what? To whom? You don't go anywhere or do anything. You don't see anyone except MG,W. You have no hobbies, interests, and don't read books deeply enough or do reviews of them that you would need to take notes. I'm convinced she saw these on TikTok or YT or IG or whatever other social media places she hangs out all day every day. NoteBrick. Oh, because the thing looks like a Lego block. How very....creative. How's that try-POP-phobia going, LiarLynn?
Coasters. Finally, a sensible thing. Except she calls them "marble" coasters. Either she's stupid - marble does not absorb, you fucking idiot, that's why it's used for counters - or lying, or, as usual, BOLTH. Those are ceramic and cork with a marble faux top, and they are 17.99 US on Amazon. It "goes with our ess-tetic."
Yet another ice mold. This one makes smaller balls than the other one they have that she was so amazed over. How much goddamned ice do you need? You drink straight from cans and bottles.
That's it. Gonna go ahead and guess other shit is in the pile of "viewer mail from the PO".
She's meeting the surgeon today and is so nervous, her stomach hurts so bad. It's BADLY, GrammarLynn. Why would meeting with a surgeon make you so very nervous if you're the one who wanted to meet with them?
We just have to stop and look at the goddamned living room. Again. You put a rug down and got a table. This is not life-altering stuff.
Wasabi sighting! At least we know he was alive whenever this video was shot.
Going to the car. The cherry backpack that looks like a postage stamp when she's wearing it is coming along for the ride. Nauseating downward angle of swaying back and forth, watching her feet come into view then disappear under her gunt step by step.
Card: 7 hours later. "Later that day" would be better, WriterLynn.
Oh my fucking god. She's in the bathroom, folding towels. She's "about to get in the shower" and are you seriously telling me you went TO the doctor with that oil slick you call hair unwashed? This makes me want to gag, in the literal sense. How horrific her hair must have smelled. Eau de Jamon Pourrie. Thought you said you think people should be "put together" if they're going to an appointment, Hamber. hat includes WASHING YOUR NASTY GREASY HAIR, BITCH.
Brushing hair talk. Don't care. Cut your fucking hair and wash it.
I have not watched this video except for finding the spot in it with the scale. I've also not yet read any reaps/info about it, watched any reactions, or anything else, because even though I know Hamber's shit is boring and predictable, I like that nice, fresh boring and predictable. That said....
She seems, at this part of the video, to be firmly in her "this doctor has that new car smell" phase, where the initial appointment was "incredible" and she's "pumped". But first, we have to wait for her to take a goddamned shower and wash that grease pit on her hair.
Cut to Hamber sitting (as usual), hair wrapped in a towel. All right, we have your normal ambience, get on with it.
Hamber practicing for some imaginary job she'll have to get if she ever loses weight by giving up bullet points about the meeting.
Oh, FFS. "Something has happened" but naturally, she is not going to tell us about it. Because she doesn't want to tell us later and then have us say she lied. You know what's easier than having people think you're lying? NOT LYING. Get on with it, goddamn.
Does she know any ANY word means? "Something" going on, then not telling people what it is, is NOT "transparent". Where's my Tylenol?
1. Gallbladder. She assumed that every fat fuck who has WLS has their gallbladder removed at that time. Guess you didn't do any "research" on that, eh? Doc says: maybe, maybe not we'll remove it. Orders ultrasound. Good luck to the poor tech who has to try to get through this whale's fat for an image.
2. Surgery timeline: Doc called the "whole twelve months to get surgery" thing "crazy". He said it was a recommendation, and Hamber says that recommendation is part of the "something" she isn't telling us. She knows it's confusing, and to trust her. Uh, no. If I doused myself in gasoline and lit a match, I wouldn't trust you to tell me I was on fire, LiarLynn.
OK, wait a minute. Now, the story is that the surgeon wanted to see her, and he wanted to get a second opinion? What? One, this makes no sense at all, and two, why the fuck would a surgeon want a "second opinion" from all the other pieces of this? Two, those other people - including the dietitian - are presumably people either the surgeon employs or has a close working relationship with, and they would rely on those people to give their professional opinions in their areas of expertise. WTF would they get a "second opinion" to overrule the people who already perform these duties?
Goes on to say that's why they said 12 therapy sessions instead, to work on her view of food, etc., whatever, and that if she "improved", she could get WLS in 3-4 months.
Either she's lying out her shelf ass, or this is a new WLS. Or BOLTH.
3. What surgery she's getting: She wanted gastric bypass, based on her extensive "research", the classes she's gone to (what were those, Hamber? The imaginary ones where you thought watching videos of doctors talking about it made them "classes?"), the seminar eck-setra, ek-setra.. Doc said "Ha! No." And said SADI. She was "so happy" (i.e., seething inside) when he said this. She has "quite a few friends" - well known "friends" from tv shows, EliteLynn adds - who have received that surgery and lost a bunch of weight. Newsflash: they're not your friend, retard, just because they're on tv and all the social media you consume every day. Doc says: by getting this, you will lose a lot of weight, if you follow plan and do what you're supposed to do. So she would inevitably gain if she ever got this type of WLS. Interestingly, this one specifically mentions beetus control. Wonder if that mystery "something" is Hammber finally owning up to having the beetus.
Hamber tells us the doc says her BMI could be below 30 and that when he did (here she does her idiotic pause she thinks is dramatic, and looks up to the ceiling) she laughed. That has the same energy of when the first WLS in the Becky era said if she didn't lose weight, she would die ad se clapped because no doctor had ever mentioned she was a giant fatass. Too bad you fucked up your body so much, Hamber. Loose skin, the *demas? BMI of 30 ain't you.
Hamber says she isn't as "educated" about this method, so she has to do "research", and that she isn't going to talk about it right now because she doesn't want to give facts that are inaccurate. Facts, by definition, are true statements, dumbass.
Definitely a new doctor. She's "putting her life into his hands" and she "completely trusts him." Every single time, she says this. Then the doc inevitably shoots down some stupid idea that popped into her head, and she moves on, tossing the doc under the bus on the way out.
4. Weigh-in: Claims to have been doing everything they've told her to do. No, you haven't. Says she was going through IG Q&As and getting people telling her this same thing, because she has clearly gained weight. She does her condescending chuckle and haughtily tells us she filmed the weigh in today, and that when she first started at the place (no date or even timeframe given) she was 533 pounds.
OK, in my spoilery thing upthread, I errantly put 500 as her starting weight for 2023. It was 520, according to her. Did she ever tell us about this 533 number? Of course not. Claims the WLS "doesn't care" about the weight on her scale at home. OK, MensaLynn, let me explain something to you.
No, they're not going to trust the fatties to tell the WLS what they weigh. However. The home scale is definitely of use for tracking weight, even if it doesn't match their scale. If you weigh in at, say, 520 in Jan 2023 on it, that is a data point. If you weigh again, in, say, late Feb 2023 and gives 508, that's a data point. If another weight is taken in mid-April 2023 and says 523, that is a data point. Take together, it means you have a net gain of three pounds this year. It would also mean the original WLS might decide you're not with the program and tell you to go away after four months and a three pound gain, with no effect on vitals or how you breathe. Or maybe you just didn't want to not eat what you wanted there and said seeya. Who knows? But I'd lay money on her quitting the first WLS and doing a little doctor shopping.
Back to her weigh ins at the new WLS. Blathers about having her clothes and earrings on, and we've been through this before, bitch. The goal was to lose one pound. Scale says 528 or 529, depending on the spot you catch in the vid. Doesn't matter: she's basically 530 pounds. Hilariously, when she's guessing what the weight might be, she says 535. Goal: lose one point. Guess: plus two pounds. Tell us again how you're doing "everything" they're telling you, Hamlard, if you're guessing you've gained weight when they wanted you to lose a pound.
And another note here: we have no idea when this clip was taken. Or the picture from her that said 523 on her scale. Or anything. Hamber fucks with the timeline and is a pathological liar. That's all anyone needs to know. Or they could just look at her and see she's been steadily gaining.
She's so fixated on 600 pounds. "See, I'm not 600 pounds, guise!" At a certain point, Hamber, it doesn't fucking matter. You're a disgusting fatbody and at 533 or 600, it's all the same. Says she will physically go to the WLS once a month to weigh in.
Here she just rattles on and on and on, whining that people are not supportive enough of her and they all laugh about how she's not doing the right things, not losing weight and blah blah blah, we've heard it all before.
Claims the surgeon said they are not going to send her home to eat 1200 calories. It's almost as if the first WLS dietitian wanted you to eat 2000-2500 calories a day and that 1200 calories never came into the picture. Yet here you are, saying it yet again. Also claims the WLS said they would not give her a weight loss goal. Really? Then why the big fucking deal over weighing in? Why would they make you come in and get weighed? And you JUST said the "goal" was to lose a pound. It's always slightly breathtaking when se does this talking in circles routine and manages to contradict something she just said.
STOP USING YT AS YOUR VENTING MECHANISM you stupid cunt. Nobody on the internet is responsible for how you feel about anything. No one owes you support or asspats or encouragement or any of these other things you whine about. You are one hundred percent responsible for things on your channel. Don't like reading negative comments? Turn them off. Moderate them. Don't like people asking rude questions? Stop soliciting questions. Don't liken trolling shit in the PO? Ditch the PO. Every one of these things is your responsibility. Every one of these things is under your control.
Hamber says people say she's only getting therapy so she can get WLS. She laughs and says yes, that's how it started. She then goes into her whole "saving my LAHF" act, when we all know she would quit therapy instantly if it weren't required. I think this therapy is about as true as this WLs arc, beause she's claimed to have been in and out of therapy since she was nine, and in all that time, they never discussed her "relationship with food"? Even this last shrink she was supposedly seeing for a year (sure) at the HAES outpatient ever discussed it? You're a terrible liar, Hamber.
She's smiling through all this, and talking about the surgery that could "kill me". That isn't funny, you cunt. Says people are thinking WLS is "materialistic" for her. What?
I must have missed some numbered points, or she took them out in editing, but she is now at 7: The bad vibe around my surgery: again with the materialistic bullshit. Stress is not good for her, you guise! People are not recognizing all the work she's been doeeen!
Once again, you brainless troglodyke, we are not responsible for your feelings, and have zero obligation to just give you asspats and cheers, deserved or not. If it is so fucking stressful for you, then get off the fucking internet. It's no place for pansies, Lynn of the Thick Skin.
Legit LOL molment: claims the doc said "the scale comes second" (she points with one hand to her head, the other to the top of her sternum) "this comes first". Sure he did, Ham. And that isn't where your heart is, dipshit.
8. Weight loss goal, after just telling us that the doc would not give her a weight loss goal: Hamber says she asked for a goal, and is very "goal-oriented". Yet another LOL moment for me. Bitch, you never achieve any goals. Says she expected 20 pounds and they said one pound per week and this is utter horseshit. "They just want to see improvement." You could lose four pounds in a fucking day with an extra large dump. Four pounds off a 530 pound person is NOTHING.
"Even if it's half a pound. Even if it's one pound." Attagirl, do the Hamber letdown number so you can rationalize and excuse it later.
8. Yes, a repeat. Hamber's a fucking retard: Passionate about saving my life. Rehashing the previous shit. So far in this segment, has said passionate three times. Promises she sees her supporters (where, lol?) and she knows hey must be tired of her focusing on haydur nation. Whatever. Passionate. Four times, plus the one on the card. You know what happens when you repeat something a billion times? it loses its effect.
PO: A Kermit from someone named Frank, and guys, she's too stupid to understand that troll. Earrings and a keychain. STOP SENDING HER SHIT.
Q&A:" You are not a celebrity. These are not interviews.
1. Why did you say sizzling muh nizzling? Clearly Hamber does not understand the reference. Maybe she'll learn one say, probably not. Claims we don't know that she's weeeeeird. So corky, you guise!
2. Have you watched any good movies or tv shows lately. Truly deep, probing questions. She's watching Avatar again.
3. Have you ever had Skyline chili? No.
4. Should we elope? DON'T ASK THIS STUPID FUCKING BITCH FOR ADVICE. "Yolo, haha, do it, I'm being completely transparent, I would." I'm sure you would, Hamber, as you have zero friends and your other i probably still on probation, baby bro in jail, dad on the street somewhere in the west. MG,W's family probably wouldn't comes, either, so what fucking difference would it make for you?
Claims they have people coming over - sure - and she has to go.
