"Y'all I swear to you, this apartment hunting situation type deal, is not my favourite thing!"
Uh... hello to you, too. Awww, poor Pookie: all frazzled from having to do something for herself. Not that any one of us could understand her pain. It's not like EVERY SINGLE PERSON has to find housing at some point in their lives.
The person she spoke to was being SO MEAN when answering Amber's questions (because Amber's a cunt who asks dumb questions and speaks to everyone as though they are below her). Apparently, they didn't like that she had 3 pets and that 3 weren't allowed. Wait until they find out that she and the pets ALL HAVE FLEAS!
(You think Amber will dump Wasabi and *pretend* he got out - like Rafe was saying Amber wanted to do with the cats when Amber first met Becky and didn't tell the landlord about the pets?)
There are 3 apartments that she's interested in that allows 3 pets and has the in-unit washer-dryer and an open floor concept (so she doesn't have to worry about getting stuck while trying to pass through unnecessary doorways).
The apartments have to be a modern molment! She doesn't want units built in the 90's, as they aren't her favourite.
Her "Friend" (aka, the potential new gorlfriend that she's trying to hook), talked Amber into weighing in "today" (August 17th): 532.2lbs. Amber films herself in her bra to talk about how excited she is. We'll remember this 'molment' when you start blaming your enevitable weight gain on your 'lymphedema'.
She's so proud that she lost 10 lbs of water weight in 3 days! Hey, remember that time in 2019 when she gained TEN POUNDS IN ONE DAY? Ah, good times...
Oh, and this was despite her eating DAILY TAKEOUT! Amber thinks that eating that particular type of Mediterranean takeout meal (that she was eating in the last video) is finally her 'plan' to lose weight. Awesome (600lbs here we come).
JUMPCUT!! Time to feed the dog. The vet recommends one scoop (which looks like a 1/2 cup) twice per day. Amber fails to mention the vet's recommendation on flea control...
More self-love talk. Do we really need to hear this? Amber says that self-love can be ANYTHING that's good for you OR makes you feel good. I'm pretty sure addicts feel good the 'molment' they slam heroin... is that self-love? Ambo's going on about 'dancing in the shower'. Yeah, try it you dumbfuck. Enjoy your shattered hip and an entire EMS crew plus 2 fire crews trying to unwedge your slippery baluga body out from inside the bathtub. Ambo's lost maybe 2 fat pounds total (still weighing WAY over 500lbs) and is suddenly this self-improvement expert. Amber loves who she is. [SKIP]
JUMPCUT!! Back on the couch. More apartment hunting talk and frustration at playing 'phone tag'. You know, either she's got NO CONTENT whatsoever, or she spent too long thinking that Jade would take her back and is now realizing that she needs to get out soon. Maybe bolth.
"Your gorl is about to put in an application.... sometimes I like, feel like I'm maybe in a state of shock, and then it will hit me, and then the emotions will come, I don't know". No, you're just used to PRETENDING to be a basketcase around your gorlfriends for the stupidest of things. There are no intense emotions, because these events don't warrant intense emotions. You're looking for a new apartment unit to rent - you aren't rescuing someone from a burning building or pinned down in a shootout or anything like that.
I glanced down to read her video title for the first time, and just noticed we still have to 'cook with her' *shudder*.
JUMPCUT!! Pyrex dish full of meatballs. I take it all back! Go back to being proud about harrassing building managers about the rules of their apartments! AUUGH!! She's brought out the mustard!
JUMPCUT!! Thank GOD no mustard-tok today! It's the next day and Amber's wearing purple. She can't remember if she wore purple yesterday. Just look at the shirt you slept in and then threw on the floor this morning, Ambo. Amber does a hair and makeup before and after.
Phone and camera footage comparison and complaints [SKIP]
JUMPCUT!! Onion, broccoli, and kielbasa time - hacked up with a giant knife that JUST MISSES her fingers. "Everyone cuts differently folks, so just be nice. It'll be okay, I promise". What a cunt. I swear to fucking GOD I will make a sparkly gif of her if she gets herself with that knife.
Moving update: she's 'pretty sure' she has the exact date she's moving.
TRANSLATION: she hasn't given notice yet, and she's holding out until the last minute in case she can bully Jade back or find someone to move in to her current apartment.
"...Humans are walking hypocrites..." No, just narcs like you.
JUMPCUT!! Watching Amber swirl the food around in a pan... on a burner that's set to MAX.
Amber has so much crap from her PO Box that she still hasn't opened, so she's going to spread it out through all of her videos to drag out the suffering. I bet Amber's the type to peel bandaids off of children REALLY SLOWLY.
Amber pretends this massive dish will yield leftovers.
JUMPCUT!! On the couch and eating. She's an "onion girlie". Amber says if you love onions, you'll love this meal of hers - NO ONE WILL LOVE IT.
Amber's trying again to fix her sleep schedule. (Next week she'll say she fixed it, then within another month she'll be back to usual).
Amber's claiming that she quit soda on August 14th as well - which has been the 5th or so time that she's quit soda in the last year.
JUMPCUT!! Sorting through her hideous, cheap, department store generic Christmas and Halloween decorat--
--WHOA WHOA WHOA! Check out the book shelf! 'Statistics for Dummies'?! Whose book is THAT, Amber?! 'Security+'? 'Network+'? (those must be part of the CompTIA+ stuff), 'The Linux Command Line' - hey, I have that one! (digital copy from pdfroom or oceanofpdf - get your free copy today!) All of your basic 101 computer starter books. HAHAHAHA, more proof that "Feline" was ALWAYS JADE FRANCIS OF NEW YORK, IT/OPSEC GURU WHO GOT DOXXED BY 140 IQ AMBER! Oh, that's just too good!! I'm still laughing! ... Shut up, Amber! NO ONE CARES about your fugly 'ordamints'!
FREEZE FRAME!!
(da bookz!)
More talk about phone vs camera. Amber's no longer a Halloween decor 'girlie' (because Becky/Jade's gone, and that's who she was mirroring for all of this time).
JUMPCUT!! Amber's getting rid of Jade's painted pumpkin. lipstick talk (don't care) [SKIP]
JUMPCUT!! Super late at night. MORE camera vs phone talk. Birthday shoutout to 'Sasha'. This doesn't count as a cameo, bitch!
