Anyone who has dealt with someone with NPD is familiar with this kind of "apology."
Amber: "I didn't notice how mean or rude
I could come across, and I'm just like so remorseful."
Translation: "I wasn't mean or rude. But I guess I come across that way to people. I'm not remorseful at all because there's nothing wrong with me or my behavior. I'm only "remorseful" (wrong use of word) because I feel bad when other people think I did something wrong. But I didn't."
Amber: "I genuinely thought they wanted to be on camera and they were okay with being on camera." "I didn't know that the zoning out or the look on their face was an indication that they weren't listening to me or they didn't want to be on camera. That was NEWS to me."
Translation: "None of this is my fault. It's Becky's fault."
Amber: "Knowing that I viewed our relationship one way and it wasn't, I genuinely look stupid. Maybe I lowkey deserve it."
Translation: "This is a pity play. I don't actually believe I'm stupid. I'm not abusive or rude, but if people are going to think that I am, I'd rather them think I'm something that has a lighter blow to my ego: that I'm just dumb."
Amber: "Knowing that we viewed our relationship so different makes it easier for me to be accountable and apologize.
IF THAT'S THE WAY THEY VIEWED IT, then I deeply apologize. There's nothing I can do to change their thoughts and their experiences..."
Translation: "I'm sorry YOU FEEL THAT WAY. I'm not sorry for anything I did."
Amber: "It's been hard for me because I have shown growth in my personal life. It's hard to like show growth publicly when these are things that have been happening behind the scenes. Publicly, I might look the same to you guys. But I have changed a lot."
Translation: Me me me me. This is hard on ME. Even though I did nothing wrong, I've improved and am a better person. What did I improve on? Nothing. I just want you to excuse everything I've done since 5 seconds ago because I'm a completely different person now. I've used this excuse for the past 10 years and in my head I imagine people believing it, so I'll continue to use it. I'm a good person now and I'm not mean or rude. Even though I wasn't mean or rude in the past.
Amber: "Anytime that I had Beck on my channel, it was never out of malice. I never meant to disrespect them. I really, really, really did love them. This might be a little tea because no one knows. When Beck and I were only friends and I was with Faline. Faline knows this, don't worry, one night I got really really drunk and I told Beck "I really was in love with you and I still love you. You're a really great person." And I hyped them up."
Translation: I can destroy Becky publicly. I am free to say the nastiest shit to her face in our livestreams and people won't remember. How I told her I never loved her on live. I bragged how much more in love I was with Jade and rubbed it in Becky's face. I told Becky she should feel like shit. I can give her nasty looks, laugh and tell her that anyone who says Becky is attractive is a LAH on live. I can laugh at her for only having $100 to move. I can make snarky remarks about her for YEARS publicly. But it's okay. Because I said "you're a great person" in private once. I'm waiting for my applause on what a good person I am and how this excuses everything I've done.
Amber: "The only thing I can do is continue working on myself."
Translation: Me me me me. I did nothing wrong, but look, I'm improving! How? *crickets*
Amber: "I do find frustrations in how I feel like they are exaggerating or that THEY HAVE LIED." "If I'm remembering something wrong that Beck genuinely remembers as a full truth then that's fair as well because I have really bad memory problems due to moments of high stress, trauma, BPD, when I have anxiety I literally black out."
Translation: Becky is a LAH. But if Becky comes back with receipts then, I'm still not lying. It's not my fault because... OW, MY
BEEPEEDEEEEEEE
!!!!! It's
still not my fault!! Because I have
TRAUMA.
Amber: "As I've become older, more mature, I've learned more about my BEEPEEDEE, and just who I am as a person. I have become a better person. I have become a better girlfriend. I've become a better friend. I've become a better pet parent. I've become a better daughter. I've become a better sister."
Translation: Really weird bragging session at the very end as she narcissistically puffs herself up about what a great person she is in every area of her life. She couldn't stand even saying "I'm sorry YOU FEEL THAT WAY" because it hurt her ego so much to do it. She now has to hype herself up and console herself about what a wonderful, grand person she is at the end of this "apology" video. Psychotic behavior.
