Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Barbarella]

"you're a shallow heart" classic writing there, amber

Yeah, that's why it's so obvious that book is hers. Instead of saying "You have a shallow heart" (which still wouldn't make much sense), she says they ARE a shallow heart. How to make a sentence sound literal vs figurative isn't something Amber can do. Not to mention the bizarre twisted phasing (tongues dancing?) and the complete and utter lack of punctuation. She couldn't use a comma right with a gun to her head. I'd recognize her word salad anywhere.

Her mother had cancer. She should now understand the difference between a disease that can strike any one, at any time, for no reason and in which to prevent death, you go through some horrendous treatment-and obesity, in which you overeat.

A cancer patient puts themselves through literal torture to survive-cutting off body parts, poisoning themselves, and they are inspirational because no matter how hard it is, they keep going, for the end goal of living.

You Amber, just eat. No inspiration there, except in a what not to do way.

Shaking my head. She's fucking delusional.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Maffs per our Waddling Calculator:-

89 = almost 100
489 = deffo NOT almost 500. Nearer 475, in fact.

We're just eejits who don't know how to round up/down properly. Cos we haz the dumb. Of course we don't understand the set and logic of a genius mind; we're far too stupid to grasp these lofty concepts.

It's a real shame. The world of higher mathematics truly lost out....but at least their loss was the literary world's gain. When someone is that good at everything, sacrifices must be made.

(Soz if this is late - internet's glitchy, thread not fully loading)

 

[KicDaKitty]

Could be taking inspiration from one of her favorite role models- Trisha Paytas, who constantly talks about her past as a stripper and escort.

Speaking of role models, not sure if this has been shared yet here

Because self-inflicted morbid obesity from a self-proclaimed food addiction is just like cancer. The difference, AL, is that a cancer patient has cancer regardless of their life choices (some exceptions but irrelevant here), you are morbidly obese because of your own life choices. You don't need chemo, you just need to stop eating. You've had every chance to become a healthy person and you've scoffed at the idea while scarfing down more baked potatoes and hot cheetos. What are people supposed to see you as a role model for? Losing weight? Maintaining genuine friendships and relationships? Having a job and contributing positively to society? You've never managed to do any of those things. The only was you inspire people is by being the opposite of a role model. You're a brilliant display of all the traits and characteristics people should strive to eliminate from themselves- lazy, greedy, selfish, narcissistic, and extremely unhygienic.

Oh I love it, comparing herself to a cancer patient. What an intolerable twat.

I can honestly say that if I was to ever lay eyes on Amber in public I'd punch her square in the nose. Of course she would sue me for assault so I'd also run after doing it, because come on, we know no one in her group of winners will be able to chase me. At this point I feel like the only thing that will get through to her is being disciplined like a misbehaving toddler. A giant, over eating, pathological lying, animal abusing toddler.

 

[Clown Baby]

Her use of "smelt" instead of "smelled" is another thing that gives her away as the writer of that fic. I can't bring myself to read the whole thing but based on what I have read, Lana Del Rey is her (amber as Blake lively) ex girlfriend?

 

[SpokesBottom]

I dunno, sad, bitter stripper is a pretty common role for basic bitch writers ro use. Especially in a romance novel where she wants to lazily give readers the impression that her chatacter is ~sexy and deep~.

I would say it's more likely that she fantasizes about having the body fpr exotic dancing while simultaneously having a narrow-minded view of the profession.

I don't exactly remember what blog it was, but I think I distinctly remember Amber implying her and Destiny's other roommate was a stripper. I think it was in one of her "what's in my purse" videos with the pink stripped shirt.

So if that's true she might've got it from her. Or just another romantization from her novels. Because every sex worker obviously thinks it's dirty and humiliating and is being held there against their will, right? Especially our Amber. She's too pure for that life

 

[Clown Baby]

Big Gurl had to get her food talk in there too.

View attachment 269871

So in her wildest fantasy she's Blake Lively but she still has to give people free cold cuts to impress them? Lmao all this shit is amazing, thanks @honeybooboochild you're a hero for discovering it. She must be so angry and embarrassed right now.

 

[formerfatcow]

It really bothers me how all of the characters feel the need to introduce themselves to everyone. Like when Blake (Amber) gets to the hospital to see Lana, she tells the receptionist "I'm Blake Lively." Like there's just groups of A-list female celebrities that walk around being creepy lesbians together and touching vaginas together and no one ever recognizes them for who they are? Sure, maybe some people would just brush off a lone Blake Lively on the street as a strangely convincing doppelgänger, but when she's signing into the hospital to meet Lana Del Rey I think it's safe to say she's actually Blake Lively. It's just so unrealistic, on top of the awful sexual scenes.

Also I didn't read all of it, but briefly read that Lana loses her memory and can't remember anyone but Blake (Amber). Gonna go out on a limb and say however she loses her memory, and her actually having lost her memory, has no basis in real science and consists of how Amber believes amnesia works, from what she's seen on TV and movies. Amnesia normally prevents the formation of new memories, not the retrevial of old ones. Even so, when people get gaps in the memories they have made (like with dementia), they very rarely only remember one person. They may only remember people from their childhood, or the remember their wife and kids but not grandchildren. No one ever really loses all but one memory. That's just not how memory recall works.

If you're going to spend 20+ chapters writing shitty erotica, at least make the science behind the plot accurate.

 

[Can I get an Amen?]

It's fun to look back on all the "challenges" she's attempted and then utterly failed at. This is just one of many.
She goes on and on about the benefits of whatever she's going to do and then just gives up after a day or two.

This is so typical. This is a great example of her "manic phase". This is exactly how she sounds starting WW or counting calories. She talks fast and her devotees get excited right along with her. Within a few days the mania subsides, the excuses start and that's all folks!!
She's a constant roller coaster.

 

[SpokesBottom]

This is so typical. This is a great example of her "manic phase". This is exactly how she sounds starting WW or counting calories. She talks fast and her devotees get excited right along with her. Within a few days the mania subsides, the excuses start and that's all folks!!
She's a constant roller coaster.

It's also funny because I think I remember in one of her New Years resolutions videos, she mentions not wanting to share some of them outloud because she doesn't want to give her hopes up

Yet she shared all the ones she's already failed for the year

 

[Tazz]

Everything Rafe said in the super secret fb group is what she said in her younow except for the cats. That's all you have? I am all for new tea but those screenshots arent piping hot.

I do enjoy the new writing find for amber.

Hi amber, you cant see the avalanche that's coming for you when Becky and the gang dumps you? Eric and Rafe have the stage set up to put it on blast. You better start buying them hundreds of dollar store gifts and give it to them early, because I dont see you ringing in the new year with them.

 

[Clown Baby]

It really bothers me how all of the characters feel the need to introduce themselves to everyone. Like when Blake (Amber) gets to the hospital to see Lana, she tells the receptionist "I'm Blake Lively." Like there's just groups of A-list female celebrities that walk around being creepy lesbians together and touching vaginas together and no one ever recognizes them for who they are? Sure, maybe some people would just brush off a lone Blake Lively on the street as a strangely convincing doppelgänger, but when she's signing into the hospital to meet Lana Del Rey I think it's safe to say she's actually Blake Lively. It's just so unrealistic, on top of the awful sexual scenes.

Also I didn't read all of it, but briefly read that Lana loses her memory and can't remember anyone but Blake (Amber). Gonna go out on a limb and say however she loses her memory, and her actually having lost her memory, has no basis in real science and consists of how Amber believes amnesia works, from what she's seen on TV and movies. Amnesia normally prevents the formation of new memories, not the retrevial of old ones. Even so, when people get gaps in the memories they have made (like with dementia), they very rarely only remember one person. They may only remember people from their childhood, or the remember their wife and kids but not grandchildren. No one ever really loses all but one memory. That's just not how memory recall works.

If you're going to spend 20+ chapters writing shitty erotica, at least make the science behind the plot accurate.

That bugged me too, "hi I'm Blake lively." Any fanfiction where the author is writing about an actual celebrity is especially cringy. I understand how someone can watch a tv show with established characters and want to write something about them, but writing a story that tries to capture the real personality of a public figure is so strange.

I read the chapter where she goes to see Lana in the hospital and the way she writes about NYC is hilarious too. "Some people play music for coin in the subway," like she heard that somewhere and that's all she knows about ny.

 

[formerfatcow]

This is so typical. This is a great example of her "manic phase". This is exactly how she sounds starting WW or counting calories. She talks fast and her devotees get excited right along with her. Within a few days the mania subsides, the excuses start and that's all folks!!
She's a constant roller coaster.

I love playing armchair psychologist as much as the next Kiwi, but I genuinely don't think this is even mania. It's a cry for attention. AL knows she'll get praise just for claiming she's making life changes, regardless of whether or not she follows through. I don't think she ever intends to stick to her diets, or at least that she doesn't believe she'll actually be able to. She makes the claim so she can get asspats, and then she continues to do what she always does. At this point, she has a large enough audience that she still gets a handful of people who will praise these false claims whenever they're made, and that's why she makes them. If we're craving an armchair diagnosis, AL displays signs of a personality disorder, along the lines of narcissistic personality or histrionic personality, more than anything.

 

[cruelsound]

Those of you who made it through more than one chapter of that garbage are the real heroes.

 

[Rotogravure]

First post on page 505

You know, it just dawned on me because I watched (some of) the HOW I MET MY GIRLFRIEND video where AL talks at extreme length about how she and Destiny met that in that video AL mentions Destiny's horrible terrible (soon to be ex) girlfriend was using Destiny's pictures to catfish people on the dating app they met on (Who's Here, I think) and that Destiny then blah blah blah got the passwords and blah blah checking the info...

And here we have Destiny being used to catfish again, with a name AL likes for cats. WEIRD.

 

[Tazz]

Imo density was on there looking to cheat on her fiance, but in ambers world at the time she didnt want to admit that density was a cheater. Amber probably wants Dana to think density is on the hunt for someone new except amber is creative as a roach.

 

[KicDaKitty]

So in her wildest fantasy she's Blake Lively but she still has to give people free cold cuts to impress them? Lmao all this shit is amazing, thanks @honeybooboochild you're a hero for discovering it. She must be so angry and embarrassed right now.

Oh she's embarrassed. Remember when she read some of her "poetry" on younow?

She is hiding out right now due to pure embarrassment. She says it isn't her writing but the minute it's posted here it gets deleted.
She's mortified and I love it.

 

[Clown Baby]

Guys, I can't get over the stiff and unrealistic sex scenes in that fic. I get that she's giant and probably can't :islamic:69:islamic: or scissor or anything, but come on. 4 long-term girlfriends and you don't know anything beyond fingering and silk blindfolds? I think that's why she so easily tossed out that rape allegation, she has no idea what sex really is. "My girlfriend ignoring me is rape, right?"

 

[Tazz]

Ignoring = emotional rape
Emotional rape = rape

She is completely out of her mind.

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

Amber's words about the rape: "You're going to touch me whether you like it or not"

Picturing AL compalining and whining with an arm extended and her face turned away, being "forced" to flick it even though her pooor wittle sausage fingers is tioooorrrddd.

 

[GORL]

So, since Amber is obviously Blake in this story... and she starts off as an exotic dancer who doesn't really want to be in that line of work, but must for survival... I'm wondering if she's pulling that from her own life, confirming her work as a cam girl on a feeder site? We've all speculated she's doing that... and the line where she says her line of work isn't a big deal, but admits she may be lying to herself about that feels sort of authentic to me? Maybe?

Or I'm just putting way too much thought into it.

I believe Destiny and Amber's old roommate (Libby's sister) was a stripper. Perhaps Amber pulled from that for her "book."

Ooopsie, sorry, someone beat me to it! Derp!