What quality content will we get?
None. Since she just imitates the personality of whoever she's around, that tells me that Jade is fucking boring, or is when she's shacking up under Big Al's roof, anyhow.
It always boggles my brain whenever Amber buys clothes. You know when you have a particularly bulky sweater or something that just takes up so much space in a drawer that nothing else will fit. Now imagine that sweater in 6XL. Where does she keep everything? The sheer quantity of material in her knickers alone would make storing any more than a half dozen pairs in a drawer impossible. Then add in the fact we know Amber is a hoarder (we’ve seen her earring collection) it makes me believe that behind the camera in every room is an enormous, teetering cloth mountain, barely supported by piles of journals and unused handbags.
When we've seen laundry days, it seems Big Al keeps most of it on hangers - remember she had taken over one of what would normally be a communal closet at Eric & Ricky's, and had one of those rolling wardrobe hangers as well. So, underwear she never wears, socks, etc.: in the dresser.
Whilst I’m onboard with the horizontal stripes on fatties argument I can’t help but wonder whenever she trots out another haul: just where is it going to GO? Unless she has Narnia closets there must be some mad clutter happening, especially as no Becky around to run stuff over to the off-site storage. And don’t get me started on what can fit into her washing machine, two items and a towel and the thing would be full. These are not small ‘smalls’.
I keep saying this site has some of the best writers on the 'net - Narnia closets. Perfect.
This was the era of exploding belly buttons, being felled by baby soft feet slipping on kibble and a frightened Becky contemplating calling an amberlance to help hoist her aloft -all of which I will remind you happen to skinny people too!- and at least one cellulitis incident in my memory. And those were things she wasn't too embarrassed to reveal. So yeah, she probably had a case of oozing pigfoot.
Again: oozing pigfoot. Where else would you read this turn of phrase?
There's one or 2 last tricks she can try to slow down the losses she's currently suffering. First, one big, spectacular pissy hissy fit; preferably while she's gobbling a massivbe quantity of food
Another problem of hers: she probably wouldn't be able to carry on a crying jag while eating, not for long. The other day I watched a react from MBP where Big Al was shooting in her room (over at Eric & Ricky's). She did her usual "I it looks like I've been crying, it's because I have. We have something going on,blah blah" - I think this was when they were trying to get Beck's runaway diabeetus under control, she had to lower her sodium intake, and so on. BUT! As she continued to talk - and eat - all that woe is me shit went out the window and she happilly ate her big bad f Chinese in her room, on the bed - people might remember this was the time there was no fork in the bag and she made Becky bring her one instead of stirring herself from pillow mountain.
Secondly, a full on, (feigned), mental breakdown full of quivery lipes, blurred, tear smeared makeup & lots of wailing at issues she hints at but doesn't reveal for an episode or two.
Another "I began to question….my existence." situation type deal molment? She tried that once and it didn't go over well. If she tried that shit again, she would be committing suicide for her channel.
Whatever she chooses, she'd better move fast because at this rate, she'll be lucky to be breaking 500k views a month by late spring.
All empires eventually decay. Hers just decays like a beached whale that someone is going to have to dynamite.
Fast forward to current day, captian save a ho shows up saying all the right things to make Amber believe she's head over heels in love and will marry her someday if only she meets her goals. Surely that's reasonable since Jade sacrificed everything and moved to Kentucky for love?
"Captain Save a Ho" LOL
She fucked up though and chose a narc and that will eventuality undue her grift. Amber's narc spirit is breaking.
Jade can't be too bright. We know she watched Big Al's videos before starting the wifey crap. She should have connected the dots to understand Big Al is a master grifter and it would take some real dedication to grift harder than she does. And you surely cannot do that if you vanish and leave the mark alone for days and days at a time.
