Goddamn, you know...it's springtime here. I got shit - OUTDOOR SHIT, Fatty, maybe you should look into it - to do, and you just had to waddle into the fucking spotlight AGAIN just so people can mock you and where the fuck am I?
Allow me to offer some criticism before I bore the socks off everyone with my interminable replies.
"Merch moment" - would have been a perfect opportunity for "Merch molment". Duh.
"Pillow mountain" - stupid fucking choice of font, pillow size, and colors. You might think you're a refined, dainty princess, but your fucking pillows on pillow mountain were dingy, unwashed petri dishes of sweat, dead skin cells, and yeast. You should have made one color: off-white (since no body is going to offer that special color that mixes the previous items I've mentioned and the nasty, caked on makeup you were forever "forgetting" to take off.
"Dainty gorl" - about the only one that makes any fucking sense, but the people who are going to unironically buy your shit primarily are the fatties in the facebook group and the subreddits. But a yoga mat? If those bitches did yoga "on the daily" (hint hint) they wouldn't be fatties, would they? And nobody is paying 60 goddamned dollars plus shipping on a fucking yoga mat on teespring, JFC. Stick to clothing, drink bottles, mugs, bath items, and kitchen shit (handtowels, for instance, if they do them). Edit to add: and if you're going to try to sell a fucking yoga mat, you should also have a water bottle, as well as a bundle with them bo(l)th.
Things to consider: if teespring is like everywhere else, you can create your own art to slap on stiff with whatever text you want to go with it. Go to shutterstock and buy a membership so you can purchase stock art. Don't choose fonts where the intended text can't be fucking read.
"Hello, it's ready." - front
"Goodbye." - back
Think of any choice where you can say x or y or "bolth". Slap it on a shirt.
"It's a whole situation type deal."
"Suckalent" - also good with either stock art or line drawings.
"I got a dietician, y'all" - again, a nice double bacon cheeseburger stock art or line drawing
"Mook-bong" - any picture of a giant pile of food will do
"I know what works for me" - same
"Orange chicken" - with a literal orange chicken (cartoon images work great for this). The only people who would understand the reference are channel viewers or people who keep chickens. (Buff Orpington chickens are orange or tawny and have very even temperaments, FYI.)
"So good" - either alone or with a pile of food
You clearly suck at this merch thing, so steal shamelessly from other peoples' work.
You should have listened to people when they told you to make merch years ago, when your channel was at its acme, instead of barreling back to earth nosecone first. You could have maximized merch sales, especially when you had side characters to offer suggestions. You are not smart enough or creative enough to make good merch, just like you're incapable of carrying your channel yourself.
Do we even know if MoookBangLynn is still even enrolled or attending that outpatient program?
I doubt there is one, and if there is one, she already quit, because she knows better than everyone and listens to no one.
You spelled DoctorLynn, Medicine Woman wrong.
why are we entertaining the outpatient program as an actual thing that happened? of all of amber’s lies i feel like that one is the most transparent. she isn’t even trying to be sincere about it. if anything, it’s an excuse to binge and pig out on whatever, and she probably thought saying her diet is physician approved would make people less likely to question her (because she’s stupid). i’d venture to say that she’s trolling by obviously lying about it, but that would be giving her far too much credit. to even consider that as a possibility is making her out to be much smarter than what’s within her capabilities.
She hasn't mentioned it at all on her channel of late. If there is one, it's likely she's long gone.
the time to make merch was a few years ago, when her channel was thriving and she was being constantly shaded by eric and rickie. could you imagine if she made a t shirt that said NO ONE CARES on it? or if she sold orange chicken pins? but she’s so uncreative and lacks so much awareness that the only idea she’s struggled to force between the fat that rests in her skull is a pillow that says PILLOW MOUNTAIN. no fun design. no creativity. no humor.
Indeed. It's also why her writing sucks.
People told her to make it years ago and she didnt listen then.. shes a blubberheaded moron
She knows "what works for" her, shitlord.
she NEVER takes people’s advice because she thinks she knows everything about business. managing a terrible youtube channel with some of the worst content available isn’t the same thing as being an entrepreneur
You too, asshole.
LOL