Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Elvensnowfae]

Just a little, late, reminder that where both, nigga Jade and her pet Jabba Beast live they have a pet spa, with all proper equipment to shower and groom your pet, included in the building amenities.
What is worst than a 600lbs dumb bitch?
A 600lbs dumb bitch and her dumb, fat, nigga.
View attachment 3193165

I think Amber is broke hence the dollar tree hauls. I would think she would enjoy taking her dog to the salon since she can’t go.

 

[FatalTater]

Weird thing to grump about maybe, but I just now watched the video where Twinkie got a bath and... Wifey was wearing a watch? To bathe the dog? Who does that?

 

[Mad Man]

You can see this big bitch getting even bigger. You can't tell me she's back on 550. She already fucked up that outpatient program long ago.

550? Are you sure she's not 700 pounds?

 

[Billie Ross]

Will this be a free service included in her rent? If so, she’s even dumber than we thought.

I think Amber is broke hence the dollar tree hauls. I would think she would enjoy taking her dog to the salon since she can’t go.

Isn't a service they have to pay for, is a facility provided with the equipment for you to bath and groom your dog without making a mess at home.
Any pet owners would love to have something like that at their disposal, but hey, maybe is located 50 steps too far for Hambo or her nigga, like the pool or gym .

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

A couple of further thoughts on her "I can SO fit in the shower, haydurs," video: in the past, oh, seven hours, she's picked up about 700 likes. She's also picked up another thousand dislikes. You're becoming the shitty stats queen, Big Ham. It's a sort of side bonus of your channel continuing its decline.

Also, the damn seafood boil. She says it's really messy. First, I don't see any napkins on that tv tray. What are you going to do when you're finished? Take another shower without allowing the water to touch you? Two, if it's so messy, WHY THE FUCK are you eating in the living room on your fucking couch?

Boring, bullshit videos are stagnating her channel and I, for one, am loving that for us.

Just before 3 AM

Just after 10 AM

And just before 9 PM

Moving on.

What is with the "Let's clean!" shit from her. I can understand shopping, since it's the same bullshit nontent, but you are not exactly known for cleaning or being clean, Fatty.

Opening shot: the beast awakens. She's probably been awake for a bit, but her habit is to laze around in bed, so that's what she does. Will the "gf" bring her breakfast in bed? What crumbs can she add to the collection she snacks on when she wakes up gasping due to untreated sleep apnea?

Another fan. What, Becky didn't leave one of the industrial fans for you, or did the "gf" nix that because it was spreading your miasma all over the apartment and into her room, making her gag? When Hamber vacates this apartment, the cleaning people will need hazmat suits.

Lulz. I was kidding (kind of) about eating the crumbs in bed regularly, yet here she is, showing us a snack bag of...coconut? Why don't you just throw a shovel of river pebbles in the goddamned bed? STOP EATING IN BED. Yeah, yeah, normal people eat in bed. Yes, but they are not 600 pound behemoths, are they? "Are you supposed to just eat this by itself? It is chocolate-dipped? Does it say snack on the bag? NO. It's meant to be used in COOKING/BAKING, but what the fuck do you know about either of those.

Cat sighting! Except now we get more of that fucking baby voice, with some vague, idiotic accent. Shows a bag of stuff for Goodwill, and I wonder how long that bag will sit there in her room, never donated, like all that shit she and Becky bought "for the homeless shelter" languished in the fatmobile.

Shitts' Creek gigantic tent of a t-shirt. Black leggeeens. She has 500 pairs, y'all, remember that! She is fucking massive. Putson earrrings. Those fucking scars on her arm. She doesn't have any picking disorder. She has the beetus. She also has jaundice.

JFC. An entire fucking pantry full of candles? "Becky took all the candles she wanted when she left." You worked through custody for fucking candles? She picks one out, of course it's some goddamned food thing. She whines that she isn't into that (food smelling candle you're not into? Sure, bitch.) said she thought it would be "more masculine" like "fresh linen", which is not a fucking masculine scent, you twat, no matter how many of your butch housemates have done the laundry since your gunt and TRex arms (and laziness) prevent you from reaching down into the washer. The stench in that apartment must be epic. All those particulates from the candles and wax melts clinging to everything so the entire history of all the shit they've burned is present. I said above that when Big Ham and her "gf" move out, the cleaning crew will need hazmat suits. I think instead they just need to toss some grenades in, then clear the rubble and rebuild the apartment. It would be faster and cheaper.

Cleaning the kitchen. Seriously? What the fuck is this thing you have, Fat Hamber, where you're putting things that ALREADY HAVE CONTAINERS into other containers? Shampoo, conditioner, and spray cleaner are all fine in their goddamned containers. Stop watching idiotic TikTok bullshit on that subject. Doesn't actually move the shit off the counters to spray whatever scented crap it is she uses to clean. Doesn't wipe any crumbs or shit off the counters and stove frst, either. Just sprays the shit, wipes it off, and the way she does it, all the crumbs just go on the floor. She's amazed! They have a plastic egg holder! You know, Big Ham, ayygs already come in an ayyg holder. It's called a carton. She "10 out of 10 recommends" Poo-Pourri to use when taking a dump, and I bet the "gf" got that for her to cover up the stench of her giant shits.

Does a fake, slow as fuck reaction when the "gf" drops a pan or rattles some change or something. Reminds me, of course, of this.

Of course, the sink is full of dishes. Of course Big Spamber doesn't "do dishes right after eating". Yeah, I guess it would be pretty hard for someone who inhales thousands of calories in one meal to get up and get moving. But, you filthy fucking pig, you could at least dump the remnants of your damn seafood meal in the trash instead of leaving that shit in the bowls, on the counter, to add to the fucking stench you've created there. You are absolutely the laziest fucking twat I have ever seen on YouTube.

For fuck's sake. More of the fucking "art" cards. NOBODY CARES, ToddlerLynn. She keeps doing that passive-aggressive "buy my shitty art" thing, but at least she stopped shilling for Cameo. Says one of her favorite quotes is about someone crawling inside her fixing her broken parts or some bullshit yadda yadda. No thank you. Fuck that.

Not satisfied with all the smelly shit she already has in the apartment, they're at Dollar Tree picking up more. They put two bags of cheap bullshit they bought in the car, head back to the apartment.

Twinkie! Out for a walk. Poor dog. The "gf" should take Twinkie Storr to a dog park. Or any park. There's a "trash molment" and Big Al wants to show us just how committed she is to cleaning all the things by picking up that scrap of paper.

More cards at the end. No mention of the imaginary outpatient or the lack of weight loss.

TL;DW/R: Big Spamber wants us to believe she's a cleaning machine by half-shelfassedly wiping off a couple of counters. Makes stupid excuses as to why their seafood boil bowls are on the counter, with the remnants of that shit still in the bowls instead of the trash. Shows stupid "art" cards with shit a third grader could do. Leaves the apartment - to shop. naturally. Probably got food while out, too. Twinkle! Goes for a walk with Big Hamber and the "gf".

Stupid, pointless, and bare minimum. Put that on a fucking shirt, Hamber. I dare you.

 

[We're All Going To Hell]

What in gay hell? A "seafood" boil is meant to be eaten outside on a table with newspaper. That way you just roll it up to throw away and then put down more newspaper when the next pot is finished.
Who the fuck eats it on a sofa? IT IS messy af. It's juicy and buttery. You should have shells and corn cobs all over the place.
Ffs even eating with just another person you still need to put towels down on your dining table inside.

Then again this is Kentucky we are talking about not the coastline. That must be foul tasting shellfish.

 

[lol cow supreme]

What in gay hell? A "seafood" boil is meant to be eaten outside on a table with newspaper. That way you just roll it up to throw away and then put down more newspaper when the next pot is finished.
Who the fuck eats it on a sofa? IT IS messy af. It's juicy and buttery. You should have shells and corn cobs all over the place.
Ffs even eating with just another person you still need to put towels down on your dining table inside.

Then again this is Kentucky we are talking about not the coastline. That must be foul tasting shellfish.

Amber IS a table, covered in a tarp. Also she is terrified to eat all that seafood outside. The world wildlife foundation will think she's an abandoned whale and try to transport her back to the ocean.

 

[pot of sneed]

I bet it fucking stinks in that apartment. I'd feel sorry for the animals but they probably don't know any better, or have since forgotten better days at the gaycare.

 

[Angry Nipple]

I bet it fucking stinks in that apartment. I'd feel sorry for the animals but they probably don't know any better, or have since forgotten better days at the gaycare.

Better days at the gaycare? Seems a bit optimistic, in my opinion. It was probably just as stinky…. if not more stinky. Not to mention, chaotic. Regardless, I do feel bad for the animals.

ETA: just think about how sensitive animals’ noses are. They could very well have all sorts of issues from the amount of B.O. and the excess use of fragrances (sprays, perfumes, candles, etc.) they’re forced to endure.

 

[Ben Lurkin']

JFC. An entire fucking pantry full of candles? "Becky took all the candles she wanted when she left." You worked through custody for fucking candles?

She picks one out, of course it's some goddamned food thing. She whines that she isn't into that (food smelling candle you're not into? Sure, bitch.)

Stocked up on scented candles in case of a zombie apocalypse? This is like a Mormon end-times 3-year cataclysm stockpile -- just way moar stupid.



I do suppose that if one were trapped inside with FauxShowerLynn during a disaster, you'd probably be plenty thankful for them (and more for their air freshening properties than for their light.)

Bint really has a crap hoarding problem: Eeearings, blank books for journaleen, xpert layggoes, crafteen stickers, art cardeen, Internet gorl freenz...

Does a fake, slow as fuck reaction when the "gf" drops a pan or rattles some change or something. Reminds me, of course, of this.

Ah, Shock'dLynn's infamous "Birthday Gorl Grand Mal ."

My favorite still from that tard-y party:

Now, Necky is no heckin' beanpole, and is farther away from the lens than the EatBeast..but still...

Mind, this shot was taken without the benefit of IG angles or filters, and so is probably a pretty true approximation of what you'd be confronted with if you were to happen upon the double-wide lard-tard in IRL.

Circus freak shows may have been officially "canceled," yet what we have here is "Ms. WholeLottaLynn:"



It's just the modern-day Internet version for the rubes to gawk at.

 

[Mad Man]

Who the fuck eats it on a sofa? IT IS messy af. It's juicy and buttery. You should have shells and corn cobs all over the place.
Ffs even eating with just another person you still need to put towels down on your dining table inside.

looooool dude, she's on her way to being bed bound. If you're lucky enough, you might see her appear on "My 600 LB Life" being lectured by Doctor Nowzaradan and crying how she's sooo fucking fat and it's getting harder and harder for her to get around.

 

[Bookish]

See the old place brought back a memory. Remember the sex 10x a week, but also Eric or one of them walking in on them getting it on. What were they really doing? We now know these things were not happening, but so do their friends. I wonder how embarrassing backing up those lies and the truth coming out has been for Becky. They were probably getting drunk and lying about their sex life to everyone. Especially trying to one up D&D. Those are all Becky's people (E&R, H&R) besides D&D, but even then to have your gf lust after their ex openly and have it exposed that you mostly just wiped her poop butt(and still arent her favorite or even liked and respected by her) has to be humiliating. Amber doesnt care. She made money from the reveals, but Becky came off as majorly pathetic AND didnt get her cut of the lives.

Let's not forget free bleeding for 2 years and bed baths. Her ex's nasty underwear can't hold a candle, no pun intended, to this. The common denominator is Becky dating women with horrible hygiene.

 

[A Widdle Woach]

Each of those candles cost about $25. This sow really has thousands of dollars worth of candles just rotting in a closet.
Love that for her.

 

[FatalTater]

My favorite still from that tard-y party:

The fat doesn't even look real. Amber looks like a normal sized person in a fat suit. A fat suit she can never take off..

All those candles! Have you ever tried to cover up stink with perfumy things? It does not work. You just end up with lovely perfume scent ruined by an undertone of stench.

 

[Not me]

Are those candles re-sellable at a higher price? Like Funko Pops or so. I would get it if she invested in something to re-sell later like people do with collectors editions of video games, comic books or Funkos (and leave all of that in their pacaking) but candles? That does not seem any valuable to me.
Even buying Bitcoins would be a better choice than candles!

 

[Usb2200a]

Are those candles re-sellable at a higher price? Like Funko Pops or so. I would get it if she invested in something to re-sell later like people do with collectors editions of video games, comic books or Funkos (and leave all of that in their pacaking) but candles? That does not seem any valuable to me.
Even buying Bitcoins would be a better choice than candles!

Some brands of candles are limited edition and highly collectible/resell-able.

 

[FromTheRiverToTheBeeze]

Are those candles re-sellable at a higher price? Like Funko Pops or so. I would get it if she invested in something to re-sell later like people do with collectors editions of video games, comic books or Funkos (and leave all of that in their pacaking) but candles? That does not seem any valuable to me.
Even buying Bitcoins would be a better choice than candles!

Tough one, I once saw a woman on a British TV show about having collectibles appraised, she had slowly built up a collection of designer handbags by the major players like D&G/Gucci. The appraiser looked over them and suggested a few hundred quid at the most, way below what she had paid at retail prices. The appraiser informed her that the bags had been made in mass production level quantity.

Also in the UK, cosmetics company Lush often discontinue their scents in order to replace them with new ones. They then sell on eBay for inflated prices due to scarity and popularity.

The same happened with even a cleaning product from Method who discontinued an eco friendly glass cleaner spray which then sold for more than double the price on eBay.

Some will remember the embarrassment that was people believing Beany Baby soft toys would be worth something one day without seeing the irony in the toys selling out in stores.

Then of course, is anything ever worth more than what someone is willing to pay for them?

 

[Constellationzero]

The fat doesn't even look real. Amber looks like a normal sized person in a fat suit. A fat suit she can never take off..

All those candles! Have you ever tried to cover up stink with perfumy things? It does not work. You just end up with lovely perfume scent ruined by an undertone of stench.

Had an algebra teacher in undergrad Habutt's size. And he was on water pills (prolly for his heart), and informed us that he's an "old man" and will need to step out occasionally.

I'm telling you this because, like Habutt, this man was ambulatory and never sat down (yep, actually stood at the front to teach). He'd go up and down the aisles during tests. And when he did, well...he couldn't NOT brush against people.
The smell when he stood/got too close. Mein GOTT, the mother-fucking smell. Something like (gonna spoiler for you) Days old liquid shit, farts, unwiped ass, feet, cornchips, armpits, and the Russian Roulette of perscription drugs he was on. You'd always get that violent, loud, obnoxious reflexive vomit gag in that class.

Now. Burn a Yankee Candle--or three. Now you have the above, with bottom notes of "Fresh linen," "Birthday Cake," "Pumpkin Spice," or whatever else she's burning.

Facts.

 

[HackerX]

Isn't a service they have to pay for, is a facility provided with the equipment for you to bath and groom your dog without making a mess at home.
Any pet owners would love to have something like that at their disposal, but hey, maybe is located 50 steps too far for Hambo or her nigga, like the pool or gym .
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Yeah, I assume it's the same from what I've seen elsewhere. Typical it's just a station with a large sink and platform outside and under an open-air structure. Usually by a dog park or walking area.

Only 2 reasons they didn't use it that I can think of

1) Too cold outside still, which is a legitimate reason.

2) Too fat to be outside, which is also a legitimate reason.

 

[weasels]

ETA: just think about how sensitive animals’ noses are. They could very well have all sorts of issues from the amount of B.O. and the excess use of fragrances (sprays, perfumes, candles, etc.) they’re forced to endure.

expanding on this, candles can be outright dangerous for animals. The fragrance oils and paraffin fumes are really bad for their little systems. I could be wrong but I don't think B&BW has entirely moved to a non-toxic formula, nor do I think Amberlynn is smart enough/cares enough to even check.

edit: an word