Your HaydurNation forecast for today: partly cloudy, 100% chance of whiny, super morbidly obese Hambeast hoovering down calories she will wildly underestimate.
Latest trend: Were you tired of "other YouTubers"? Welcome the whining about how other people will eat the same food and not gain weight. It's "Other People"!
sushi, pizza, all the calories | what I ate today | episode 4 - June 29, 2022
-20 points for the intro. You are not a serious person, Fatty. Why are you trying to portray one the YewToobs?
Deciding what to eat. just make it easy. Order one of everything.
You don't need to fucking "vibe" to order fucking food. Just use "what I'm in the mood for" and stop trying to be some fucking quirky gorl, you fat fucking retard. And stop saying ma'am.
Bitches about the chairs at Cracker Barrel not being comfy. Don't care. Next.
Whines about something in the last poke bowl. Don't care. Next.
She obviously gained weight because she's leaving that until later.
Sushi. And edda-mommay. Jalapenos do NOT belong on sushi.
Says she gets nervous trying sushi. No, you don't. It's the same bullshit you say about any other goddamned thing in your life that you're "nervous" about.
Feeder porn.
LOL. 600 calories for that sushi? Nope. I'd tell you to try again, Hamber, but you're not much on followthrough.
Oh. look. they think they're Martha Stewart, watering the plants on the sill with a FANCY watering vessel - dare I say, container? - and then spritzing the foliage from a bottle. How elegant. How upscale.
Bougie bullshit. You are not part of the upper class and never will be.
"Can I water this one, bebe?" Hamber promptly makes a mess trying to water with her beetus paws. Ah well, that's for the plebe to clean up, what does she care.
Tries to be funny by having the "gf"give her a drink from the watering jug. "No, I'm too scurred!"
Torrid try on. Doesn't fit. Just like every other fucking thing she owns. "I didn't think it was going to fit. But, it's pretty loose." She says, as she plucks at the fucking thing to futilely attempt to stop it from clinging to her flab. Tries to explain it as an insecurity thing that she would do even if she were thin. No, you wouldn't.
Left full size so you can see what she believes "fits" her and thinks looks good. I'll say this: it really sets off the cyanosis, don't you think? She gives is a 4/10.
Next food: How about some of those fucking leftovers you claimed you had from the weekend? Oh. No, I guess not. Two cups of rice, bourbon chicken on top, and then light soy sauce and what the fuck, it's bourbon chicken goddamnit can you stop ruining all food for fucking ever because you cannot just eat it as it fucking is.
"I know a lot of you ask how's your mom doeeen." No, they don't.
She's SO hongry. "Amazing," she mumbles, through a mouthful of food. You're so fucking gross.
VO: "Bad judgement. I had three slies of pepperoni pizza."
You know what? I don't want to hear you fucking claim ever again that you are "not a pizza type of gal" and especially not pepperoni. Fat fucking behemoth.
Oh! and THREE servings of Lay's cheddar potato chips or some fucking things, because her audio went static. Still, goddamn, Hamber. Don't ever tell us you want to lose weight again. You do not. And I swear to fuck I will litter my recaps with "No you don't. you fat fucking behemoth" to follow every time you claim you do or you lament that you're not losing weight. Fucking waste of planetary resources on a fucking planetary scale.
Weight today - once again told, not shown: 495.2. Still 500 fucking pounds, allegedly, See how handy rounding is? Since the beginning of the year, at 504, to today, at 495, a grand total of...........nine fucking pounds. In SIX FULL MONTHS. Yeah, I'll just point you back to the previous paragraph.
Rarity sighting. Naturally we can't just see her, we have to listen to this fat fuck talk. Eats a pint off fucking ice cream. Claims that she is "addicted" to it, and no, you fat fuck, you are not. She's now bitching about the ice cream yodeling about being creamier or some shit, and of course she hates it, because it's 10 whole calories less than the one she prefers. OMG, can you imagine the nerve? It's like it doesn't say so in giant fucking letters right on the front of the container or something. Seems to me maybe you should be more observant abut what you're shoving in your fucking piehole, but that's just me. She's recommending the other kind. I have no idea wtf that is, because i don't eat that shit.
PSA: do not take any fucking food advice - or any other kind of advice - from this fat fucking bitch.
LOL. Calories she claims she ate this day: 2610
Steps: she wasn't even trying, even though it's to SAVE HER LAHF, you guise. You know, the reason she had to talk to the imaginary shrink so she could go back to the imaginary therapy.
LOL again. Steps: 2138
Says that it's "odd" to think she's faking therapy. Gosh, why on earth would anyone think that? I mean it isn't like you have ever - EVEr- not told the truth. Well, okay, there were those videos you had to make to confess the shit you've lied about, but that doesn't mean you're a LIAR, does it?
Yes, LiarLynn, it does, you fat, fucking liar.
TL;DW/R: Big Ham eats: sushi, bourbon chicken with rice, pizza, potato chips, a pint of Halo Top (which she is pissed about, because it's 10 kess calories than usual!). Doesn't move at all, and I do not believe for an instant either her claimed calories or steps. Weighs in at 495.2 (hey, I don't believe this either!) - which means that from January 1 through June 29, she has lost a grand total of nine pounds, being generous with the last couple ounces. Torrid thing that she hated but won't return; says she will wear it as a "halter top" and my brain broke trying to get out of the way of that one. Rarity sighting for about 10 seconds. She and the "gf" watered the plants on the sill with a fancy watering jug because they are just so much more posh than the rest of us. Says it's "so odd" that people think she's faking therapy. It's almost as if she has to occasionally shoot video confessions or something. How...odd.
The end.
Edit: sorry fam, for all the fucks in this thing. I only lasted ten seconds until the first one rolled out.
