People who don't know how to keep themselves healthy ought to have the decency to get themselves buried, and not waste time about it. - Henrik Ibsen
Hamber's working on it. - Me
what happened to me... - August 20, 2022
Allow me to sum up what happened to you, Hamber: Fat.
"Hey guise"
A bit of a Debbie Downer today, my oh my. Whatever, Hamber loves to try to drag everyone else's mood down with her.
"We need to talk"
Can we talk about your GREASY, NASTY HAIR, which you still have not washed?I know you yammer about this washing your hair once every two weeks or so, but it looks really fucking gross.
Oh, FFS, let's talk some more about how Fat Ham is feeling. Because she NEVER does that.
Brings up her nonexistent bipolar again, whines about how things she likes to do not things she likes anymore, adds a couple of other depressive things she found while sitting on her shelf ass, eating, and scrolling through sites and IG all goddamned day long because she's a lazy, uninteresting, unintelligent sloth of a cunt. Skip to the chase, Hamber.
YOU ARE NOT BIPOLAR YOU ABSOLUTE CUNT. Stop spewing the Betty Basic bullshit you stole from wiki or google or webmd or sites you found on the web. Ditto for the behavioral discussions, et al, that you just, with your narcissism, steal from other peoples' experiences. Takes Lamictal although she doesn't need it. I'm sure that couldn't do anything adverse to you when you take it for a condition you don't have.
Whines about feeling "detached" from everything. This is what happens when you live a life that's so fucking insular you literally do nothing all goddamned day except eat, shop online, and watch TV and YT. Get a fucking hobby. Go learn a trade, Go for a fucking
walk waddle around the complex IN THE DAYLIGHT. Get some vitamin D. But for fuck's sake, stop acting like everything just happens TO you without you having any effect whatsoever on your life.
Blah de blah. Living with bipolar, I'm so depressed you guise...
Don't care, Fatty. You're not bipolar and your misery is of your own making.
Her MG,W, wants her to go walking. She didn't want to, but finally relented to getting her fat shelf off the couch and interrupting her pondering her next meal. But not before we get some bullshit about how she's been "working on her stamina" which is one of the funniest things about this vlog. You're not working on anything related to your health, Fatty.
She's now moved on to bitching about people saying she's smug or making comments about her mobility. Just how are you seeing that, Hamber? Thought you were "done giving a shit" about comments and reaction channels. I mean, we knew that was a lie before the spittle was even dried on your lips, because if there's one subject you do love, it's yourself. You're a narc. You read all the comments, you lurk in forums, and you watch every video anyone makes on you so you can feel ultra secure in your poor pity me victim complex.
Oh, here we go with trying to generate some crocodile tears! Shaky voice, scratchy voice like she's trying to stop herself from cryeen. Why is it that you're not any better at this than you were ten years ago? Your acting still sucks, and you've learned nothing, ShatnerLynn. She's making a big show of wiping her eyes, but there are no tears emanating therein. Just another bald-faced, obvious ploy for sympathy after trying to kick over the hornet's next in Becky's general direction. Never change, Hamber. (Of course she won't.)
And now, the tale of the fall. Let's allow Hamber to feel her inner Orson Welles and tell us how the story came to be.
Her MG,W, pesters her about going for a walk. IF she did - and let's face it, Fat Ham is a fucking liar and cannot be relied upon - then good for her, but I doubt this was the case. Whatever the case, Hamber finally gets off her shelf ass and goes to walk, likely with much grumbling, in my opinion. They decide to walk the route in different directions for some stupid reason, but I'd do it just to skip having to hear Fat Ham whine ever more about her muh mentalz, most of which are self-diagnosed and used solely to absolve Hamber of guilt, responsibility, and accountability, or to get asspats and superchats. It really makes no sense, of course, as so many of the things in Hamber's life do. Why, if her MG,W is so supportive and so loving, and also working long hours, would she not want to spend time with the love of her life, the 500+ pound toddler?
More dabbing away at nonexistent tears, Girl, if you're going to try to out-emote William Shatner, you'll have to do much better than this.
All right, show us that totally real and not exaggerated in any way, shape, or form video, Fatty.
That's it? THAT is your debilitating fall, which left your foot "dangling" like a bag of phalanges and tarsals? And you wonder why people don't believe your fucking "cancer" story.
Yes, skinny people roll their ankles, too. What they don't have is an extra 3-4 people on their back when they do it. I don't buy this weeping, "I'm bedbound, y'all" shit.
SO, the base scenario: after blaming Becky for her "cancer", saying her MG,W, would have FORCED her to go to the doctor, Hamber gets her metric ass ton full of backlash. She goes radio silent for a few days, as she does in situations like this, because she is a weakling and a coward. She comes back, whining about her muh mentalz, because that always draws the sympathy and asspats and she doesn't have to take responsibility for anything. But even this is not sufficient to get haydur nation off her back fat. She tacks on a "something bad happened, tune in next time, same batwing station, random batwing time!"
She claims her MG,W, supporter extraordinaire, basically FORCED her to go on her own Bataan death march, but alone. Hamber assures us, at the beginning of the clip of her fateful walk, that she's ok with this, because she wanted to talk more about her nonexistent bipolar disorder or something stupid of that nature. Hamber waddles off, down the sidewalk, huffing and puffing - great stamina, there, Fat Ham! - and then, BANG! Out of nowhere, she misses a step, rolls her ankle, and is down, phone flying out of her hand. "OK," she says, and picks up her phone. Clip ends.
Back to Hamber in the FatGorlz studio. Still trying to squeeze out some tears about this oh so traumatic event. Tells us she got herself up and limped back to the "luxery" apartment, then went to the ER. Waaah. STILL trying to squeeze out some tears. XRays at the ER were negative, and as we all know, there's no way she can fit into an MRI even if they wanted to order one (unlikely; clearly not life or death). The doctor - an AMAZING doctor, unlike all those other incompetent fuckers she encounters at ERs, generally. What a relief. He says, as he realizes just how traumatized she is (she claims), that she has torn multiple ligaments, which is a lie. A doctor is not going to dx a soft tissue injury just by palpation. Tries crying again over not being able to use a boot. Or crutches. Or a single limb stroller. They make bariatric boots, but with her lymphedema and fat sleeve, she's TOO FUCKING FAT. Stroller? Nope, your fucking leg is TOO FUCKING FAT and you can't bend your goddamned knees anyway. Crutches? Again, nope, for the same reason you can't do any scans: you're over THREE FUCKING FEET wide.
She's rattling on about how painful it is, and how the next morning she could barely move it, which for "someone my size" isn't good. She then launches into a "skinny people" thing. YOU ARE A GIANT FATASS. That matters. Especially when you're lying about a doctor knowing by feel that you have torn ligament through all your layers of fucking FAT. Says they had to use a wheelchair to move her...no shit, bitch, it's standard, and they don't want you falling in the goddamned ER and launching a lawsuit against them, which you would totally do, now that you have Jade Francis, of NYC, currently hiding out in Lexington, KY to avoid creditors and auto lawsuits, living with you.
Sidesteps into the "scandal" of the estrogen saga, which we know she isn't "supposed to be taking" - ACCORDING TO WHOM, YOU LYING FUCKING CUNT" - and we are "not gonna believe" and I assure you, Fatty, I know exactly what you're about to say: OMG, they called and said it's ready, so now I have a doctor's name for the prescriber! I can blame someone! Except that you ARE supposed to be taking it, and you're not going to get fucking cancer from it. Stupid bitch.
And that is, of course, exactly what she does.
So much pain, you guise! So painful! But I'm vewwy bwave and I just have to ignore the pain. Not so she can get around, naturally, since she doesn't work and has no hobbies. No, to make it to the bathroom for whore showers and take a piss/shit. Says she's trying to drink less water so she doesn't have to go to the bathroom as much, and I have to say, if se drinks even less water than she does right now, she's going to (eventually) look like a lizard or frog that gets stuck somewhere, dies, and then slowly desiccates. In her case, very slowly. I'm sure her MG,W would be just fine with that.
More attempts at tears, which still will not come. Guess you should drink more water to get those cranked up, Hamber. And order some puppy pads. Large breed variety.
She says reaction channels are disgusting if they react to this. Go fuck yourself, Hamber. you put shit up on the internet, it's going to get reactions. And don't pretend you're not above monetizing this kind of crap. You did it with that stupid, fake as hell, hyper-hyperventilating fuckery of your "I have cancer" video, you casually toss in your muh mentalz every fucking chance you get - and let me tell you something, you munchie bitch, people - regular people - don't go around announcing "I'm bipolar" every other fucking second of their goddamned day. I say reaction channels should be tearing you to fucking shreds every single day. I would be. They're much nicer than I am.
Some thoughts on this Spanish telenovela bullshit. First, I don't think for a single moment that her MG,W wanted to go for a walk, much less take one with Fat Ham. Hamber is slow and annoying, and takes up the entire sidewalk. no one wants to talk to the back of someone's head or in front of them when the other person is a sloth on the best of days, and it's so easy to outpace them. I think Hamber concocted her little scheme because she realized she needed something kind of major to deflect from the disaster that is "Becky tried to kill me with my own cancer" story. We know she can, and has, and still currently does - look at that shit on her arms. She had to pump that up in a hurry because her MG,W, would have been expecting it. She figures, hey, a fall. But not TOO serious, because ow, pain.
She waddles away, phone in hand, recording, blathering on and on about how "low she is", etc. just before the fall, at 7:25 in her video, she looks down toward her phone and the ground.
then she looks up and around, to see if anyone is around. she mentions no one and doesn't stop talking, which is what she normally does when there are people or cars around.
Then she tips herself over and sprains her fucking ankle. That's it. She can say all she wants that weight has nothing to do with it, but that's a crock of shit. We all know it. She knows it.
Now: she falls, only making a brief, barely audible squeak as she goes down. This bitch, who is noisy as fuck, cackles, squeals, makes stupid noises to fill air time makes not a fucking sound wen she falls? I find that incredibly difficult to believe.
Next, she says "ok", gets her phone, and immediately shuts it off. She tells us that she gets up and makes her way to the "luxery" apartment, despite her "inscruciating" pain, which she mentions about a billion times after she shows the clip. Why didn't she just call her MG,W, to get the car and come get her - or, at least, to come help her make it back o the apartment? Surely that oh so supportive, love-you-like-no-other MG,W, would have no issue doing either of these things.
She's a drama queen and attention whore who is desperate to change the narrative from her shitting all over Becky. The easiest and fastest way to do that is to have a major medial event. Even though it is not major nor much of a medical event, just an excuse to lie around in bed for a couple of weeks, eating and not exercising, before having a miraculous recovery, followed by a celebratory visit to The Cheesecake Factory to reunite with her one love outside herself: orange chicken.
TL;DW/R: Hamber once again whining about her muh mentalz, tries to deflect from her latest round of shitty behavior by having a fall, without any sort of "oh shit" or groaning escaping her fat head. Has her MG,W haul her fat ass to the ER where an XRay shows no broken bones. Has an amazing ER doctor who is able to feel through all the layers of fat on her foot and tell her she has "torn multiple ligaments" in her foot, even though that is not possible for him to diagnose in that manner. They send her home. PAIN PAIN PAIN. Is bedbound for now, her favorite place to be as long as there is someone to throw food at her one in awhile. Readymade excuse for not showering or washing her filthy hair for a few weeks, too. Whines about reaction channels, as if she doesn't whore out her body/medical crap for views herself. Skinny people fall, too, you shitlords, but remember that none of this is good for what she calls "people my weight". The End.
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