Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

While I have bank accounts and such, maybe it's just a prepper thing for me having a few grand of cash stashed away for emergency purposes. If the banking system hiccups badly for whatever reason and who in the hell knows in Clown World today, it's worthwhile.
I hope people don't see this exclusively as a 'prepper' thing. Small off-topic story:

The insignificant country to the north of Burgerland - you know, the one where they live in igloos, use dogsleds, and have a part-time drama teacher as a prime minister? Anyway, they suffered a telecommunications outage from one of their MAJOR companies (Rogers) earlier this year. Nationwide, millions lost 911 coverage and internet access - including banks. And I don't mean individual branches, I mean entire NATIONAL BANKS went completely dark for a day or so. Visa and Mastercard payment processing also went down. So if you were a Canuckian who banked with one of those institutions and you walked around cashless with your sleek minimalist wallet, you were FUCKED. ATMs didn't work, because they couldn't communicate with your bank to release funds. Visa and Mastercard were down. Even if you used a bank that didn't rely on Rogers, many stores did and could only do cash transactions. Mainstream Media never followed up on the story about what happened, nor did Rogers admit to what the problem was (some speculated it was either a hack or a sort of cyber terrorist attack), and they managed to get banks up in about a day, and other service within a couple of days. It wasn't disasterous, but still a wake up call for the importance of cash.

Moral of the story: anyone who is able to scrape ANY spare money together should try to work on keeping enough cash tucked away at home somewhere to AT LEAST cover a tank of gas and a few days worth of groceries.


Anyway, now back to our scheduled programming. Gee, Amber is over 500lbs. Y'all tease her about this crazy weight gain, but you shouldn't. Once she (eventually) stops this mega dirty bulk she's on and then finishes her cut, she's gonna make Iris Kyle look like an anorexic twig.
:optimistic:
 
I hope people don't see this exclusively as a 'prepper' thing. Small off-topic story:

The insignificant country to the north of Burgerland - you know, the one where they live in igloos, use dogsleds, and have a part-time drama teacher as a prime minister? Anyway, they suffered a telecommunications outage from one of their MAJOR companies (Rogers) earlier this year. Nationwide, millions lost 911 coverage and internet access - including banks. And I don't mean individual branches, I mean entire NATIONAL BANKS went completely dark for a day or so. Visa and Mastercard payment processing also went down. So if you were a Canuckian who banked with one of those institutions and you walked around cashless with your sleek minimalist wallet, you were FUCKED. ATMs didn't work, because they couldn't communicate with your bank to release funds. Visa and Mastercard were down. Even if you used a bank that didn't rely on Rogers, many stores did and could only do cash transactions. Mainstream Media never followed up on the story about what happened, nor did Rogers admit to what the problem was (some speculated it was either a hack or a sort of cyber terrorist attack), and they managed to get banks up in about a day, and other service within a couple of days. It wasn't disasterous, but still a wake up call for the importance of cash.

Actually, I went to the mall that day, and they were taking VISA/Mastercard. From what I understand, they could hold the charges in the queue and send them out the next day, although who knows if that's correct. Of course, the mall could probably only do that because they were the mall, smaller retailers were thoroughly screwed. Also, we're trailing a digital currency soon, aren't we? sigh...
 
When we last saw our Ambiguously Gay Duo, Keto Queen dramatically removed her mask to reveal that she wasn't actually Keto Queen, but in fact had been the Carbie Gorl all along. Haydur Nation, having fallen for her brilliant trap, let out a collective scream of anguish that was heard around the world! And The Brooklyn Brawler was out at the local gas station, looking to scoop up Becky's sloppy seconds. And now for the next episode: "I'm over 500lbs again & relationships as a fat gorl | days 6-8 | vlog" (alternate title: fat and lonely)

Hmmm, notice how Amber said that she needed to get us caught up in time for vlogmas, but she only releases a video every two days with about 2 days worth of content? Methinks she's keeping the backlog so she can binge in peace and use the last of the prerecorded content for the week of Ja'Phonie's vacation (and then go back to real time after she returnes). Anyway...

-- NOVEMBER 8 2022 --

"Hello Hello." Makeup molment. Amber's confused that her tiktok was banned, as she doesn't TRY to go against TOS and didn't know. Everyone else does this and doesn't get in trouble! It's the haydurs... (or Becky's fault - FUCK BECKY!) She also enjoys watching people gamble with scratch tickets. Watching eating and binge content, munchie and mental illness content, gambling content... I find it amazing how many different interests and hobbies she can collect, and every single one is self-destructive (or she turns it into something self-destructive).

Amber admits to watching Chantal and Salah's vlogs. She's happy for Chantal, unlike those stupid haydurs. She quickly brings it back to her. "I have nothing to give to Feline, besides my fucking heart, my body, my love". You forgot to mention your MONEY. Fat people can be with attractive people too, yaknow... like Amber is. We don't see what happens behind closed doors, so don't assume. Except everything we've assumed so far with your past relationships ended up being true. I like our odds on being right this time as well.

Amber's still going on about how fat people can be loved. We don't HATE you because you're FAT, Amber. We HATE you because YOU'RE A RAGING NARC WITH DOGSHIT FOR A SOUL. We make of your weight because it's funny (and because you're a raging narc with dogshit for a soul), but we don't hate fat people. If it makes you feel better, we'd still make fun of you if you were skinny. You're the only one that thinks your audience hates people for being fat. In fact, here's a secret for you: most of YOUR YOUTUBE AUDIENCE IS FAT, TOO! Go read your comments section, gorl! They talk about it all the time in there. She's STILL going on about Chantal. Give it up Amber; she wants nothing to do with you.

She's done getting ready and just filmed that other thirst trap TikTok. Amber talks about 'branching out' and may do more TikToks, as well as starting Cameo again. I guess that wallet doesn't have so many hundreds in it anymore. She hasn't ate yet today, because she binged yesterday. She can't eat for like, an entire HALF OF A DAY after she binges (this is serious, guize)... and then 'binge city' happens. It's something she's trying to talk to her psychologist about - but I thought the psychologist was gone for a few months because she had the baby?

SCALE SCREEN: 502.4lbs (500lbs). She's back in the 500s because she binged really bad last night - not because she's been eating like, 4000-5000 calories a day for decades.

-- NOVEMBER 9 2022 --

It's a few hours later. She slept in her makeup... but it's a new day. (I'm confused too)

SCALE SCREEN: 502.4lbs (500lbs). She has created yet another new weight log sheet. There was a scribble and she had to start again. Holy shit Amber, just use pencil (or buy those Frixion pens). "It's a perfectionist's problem". Yeah, and God-forbid you try and work on that.

She didn't binge last night... just over-ate... but binged before she went to sleep. Now she's going back to sleep - but she just woke up? (I'm still confused as to when this actually is)

-- NOVEMBER 10 2022 --

New day. She's never liked doing makeup, but she's enjoying it now because she's getting more creative with it. She's feeling better and new and improved and ready to get back on track.

RARITY!!!

TWINKIE!!!

SCALE SCREEN!! 505.0lbs (500 lbs). She's very sad.

Hmmm, let's do some math (she's just rambling; you won't miss anything). She started at 496.2 lbs, and after 8 days is 505lbs (so, 8.8lbs in 8 days). Assuming she keeps on this steady, controlled weight loss, Amber should be able to get down to 606.2lbs by the end of the 100 days. Woot-woot!! That would be a new PR for Amber.

(Not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that gaining a pound per day is worse for your gallbladder than losing two per week. Just sayin').

"This just seems like a joke to me right now". Us too, gorl. So, two days of intuitive eating has lead to 4 binge days and one overeating (binge) day. Don't worry, Amber knows what works for her and will now be counting calories (1600/day) and logging it on Lose It. She comments that her vlogs haven't been weight loss related recently (or EVER, if you want to get technical).

GROCERY HAUL!!! It's all the same processed junk food that she buys (cheese, tv dinners, pizza rolls), plus some fruit and veg, chicken and turkey, Atkins bars, ayygs, and ramen.

End of the night: Her doodle poster is complete, and she created another one. Don't judge her art. Amber spergs about art.

-- THANKS FOR WATCHING *KISSY LIPS* --

TL;DR: No Jade. Makeup. TikTok misunderstood Amber's intentions. Chantal talk. Big Gorls need love, too! RARITY! TWINKIE! Grocery Haul. 505lbs. Calorie Counting (1600).

Will Carbie Gorl ever finish that LEGO globe? Has Wasabi successful tunnelled his way out of the apartment with an old spoon from one of Amber's DoorDash deliveries? Was Ja'Phonie successful in smashing the gas station attendant that Becky passed on? To find the answers to these guestions, tune in next time: Same FAT time! Same FAT Channel!
 
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bitch slipped and put 602.4 :story: :story: ✨ ✨ FAT ✨✨
 
I agree with you Slappy. There is no reason to see a doctor and tell him or her bollocks. In case of Amber, she probably told them that she loss 100 pounds in a year, so that they do not want her to restrict her diet.
she would totally tell them that. She tells us bullshit like the story of "her dad stealing a computer from a courtroom" where the title is blown way out of proportion and the story behind it is boring fake bullshit.
The lipoedema doctor might have suggested a high protein diet, a la Dr. Now, with reduced calories. She did not tell her to eat huge amount of pork rinds.
We all know amber finds the foods she can technically eat and she maxes out on the servings, this is why WW never works for her. She just shoves bags upon bags of whatever she can technically eat in her face and just be so confused as to why shits not working out. "Well the doctors told me i could eat this" isnt an excuse but here we are.
Amber only wants to hear that her weight gain is not her fault, and that she is special.
lol
I think that she does not have the capacity to understand the fine details of what she is told. This is why she claims that they misdiagnosed her so many times; she just does not understand what she is told.
Amber is fucking retarded, its one of the things about her thats really entertaining when shes not being a cunt. The gaycare was the best era imho because of how fucking stupid she was compared to everyone else, i miss that shit.
"male volent" was the best.
 
Between days 5 and 6, she gained nearly 5 pounds. Just thought that was entertaining enough to point out.
While it's impossible to know the situation surrounding those 2 weights, it's entirely possible she consumed around 10,000 calories in the span of about a day to achieve that.
We all know amber finds the foods she can technically eat and she maxes out on the servings, this is why WW never works for her.
I can't decide which WW version of her was funnier:
"Everything in the soup is 0 points, so I can eat the entire pot with no consequences"
Or
"I ate all of my daily points and all of my weekly bonus points and then some on my first day, despite paying for the plan that gives you the most possible points"
 
Congrats on being 500 elbees again, Amber!

Gallbladder removal surgery, cholecystectomy, is usually performed laprascopically these days. It hasn't been an open incisional surgery (laparotomy) for decades. She's not getting it though at the weight she is unless it's a life threatening emergency, or she magically gets herself approved for bariatric surgery. Bariatric surgeons will remove a diseased gallbladder during WLS, but most no longer remove healthy gallbladders despite popular belief to the contrary, instead they'll opt to prescribe ursodial for up to 6 months post operatively to cover the very rapid weightloss period. WLS is also performed laprascopically unless complications arise mid surgery that require the abdomen to be opened up.

Keyword usually. You're right, she likely would get it laparoscopically. But. most hysterectomies are laparoscopic today as well and she got that done abdominally like the olde tyme days. So I can see her getting cholecystectomy done abdominally as well if they had to absolutely do it (like it was gangrened). I can't see Amber getting WLS unless she paid her way to Mexico a la Boogie or tried to get on MSHPL and the TLC producers decided "fuck it, it's on" after rejecting her pleas last time. Amber is losing income fast and may be desperate enough to try Dr Now one last time.

I can't decide which WW version of her was funnier:
"Everything in the soup is 0 points, so I can eat the entire pot with no consequences"
Or
"I ate all of my daily points and all of my weekly bonus points and then some on my first day, despite paying for the plan that gives you the most possible points"
My favorite WW Amber logic is "chicken is 0 points, so McNuggets is 0 points." Although the latter is very close.
 
She never does anything to break terms of service? Nah, course not. Hamber is a good girl.
Good God, her cookie TikTok was naughty but but but but other people do it! Plus guuuyyysss, it was all down to haters reporting her. That and TikTok never explains anything to her!

Why is she still pretending to be Chantal's friend? She hates you, you absolute retard. When you're too gross even for Chantal, you've really hit rock bottom.

We've seen your caretaker, she's hideous. I don't think Fatty has ever had a normal looking ex (definitely no attractive ones). Thumb is probably the easiest to look at and that's worrying.
''Muh binge muh binge, binggggging, I binge''. Fuck off with your pretend ED and wash your hair.

Yellow eyeshadow with a neon green/gold necklace in combination with a plum cardigan and this bitch thinks she has taste.
Here's hoping she reaches a new highest weight by mid 2023.
 
Keyword usually. You're right, she likely would get it laparoscopically. But. most hysterectomies are laparoscopic today as well and she got that done abdominally like the olde tyme days.
Actually, most hysterectomies are performed vaginally these days. Being a "been there, done that, have the t-shirt", my gyn oncologist does all cancer related hysterectomies as open surgeries. Most do if they don't have access to a Da Vinci robot. Some get a small horizontal pubic line incision, while the real fatties get the vertical monstrosities like ALR and Gunt did.

Speaking of "fat"....why do these Lard arse infinifats keep describing themselves as fat when the reality it they are whale sized. They are not curvy or sexy....and they definitely are not attractive and deserving of being loved by a partner. I could never find someone that size attractive, and it is not fat shaming on my part, rather I want a partner who is mobile and doesn't need a caregiver just to survive another day.
 
I just want to scream at amber that she isn’t fat, she’s 500 fucking pounds. Of course we wonder why anyone would want her, her body is deformed and she can’t do anything due to her size. She’s gross. Then add her stupidity and narcissism and yeah, we question why anyone would want to spend one second with you. Same goes for Chantal.

Also way to show your desperation for drama, Amber. You watch Chantal, do you? You think she’s pretty, do you? We see through you.
 
Between days 5 and 6, she gained nearly 5 pounds. Just thought that was entertaining enough to point out.

View attachment 3885558

bitch slipped and put 602.4 :story: :story: ✨ ✨ FAT ✨✨
According to Amber losing 2lbs a week average was too fast and she had to quit keto because it was sludging up her gallbladder.

But gaining 10 pounds in a week..Probably best thing she could ever do for her gallbladder....
Also she was claiming they saw sludge in her gallbladder in what, her CT Scan? Did she go get another one after her 1 week of keto and she was already sludged up? That dont math....

I'm not a lego scientist or anything but, you have to eat more than 10 pounds of food to gain a pound. Heres what I mean:
-The most calorie dense "food" you can eat is vegetable oils/lard. Its around 4,000 calories per pound.
-The common consensus is 3500 calories is a pound of gained/lost for a human
-The 13 ounce package of chips ahoy chewy she binged on only has ~1600 calories. IF that entire package got converted to body weight it would be 1/2 a pound (8 ounces)...less than the actual weight of the cookies due to calorie density.

So in 7 days she has gained 10 pounds and she is claiming all because of binging. 10 pounds would require her to be over by 35,000 calories for the week over her daily required intake ...if it was all fat. Thats 5,000 calories PER DAY MORE than her required maintenance intake, which is likely 3,000 calories to remain her size. So she's either eating 8,000 calories in a day, is massively constipated, or somehow is filling up with magical blueberry juice from chewing gum.

Someone's going to mention "water weight". She would have been gaining water weight on keto with all those salty ass pork rinds she was eating so, its not that. MooLynn is eating her way back to 579 El Bees

Maintaining her current trajectory we will be at that near new years. We could get there faster if MG,W, JFoNY goes home for the holidays leaving Hambie alone.
 
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MooLynn is eating her way back to 579 El Bees
Piece of cake for her to balloon right back up again. She did nothing (like exercise) to retone her body to the original weight loss. So in essence, she a saggy skin sack waiting to be refilled with fat. Akin to putting air in your tires when they're running low. She'll repressurize by shoving massive calories down her gullet and her body will willing inflate to accommodate back to its massive size.

It's one thing to lose weight, but it's another to train your body to keep it off once it's gone, which she's too fuckall to have bothered with. That's why any diet she chooses will never work. Her body still believes it's nearly 600 ellbees and will easily adjust to being that weight again.

But you do you, Hamber. I'm gonna sit right here and laugh everytime you cry, mentulz, self-shame, have another medical issue (OF COURSE, NOT RELATED TO BEING FAT) and try to blame us "haydurs" for your ignorance and lack of self-control.

It's so sadly hilarious.
 
I’ve been fooled! I thought that she would get to 500 pounds at the end of the 100 days of whatever. I did not realise that Amber would succeed in less than a week. So, what is the point of the whole exercise? She is obviously not dieting, thus she is not losing weight. She may as well call off this charade. At least she can be proud that she tried again.

My opinion has always been that she needs to have bariatric surgery in Mexico where they won’t ask her to diet prior to surgery and won’t ask her to see a psychologist.
 
My opinion has always been that she needs to have bariatric surgery in Mexico where they won’t ask her to diet prior to surgery and won’t ask her to see a psychologist.
That would be a disaster for her. She'd have no medical support network afterwards, and she'd still overeat on all the wrong foods by grazing all day. Success longterm after bariatric surgery requires complete lifestyle change, and Amber couldn't do that. While advances in surgical tools and techniques mean staplelines don't burst open these days (they did in bygone years when surgeons used just one line of staples rather than the six offset rows they do now) Amber would have her stomach stretch out again in record time.
It's one thing to lose weight, but it's another to train your body to keep it off once it's gone, which she's too fuckall to have bothered with. That's why any diet she chooses will never work. Her body still believes it's nearly 600 ellbees and will easily adjust to being that weight again.
Sure is. Losing weight and gaining weight are easy and just require a calorie deficit or surplus to requirement. Maintaining weight requires actually knowing your bodies exact caloric needs and providing that every day for the rest of your life. It's during maintenance phase that we also quickly learn that while a calorie is a scientific measure, our bodies don't handle all calories we injest the same. Our bodies aren't efficient users of all the food energy we give them.
 
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