- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
"I officially have a new psychologist."
Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
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🔧 Actively working on site again.
Mekahineyho
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
“That doesn’t mean I’m off track”
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
Gawd she's so crusty.
When will she be on crying about bullies and how her life is out of control? Any second now?
When will she be on crying about bullies and how her life is out of control? Any second now?
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
Okay, Super-Duper Lightning-Round Plot Summary (with Commentary). Readable in 120 seconds or less! Oh no, she's dragging out her words again. And this is a 27 minute vlog...fuck. Okay, I can still do this in 2 minutes! I think Coke said he'd be able to give a more detailed reeecap. ENGAGE!!
TL;DR: Amber shows a ridiculous workout plan which was obviously NOT from the clinic, but rather a rehash of one of her 2019 era bullshit workouts. Amber now has a new psychologist AGAIN, and has to do 12 therapy sessions for the WLS program. Amber shits on her audience. Amber puts an ad into her PO BOX unboxing segment. Amber reorganizes her bookshelf, and gets rid of 16 books she hasn't read yet. Elevated heart rate = anxiety.
Oh, and right after her video, I was recommended the video "How to Spot a Narcissist Before They Spot You". The funny part is that I booted up TailsOS before watching her on YouTube, which (other than blocking ads) made YouTube see me as a brand new account with no viewing history. YouTube Skynet has connected Amberlynn Reid and Narcissism.
Dusting and reorganizing her books. Her tastes have 'matured' from YA to thriller plot twisties. Getting rid of 16 books that she never read.
PO BOX TIME!! HAHAHA, she's now pre-checking some before opening them on camera. I guess she doesn't want another pee pads incident. She got: 2 bookmarks, 2 'blind bag' type books (Amber reads "seclusion" as "Sea Illusion"), 2 colouring books, and hideous slippers that look like the resulting spawn after a pair of crocs fucked a box of ping-pong balls. DISCOUNT CODE for the books - this segment is an AD.
Denies "her audience's" (Xenomorph's) suspicion that Ambo is sending this stuff to herself. She shits on her audience.
Therapy tells you to colour!
EXERCISE!!: Shows a ridiculous list of exercises which are NOT from the clinic, but rather 2019 post Shrimpgate exercises (eg: touch floor, arm ups, leg lifts), dated March 20 2022. I thought her crippling OCD would make her re-write pages with errors like that?
Anyway, IRRELEVANT: GO FOR A WALK! OUTSIDE! Touching toes doesn't burn any more calories than scratching your ass.
I just nearly broke my X key when Amber said she does CRUNCHES as part of her workout. I highly doubt you can actually properly engage (hehe, 'engage') your abs by doing a crunch WHEN YOUR CIRCUMFERENCE IS GREATER THAN YOUR HEIGHT.
Exercise gives her anxiety, because elevated heart rate equal anxiety. As being over 500 lbs causes everything to increase her heartrate, it's questionable if she even has 'anxiety' to the extent she claims.
Either way, IRRELVANT: If this scares you so much, STOP FUCKING EATING SO MUCH GOD-DAMNED FOOD. No, this is NOT rational: PUT THE FORK DOWN AND GO FOR A FUCKING WALK.
Exercise isn't releasing endorphins for you because you do fucking 'arm ups' and 'floor touches' and call that exercise.
WLS (non)UPDATE! She's been emailing the psychologist in charge. She still has her appointment with the team, but they want her to do 12 therapy sessions. She's bullied her way into getting a NEW psychologist (probably thinking that the notes and recommendations from the previous one won't be kept on her file).
She hasn't been showing her food lately because she fears 'judgement' and that people expect her to be on the pre-op diet. No, people expect that you will be on a FOOD RESTRICTION diet so you no longer eat 3500+ calories per day (which you still do), and are no longer maintaining over 500 lbs (which you still are).
THE AUDACITY!!! She HAS the nutritional information, she just won't follow it! That's what the surgery is for, DUH!! Not talking about weightloss doesn't equal not being on track!
Question of the Day: What are some of your favourite self-care things? Long story short: to Amber, INDULGENCE IS HER SELF-CARE. (cellphone games, LEGO)
PO BOX TIME!! HAHAHA, she's now pre-checking some before opening them on camera. I guess she doesn't want another pee pads incident. She got: 2 bookmarks, 2 'blind bag' type books (Amber reads "seclusion" as "Sea Illusion"), 2 colouring books, and hideous slippers that look like the resulting spawn after a pair of crocs fucked a box of ping-pong balls. DISCOUNT CODE for the books - this segment is an AD.
Denies "her audience's" (Xenomorph's) suspicion that Ambo is sending this stuff to herself. She shits on her audience.
Therapy tells you to colour!
EXERCISE!!: Shows a ridiculous list of exercises which are NOT from the clinic, but rather 2019 post Shrimpgate exercises (eg: touch floor, arm ups, leg lifts), dated March 20 2022. I thought her crippling OCD would make her re-write pages with errors like that?
Anyway, IRRELEVANT: GO FOR A WALK! OUTSIDE! Touching toes doesn't burn any more calories than scratching your ass.
I just nearly broke my X key when Amber said she does CRUNCHES as part of her workout. I highly doubt you can actually properly engage (hehe, 'engage') your abs by doing a crunch WHEN YOUR CIRCUMFERENCE IS GREATER THAN YOUR HEIGHT.
Exercise gives her anxiety, because elevated heart rate equal anxiety. As being over 500 lbs causes everything to increase her heartrate, it's questionable if she even has 'anxiety' to the extent she claims.
Either way, IRRELVANT: If this scares you so much, STOP FUCKING EATING SO MUCH GOD-DAMNED FOOD. No, this is NOT rational: PUT THE FORK DOWN AND GO FOR A FUCKING WALK.
Exercise isn't releasing endorphins for you because you do fucking 'arm ups' and 'floor touches' and call that exercise.
WLS (non)UPDATE! She's been emailing the psychologist in charge. She still has her appointment with the team, but they want her to do 12 therapy sessions. She's bullied her way into getting a NEW psychologist (probably thinking that the notes and recommendations from the previous one won't be kept on her file).
She hasn't been showing her food lately because she fears 'judgement' and that people expect her to be on the pre-op diet. No, people expect that you will be on a FOOD RESTRICTION diet so you no longer eat 3500+ calories per day (which you still do), and are no longer maintaining over 500 lbs (which you still are).
THE AUDACITY!!! She HAS the nutritional information, she just won't follow it! That's what the surgery is for, DUH!! Not talking about weightloss doesn't equal not being on track!
Question of the Day: What are some of your favourite self-care things? Long story short: to Amber, INDULGENCE IS HER SELF-CARE. (cellphone games, LEGO)
TL;DR: Amber shows a ridiculous workout plan which was obviously NOT from the clinic, but rather a rehash of one of her 2019 era bullshit workouts. Amber now has a new psychologist AGAIN, and has to do 12 therapy sessions for the WLS program. Amber shits on her audience. Amber puts an ad into her PO BOX unboxing segment. Amber reorganizes her bookshelf, and gets rid of 16 books she hasn't read yet. Elevated heart rate = anxiety.
Oh, and right after her video, I was recommended the video "How to Spot a Narcissist Before They Spot You". The funny part is that I booted up TailsOS before watching her on YouTube, which (other than blocking ads) made YouTube see me as a brand new account with no viewing history. YouTube Skynet has connected Amberlynn Reid and Narcissism.
Sodium-King-90
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2020
She looks absolutely fucking filthy... LOOK at those black racoon eyes.
"Something is happening that I... I don't really want to talk about on camera..."
What...? Your paid maid has decided she no longer wants to extend her hand inside your all-consuming ass-crack? You've been evicted due to stench complaints?
Gravity is doing her body untold damage... She looks melted.
"Something is happening that I... I don't really want to talk about on camera..."
What...? Your paid maid has decided she no longer wants to extend her hand inside your all-consuming ass-crack? You've been evicted due to stench complaints?
Gravity is doing her body untold damage... She looks melted.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
The best exercise for weight loss is pushing yourself away from the table.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
0:00 ‘Hello, Hello’ Hi, AL. Get back to your Hey Guise - it was much more energetic. This makes you sound like the corpse you look like. You a ratty mess, gorl. I mean, ratty greasy hair, no makeup, moon face pudgy and greasy, just ugh. She welcomes us to a new vlog, and I can’t help but notice that she’s set herself up so that her silver YouTube play button is clearly visible on the wall in the background. Can’t hang a mirror or a picture, but sure as shit can hang that play button.
0:05 We got the golf club whoosh-smack noise! It accompanies a place card reading ‘March 20 2022’ And yes, there are no commas or anything in that. Whatever. The font looks stupid, but that’s me being a little bitch because I have to remain sober as I have to drive after I’m done with this reeeeecap and I’m pissed about it.
0:10 Claims she just got back inside from taking Twinkie to ‘The Pots’, whatever that is. Oh, wait. Is this her retarded way of saying she took her dog out to take a shit? The fuck. AL. How many times have we said this forced abbreviation of everything you say makes you sound as retarded as you actually are? For someone with a supposed IQ of 140 (determined by playing Woodoku’s free advertisement, I’m willing to bet) you sure as fuck don’t project it. Moving on, she says she’s going to go through her bookshelf because it’s kind of time to dust ‘HER’ and go through ‘HER’ and organize ‘HER’ and that bookshelf is highly offended that you assumed its gender, you bulbous dipshit. It identifies as XE/XER. And a table. So fuck off. She then gets the most cunty fucking smug look on her face as she waggles her fat face back and forth snottily stating ‘I know you guys are gonna love that.’ And because I have been watching tons of detective interview videos lately with focus on body language and detecting deception, I know that her statement coupled with non-reflective body language means she a LAH. (But we all know that.)
0:22 Shows her cluttered fucking ‘bookshelf’ that has a PS3 and a Game Cube on it as well as books laid on top of other books and nothing in any discernible order. It is filthy as fuck and it’s obvious she cared more about cord management for the game systems (which don’t even appear to be plugged in, as the red power light on the PS3 isn’t lit) than the organization of her books (none of which shown damage to the spines - but there is a scrap of paper shoved into the first few pages of a Danielle Steel book on the bottom shelf). AL’s annoying whiny voice comes in stating that she’s doing a bit of spring cleaning (and then she acknowledges that she does it all year round - except given this layer of dust and shit, she obviously doesn’t). She tells us to stop hatin’, okay. And I smile and say ‘no.’ The camera pans up and the top the entertainment center she’s using as a bookshelf is even more dusty. Holy fuckwaffles. She keeps blathering about how she wanted to show us a ‘before’ picture (I thought before/after pictures were the definition of fatphobia kek). She describes what she’s going to do - go through her books, dust, organize her books in order of genre (I’m surprised she knew that word) because she realuhzed (that’s how she pronounces it) that what she used to enjoy reading (is too complex now that fat has smothered one of her three remaining braincells, and one is dedicated to running her involuntary survival processes) is something she hates now. Blathers on about how she ‘used to venture towards young adult things (dur) like suicide or foster care, addict, like people starting drugs’ And here we have the inspiration for all her stories about her childhood. ‘Like very much, like, serious topics but written in the perspective of a young adult.’ No, you were reading inspiration and/or shit that you felt you could relate to, because you lack the intellectual capacity to read about anything you’re unfamiliar with nor do you have the imagination required to immerse yourself in a setting that you can’t recall yourself having been in.
1:07 Sorry, had to break that up. Carrying on about book sperging. She proclaims that her previous young adult ‘serious’ books don’t entertain her as much anymore. She now prefers thrillers, psychological (??? Psychological WHAT, Amber? Psychological drama? Psychological horror? Psychological exploration? Psychology? You absolute dipshit. As a huge fan of psychological horror, I am lambasted that you just leave this fucking dangling like this. Me and my Silent Hill and Corpse Party game fetish throw our collective middle fingers at you), that kind of thing. She now wants a book with a good plot and a good twist (that she won’t understand), multiple twists, and she’ll be there for it. Except she’ll be staring at the pages going ‘wuuuuuuuuuh?’
1:27 Proclaims she’s going to take all her books, read the backs of them (and admits that’s going to take her forever) and then get rid of some. Bitch, we know that’s all you’ve ever done with most of those books in the first place. You read the back and then tried to give a whole ‘OMG, it’s shooo gud, you guys should totally read it!’ review based off of that.
1:38 Comes back with the books all stacked up like the books in the Brooklyn Library a la Ghostbusters. My Jenga senses are tingling because yikes, one of these looks like it’s on the verge of toppling over. Ugh, she seriously did this… so she could show us her ‘dusting,’ which doesn’t even involve product and a rag (I personally like Pledge) but rather a long-handled duster stick. That she lamely just swabs back and forth in the mounds of fucking dust. No wonder her place looks like absolute shit. She bitches as she cleans about how shit gets dusty so fast and then blames it on the animals she never cleans up after.
2:08 Shows her ‘after’ picture. At least there aren’t books laying on top of other books anymore. And what’s insulting is that ( a ) you can TELL she didn’t move the game shit, because there’s still a huge pile of dust under the curled cord for the PS3 controller, ( b ) you can tell there was no reason for books to be stacked on top of other books in the first place because there is a ton of room available for more books (and that room exceeds the room taken by the smattering that’s on top of the entertainment center) and ( c ) she’s wasted my time for this shit. She whines that this took her longer than she thought it would. This, by the way, is every single book that she has. Which doesn’t surprise me.
Pardon me while I hold my head and shriek, because her organizing this shit by apparent ‘genre’ has Danielle Steel books in totally different locations in her entertainment center rather than grouped together by author. (Why do I harp on these? Because the author name is really easy to see on the book, that’s why).
2:19 She waggles her fat paw around to show us where she has her books grouped. Says the shit on our right is her thriller ‘pop-twisty’ (though maybe that was ‘plot-twisty?’ But she enunciates like she has a cock in her mouth. Or maybe pudding) collection. Waggles her fat paw across the bottom of the view finder to tell us that those books are ‘less heavy in that.’ Then she says ‘I think that out of all of these books maybe 3 are gonna go’ and I’m screeching because there’s a couple stacks sitting on top of the fucking entertainment center, not filed in with everything else. (Also note that all her precious VC Summers books she was goobing over not too long ago are shoved onto the side of shame.) She proclaims that her reading has matured as she started reading more, and I am pondering if she’s at 2nd or 3rd grade level yet. She then proclaims that even at 32 it’s fine to read young adult books because there’s some ‘crazy’ ones out there.
And sure, fluff reading every now and again is fine. We don’t all have to sit down with A Thousand Nights and a Night or The Art of War or Moby Dick at all times, but for fuck’s sake, at least have something intellectually stimulating in your collection of dumbassery. Reading something like The Hunt for Red October is a great brain relief after plowing through Ulysses. Oops, sorry, book-snobbery-mode off. Let’s get back into ‘wish I was drunk right now reeeeeecapper’ mode.
2:52 Shows us the ones she’s getting rid of. These are the ones stacked on top of the entertainment center. Why, there’s a VC Andrews book there! Shattered Memories. Also getting rid of a bunch of YA books (one about a hitchhiker, one about a runaway girl, one about a girl recovering from anorexia (LOLOLOLOL) - summaries provided via Google, so there ya go). These all look like shit I wouldn’t touch, so Imma just throw the titles at y’all, if I can read them. Shattered Memories, Calling Maggie May, Glimmer, Jay’s Journal, Life as we Knew it, Orbiting Jupiter, Sleeping Tom, Unloved, What I lost, Dry, Fright Night, Of Stars, Perfect, A List of Cages, Fighting Words, something by Kristin Hannah I can’t read because I’m watching this on stupid-low potato quality, and a book buried under Life as we Knew it that I can’t really see. What should surprise no one is that most of these books have perfect covers, perfect spines and gleaming white pages, and therefore were likely never opened. Only Glimmer has a cracked spine.
2:55 LOLOLOLOL OH FUCK. Playing the video for 3 seconds, she confirms exactly what I suspected. She hasn’t read any of these books. She proclaims she’s not interested in doing so. Another spur-of-the-moment purchase bites the dust. In this case, multiple purchases bite the dust.
3:01 Now she’s ‘cookeeeen’. Has broccoli in a pan. No visible cooking medium. Just broccoli. Has rice going in a pot. F/JFoNY:MGF,W is making sauce in a pan for her homemade meatballs, which are in a liquid measuring cup for some odd reason. AL acknowledges that she hasn’t been showing her food lately as she lamely stirs her broccoli in the pan, and promises to tell us the reason why later in the video. But she figured ‘screw it, this is what I’m eatin’.’ AKA: she’s desperate for fluff content and had to include it. Except this video is 27 minutes of agony, so it wasn’t necessary.
3:39 PO Box time. Ugh. Wash your foul hair, you beast. Oh, one second later we get golf-club whoosh and placard reading ‘P.O. Box Time!’ Whatever. She opens with giving us her PO Box address
Amber Reid
P.O. Box 23937
Lexington ky 40523
And I am cringing up a storm that she didn’t fucking capitalize the state abbreviation. This… illiterate… fuck.
Anyway, she holds up a white package in front of her face in her sausage fingers. It’s from Holly’s Enchanted Books. So something she ordered for herself. She gushes about the packaging being Shoooo Cyuuuuute, of course, because she likely ordered it as a ‘gift’ and they wrapped them. Apparently this is ‘like blind date with a book, which is shoo cyuuute I luv this’ and ugh. You just got rid of books you’ve NEVER FUCKING READ, you dipshit, and now you’re ordering blind-bag books? The fuck? Guess you gotta consoooooom.
4:08 ‘So, she has a business’
…
…
…
NO SHIT.
AL got bookmarks from this place (guess that’s the free item they throw in - AeroTech, the place I order a lot of bike kit from, sends free bottle openers shaped like bicycles, which is perfect for beer runs. It’s not uncommon to get a smidge of free swag). AL thinks these bookmarks are so special and shit. Which she calls ‘bookmakers.’ And my brain has ceased to function. AL proclaims that you can tell ‘she did this herself’ because it’s on wood and ‘shoo cyuuuute’.
4:20 AL takes a few minutes to blather about this girl’s channel where she talks about books. And then she stumps for this girl’s Etsy shop. Ten to one AL ordered these bookmarks, because they go for anywhere from $4 to $15 a piece on Etsy depending on the talent of the artist and the detail in the painting. AL is reading right off the placard included in the package as she tells us everything this girl Holly has on her Etsy site. Then she tells us she has a ‘discode’ because apparently ‘discount code’ is too hard to say. AL corrects herself a few moments later, because easier to look like a baboon on camera than edit your shit.
Conveniently enough, this discount code is ALR15. Yo, did anyone go to AL’s YouTube page to see if she’s mentioned this sponsorship in her description? Because my ass never goes - I just copied the link to her YouTube video and plastered it directly into an archiver to watch it without giving her traffic because the archive on the site wasn’t working. So yeah, this code gets you 15% off.
She holds up the package. The tape looks like hell because this person didn’t use giftwrapping tape that goes onto black paper clear. But whatever, shooo cyuuuuute. What cracks me up is that AL holds her books up going ‘but look how freaking adorable!’ after showing us the botch that is the back of the packaging.
One has ‘Mystery’ written on the top with ‘beautiful island with a murderous past, six gorgeous friends, seclusion, missing people, murder’ written on the front. The other says ‘YA Contemp’ and I have no idea what that means. Under that is written ‘Matchmaking, mean girls, family business, finding love with an app’ and I’m whining because this is the exact bullshit she says doesn’t entertain her anymore. But she had to specifically want this type of book to be sent this type of book. What a fucking buffoon.
Ah, AL explains that ‘YA Contemp’ means Young Adult Contemporary. Imma ram my face into a wall, kthxbai
Also, AL can’t read the word seclusion. ‘Seeee clussion?’ Yes, AL. That’s exactly it.
Proclaims she’s going to put them on her shelf and not even unwrap them. She’ll unwrap them in a future vlog. Of course, AL is obsessed.
5:45 Next package. Amazon package. AL pauses to address ‘rumors’ (aka: the truth) that she’s sending this stuff to herself. She says she has people who love her and enjoy her and support her and who she makes friends with. She goes off into a huge tangent that the reaction channels’ community hates her, but that’s not everyone, hayyydurs! I especially smirk when she says ‘your community thinks I’m a liar,’ especially given how many ‘what I’ve lied about’ videos she’s done in the past that she’s pidgeon-holed because she’s not a liar except when she is. She proclaims she’s not sending this shit to herself, and that when she does she announces it as an ‘Amazon haul’ except she makes no real distinction. Brings up that instance where someone sent her incontinence pads. Specifically states that person was ‘rude and crool’ (because fuck if she can say cruel) but she ‘didn’t let it get to her’ (namely because she’s too stupid to realize that they’re incontinence pads and thought they were menstrual pads). Then she goes on about how people want to take the fun out of everything and waaaaaaah. She tries throwing shade at reaction channels saying that they’ve got to create drama because they’re boring and they can’t create their own content (Seriously, if they’re reacting and they’re boring, that means their source material, ie YOU are boring as fuck if they can’t elevate your crap to something resembling entertainment). She seriously whined about this shit for over two minute. Gah. Open your stupid package you ordered yourself. Oops, that a totally loving and loyal friend sent you. My bad.
8:00 FINALLY into the package. She reads the stupid note. ‘Oh my goooosh!’ Stop with the fake surprise. Someone named Theresa sent her coloring books that she illustrated. Sounds like… dun dun dun! Another small business sponsorship? Maybe? Maaaaaybe? Or something that AL ordered. She’s flabbergasted that someone can actually create coloring books, and holds up ‘Get your Cray On’ (which like everything else in the fucking universe is shooo cyuuuute and really just looks like basic bitch coloring book shit with mandalas that you’d pick up in Walmart or something. No offense to the artist, but that’s pretty basic shit. It’s filled with mandalas with inspirational statements in the centers. Yup. Move on.) AL is obsessed because it says nice shit that strokes her narc ego just right.
8:39 Holds up the second coloring book. It’s ‘Blooming’ Letters’ which is ‘shooo pretty.’ She’s obsessed with this one, too. Because that’s all she can be. Obsessed. At least this one’s a little more creative than the overdone mandalas with quotes found off google in the centers. AL goes on and on about how coloring can be ‘great self love’ because it’s therapeutic. ‘Self-care, self-love, same thing’ she says. Then she waxes on about how a lot of people get on to her because she likes to color but how it’s good for you.
9:15 Now she waggles around an envelope. At least she’s careful to show the back as to not dox the moron who sent her this card. She does snottily go on about how she’s sending herself shit because she’s a massive cunt and can’t drop something when she’s been narc injured.
9:35 Holds up a card straight from the stationary section of any grocery store or big box store. Features a red bird tweeting ‘hello’. AL proclaims it’s ‘shooo pretty’. She’s impressed by the fact that there’s texture. This blob would be impressed by the fact that grass is made of individual plant leaves, I swear. She proclaims she’s going to read it in private, then after a jump edit thanks ‘Code V’ for the card. I have no fucking clue. Once again, cock-in-mouth enunciation fucks with my limited hearing.
9:43 Now we’re on to another package. She says ‘we get a lot of packages and I don’t want to do a ton’ but then talks about how she and F/JFoNY:MGF,W keep feeling this one particular package and are curious as to what’s in it. She fondles said package in front of us lewdly. I want to drink but must drive soon. My life is agony. But we hear F/JFoNY:MGF,W’s voice as AL stupidly says that she thought there were eggs in there, and F/JFoNY:MGF,W says no, she thought they were shoes. AL insists that it’s an egg carton. F/JFoNY:MGF,W says to shake it. AL waggles her hands at her camera saying that if anyone sends her something crazy she can figure out who did it because there’s tracking and shit.
I laugh because she’s a dumbass if she thinks tracking someone who wants to be anonymous and troll the fuck outta her is that easy. I can guarantee that if Diet Coke 4 Life were to have been inspired to send her actual shit when it was being sold by Cards Against Humanity, there would’ve been no way to track it to the person behind that internet name.
10:15 Oh, she’s so skeeeeeeered to open this package. Ya know, AL, this is why nobody believes that you aren’t puchasing most’ve those other packages for yourself. You aren’t scared to open them. There’s none of this fake anxiety bullshit. Which means you already have an idea as to what’s in it.
10:24 So this fucking hephalump had F/JFoNY:MGF,W open it for them because she was too skeeeeered. And then she squeals that she saw whatever the fuck it is on TikTok. And yes, they’re shoes. They’re tacky, terrible looking shoes. They’re from ‘Bob and Christina.’ She apologizes for being skeeeered and delaying opening the shit.
Imma just throw a picture here because fuck trying to describe this tacky shit.
There ya go.
11:15 AL threatens us with future package opening bullshit because she has other shit just sitting around waiting for her to bother to film it. She says she could just make a whole video about that shit after taking a moment to laugh about something off-screen that our professional YouTuber couldn’t bother editing out of her schlocky shit video. Don’t threaten me with a good time, AL. And by a good time, I mean a drunk time, because my ass would be chugging everything in the house to slog through that crap unless some other brave soul reeeecapped it. Fortunately she says she just likes sprinkling it into her other nontent. My liver is safe(ish).
11:45 Waddling footage of her shuffling around the stankpartment in her egg-crate shoes. They look like shit.
BTW, for autists amongst us, she takes approximately 3.5 steps per plank-length of the luxury vinyl flooring in her house. So 3.5 steps per every 36” of distance travelled. Bitch’s steps are less than a foot forward. That prior talk about fucked up gait? Yup.
12:11 Films her face yet again, starting off with ‘you guise, low-key’ and then her poop bun flops forward, distracting her into a ‘dang, my hair is a mess!’ tangent. It’s also greasy and disgusting. Wash that shit. She continues on her original statement, which was about the comfort of those terrible shoes. Ten to one, the batting in them is flattened in less than a month. She says ‘for around the house? Hell yeah.’ And seeing as how that’s the only place she goes, she’ll be wearing them until they’re demolished.
12:24 Jump-cut to her in a corner. She says she’s ‘acktuly' had people ask her if she’s been exercising and moving more. She says she has. And then she honestly doesn’t talk about everything in her life. Nope, she leaves out what could be potentially interesting content and gives us being shoooo skeeeeered about a package of shoes instead. Or stirring around dry broccoli in a teflon pan.
12:46 She holds up a piece of paper and says she writes down what she’s going to do (this says she’s doing… it’s hard to read on very low quality… all I can make out is crunches LMFAO NOPE (her gunt doesn’t allow enough motion for her to be capable of engaging the muscles required to execute a crunch) and walk in place (that one’s reasonable) and sitting leg kicks and there’s something to do with the floor. I dunno, her writing is shit and the quality of this video is potato.
Bitch, you love apps so much. Get yourself on Strava. Record your shit there. (Then I can follow you there and snigger like a moron)
Explains what she does: 3 sets, records how many reps she did in that set, tries to do more than she did the day before. She stretches, walks in place, warmups, crunches, leg kicks, punches and high knees. She says she does reps until she’s no longer really comfortable - then states that comfortable isn’t the right word, but that she goes until she can’t do it anymore without hurting herself. Which given her low tolerance for any discomfort, is prior to her actually getting any benefit from any of her exercises.
13:44 Proclaims she’s going to go work out, but she’s not going to film it because fuck you, that’s why. Most likely so the fitness influencer types can’t tear apart her form and instruct her on how to properly exercise in her condition, and tell her that she’s cutting her exercises off before she sees any benefit from it.
13:59 Now she gives us a clearer picture of her horrible writing and her exercise chart.
-Stretches by touching floor
-Walk in place
-Warm(??? This one’s illegible EDIT: ARM. She shows it later.) ups
-Crunches
-Leg kicks sitting
-Punches
-High Knees
14:14 At first, I thought she was saying people were telling her to get a candle. But I think people are telling her to get a Kindle. And she says she has one, but she prefers actual books. Not gonna lie, I can relate to this. Turning pages is much more satisfying than scrolling.
14:26 Shows us her exercise page filled out. Simple checkmarks by ‘stretch by touching floor (and she puts a stupid little heart above her i’s to dot them. WTF. I thought most kids grew out of that by middle school?). Walked in place for 1:10, then 1:15, then 1:20 for the final set. Arm ups are 12, then 15, then 17. Crunches she did 15 each time (guaranteed it wasn’t an actual crunch). Leg kicks, 10, 11, 12. Punches 22, 24, 30. High knees, 14, 20, 20. But then she explains that the ‘w’ and ’s’ she wrote after things (w after legs, punches and arm ups, s after high knees) that w stands for whole and so both arms, and s means separate….? So does that mean she actually did only 7/10/10 high knee sets? That’s what I’m reading into it.
GORL. You in terrible shape.
Also, we know your high knees ain’t very high, because your gunt is in the way.
15:00 Says she wanted to talk about her exercising today because she says she gets anxiety exercising. Like ‘verge of panic attack’ and it’s scaaaaawwwwwy. Apparently what gives her anxiety is having an elevated heart rate. She says ‘it’s at a real good rate when I exercise’ which either means she has no idea what a good rate is for her age group or she isn’t working out hard enough to elevate her heart rate sufficiently (she gives no numbers, so I don’t know. I’m thinking of persons like, at the risk of PLing, myself with a resting heart rate in the high 50s who gets into the 70s during a good walk, 100s warming up for a run, 150s during a 5k/Z3 cycling workouts and 170s during fucking VO2 sprint efforts. I wish she’d give me numbers so I could properly either support or lambast her. Like April Lauren who showed her fucking walk-jogging heart rate during one of her mile for time efforts screeching into the 170 range. Where we said ‘gorl, get yourself walking enough that your heart rate doesn’t reach such astronomical levels BEFORE you try running! WTF!!!’ and she went on to pretend to start training for a half-marathon before possibly moving to Hawaii.). AL, what is your resting heart rate? What elevation is scaring you so much? Are you hitting the 170s walking in place? If so, maybe you should look at that pool your apartment complex has and start with some nice water aerobics. Build your cardiovascular health slowly but surely. If you’re reading this thread, fucking hit me up in my ‘farms DMs (making an account is easy, I promise - unless you’re DC Media Girl and too retarded to do so, of course) and I promise not to mock you if you’re legit coming for aid. I’m sure there are other fitness-inclined kiwis who’d aid you as well with minimal mocking.
But as long as you’re going to be a vague anxiety-riddled dipshit who does nothing to actually improve her situation, we’re going to call you a retarded faggot.
You retarded faggot.
Sorry, tangent done. Back to reeeeecapping.
15:55 Ah, AL is asspatting herself for working through her anxiety and exercising. Pffff. She then goes on to say she ‘hates’ the feeling she has, which I’m taking as her low-key stating that she despises exercise and is likely only doing it because of WLS hopes/prayers and F/JFoNY:MGF,W giving her the stank eye. AL then goes on to say that she feels her anxiety over exercise isn’t irrational because of the size she’s at. No shit. Which is why you should be doing appropriate exercises recommended to you by a trainer or physician, not what looks easy/feasible/fun to you.
She goes on and on about how this is a rational fear, so she can’t get over it. Now if we knew some fucking numbers, it’d be easier to tell her if this is rational or not. And sorry, I’ll break off this tangent. Gonna pour some coffee and return to this nonsense.
17:15 AH YEAH, THERE IT IS. She doesn’t want to talk about her exercising because ‘it doesn’t bring me joy like it would to other people.’ AKA: If she doesn’t talk about what she’s (not) doing, she can quit at any time and nobody’d be the wiser. Because she hates it. She gripes about people talking about the endorphin release from exercise, and she scoffs and says ‘not me!’ Because she’s a lazy sack of fat-riddled shit who wouldn’t know the joy of success if it bitchslapped her across the face.
17:40 Ah, now we’re doing WLS updates. Seven seconds later we get golf club whack and ‘WLS UPDATE’ placard. The psychiatrist who ‘approved’ her originally has been getting spammed by her with email. She says they’re regularly emailing, and there’s some things that are going on that she’ll talk about event… ya know, no. We ain’t doing that shit.
If she is being intentionally vague with ‘there’s stuff going on that I’m not going to talk about’ and crap, just look for me saying LOLZFU.
So she’s been emailing her psychiatrist the originally ‘approved’ her and LOLZFU but she’ll talk about my snack in a future video. Because she needs to protect herself, HER MENTAL (that’s exactly what this illiterate weasle says) and her privacy LOLZFU. But there’ve been developments LOLZFU. She has her appointment with the team. She says she thinks things might be different. Says right now, they want her to do 12 sessions with a therapist.
She brightens up stating she can do 2 sessions a week with this therapist, so I think dipshit here believes she can get through her ‘fuck you no’ received earlier IRT WLS in 6 weeks. She then says she can do 1 session every 2 weeks. ‘So obviously, the quicker I do it, the better.’
I giggle, because this is one of so many wickets that have to be met. Ten to one says she thinks these 12 sessions are the only thing standing between her and surgery.
18:50 So she ‘officially’ has a new psychologist. She’s ‘really excited’ and then talks about the psychologist who originally approved… her… for…
Wait. I thought she said psychiatrist.
I’m sorry, guise and gorls. I forgot that this is AL, and psychiatrists and psychologists are interchangable in her tiny little brain.
19:10 Now she blathers on about how she asked her old psychologist if there was anyone he’d recommend for her. Apparently he sent over 6, and she chose one. Y’all know this was an emailed list of names and she fucking einie-meanie-miney-moe’d that shit.
19:23 Good news, though - she got over her phone anxiety and called her new therapist to make an appointment. That appointment is ‘coming up.’ She prattles on stating that ‘depending on how this session goes, that will be a deciding factor for me if I want to do 2 a week or if I want to do 1 a week or how I want to do it.’ Obviously, she’ll do 3 of these and then we’ll never hear about it again. She actually immediate says she doesn’t want to be ‘too extreme and do it twice a week’ because goodness knows our gorl’s busy schedule of cooking shit food, shuffling around her stankpartment and watching TikTok and YouTube videos can’t be interrupted for therapy. And she clarifies what I suspected. She thinks this is all that’s standing between her and weightloss surgery. She states ‘I don’t want to do this every other week, because obviously I want the weightloss surgery, the sooner the better.’
She’s thinking she’ll meet all wickets by 1.5 months to 3 months. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
20:05 Now getting into why she doesn’t show her food. It’s because people judge. No shit, AL. ‘The judgement makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong even though I know what I’m doing is right.’ Narc-speak engaged! She’s doing everything right! Her slop is right! Her sodium levels being in uncharted territory is right!! Fuck you, haydurs!
20:28 ‘People are expecting me to be on the pre-op diet. I’m not on the pre-op diet.’ Because you’re not getting WLS. Duh. She actually says it: ‘I’m not approved for WLS, so I’m not on the pre-op diet.’ But she was approved by her psychologist/psychiatrist/dietician/other random people. AL, get’cher stories straight. Maybe use one of your 2,000,000,000 journals to write your stories and your lies so you can keep track of them. Like we’ve been recommending for literally YEARS. Ahem. She says people are getting really confused about that, and it’s frustrating for her because people are expecting her to eat ‘the tiniest amount of food ever.’ Claims her dietician is directing her diet. I’m wondering if this is an actual person or a voice in her gargantuan noggin. Then she goes off on how she got criticism for having 2 ayyyggs and 2 servings of Spam.
aka: Sodium Bomb. Which doesn’t help your lipodema. Lymphodema. Lymphipodema, or whatever the fuck we wanna call this shit.
AL whines about how people were coming for her, focusing on the eggs and how people were saying it looked like 5 eggs and she revisits her ayyyyyygg intolerance. And then says it comes and goes, and it’s gotten a lot better.
That’s not how food intolerance works, AL.
21:40 Oh, now she’s going off on some quinoa ground turkey situatioFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU that she had. That she claimed was less than 500 calories but is waaaaay over 500 calories. She claims that the calories came right off the nutrition packet. Except, ya know, anyone with eyes who’s made quinoa and had guacamole and had ground turkey knows that comes up to over 500 calories. AL is offended because people told her that her bowl of shit was far more than she told us, and she whines that she ‘knows how to count calories’ except you don’t, AL. (for reference, the quinoa she had, estimating approximately 1 cup of cooked quinoa, was about 220 calories. 1/3 cup of guac was 120 calories. 1/2 cup of ground turkey was 150 calories. That right there is 490. Plus your veg. 500 calories, dipshit. And my guess is my guestimation as to how much was in your bowl was short, because that was a large bowl)
AL does proclaim that she’s an idiot and doesn’t count calories even though she apparently knows how to do so. She admits to not doing the right things long term, but ‘that’s why weight loss surgery is there.’
LOLOLOLOL
Weightloss surgery involves long term lifestyle alteration, you dumb shit. Otherwise you reverse the benefit of the surgery. It is there to AID you in maintaining those life long lifestyle changes to reach and maintain a healthy weight. You dumb fuckwad.
You’re never getting approved, AL.
22:50 She whines more about her audience. Of course not her supportive dipshits, but those who actually ponder what she’s putting out there. She lectures that people need to focus on themselves instead of on her, even though she’s the dipshit putting her life on YouTube for shackles. Even after years of doing this shit, she doesn’t comprehend that judgement is the consequence of putting yourself out there as a public figure - or rather she understands, but doesn’t like it because people can see through her dipshittery and retardation.
24:10 Her lack of transparency is YOUR FAULT, AUDIENCE. FUCK YOU. She whines about how she’d love to show us what she’s making and what she’s eating and what she’s doing, but ‘she doesn’t feel safe’ and she feels judged and whaaaaaaaaaaa my audience is meeeeeeeeeean except those who gimme asspats!
Guess we need another frog invasion, yeah?
24:35 Proclaims that just because she ain’t tellin’ us shit doesn’t mean that she’s off track and gaining weight. She says ‘it doesn’t mean I’m gaining weight, because I’m not telling you guys my weight.’ But we can see it in your inflating face, AL. And the fact that your maxi dress try-on looked very similar to your last maxi dress try-on, except your ass has lost its perkiness and sagged down to your thighs. You’re as rotund as ever. Easily mid 500s.
She goes on to say that every time she’s lost a large chunk of weight, it’s becauseher keepers locked the fridge cancer she didn’t talk about her weigh-ins. Which is bullshit. We know if you lost significant weight you’d proudly post that shit. Because you’ve done it before.
25:05 ‘I do better when I don’t have to prove myself to people. That’s not why I’m here. I’m not here to prove myself to anybody.’ Hello, your years of YouTube videos would like to talk to you, AL.
She is STILL FUCKING WHINING about her audience and saying she won’t provide anything for people to ‘pick apart’ because she doesn’t like the criticism. Holy fuck, gorl. Shaddup. Go outside. Film yourself physically touching grass. There’s got to be some around Lexington by now.
25:51 Ah, she still wants to do ‘comment’ of the day (even though it’s supposed to be ‘question’ but she is so intrenched in saying ‘comment’ she slips up… and can’t fucking edit her own shit because lazy). But she’s STILL WHINING ABOUT HER AUDIENCE. GAH, SHADDUP.
26:02 Finally on to the question of the day, from Instagram. Golf-club placcard “Question of the Day!”
“What are some of your favorite self care things? (Shopping, journaling, etc.)!??”
Nice question to ask yourself. Her answer:
‘Journaling used to be a big one for me, but now I firmly believe self care is also like self love and doing things that you love. Things that put you in a good like therapeutic state or just like calming state, um, and for some people that’s meditation, for some people that’s yoga, for me it’s things like art, like poetry, or it’s things as simple as doing legos. Like the tediousness of it all, like I literally love it. And I also like to play like games on my phone.’
Fuckadoodle. Shaddup.
She signs off with her filthy fucking kiss bullshit and I need to get this car trip done fast so I can drown my woes in whiskey.
0:05 We got the golf club whoosh-smack noise! It accompanies a place card reading ‘March 20 2022’ And yes, there are no commas or anything in that. Whatever. The font looks stupid, but that’s me being a little bitch because I have to remain sober as I have to drive after I’m done with this reeeeecap and I’m pissed about it.
0:10 Claims she just got back inside from taking Twinkie to ‘The Pots’, whatever that is. Oh, wait. Is this her retarded way of saying she took her dog out to take a shit? The fuck. AL. How many times have we said this forced abbreviation of everything you say makes you sound as retarded as you actually are? For someone with a supposed IQ of 140 (determined by playing Woodoku’s free advertisement, I’m willing to bet) you sure as fuck don’t project it. Moving on, she says she’s going to go through her bookshelf because it’s kind of time to dust ‘HER’ and go through ‘HER’ and organize ‘HER’ and that bookshelf is highly offended that you assumed its gender, you bulbous dipshit. It identifies as XE/XER. And a table. So fuck off. She then gets the most cunty fucking smug look on her face as she waggles her fat face back and forth snottily stating ‘I know you guys are gonna love that.’ And because I have been watching tons of detective interview videos lately with focus on body language and detecting deception, I know that her statement coupled with non-reflective body language means she a LAH. (But we all know that.)
0:22 Shows her cluttered fucking ‘bookshelf’ that has a PS3 and a Game Cube on it as well as books laid on top of other books and nothing in any discernible order. It is filthy as fuck and it’s obvious she cared more about cord management for the game systems (which don’t even appear to be plugged in, as the red power light on the PS3 isn’t lit) than the organization of her books (none of which shown damage to the spines - but there is a scrap of paper shoved into the first few pages of a Danielle Steel book on the bottom shelf). AL’s annoying whiny voice comes in stating that she’s doing a bit of spring cleaning (and then she acknowledges that she does it all year round - except given this layer of dust and shit, she obviously doesn’t). She tells us to stop hatin’, okay. And I smile and say ‘no.’ The camera pans up and the top the entertainment center she’s using as a bookshelf is even more dusty. Holy fuckwaffles. She keeps blathering about how she wanted to show us a ‘before’ picture (I thought before/after pictures were the definition of fatphobia kek). She describes what she’s going to do - go through her books, dust, organize her books in order of genre (I’m surprised she knew that word) because she realuhzed (that’s how she pronounces it) that what she used to enjoy reading (is too complex now that fat has smothered one of her three remaining braincells, and one is dedicated to running her involuntary survival processes) is something she hates now. Blathers on about how she ‘used to venture towards young adult things (dur) like suicide or foster care, addict, like people starting drugs’ And here we have the inspiration for all her stories about her childhood. ‘Like very much, like, serious topics but written in the perspective of a young adult.’ No, you were reading inspiration and/or shit that you felt you could relate to, because you lack the intellectual capacity to read about anything you’re unfamiliar with nor do you have the imagination required to immerse yourself in a setting that you can’t recall yourself having been in.
1:07 Sorry, had to break that up. Carrying on about book sperging. She proclaims that her previous young adult ‘serious’ books don’t entertain her as much anymore. She now prefers thrillers, psychological (??? Psychological WHAT, Amber? Psychological drama? Psychological horror? Psychological exploration? Psychology? You absolute dipshit. As a huge fan of psychological horror, I am lambasted that you just leave this fucking dangling like this. Me and my Silent Hill and Corpse Party game fetish throw our collective middle fingers at you), that kind of thing. She now wants a book with a good plot and a good twist (that she won’t understand), multiple twists, and she’ll be there for it. Except she’ll be staring at the pages going ‘wuuuuuuuuuh?’
1:27 Proclaims she’s going to take all her books, read the backs of them (and admits that’s going to take her forever) and then get rid of some. Bitch, we know that’s all you’ve ever done with most of those books in the first place. You read the back and then tried to give a whole ‘OMG, it’s shooo gud, you guys should totally read it!’ review based off of that.
1:38 Comes back with the books all stacked up like the books in the Brooklyn Library a la Ghostbusters. My Jenga senses are tingling because yikes, one of these looks like it’s on the verge of toppling over. Ugh, she seriously did this… so she could show us her ‘dusting,’ which doesn’t even involve product and a rag (I personally like Pledge) but rather a long-handled duster stick. That she lamely just swabs back and forth in the mounds of fucking dust. No wonder her place looks like absolute shit. She bitches as she cleans about how shit gets dusty so fast and then blames it on the animals she never cleans up after.
2:08 Shows her ‘after’ picture. At least there aren’t books laying on top of other books anymore. And what’s insulting is that ( a ) you can TELL she didn’t move the game shit, because there’s still a huge pile of dust under the curled cord for the PS3 controller, ( b ) you can tell there was no reason for books to be stacked on top of other books in the first place because there is a ton of room available for more books (and that room exceeds the room taken by the smattering that’s on top of the entertainment center) and ( c ) she’s wasted my time for this shit. She whines that this took her longer than she thought it would. This, by the way, is every single book that she has. Which doesn’t surprise me.
Pardon me while I hold my head and shriek, because her organizing this shit by apparent ‘genre’ has Danielle Steel books in totally different locations in her entertainment center rather than grouped together by author. (Why do I harp on these? Because the author name is really easy to see on the book, that’s why).
2:19 She waggles her fat paw around to show us where she has her books grouped. Says the shit on our right is her thriller ‘pop-twisty’ (though maybe that was ‘plot-twisty?’ But she enunciates like she has a cock in her mouth. Or maybe pudding) collection. Waggles her fat paw across the bottom of the view finder to tell us that those books are ‘less heavy in that.’ Then she says ‘I think that out of all of these books maybe 3 are gonna go’ and I’m screeching because there’s a couple stacks sitting on top of the fucking entertainment center, not filed in with everything else. (Also note that all her precious VC Summers books she was goobing over not too long ago are shoved onto the side of shame.) She proclaims that her reading has matured as she started reading more, and I am pondering if she’s at 2nd or 3rd grade level yet. She then proclaims that even at 32 it’s fine to read young adult books because there’s some ‘crazy’ ones out there.
And sure, fluff reading every now and again is fine. We don’t all have to sit down with A Thousand Nights and a Night or The Art of War or Moby Dick at all times, but for fuck’s sake, at least have something intellectually stimulating in your collection of dumbassery. Reading something like The Hunt for Red October is a great brain relief after plowing through Ulysses. Oops, sorry, book-snobbery-mode off. Let’s get back into ‘wish I was drunk right now reeeeeecapper’ mode.
2:52 Shows us the ones she’s getting rid of. These are the ones stacked on top of the entertainment center. Why, there’s a VC Andrews book there! Shattered Memories. Also getting rid of a bunch of YA books (one about a hitchhiker, one about a runaway girl, one about a girl recovering from anorexia (LOLOLOLOL) - summaries provided via Google, so there ya go). These all look like shit I wouldn’t touch, so Imma just throw the titles at y’all, if I can read them. Shattered Memories, Calling Maggie May, Glimmer, Jay’s Journal, Life as we Knew it, Orbiting Jupiter, Sleeping Tom, Unloved, What I lost, Dry, Fright Night, Of Stars, Perfect, A List of Cages, Fighting Words, something by Kristin Hannah I can’t read because I’m watching this on stupid-low potato quality, and a book buried under Life as we Knew it that I can’t really see. What should surprise no one is that most of these books have perfect covers, perfect spines and gleaming white pages, and therefore were likely never opened. Only Glimmer has a cracked spine.
2:55 LOLOLOLOL OH FUCK. Playing the video for 3 seconds, she confirms exactly what I suspected. She hasn’t read any of these books. She proclaims she’s not interested in doing so. Another spur-of-the-moment purchase bites the dust. In this case, multiple purchases bite the dust.
3:01 Now she’s ‘cookeeeen’. Has broccoli in a pan. No visible cooking medium. Just broccoli. Has rice going in a pot. F/JFoNY:MGF,W is making sauce in a pan for her homemade meatballs, which are in a liquid measuring cup for some odd reason. AL acknowledges that she hasn’t been showing her food lately as she lamely stirs her broccoli in the pan, and promises to tell us the reason why later in the video. But she figured ‘screw it, this is what I’m eatin’.’ AKA: she’s desperate for fluff content and had to include it. Except this video is 27 minutes of agony, so it wasn’t necessary.
3:39 PO Box time. Ugh. Wash your foul hair, you beast. Oh, one second later we get golf-club whoosh and placard reading ‘P.O. Box Time!’ Whatever. She opens with giving us her PO Box address
Amber Reid
P.O. Box 23937
Lexington ky 40523
And I am cringing up a storm that she didn’t fucking capitalize the state abbreviation. This… illiterate… fuck.
Anyway, she holds up a white package in front of her face in her sausage fingers. It’s from Holly’s Enchanted Books. So something she ordered for herself. She gushes about the packaging being Shoooo Cyuuuuute, of course, because she likely ordered it as a ‘gift’ and they wrapped them. Apparently this is ‘like blind date with a book, which is shoo cyuuute I luv this’ and ugh. You just got rid of books you’ve NEVER FUCKING READ, you dipshit, and now you’re ordering blind-bag books? The fuck? Guess you gotta consoooooom.
4:08 ‘So, she has a business’
…
…
…
NO SHIT.
AL got bookmarks from this place (guess that’s the free item they throw in - AeroTech, the place I order a lot of bike kit from, sends free bottle openers shaped like bicycles, which is perfect for beer runs. It’s not uncommon to get a smidge of free swag). AL thinks these bookmarks are so special and shit. Which she calls ‘bookmakers.’ And my brain has ceased to function. AL proclaims that you can tell ‘she did this herself’ because it’s on wood and ‘shoo cyuuuute’.
4:20 AL takes a few minutes to blather about this girl’s channel where she talks about books. And then she stumps for this girl’s Etsy shop. Ten to one AL ordered these bookmarks, because they go for anywhere from $4 to $15 a piece on Etsy depending on the talent of the artist and the detail in the painting. AL is reading right off the placard included in the package as she tells us everything this girl Holly has on her Etsy site. Then she tells us she has a ‘discode’ because apparently ‘discount code’ is too hard to say. AL corrects herself a few moments later, because easier to look like a baboon on camera than edit your shit.
Conveniently enough, this discount code is ALR15. Yo, did anyone go to AL’s YouTube page to see if she’s mentioned this sponsorship in her description? Because my ass never goes - I just copied the link to her YouTube video and plastered it directly into an archiver to watch it without giving her traffic because the archive on the site wasn’t working. So yeah, this code gets you 15% off.
She holds up the package. The tape looks like hell because this person didn’t use giftwrapping tape that goes onto black paper clear. But whatever, shooo cyuuuuute. What cracks me up is that AL holds her books up going ‘but look how freaking adorable!’ after showing us the botch that is the back of the packaging.
One has ‘Mystery’ written on the top with ‘beautiful island with a murderous past, six gorgeous friends, seclusion, missing people, murder’ written on the front. The other says ‘YA Contemp’ and I have no idea what that means. Under that is written ‘Matchmaking, mean girls, family business, finding love with an app’ and I’m whining because this is the exact bullshit she says doesn’t entertain her anymore. But she had to specifically want this type of book to be sent this type of book. What a fucking buffoon.
Ah, AL explains that ‘YA Contemp’ means Young Adult Contemporary. Imma ram my face into a wall, kthxbai
Also, AL can’t read the word seclusion. ‘Seeee clussion?’ Yes, AL. That’s exactly it.
Proclaims she’s going to put them on her shelf and not even unwrap them. She’ll unwrap them in a future vlog. Of course, AL is obsessed.
5:45 Next package. Amazon package. AL pauses to address ‘rumors’ (aka: the truth) that she’s sending this stuff to herself. She says she has people who love her and enjoy her and support her and who she makes friends with. She goes off into a huge tangent that the reaction channels’ community hates her, but that’s not everyone, hayyydurs! I especially smirk when she says ‘your community thinks I’m a liar,’ especially given how many ‘what I’ve lied about’ videos she’s done in the past that she’s pidgeon-holed because she’s not a liar except when she is. She proclaims she’s not sending this shit to herself, and that when she does she announces it as an ‘Amazon haul’ except she makes no real distinction. Brings up that instance where someone sent her incontinence pads. Specifically states that person was ‘rude and crool’ (because fuck if she can say cruel) but she ‘didn’t let it get to her’ (namely because she’s too stupid to realize that they’re incontinence pads and thought they were menstrual pads). Then she goes on about how people want to take the fun out of everything and waaaaaaah. She tries throwing shade at reaction channels saying that they’ve got to create drama because they’re boring and they can’t create their own content (Seriously, if they’re reacting and they’re boring, that means their source material, ie YOU are boring as fuck if they can’t elevate your crap to something resembling entertainment). She seriously whined about this shit for over two minute. Gah. Open your stupid package you ordered yourself. Oops, that a totally loving and loyal friend sent you. My bad.
8:00 FINALLY into the package. She reads the stupid note. ‘Oh my goooosh!’ Stop with the fake surprise. Someone named Theresa sent her coloring books that she illustrated. Sounds like… dun dun dun! Another small business sponsorship? Maybe? Maaaaaybe? Or something that AL ordered. She’s flabbergasted that someone can actually create coloring books, and holds up ‘Get your Cray On’ (which like everything else in the fucking universe is shooo cyuuuute and really just looks like basic bitch coloring book shit with mandalas that you’d pick up in Walmart or something. No offense to the artist, but that’s pretty basic shit. It’s filled with mandalas with inspirational statements in the centers. Yup. Move on.) AL is obsessed because it says nice shit that strokes her narc ego just right.
8:39 Holds up the second coloring book. It’s ‘Blooming’ Letters’ which is ‘shooo pretty.’ She’s obsessed with this one, too. Because that’s all she can be. Obsessed. At least this one’s a little more creative than the overdone mandalas with quotes found off google in the centers. AL goes on and on about how coloring can be ‘great self love’ because it’s therapeutic. ‘Self-care, self-love, same thing’ she says. Then she waxes on about how a lot of people get on to her because she likes to color but how it’s good for you.
9:15 Now she waggles around an envelope. At least she’s careful to show the back as to not dox the moron who sent her this card. She does snottily go on about how she’s sending herself shit because she’s a massive cunt and can’t drop something when she’s been narc injured.
9:35 Holds up a card straight from the stationary section of any grocery store or big box store. Features a red bird tweeting ‘hello’. AL proclaims it’s ‘shooo pretty’. She’s impressed by the fact that there’s texture. This blob would be impressed by the fact that grass is made of individual plant leaves, I swear. She proclaims she’s going to read it in private, then after a jump edit thanks ‘Code V’ for the card. I have no fucking clue. Once again, cock-in-mouth enunciation fucks with my limited hearing.
9:43 Now we’re on to another package. She says ‘we get a lot of packages and I don’t want to do a ton’ but then talks about how she and F/JFoNY:MGF,W keep feeling this one particular package and are curious as to what’s in it. She fondles said package in front of us lewdly. I want to drink but must drive soon. My life is agony. But we hear F/JFoNY:MGF,W’s voice as AL stupidly says that she thought there were eggs in there, and F/JFoNY:MGF,W says no, she thought they were shoes. AL insists that it’s an egg carton. F/JFoNY:MGF,W says to shake it. AL waggles her hands at her camera saying that if anyone sends her something crazy she can figure out who did it because there’s tracking and shit.
I laugh because she’s a dumbass if she thinks tracking someone who wants to be anonymous and troll the fuck outta her is that easy. I can guarantee that if Diet Coke 4 Life were to have been inspired to send her actual shit when it was being sold by Cards Against Humanity, there would’ve been no way to track it to the person behind that internet name.
10:15 Oh, she’s so skeeeeeeered to open this package. Ya know, AL, this is why nobody believes that you aren’t puchasing most’ve those other packages for yourself. You aren’t scared to open them. There’s none of this fake anxiety bullshit. Which means you already have an idea as to what’s in it.
10:24 So this fucking hephalump had F/JFoNY:MGF,W open it for them because she was too skeeeeered. And then she squeals that she saw whatever the fuck it is on TikTok. And yes, they’re shoes. They’re tacky, terrible looking shoes. They’re from ‘Bob and Christina.’ She apologizes for being skeeeered and delaying opening the shit.
Imma just throw a picture here because fuck trying to describe this tacky shit.
There ya go.
11:15 AL threatens us with future package opening bullshit because she has other shit just sitting around waiting for her to bother to film it. She says she could just make a whole video about that shit after taking a moment to laugh about something off-screen that our professional YouTuber couldn’t bother editing out of her schlocky shit video. Don’t threaten me with a good time, AL. And by a good time, I mean a drunk time, because my ass would be chugging everything in the house to slog through that crap unless some other brave soul reeeecapped it. Fortunately she says she just likes sprinkling it into her other nontent. My liver is safe(ish).
11:45 Waddling footage of her shuffling around the stankpartment in her egg-crate shoes. They look like shit.
BTW, for autists amongst us, she takes approximately 3.5 steps per plank-length of the luxury vinyl flooring in her house. So 3.5 steps per every 36” of distance travelled. Bitch’s steps are less than a foot forward. That prior talk about fucked up gait? Yup.
12:11 Films her face yet again, starting off with ‘you guise, low-key’ and then her poop bun flops forward, distracting her into a ‘dang, my hair is a mess!’ tangent. It’s also greasy and disgusting. Wash that shit. She continues on her original statement, which was about the comfort of those terrible shoes. Ten to one, the batting in them is flattened in less than a month. She says ‘for around the house? Hell yeah.’ And seeing as how that’s the only place she goes, she’ll be wearing them until they’re demolished.
12:24 Jump-cut to her in a corner. She says she’s ‘acktuly' had people ask her if she’s been exercising and moving more. She says she has. And then she honestly doesn’t talk about everything in her life. Nope, she leaves out what could be potentially interesting content and gives us being shoooo skeeeeered about a package of shoes instead. Or stirring around dry broccoli in a teflon pan.
12:46 She holds up a piece of paper and says she writes down what she’s going to do (this says she’s doing… it’s hard to read on very low quality… all I can make out is crunches LMFAO NOPE (her gunt doesn’t allow enough motion for her to be capable of engaging the muscles required to execute a crunch) and walk in place (that one’s reasonable) and sitting leg kicks and there’s something to do with the floor. I dunno, her writing is shit and the quality of this video is potato.
Bitch, you love apps so much. Get yourself on Strava. Record your shit there. (Then I can follow you there and snigger like a moron)
Explains what she does: 3 sets, records how many reps she did in that set, tries to do more than she did the day before. She stretches, walks in place, warmups, crunches, leg kicks, punches and high knees. She says she does reps until she’s no longer really comfortable - then states that comfortable isn’t the right word, but that she goes until she can’t do it anymore without hurting herself. Which given her low tolerance for any discomfort, is prior to her actually getting any benefit from any of her exercises.
13:44 Proclaims she’s going to go work out, but she’s not going to film it because fuck you, that’s why. Most likely so the fitness influencer types can’t tear apart her form and instruct her on how to properly exercise in her condition, and tell her that she’s cutting her exercises off before she sees any benefit from it.
13:59 Now she gives us a clearer picture of her horrible writing and her exercise chart.
-Stretches by touching floor
-Walk in place
-Warm(??? This one’s illegible EDIT: ARM. She shows it later.) ups
-Crunches
-Leg kicks sitting
-Punches
-High Knees
14:14 At first, I thought she was saying people were telling her to get a candle. But I think people are telling her to get a Kindle. And she says she has one, but she prefers actual books. Not gonna lie, I can relate to this. Turning pages is much more satisfying than scrolling.
14:26 Shows us her exercise page filled out. Simple checkmarks by ‘stretch by touching floor (and she puts a stupid little heart above her i’s to dot them. WTF. I thought most kids grew out of that by middle school?). Walked in place for 1:10, then 1:15, then 1:20 for the final set. Arm ups are 12, then 15, then 17. Crunches she did 15 each time (guaranteed it wasn’t an actual crunch). Leg kicks, 10, 11, 12. Punches 22, 24, 30. High knees, 14, 20, 20. But then she explains that the ‘w’ and ’s’ she wrote after things (w after legs, punches and arm ups, s after high knees) that w stands for whole and so both arms, and s means separate….? So does that mean she actually did only 7/10/10 high knee sets? That’s what I’m reading into it.
GORL. You in terrible shape.
Also, we know your high knees ain’t very high, because your gunt is in the way.
15:00 Says she wanted to talk about her exercising today because she says she gets anxiety exercising. Like ‘verge of panic attack’ and it’s scaaaaawwwwwy. Apparently what gives her anxiety is having an elevated heart rate. She says ‘it’s at a real good rate when I exercise’ which either means she has no idea what a good rate is for her age group or she isn’t working out hard enough to elevate her heart rate sufficiently (she gives no numbers, so I don’t know. I’m thinking of persons like, at the risk of PLing, myself with a resting heart rate in the high 50s who gets into the 70s during a good walk, 100s warming up for a run, 150s during a 5k/Z3 cycling workouts and 170s during fucking VO2 sprint efforts. I wish she’d give me numbers so I could properly either support or lambast her. Like April Lauren who showed her fucking walk-jogging heart rate during one of her mile for time efforts screeching into the 170 range. Where we said ‘gorl, get yourself walking enough that your heart rate doesn’t reach such astronomical levels BEFORE you try running! WTF!!!’ and she went on to pretend to start training for a half-marathon before possibly moving to Hawaii.). AL, what is your resting heart rate? What elevation is scaring you so much? Are you hitting the 170s walking in place? If so, maybe you should look at that pool your apartment complex has and start with some nice water aerobics. Build your cardiovascular health slowly but surely. If you’re reading this thread, fucking hit me up in my ‘farms DMs (making an account is easy, I promise - unless you’re DC Media Girl and too retarded to do so, of course) and I promise not to mock you if you’re legit coming for aid. I’m sure there are other fitness-inclined kiwis who’d aid you as well with minimal mocking.
But as long as you’re going to be a vague anxiety-riddled dipshit who does nothing to actually improve her situation, we’re going to call you a retarded faggot.
You retarded faggot.
Sorry, tangent done. Back to reeeeecapping.
15:55 Ah, AL is asspatting herself for working through her anxiety and exercising. Pffff. She then goes on to say she ‘hates’ the feeling she has, which I’m taking as her low-key stating that she despises exercise and is likely only doing it because of WLS hopes/prayers and F/JFoNY:MGF,W giving her the stank eye. AL then goes on to say that she feels her anxiety over exercise isn’t irrational because of the size she’s at. No shit. Which is why you should be doing appropriate exercises recommended to you by a trainer or physician, not what looks easy/feasible/fun to you.
She goes on and on about how this is a rational fear, so she can’t get over it. Now if we knew some fucking numbers, it’d be easier to tell her if this is rational or not. And sorry, I’ll break off this tangent. Gonna pour some coffee and return to this nonsense.
17:15 AH YEAH, THERE IT IS. She doesn’t want to talk about her exercising because ‘it doesn’t bring me joy like it would to other people.’ AKA: If she doesn’t talk about what she’s (not) doing, she can quit at any time and nobody’d be the wiser. Because she hates it. She gripes about people talking about the endorphin release from exercise, and she scoffs and says ‘not me!’ Because she’s a lazy sack of fat-riddled shit who wouldn’t know the joy of success if it bitchslapped her across the face.
17:40 Ah, now we’re doing WLS updates. Seven seconds later we get golf club whack and ‘WLS UPDATE’ placard. The psychiatrist who ‘approved’ her originally has been getting spammed by her with email. She says they’re regularly emailing, and there’s some things that are going on that she’ll talk about event… ya know, no. We ain’t doing that shit.
If she is being intentionally vague with ‘there’s stuff going on that I’m not going to talk about’ and crap, just look for me saying LOLZFU.
So she’s been emailing her psychiatrist the originally ‘approved’ her and LOLZFU but she’ll talk about my snack in a future video. Because she needs to protect herself, HER MENTAL (that’s exactly what this illiterate weasle says) and her privacy LOLZFU. But there’ve been developments LOLZFU. She has her appointment with the team. She says she thinks things might be different. Says right now, they want her to do 12 sessions with a therapist.
She brightens up stating she can do 2 sessions a week with this therapist, so I think dipshit here believes she can get through her ‘fuck you no’ received earlier IRT WLS in 6 weeks. She then says she can do 1 session every 2 weeks. ‘So obviously, the quicker I do it, the better.’
I giggle, because this is one of so many wickets that have to be met. Ten to one says she thinks these 12 sessions are the only thing standing between her and surgery.
18:50 So she ‘officially’ has a new psychologist. She’s ‘really excited’ and then talks about the psychologist who originally approved… her… for…
Wait. I thought she said psychiatrist.
I’m sorry, guise and gorls. I forgot that this is AL, and psychiatrists and psychologists are interchangable in her tiny little brain.
19:10 Now she blathers on about how she asked her old psychologist if there was anyone he’d recommend for her. Apparently he sent over 6, and she chose one. Y’all know this was an emailed list of names and she fucking einie-meanie-miney-moe’d that shit.
19:23 Good news, though - she got over her phone anxiety and called her new therapist to make an appointment. That appointment is ‘coming up.’ She prattles on stating that ‘depending on how this session goes, that will be a deciding factor for me if I want to do 2 a week or if I want to do 1 a week or how I want to do it.’ Obviously, she’ll do 3 of these and then we’ll never hear about it again. She actually immediate says she doesn’t want to be ‘too extreme and do it twice a week’ because goodness knows our gorl’s busy schedule of cooking shit food, shuffling around her stankpartment and watching TikTok and YouTube videos can’t be interrupted for therapy. And she clarifies what I suspected. She thinks this is all that’s standing between her and weightloss surgery. She states ‘I don’t want to do this every other week, because obviously I want the weightloss surgery, the sooner the better.’
She’s thinking she’ll meet all wickets by 1.5 months to 3 months. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
20:05 Now getting into why she doesn’t show her food. It’s because people judge. No shit, AL. ‘The judgement makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong even though I know what I’m doing is right.’ Narc-speak engaged! She’s doing everything right! Her slop is right! Her sodium levels being in uncharted territory is right!! Fuck you, haydurs!
20:28 ‘People are expecting me to be on the pre-op diet. I’m not on the pre-op diet.’ Because you’re not getting WLS. Duh. She actually says it: ‘I’m not approved for WLS, so I’m not on the pre-op diet.’ But she was approved by her psychologist/psychiatrist/dietician/other random people. AL, get’cher stories straight. Maybe use one of your 2,000,000,000 journals to write your stories and your lies so you can keep track of them. Like we’ve been recommending for literally YEARS. Ahem. She says people are getting really confused about that, and it’s frustrating for her because people are expecting her to eat ‘the tiniest amount of food ever.’ Claims her dietician is directing her diet. I’m wondering if this is an actual person or a voice in her gargantuan noggin. Then she goes off on how she got criticism for having 2 ayyyggs and 2 servings of Spam.
aka: Sodium Bomb. Which doesn’t help your lipodema. Lymphodema. Lymphipodema, or whatever the fuck we wanna call this shit.
AL whines about how people were coming for her, focusing on the eggs and how people were saying it looked like 5 eggs and she revisits her ayyyyyygg intolerance. And then says it comes and goes, and it’s gotten a lot better.
That’s not how food intolerance works, AL.
21:40 Oh, now she’s going off on some quinoa ground turkey situatioFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU that she had. That she claimed was less than 500 calories but is waaaaay over 500 calories. She claims that the calories came right off the nutrition packet. Except, ya know, anyone with eyes who’s made quinoa and had guacamole and had ground turkey knows that comes up to over 500 calories. AL is offended because people told her that her bowl of shit was far more than she told us, and she whines that she ‘knows how to count calories’ except you don’t, AL. (for reference, the quinoa she had, estimating approximately 1 cup of cooked quinoa, was about 220 calories. 1/3 cup of guac was 120 calories. 1/2 cup of ground turkey was 150 calories. That right there is 490. Plus your veg. 500 calories, dipshit. And my guess is my guestimation as to how much was in your bowl was short, because that was a large bowl)
AL does proclaim that she’s an idiot and doesn’t count calories even though she apparently knows how to do so. She admits to not doing the right things long term, but ‘that’s why weight loss surgery is there.’
LOLOLOLOL
Weightloss surgery involves long term lifestyle alteration, you dumb shit. Otherwise you reverse the benefit of the surgery. It is there to AID you in maintaining those life long lifestyle changes to reach and maintain a healthy weight. You dumb fuckwad.
You’re never getting approved, AL.
22:50 She whines more about her audience. Of course not her supportive dipshits, but those who actually ponder what she’s putting out there. She lectures that people need to focus on themselves instead of on her, even though she’s the dipshit putting her life on YouTube for shackles. Even after years of doing this shit, she doesn’t comprehend that judgement is the consequence of putting yourself out there as a public figure - or rather she understands, but doesn’t like it because people can see through her dipshittery and retardation.
24:10 Her lack of transparency is YOUR FAULT, AUDIENCE. FUCK YOU. She whines about how she’d love to show us what she’s making and what she’s eating and what she’s doing, but ‘she doesn’t feel safe’ and she feels judged and whaaaaaaaaaaa my audience is meeeeeeeeeean except those who gimme asspats!
Guess we need another frog invasion, yeah?
24:35 Proclaims that just because she ain’t tellin’ us shit doesn’t mean that she’s off track and gaining weight. She says ‘it doesn’t mean I’m gaining weight, because I’m not telling you guys my weight.’ But we can see it in your inflating face, AL. And the fact that your maxi dress try-on looked very similar to your last maxi dress try-on, except your ass has lost its perkiness and sagged down to your thighs. You’re as rotund as ever. Easily mid 500s.
She goes on to say that every time she’s lost a large chunk of weight, it’s because
25:05 ‘I do better when I don’t have to prove myself to people. That’s not why I’m here. I’m not here to prove myself to anybody.’ Hello, your years of YouTube videos would like to talk to you, AL.
She is STILL FUCKING WHINING about her audience and saying she won’t provide anything for people to ‘pick apart’ because she doesn’t like the criticism. Holy fuck, gorl. Shaddup. Go outside. Film yourself physically touching grass. There’s got to be some around Lexington by now.
25:51 Ah, she still wants to do ‘comment’ of the day (even though it’s supposed to be ‘question’ but she is so intrenched in saying ‘comment’ she slips up… and can’t fucking edit her own shit because lazy). But she’s STILL WHINING ABOUT HER AUDIENCE. GAH, SHADDUP.
26:02 Finally on to the question of the day, from Instagram. Golf-club placcard “Question of the Day!”
“What are some of your favorite self care things? (Shopping, journaling, etc.)!??”
Nice question to ask yourself. Her answer:
‘Journaling used to be a big one for me, but now I firmly believe self care is also like self love and doing things that you love. Things that put you in a good like therapeutic state or just like calming state, um, and for some people that’s meditation, for some people that’s yoga, for me it’s things like art, like poetry, or it’s things as simple as doing legos. Like the tediousness of it all, like I literally love it. And I also like to play like games on my phone.’
Fuckadoodle. Shaddup.
She signs off with her filthy fucking kiss bullshit and I need to get this car trip done fast so I can drown my woes in whiskey.
Edit: Fixed a typo.
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- Dec 17, 2019
Melissa from My 600lb Life.
I don't think the full episode's on Youtube any more, but she tore her stitches from body lift surgery and was laid up in the hospital for a while. Dr. Now explained that part of the reason why was because she still had the gait of someone almost 700 pounds rather than a woman who, at the time, was now below 200 pounds and getting close to her goal.
Not sure if Melissa had PT for that, but I'm sure she did. But clips of her close to her goal reveal how deformed her body was just from the weight she carried for so many years.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2021
What a special snowflake she is....even Tammy Slaton was only required to do 6 sessions with a psychologist. What do you get when you hound professionals with emails everyday...at least another $2k of bills.
TC-P
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2020
Thank you. Today I really needed the laugh.
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- Apr 18, 2020
Most people would be embarassed to be seen on camera an unwashed, filth encrusted dishevelled mess, but not our gorl! So great to see that thanks to Wipeys unique support that Amber is back to her dirtiest, most housebound, and best of all, smug and intolerable best!!! Love that for you gorl!
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
She really is reaching with her TRex arms for that2019 vibe: bags under her eyes (sleep apnea), leaning on things for support and wheezing for breath (zero exercise), fat moon face shaping up nicely, getting fatter, said fat sagging down thanks to gravity and age (hoovering calories), greasy, grimy skin (no showering). Oh, and because I don't want to let this go by: WASH YOUR NASTY, GREASY FUCKING HAIR YOU FAT, PIG-EYED BITCH.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
The entire apartment must smell like feet, corn chips, and cocoa butter.
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- Apr 7, 2022
Can’t forget the broccoli farts!
Turd Fergusson
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2019
When she met her last bariatric surgeon, about a year ago, she asked if they operated on people of her weight. The receptionist said "Yes". I think that Amber is expecting that she does not need to lose any weight before surgery; only going to the 12 sessions (twice a week), thus being ready for surgery in six weeks, so early May. I would be very surprised if they do agree to this. More likely, they will ask her to lose anywhere between 50-100 pounds in the next 6 to 12 months. She is not going to like it a bit. There is also pesky testing such as for sleep apnea that she will need to do. She will likely be told to stop all her incessant emailing to staff. Otherwise, she will be out of the programme. I am sure that this clinic is busy and has more patients than it can handle. I fully expect a rant from her about the clinic after the meeting.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2021
But....if I could lose weight on my own I wouldn't need the surgery! Plus I've already lost the 1lb you said to lose. I wouldn't want to be her shoes if (as we all suspect) she's gained again.
I'm surprised if they really said she can go for sessions twice a week. Generally with therapy you are given homework between sessions that take time and practice to implement and change lifelong habits. Imagine her first session where she tells them all of her totally diagnosed mental disorders.
For sure
I'm surprised she hasn't already been told this. Many bariatric surgeons require 3 months of remotely monitored CPAP use before surgery if a patient has sleep aponea. Mind you the "Dainty Gorl" won't have admitted to snoring, although sleep aponea at her size should be assumed until proven otherwise.
If they discharge her from their program though I'd expect she'll just say she's decided to change to another practice because of the BED issue.
beanbag in a hurry
Got sick of the ALR pic, look at this cat instead.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2019
Snowflake finally put out a semi-entertaining reaction.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
Phew, I'm beat. Tell you what, Fatty: when you're ready to ackshually lose weight, you can come to work with me. Full body workout plus cardio, plenty of vitamin D, warm temps, three squares a day of moderate carb, low fat meals, water directly from the earth. Just give me a week's notice so I can get the septic folks to pump out the case, since we'll need as much space as possible in there for your visit.
Seriously, though, a pounding heart rate during the "exercise" that you're doing - which is not exercise, btw - is not angzite. It's a sign you should have been doing what every single person has been telling you to do for years, you fat, lazy fuck.
I'm in the camp that says she's sending most of this shit to herself. Your tells give you away. And how the fuck exactly does she think she's going to be able to "track" anyone who has sent her bullshit? Just another indication she has no idea how the world works. Tip for you, dumbass: if someone sends you something via regular snail mail, it isn't tracked. That's registered mail, retard. You're also not going to get anything on tracking via Amazon, dipshit
I'm also still in the camp of the WLS arc being partially or fully imaginary, much like the "therapy" she was always babbling about when she was pounding calories because the shrink didn't object to her eating on camera or just eating whatever the fuck she felt like. Between the imaginary FBI Frank and this WLS bullshit, her imaginary life is certainly inventive. Too bad her writing sucks ass.
Seriously, though, a pounding heart rate during the "exercise" that you're doing - which is not exercise, btw - is not angzite. It's a sign you should have been doing what every single person has been telling you to do for years, you fat, lazy fuck.
I'm in the camp that says she's sending most of this shit to herself. Your tells give you away. And how the fuck exactly does she think she's going to be able to "track" anyone who has sent her bullshit? Just another indication she has no idea how the world works. Tip for you, dumbass: if someone sends you something via regular snail mail, it isn't tracked. That's registered mail, retard. You're also not going to get anything on tracking via Amazon, dipshit
I'm also still in the camp of the WLS arc being partially or fully imaginary, much like the "therapy" she was always babbling about when she was pounding calories because the shrink didn't object to her eating on camera or just eating whatever the fuck she felt like. Between the imaginary FBI Frank and this WLS bullshit, her imaginary life is certainly inventive. Too bad her writing sucks ass.
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- Jun 5, 2020
Gorl is a massive waddling red flag to that surgical team,. Keep digging that hole Amby you could use the exercise.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2021
And she is dumb enough to believe that all those red flags she’s waving are the very reason they should fast track her, so she’s played them up. She is the patient no-one wants to deal with. Love that for her!