We know this is a Serious Sitdown Video with Hamber because she brushed her hair, washed her face, is wearing no makeup, and is staring right into the camera at the audience instead of herself. Pair that with the title clickbaiting muh trauma, and this is going to be a great video, YTBux-wise, right? RIGHT?
GODDAMMIT!
Anyhow, Hamber's desperately trying to get all those eyeballs back while continuing to do the barest of the bare minimums. At this rate, I suspect eventually, we'll be down to a 24/7 livestream of Hamber sitting on her couch, a CPAP mask dangleen off the side, with the TV blaring in the background, watching YT videos, her labored breathing threatening to overwhelm both. Every once in awhile she'll rouse herself to croak out "Fatphobic!"
I guess we better start the damn video. Hit it, Ham.
Back to the weigh-ins. Remember all of a couple of weeks ago when she was done talking about her weight on video? You know, for the 81,423,642nd time? Yeah. It's back. All in on the WLS fiction. If Hamber were a more talented writer - or a writer at all - she'd have this entire arc plotted out and others in the works.
Says she wants to do this for the people who enjoy this kind of content, BUT..it's mostly for her, as a sort of documentation, a diary through video. I don't do YT, but I know you can make videos, upload them, and make them private so they're not available to the general public. If you want to make videos just for yourself, you could do that, Miss "I'm Not Talking About My Weight Online Any More."
But no, that wouldn't generate those sweet YTBux, so here we are.
Blah blah blah. Get on with it already instead of looking at the timer and drawing it out. There won't be a schedule for weigh-ins, and she's going to answer three questions about her weight loss.
Do the WLS people know about your YT channel? Yes. They know, they've seen my videos. Really? Did they congratulate you on your following, like FBI Frank?
Will you continue therapy after the required 12/WLS? Emphatic yes. Says, bizarrely that she thinks the therapy after is the "real deal", because she won't be able to use food to cope and can talk to her therapist about it. No, Hamber. The entire purpose of doing through all the prep and therapy PRIOR to surgery is so you learn to cope with your incessant need to hoover entire Chinese buffettes BEFORE the surgery that turns that method of "coping" into an agonizing medical drama. Dumbass.
When did you start using food to cope/whatever? Young age, constantly ate large portions, etc. No mention of the evils of foster care/group home making her drink skim melk or eat yogurt. Bastards.
On to the weigh-in. First, though, naturally she has to address the haydurs. So positive! There's a "conspiracy" that she is 600 pounds, and I'm just gonna stop you right there, Fatty. One, stop using "conspiracy" as a synonym for "rumor", dumbass. They are not the same. And in this instance, not entirely unwarranted: when you're gaining, you stop weighins. You cannot say, as you do here, that you have NEVER been 600 pounds. There is no way this giant blob
is under 600 pounds. NONE.
Recall that we began the WLS Saga in Jan/Feb of this year. At the beginning of the year, Hamber weighed in at 520. Toward the end of February, when Hamber ditched the weigh-ins, on her weigh-in week six video, she weighed 503. Will she be in the 400s? Is the pope jewish?
First, we get a story. Uh oh. It's never good when we get some long, explanatory intro before getting to the meat of the matter (if you will). Once again, the tale of the scale: one scale that weighed her consistently +3 pounds from another one, which she was "fine with" and that's a damn lie. It's a little confusing through this bridge to her upcoming excuse, but we'll press on to the heart of it: Hamber thought she was down 30 pounds, and was trying to pat herself on the back with her TRex arms. "I was doin' the damn thing!"
"U-uhm?" Oh, no. When she does that "U-uhm?", as a quasi-question, it is never good. Often, what has come next - when she was constantly claiming she had BED - was "I binged." followed by whatever it was she wanted that she shoved down her facehole instead of you know, coping.
This time: it's another defective scale. Can you believe it? Hamber has the worst luck: the doctors/shrinks she selects don't take insurance, the WLS doesn't take insurance because KY doesn't allow fatties to get WLS, she's constantly getting scales that don't weigh accurately, etc.
Remember the Krystle Era scale, which weighed everyone else in the house just fine, but not her? Yep, same problem! Can you believe that? The scale weighs MG,W accurately just fine, but not Hamber. How on earth could THAT be? It's almost like scales have weight limits. But whatevs, she's still down 30 pounds, right?
Nope! She says she weighed herself and she'll show us a pitcher of the readout: 524. Fuck your decimals, Hamber. And I will maintain, as I have for years, that I will never believe a weigh-in she posts unless it's video/an image taken AT a doctor's office (or at the WLS, assuming it exists) at the time of an appointment, BY a member of the staff, and posted right then and there to IG/Twitter. Otherwise, I'll simply continue my tradition of guessing her weight: I think she's in the 560-570 range.
According to her own numbers, though, that means a +4 net gain from the beginning of the year, and 15 pounds in the past two months, all the while claiming to be following what the WLS said she should be doing. Claims the dietitian knows about her (now accurate) weight. How? By taking your word for it? Don't make me laugh.
She ends with saying she's NOW going to follow all the rules from the dietitian and do what they say. Which means she hasn't been following them throughout the fiction of the WLS Era (of course) and she sure as hell isn't doing so now, either, since she hasn't moved her shelf ass to engage in any meaningful exercise whatsoever. If she keeps up with her goals of sitting for every single video, the only movement to go to the bathroom or the kitchen for more snacks (where she leans on the counter), she'll get taken out by a clot one of these days and will never even know what hit her.
And all that brings to mind something else: where's all the paper? Places like that WLS hand out paper like crazy. Dr Now even hands out an entire booklet with what to eat. For someone so into tactile shit - touching everything in every store, a handwritten piece of paper with her laughable "exercises", a surgery date set an entire year in advance ("something I can touch") - you have no handouts of foods to eat, to avoid? No exercise handouts? Nothing?
None of this WLS Saga makes any sense beyond sitting in on the first seminar. Everything since smells like clickbait and shit pushed out for YTBux.