Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Pointing_Pink_Yoshi]

There is a carpet munching joke in this latest video somewhere.....

 

[FarmVille]

Sending a 600lb deathfat a cake is fucking weird, either ALR bought it for herself or it was sent by a feeder. If it was sent by a feeder ALR needs to dump Jade and immediately get with this person because it is painfully obvious she cannot carry a channel by her shelfass lonesome.

 

[ADHD]

Meth is gnarly and very addictive, but they say coke actually isn’t quite as bad. Plenty of people can handle it, recreationally. She could afford some good coke and you’re not convincing me that JFoNY can’t rustle up a contact.

Yeah, there’s the cardiotoxicity but I reckon that may be a reasonable trade off for some decent appetite suppressant qualities, energy inducing/weight loss progress.
Not a doctor/don’t play one on tv but I would look at Chantal and the weight loss she experienced during her Crackhead Olympics period and see the move as an overall net gain.

Jade, get your girl a little bit of the good stuff. If you’re as under Amber’s fat thumb as we assume, you can be the canary and test it out for fentanyl first. If you drop dead, I’m sure she’s got another carer on speed-dial.

Even if she eats through the effects, we might get some entertaining vlogs from the experiment. She’s been monumentally boring lately and I feel we need her to throw some excitement into her content.

I don't care if she ever loses a single ounce, I just want her to do something that isn't more repetitions of the same things she's done since Black Becky showed up.

 

[that blue peach]

either ALR bought it for herself or it was sent by a feeder.

There's also the possibility that it was sent by the business who wanted the free shoutout. I think that's the more likely option, honestly. Hamber is dumb enough to be shouting out all these businesses for free lately and more of them have been taking advantage of it. It's a very expensive and fancy thing food item, unlikely that a feeder or haydur would send it to her.

 

[FatalTater]

Does Amber want to get dog poo and glitter bombs in her PO box?
Because this is how you get dog poo and glitter bombs in your PO box.

Unsubscribe

 

[saltinedream]

And I've looked again, but I STILL can't find "Thou Shalt Not Mail Snackypoos to Lardbutt Gaslighters" in the bible. Is it in Leviticus? Deuteronomy? ... The (Lost) Gospel of Thomas? Regardless, I don't think that's a sin which warrants eternal damnation.

It's writing like this that makes this thread still worth reading.
No matter how boring amber and her dangleeen bits are, should we never see her joaquin again and if she never ever shows layyygs, catching up via the farms will still worth it.
I laughed out loud at the thought of Hamber just trying to pronounce Deuteronomy.

 

[Even more 8008135]

What a fat, cunty loser.

 

[FarmVille]

There's also the possibility that it was sent by the business who wanted the free shoutout. I think that's the more likely option, honestly. Hamber is dumb enough to be shouting out all these businesses for free lately and more of them have been taking advantage of it. It's a very expensive and fancy thing food item, unlikely that a feeder or haydur would send it to her.

do you think a business had seen an ALR mukbang in the past and thought her smacking her lips and groaning orgasmically to their product was going to boost sales? I still shudder at the thought of rotisserie chicken

Maybe there’s a competitor bakery nearby trying to take them down

 

[Mekahineyho]

The internet is becoming more popular you guys.

 

[dfranki723]

I lean more towards Hamber buying the food herself with the intent of having this ridiculous meltdown to both draw more views to her channel/prove what a victim of harassment she is.

Whatever the origin of the food, it's fucking stupid.
Either she did it herself for attention, some dipshit fan thought she deserved their hard earned cash OR an even bigger dipshit business owner thought ''yeah this malignant cow is the perfect person to advertise my already popular bakery!''.

I like how she threw the box on the floor knowing full well she wasn't the one who'd be picking it up.
Christ, I wish she'd stop comparing her greed to drug/alcohol addictions, it's not the same you pig. Miss GeniusIQLynn not understanding that her gross gluttony isn't as difficult and dangerous to manage as a fucking heroin addiction.

Her channel has sunk so low that she has to rely on her viewers sending her gifts to fill up vlogs with content.

 

[Toothpaste Chocolates]

Forget tortillagate, coffeecakegate was a great showcase of just how deplorable she truly is.

Stay mad, amber.

 

[Constellationzero]

Why she portrays signs of food insecurity I have no idea,

* Greed
* Lives too easy
* Never worked a day in her life
* Manipulative, malingering shitbag
* Never been smacked/punched/kicked in her steatopygic shelf ass

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Is this real life? Is this just fantasy?

Alas, this is real life, and this bitch exists as a black hole, sucking resources from life without adding a goddamned thing to it. Now, before I begin my somewhat ragey recap here (and believe me, I will happily take fucking tophats for it, as I have Thoughts), I just want to note something. I was interested in how much Hamber had lost on Ozempic and how that compared to the last weight she gave us. I doubt that number, since I think she's around 560 or so, but it's what we have to work with, and the whole thing is horrifying regardless.

Let us recall the short-lived Ozempic (RIP) Era: Hamber started in July 2022, on the 11th, with a claimed weight of 499. No, I'm not going to respect your goddamned decimals, Ham, learn to round - the shape should be familiar for you. On Sept 8, 2022, she happily crowed that in two months using Ozempic, she had dropped to 466, a loss of 25 pounds. Keep in mind that all of that was supposedly on the .5 dosage. She never moved to 1.0 for reasons that (as usual) made zero sense. Despite whatever *demas, and eating right through the control Ozempic gives, she still managed to drop 25 pounds.

Fast forward to November 13th, 2022. In that video, she gave her weight as 496. In two months, she added 30 pounds. Fast forward to January 1, 2023. In her leadoff video for the brand new year, she gave her weight as "520 on the dot" and she was "glad about that." Glad about what? That in a month and a half, you gained another 24 pounds? Fast forward to February, when the WLS saga is all shiny and new. She gives a weight of 508.

Fast forward to now: 523 is the weight she gives. She's been "following the dietitian's plan" and managed not just to maintain 500 fucking pounds, but add another three on top of that. Since September 2022 to now - a span of seven months - she has put on a whopping 57 pounds, 15 of which is in the past two months.

Stop bitching at your audience about sending you food, you fat fuck. That is clearly not the issue here.

 

[TardiX]

"This cake, was the best cake. There's never been a better cake, look it up. She's just fat, ugly dog. But other than that I like her very much! I wouldn't bang her. SAD. A true loser." - Trump, in hell

 

[El Conserje]

Kiwifarms was down for a day due to technical shenanigans, so I was incapable of checking this thread and its wonderful people and thus I was forced to commit the cardinal sin of giving big Al a view (I can't stand reaction channels anymore honestly). To my surprise, her last video with the cake situation type deal moment was mildly amusing (I laughed out loud when she told us someone had given her a disability scooter catalogue or something lmao). To be fair, I think she had some valid points. Therefore, I will try to play devil's advocate under the risk of getting a dumb rate.

Amber is a food addict (addiction is in her genes after all) and anyone who knows her or just sees her monstrous appearance will quickly guess that. Moreover, she is **supposed** to be on a strict diet regime due to the mythical WLS program, so she is already in a fragile position with her food addiction. If someone was willing enough to waste money on an expensive cake for Al, they surely would have known that a high calorie cake would not only be of bad taste but also fatal to her program (binge monster is always lurking in the shadows, I suppose). So I can conclude the person behind the cake accident was not well intended but just a Heydur™. And he or she got what he wanted because Amber took the bait all the way home.

Now, the way she handled the situation was a stupid and clumsy executed. She did the thing she always does, aka stomping her mammoth's dainty feet on the floor and insulting her audience, the worst possible (and boring!) way to control the narrative. The smartest action would have been just to handle things outside of the camera to not reward heydur behaviour. But, if she wanted to monetize the cake deal situation, she could have taken two options: be boring and kill the heydurs with kindness to keep her clean persona, or just be extravagant and display her full cunt persona to shock the audience and kindle views. Let me explain:

Option A.- She cleans the fake tears out of her raccoon eyes and turns on the camera. She explains she received an extremely beautiful cake and thanks whoever sent such an expensive gift for her. However, she explains that, due to her diet regime, she won't be able to eat the cake and lies saying the cake will be delivered to a fake charity. Finally, she apologizes but discourages the audience to stop sending her food and won't be recording any similar gift in the future.

Option B.- She goes nuts and sets the cake on fire or throws the package through the window, then she threatens her audience as usual. I just think it would be very damn funny. Don't judge me.

Anyways, whether the cake was from a true and honest fan or a haydur, I think she did the right thing by taking the cake to the trash. Even well regarded public celebrities are at risk of getting dangerous things from *fans* who are really strangers. The cake could have been loaded with poison or laxatives (small chance, mind you, but still a chance) and delivering it to a charity would also have been insensitive, knowing the risks involved.

 

[Elbe]

For reference, here is Amberlynn Reid's escape velocity.

 

[Poop Bun]

I don't care if she ever loses a single ounce, I just want her to do something that isn't more repetitions of the same things she's done since Black Becky showed up.

Whoa, Black Becky (Bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Black Becky (Bam-ba-lam)

 

[Witch Bitch]

That indignit way she says "but you guys Im not the fucking problem-" and holds that cake up. Holy fuck, Amber- the only problem you have is you gurl. Use those mountians of journals for some real self reflection.

 

[TardiX]

She's just mad the lid had a vegetable on it

 

[FarmVille]

I dont even care about the cake, Jade era is thexwoooorst era. Can’t she waddle down to the slow school and pick up another sped? Lure a new caretaker off the short bus with the promise of cake and glitter pens