KSavario
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2022
I've worked around with larger women with horrid smells so I thought I knew a general idea of what amber would smell like... I am completely wrong. It gets worse.
Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2018
Ah. Pardon. I shouldn't have used the word "shit" there. I totally believe it is possible she shat herself; hell; I believe it's possible FatAl shits herself every damn day.
The part that I meant "doesn't work that way" is the dislodging of the Blessed Potato. Jade pounding her on the back isn't gonna do a damn thing. Jade throwing her over a straight backed chair and JUMPING on FatAl's back may have done something but naw, no giant toddler burping would work.
the weeknd warrior
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
The most cunning and clever duo concocting some of the best narratives since FBI Frank.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
I am still amazed by the news (thanks Destiny!) that Amber didn't shower for a whole summer when there was a working bathroom right there. Just imagine, she had her period and everything and still did not shower.
Amber had friends over? Doubt. Amber doesn't have friends, they must have been some of Jade's people. Also since when is Amber too shy to eat in front of people? She made feeder porn for the internet for ages plus she quit Optavia to go to a barbecue with everyone else a few years ago.
Edit - Remember back a few years when folks thought Amber farted and she went to quite a lot of trouble to deny it and blame Twinkie? Is this the same woman who just told us she pooped her pants?
Here's a lil' video that has a clip of Amber talking about "fartgate"
NFG Katie
end edit
Here's information about me that no one asked for or needed - I once choked on a bite of blueberry waffle.
Amber had friends over? Doubt. Amber doesn't have friends, they must have been some of Jade's people. Also since when is Amber too shy to eat in front of people? She made feeder porn for the internet for ages plus she quit Optavia to go to a barbecue with everyone else a few years ago.
Edit - Remember back a few years when folks thought Amber farted and she went to quite a lot of trouble to deny it and blame Twinkie? Is this the same woman who just told us she pooped her pants?
Here's a lil' video that has a clip of Amber talking about "fartgate"
NFG Katie
AmberLynn Reid-#FartGate & Obese to Beast
end edit
Here's information about me that no one asked for or needed - I once choked on a bite of blueberry waffle.
I was alone in the house when it happened.
It was scary, I had no air, my vision was starting to grey out at the edges.
I ended up slamming myself onto the back of a chair, abdomen first. After a couple times, I could breathe again! Joy! Had a sore throat after.
At no time did I poop. Not even a little pee. Nothing.
Didn't throw up either.
I was obviously not as traumatized as Amber.
It was scary, I had no air, my vision was starting to grey out at the edges.
I ended up slamming myself onto the back of a chair, abdomen first. After a couple times, I could breathe again! Joy! Had a sore throat after.
At no time did I poop. Not even a little pee. Nothing.
Didn't throw up either.
I was obviously not as traumatized as Amber.
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- Joined
- Sep 23, 2021
When this is how the fat bitch eats a giant chunk of potato, of course she finally choked on one...
She barely chews that massive bite, no wonder when she puked up seafood boil it came out looking like it did when it went in. One day this will happen when there isn't a Wipey around and she'll be discovered dead on Pillow Couch Mountain, pants shitted and face blue, but at least the carpet won't be puked on.
She barely chews that massive bite, no wonder when she puked up seafood boil it came out looking like it did when it went in. One day this will happen when there isn't a Wipey around and she'll be discovered dead on Pillow Couch Mountain, pants shitted and face blue, but at least the carpet won't be puked on.
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2022
Do you think she was Winnie the poohing it when she shit herself? Lmfao sorry not sorry.
I don’t really believe any of this story besides her shitting herself. (Maybe chokeeeeen on a tater but the way gunt chokes on noodles it’s all so exaggerated and I think she truly shit herself and thats probably a normal occurrence)
She’s gleeful and not at all like the dangleen ankle tears. I firmly believe this is a shit distraction from another person calling her out for being a narcissist piece of lard. So many “omg thingggggs I can’t talk about have happened” and not once has she told a story like this until now. I hope density puts out a 3rd soon so we can see what other trauma based bs lie pookie can manifest.
I don’t really believe any of this story besides her shitting herself. (Maybe chokeeeeen on a tater but the way gunt chokes on noodles it’s all so exaggerated and I think she truly shit herself and thats probably a normal occurrence)
She’s gleeful and not at all like the dangleen ankle tears. I firmly believe this is a shit distraction from another person calling her out for being a narcissist piece of lard. So many “omg thingggggs I can’t talk about have happened” and not once has she told a story like this until now. I hope density puts out a 3rd soon so we can see what other trauma based bs lie pookie can manifest.
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- Joined
- Jan 9, 2020
Oh, never more than 5,000 calories in one sitting, you say?
I just so happened to have a video from Positive PR playing in the background today in which Hamber says:
(Sorry my clip is kind of fucky. This is from "Amberlynn Reid: January 2015: The Queen Of Moderation's Cold Cancels The Gym", timestamped @20:30)
Yes yes, I know that she said "in one day" rather than "in one sitting" on IG, but that is probably just more of her being specific with wording to cover her shelf ass. It's always fun to catch these little lies of hers when you're not even looking for them.
Never ever goise!!!
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
The only thing that would make The Tale of the Dangleen Esophagus better and more horrific would be her eating her (whole) food vomit like a dog. Talk about generating some PTSD.
Sorry for that image.
About eating when "people are over": if you unhinged your jaw like an anaconda to wolf down your meal, you probably wouldn't want outsiders seeing that. She'd have to waste an atom of her single active brain cell wondering about what the visitors said about thecircus freak train wreck human dumpster eating habits she has.
I watched it in full, on regular speed (ugh), and she is WAY too gleeful about this event. Hamber was SO traumatized, you guise! She was going to buckle down and focus on taking smaller bites, as well as chewing her food more thoroughly.
Really?
You're no storyteller, WannabeWriterLynn. You suck at that just like everything else. This also tells us you know that when someone is choking they have no air, so why don't you take a crack at retconning your hero story - the one about your baby brother supposedly wailing with the curtain pulls so wrapped around his neck he was turning purple before you waddled in to save the day.
Cunt.
Sorry for that image.
About eating when "people are over": if you unhinged your jaw like an anaconda to wolf down your meal, you probably wouldn't want outsiders seeing that. She'd have to waste an atom of her single active brain cell wondering about what the visitors said about the
I watched it in full, on regular speed (ugh), and she is WAY too gleeful about this event. Hamber was SO traumatized, you guise! She was going to buckle down and focus on taking smaller bites, as well as chewing her food more thoroughly.
Really?
You're no storyteller, WannabeWriterLynn. You suck at that just like everything else. This also tells us you know that when someone is choking they have no air, so why don't you take a crack at retconning your hero story - the one about your baby brother supposedly wailing with the curtain pulls so wrapped around his neck he was turning purple before you waddled in to save the day.
Cunt.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
Silly, Amber isn't a lil seven year old special needs kid from Brownsburg Indiana.
Something Amber said about how if someone her size is choking, you should beat on their back between the shoulder blades... That sounds like the best way to get the food to slip further down and make things worse. Maybe if they're upside down it would work, I guess?
Love how proud of herself Amber looks at the end. She really thinks she did something with that video.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
I have not watched this movie, so I have no idea if this is as copied as this person implies; however, I have seen the same comment about it in various other places.
Anyone know?
Edit: someone put up the choking scene.
Edit: someone put up the choking scene.
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- Joined
- Feb 10, 2022
Non-Sexy-Time Choking PSA
1:911 will find you quicker
2: your neighbors will come out and think you're nuts and see you need help
This guy explains it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQUKhyZ9j7s
2: your neighbors will come out and think you're nuts and see you need help
This guy explains it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQUKhyZ9j7s
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
The choking scene from The Whale doesn't have vomiting or pooping as far as I know, but we all know how quirky and creative Amber can be, maybe she added her own touches to it?
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
Sounds like it could be the title of some cheap knock-off JK Rowling book: Amber Reid and the curse of the Evil Epiglottis.
The first part that got me was the fact that 140 IQ Amber couldn't figure out to mime putting her hands around her neck - as is instinctual for choking individuals. I'm envisioning Amber flapping and Jade's like "Ooh, Charades! Okay, first word... um.... flapping? OW! Punching? Slapping? Slap happy- WTF IS THAT SMELL?!"
If I were to take a guess at how this went down: Partial airway obstruction. Amber's trying to cough to clear it, but is mostly ineffective because her lungs are already horribly overworked trying to oxygenate her tissues AT REST. The strain from trying to force herself to cough caused her to shart (which I'm guessing is a more or less regular occurance for Ambo). Maybe she clears it with her weak coughs, maybe Jade's thumping on her hump didn't worsen the situation due to the fat absorping the impact... dunno. Anyway, her squeezing and coughing and engaging abdominal muscles which haven't been used since her chor-e-o-griffing days get in on the action with her stomach, forcfully ejecting the contents, popping the potato cork and Mount Amber erupts all over their old coffeetable and living room rug. All of that irritates Amber's throat, and it takes a moment until the epiglottis relaxes again and she can start to breathe.
And Amber responds to this event by deciding that she needs a new coffeetable and rug, and hey while we're at it, let's buy more crap to make a new 'Gallery Wall' for YouTube content!!
One (slightly gross) thing I'm wondering (and yeah, maybe I'm looking too much into this/being too autistic). During the 'after' scene of her living room makeover, You can see the couch. One cushion is sort of smushed down - which is common for these low quality sofas - but it's only one side that's kind of crushed, and one that's mostly fine. Those crappy cushions get butt grooves from even 140lb people sitting on them. Do you think they flipped them after 'The Shartening'?
Here's the pic:
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- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
I was actually going to put that in my comment as well, I too unironically watched the Whale last night too and the choking scene feels like Amber ripped it. What is more suss is when she said it happened "one month ago" when tHE whale started streaming. Great film btw but the friend punched on his back too and was confused.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2017
Amber also tends to do a lot of theatrics during her mukbangs. "Mmm, mmm, mmm! OHHH MY GOODDDDD SOOOOO GOOOOOODDD!," fork twirling, etc. If she was flailing her arms or panicking, I'd have a hard time realizing that she was choking until she turned blue.
Still don't buy the choking story, but I can absolutely picture Jade thinking Amber is just being her retarded self until she realizes that piggy isn't squealing over boiled potatoes anymore.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
I'm glad onions at least working so I can read about morbidly obese women that shit themselves while choking to near death on food 
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
Guys I am just typing this to remind you that Amber was in foshter care. I did not know this and every time I learn this I shake my fist in utter rage and sadness of the life this double-digits, bean bag was denied.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
Which life? The one where she kisses the right frog and lives happily ever after? Or the one where she turns into a tweaking alkie, popping out kids every 18 months?
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2022
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
REEEEEECAP. Not a Plot Summary - this is too long to be a summary because there was just too much bullshit in this video to ignore. Don't worry; only key points will be in the TL;DR. A lawsuit? I'm not even gonna speculate - let's go!
TL;DR: 525.5lbs, which is only 3lbs below her last weigh in of 528.5lb and a FAILED WEIGHT LOSS GOAL, but gives her usual excuses. New goal is to stay within 1800-2000 calories and to actually lose weight this time (no number given). There is no lawsuit. Amber claims that her relationship with food is so much better now (#potatogate tells a different story), and is acting as though she believes she'll be approved for WLS after her next dietician appointment (which will happen around the same time that she finishes her 12th therapy session). Amber fills the rest of the vlog with lies, nonsense, and a bullshit story which never happened.
Leaving it out here so you don't have to open the spoiler if you DGAF about Ambo's nonsense:
[Edited to Add]
Her fans sent her a YuGiOh card, perhaps they should next send her a Magic: The Gathering card to celebrate her achievements in this WLS program. Perhaps this one:
Dietician appointment today! It's time for the monthly weigh and to see if Amber was able to lose 4 lbs in a month. Such dedication to weight loss!!
Amber's been weighing herself daily, and her scale shows that she's been slowly losing. Well, as she mentioned a month ago that her scale isn't giving her accurate readings (I guess yet another case of 'wonky batteries' or something), none of that means ANYTHING.
Amber reminds us that this wasn't a goal set by her dietician, but one that SHE asked for. Whatever, Ambo. I guess she's preparing us for her failure. No one's surprised - it's obvious you're doing the absolute bare minimum here.
JUMPCUT!! In the car. Very heavy rain... which I'm sure will turn into another PTSD incident for her in a later video.
Amber films a worm.
JUMPCUT!! Amber's back at home.
Hernia update: it is more than likely that they will be able to repair it during her WLS - so it's not gonna be repaired.
Gallbladder update: she's going to have her gallbladder checked.
Other things that need to be done before she's approved for WLS: another EKG, 4 more therapy sessions... and of course EVERYTHING the surgeon requires for all patients in regards to actually LOSING WEIGHT and showing an ability to stick to a diet.
Diet update: It's a lifestyle change, not a diet... where her lifestyle doesn't seem to change one bit. Dietician gave her a 2200 to 2500 calorie diet and Amber and the dietician COLLECTIVELY DECIDED that it was too many calories.
Translation: despite SUPPOSEDLY reducing her caloric intake by about 1000-1500 calories below what is required to maintain 500 lbs, Ambo ain't losing weight.
Also note how much her eyes are rolling around during this segment.
Amberlynn blames her lipedema, because she has a very very very very bad case. Apparently, Amber's lipedema doesn't follow the laws of thermodynamics... except whem Amber takes Ozempic and is too nauseated to eat. Don't think too hard about this - LOGIC DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO!!
Again, just saying, lipedema affects 11% of women. And I mean, cold for me to say, but to put it into perspective... that would have meant that 11% of women in Auschwitz had lipedema - and there was no one liberated from that camp who looked like Amber. Maybe you should donate your body to science, Amber: they could cure world hunger from studying you. Moving on.
Amber keeps fatsplaining lipedema and lymphedema [SKIP]
"2500 calories is just too much for me". If you had actually followed the macros that the dietician gave you, you would have only been eating about 1900-2100 calories. And if you had actually been accurately counting and eating 2200-2500, you would have lost weight.
NEW GOAL: 1800-2000 calorie diet, and ignore macros.
"I'm glad that I don't have to follow macros, because that got confusing and super overwhelming". You also complain that counting calories is overwhelming, so I think your next weigh-in will also be a fail.
Again, Amber, you could try the duct tape diet. Highly effective, and the starter kit is only $1.25 at the Dollartree. Think about it.
Exercise update: Amber is willing to show her supporters her exercising (despite feeling too shy to do so). You know, if her views get low enough and she's desperate. Hey! Jade had to clean up Ambo's pinwheeling last month. Her wage has likely since increased and Ambo's gonna have to get creative to get those clicks.
HAH!! Amber claims that the dietician wants Amber to exercise 2 TIMES PER WEEK! At least make your shit believable, Ambo. 'Arm ups' and 'floor touches' can be done daily.
Amber's next dietician check in will be around the same time as her 12th therapy session, insuring that she can be double-rejected for WLS at the same time! Convenience!
Amber notices that since the therapy and the zoloft and everything she's been doing, that her relationship with food is so much better than it was.
YOU CLAIMED TO HAVE ALMOST DIED FROM CHOKING ON A WHOLE POTATO AND YOU FAILED YOUR LAST DIETICIAN GOAL!!! AND SOMEHOW THAT'S AN IMPROVEMENT?!
Everytime she talks about her 'relationship with food', it reminds me of something I heard someone say "We should have relationships with PEOPLE, and use FOOD, and yet we use people and form relationships with food". It just fits Ambo so perfectly.
Amber claims she's doing so much better because she's now eating food from her own fridge. Now 'we' need to work on the 'lipedema and lympedema' - yeah, which is worked on by LOSING WEIGHT, which is what you were supposed to be doing since December.... 2013. Oh, and 'we' don't need to do anything; 'YOU' are the one eating enough for 2 NFL linebackers.
WEIGHT UPDATE: 521.8lbs on her home scale (that she has claimed in the past to not be accurate). Scale at clinic: 525.5lbs, or just 3lbs less than her last weigh-in of 528.5lb and a FAILED GOAL.
The dietician was proud of Amber losing 3lbs in a month... and also complimented Amber on her YouTube following and chor-e-o-griffing skills.
Amber thinks it's cool to see this improvement! Medication and therapy... despite Amber weighing 5lbs less during vlogmas 2022, before she started therapy or went back on medication.
JUMPCUT!! Playing with slime.. for 3 1/2 minutes [SKIP]
JUMPCUT!! Leaning on her counter in the bathroom.
Lawsuit Update: She does NOT currently have a lawsuit, and has never had a lawsuit. According to Amber, the rumour involved her having a car in 2014, but Amber says it's false.
Amber has had issues with things involving people with the same name as her.
Story time: when riding the bus during the Casey era, she missed the last bus, so she had to walk home. She got desperate, so when she passed a cop in a fast food parking lot (no doubt when Amber was taking a 20pc McNuggie break), she asked him for a ride home. While she was in the back of the car, the cop looked her up and found she had a warrant for a misdemeanor. It turned out to be someone else with Amber's name, but it scared her.
I'll take shit that didn't happen for $400, Alex. If this were real, she would have plastered it all over her Facebook and told it a dozen times on her channel. When cops get your name, the first thing they ask for is a birthdate to rule out others with the same name. Especially if your family cursed you with a trashy stripper/pornstar name.
Finally it's done. Thank GOD.
Amber's been weighing herself daily, and her scale shows that she's been slowly losing. Well, as she mentioned a month ago that her scale isn't giving her accurate readings (I guess yet another case of 'wonky batteries' or something), none of that means ANYTHING.
Amber reminds us that this wasn't a goal set by her dietician, but one that SHE asked for. Whatever, Ambo. I guess she's preparing us for her failure. No one's surprised - it's obvious you're doing the absolute bare minimum here.
JUMPCUT!! In the car. Very heavy rain... which I'm sure will turn into another PTSD incident for her in a later video.
Amber films a worm.
JUMPCUT!! Amber's back at home.
Hernia update: it is more than likely that they will be able to repair it during her WLS - so it's not gonna be repaired.
Gallbladder update: she's going to have her gallbladder checked.
Other things that need to be done before she's approved for WLS: another EKG, 4 more therapy sessions... and of course EVERYTHING the surgeon requires for all patients in regards to actually LOSING WEIGHT and showing an ability to stick to a diet.
Diet update: It's a lifestyle change, not a diet... where her lifestyle doesn't seem to change one bit. Dietician gave her a 2200 to 2500 calorie diet and Amber and the dietician COLLECTIVELY DECIDED that it was too many calories.
Translation: despite SUPPOSEDLY reducing her caloric intake by about 1000-1500 calories below what is required to maintain 500 lbs, Ambo ain't losing weight.
Also note how much her eyes are rolling around during this segment.
Amberlynn blames her lipedema, because she has a very very very very bad case. Apparently, Amber's lipedema doesn't follow the laws of thermodynamics... except whem Amber takes Ozempic and is too nauseated to eat. Don't think too hard about this - LOGIC DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO!!
Again, just saying, lipedema affects 11% of women. And I mean, cold for me to say, but to put it into perspective... that would have meant that 11% of women in Auschwitz had lipedema - and there was no one liberated from that camp who looked like Amber. Maybe you should donate your body to science, Amber: they could cure world hunger from studying you. Moving on.
Amber keeps fatsplaining lipedema and lymphedema [SKIP]
"2500 calories is just too much for me". If you had actually followed the macros that the dietician gave you, you would have only been eating about 1900-2100 calories. And if you had actually been accurately counting and eating 2200-2500, you would have lost weight.
NEW GOAL: 1800-2000 calorie diet, and ignore macros.
"I'm glad that I don't have to follow macros, because that got confusing and super overwhelming". You also complain that counting calories is overwhelming, so I think your next weigh-in will also be a fail.
Again, Amber, you could try the duct tape diet. Highly effective, and the starter kit is only $1.25 at the Dollartree. Think about it.
Exercise update: Amber is willing to show her supporters her exercising (despite feeling too shy to do so). You know, if her views get low enough and she's desperate. Hey! Jade had to clean up Ambo's pinwheeling last month. Her wage has likely since increased and Ambo's gonna have to get creative to get those clicks.
HAH!! Amber claims that the dietician wants Amber to exercise 2 TIMES PER WEEK! At least make your shit believable, Ambo. 'Arm ups' and 'floor touches' can be done daily.
Amber's next dietician check in will be around the same time as her 12th therapy session, insuring that she can be double-rejected for WLS at the same time! Convenience!
Amber notices that since the therapy and the zoloft and everything she's been doing, that her relationship with food is so much better than it was.
YOU CLAIMED TO HAVE ALMOST DIED FROM CHOKING ON A WHOLE POTATO AND YOU FAILED YOUR LAST DIETICIAN GOAL!!! AND SOMEHOW THAT'S AN IMPROVEMENT?!
Everytime she talks about her 'relationship with food', it reminds me of something I heard someone say "We should have relationships with PEOPLE, and use FOOD, and yet we use people and form relationships with food". It just fits Ambo so perfectly.
Amber claims she's doing so much better because she's now eating food from her own fridge. Now 'we' need to work on the 'lipedema and lympedema' - yeah, which is worked on by LOSING WEIGHT, which is what you were supposed to be doing since December.... 2013. Oh, and 'we' don't need to do anything; 'YOU' are the one eating enough for 2 NFL linebackers.
WEIGHT UPDATE: 521.8lbs on her home scale (that she has claimed in the past to not be accurate). Scale at clinic: 525.5lbs, or just 3lbs less than her last weigh-in of 528.5lb and a FAILED GOAL.
The dietician was proud of Amber losing 3lbs in a month... and also complimented Amber on her YouTube following and chor-e-o-griffing skills.
Amber thinks it's cool to see this improvement! Medication and therapy... despite Amber weighing 5lbs less during vlogmas 2022, before she started therapy or went back on medication.
JUMPCUT!! Playing with slime.. for 3 1/2 minutes [SKIP]
JUMPCUT!! Leaning on her counter in the bathroom.
Lawsuit Update: She does NOT currently have a lawsuit, and has never had a lawsuit. According to Amber, the rumour involved her having a car in 2014, but Amber says it's false.
Amber has had issues with things involving people with the same name as her.
Story time: when riding the bus during the Casey era, she missed the last bus, so she had to walk home. She got desperate, so when she passed a cop in a fast food parking lot (no doubt when Amber was taking a 20pc McNuggie break), she asked him for a ride home. While she was in the back of the car, the cop looked her up and found she had a warrant for a misdemeanor. It turned out to be someone else with Amber's name, but it scared her.
I'll take shit that didn't happen for $400, Alex. If this were real, she would have plastered it all over her Facebook and told it a dozen times on her channel. When cops get your name, the first thing they ask for is a birthdate to rule out others with the same name. Especially if your family cursed you with a trashy stripper/pornstar name.
Finally it's done. Thank GOD.
TL;DR: 525.5lbs, which is only 3lbs below her last weigh in of 528.5lb and a FAILED WEIGHT LOSS GOAL, but gives her usual excuses. New goal is to stay within 1800-2000 calories and to actually lose weight this time (no number given). There is no lawsuit. Amber claims that her relationship with food is so much better now (#potatogate tells a different story), and is acting as though she believes she'll be approved for WLS after her next dietician appointment (which will happen around the same time that she finishes her 12th therapy session). Amber fills the rest of the vlog with lies, nonsense, and a bullshit story which never happened.
Leaving it out here so you don't have to open the spoiler if you DGAF about Ambo's nonsense:
[Edited to Add]
Her fans sent her a YuGiOh card, perhaps they should next send her a Magic: The Gathering card to celebrate her achievements in this WLS program. Perhaps this one:
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