Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Attraction Slime]

The workbooks reminded me a lot of Life Plus Cindy, another severely mentally ill woman with an inability to stop posting

 

[Constellationzero]

Oklahoma is under a major risk of multiple tornado outbreaks today. She's going to be so skeeeered!

Didn't this fat idiot say during the Jade era that storms make her "liek...liderully puuup!"

 

[Bibbity Bobbity]

And she got another self-love workbook. The last thing Amber needs is more self-love.

Sigh. To feel any kind of self-worth, you have to actually DO SOMETHING of worth.

If she had any kind of parenting, she would have performed a task, then a parent would have praised her to bits. Self-love is earned,

She got the same reaction from parents by doing nothing. Why not just do nothing? Just consume.

 

[Mekahineyho]

Amber hobbling out of target like a peg legged pirate with a self love book, after ingesting double portions of the exact food that worsens her condition. How far will she get into the journal before it asks prompts about nutrition and moving the body and she writes “move more and eat less” and gets bored of it.

The one part of self love that she has slam dunked on is having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness because home girl only ever cares about herself and herself only. One would say she even disregards others feelings and time to achieve her self love.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

It's because - as with every single subject that Amber blathers about - she has no fucking clue what she's talking about and just parrots others like a small child mimicking grown ups. Amber conflates self-care with self-INDULGENCE. And then she needs to work on her "self-love" because her gluttonous, self-indulgent behaviour (that makes her feel good in the very short term) makes her feel bad in the long term (as the gluttonous and self-indulgent behaviour is self-destructive).

Though of course she'll never accept any of this, as then she would have to STOP AND CHANGE. So instead she insists that she knows "what works for HER", and keeps trying to love being a waste of resources who takes enough for 4 people while never giving back to anyone in any sort of meaningful way (illegally dumping improperly washed and stained 6x dresses, and fugly, sweaty scarves at GoodWill or on the less fat gorls in her orbit doesn't count as 'meaningful')...

TL;DR: just typical addict behaviour twisted and masked as self-love and self-improvement.

 

[Tiki Bar Man 2]

ded thread ded cow

 

[Dinosours]

Amber's new egregious lie is that she "doesn't usually order drinks from uber eats because it creeps her out". Not like there are multiple videos of her ordering 20$ mcdonalds diet cokes, starbucks, sonic for the good ice, etc, etc.

What even is "creeping her out"?

 

[Boolean Bitch]

*** VLOG ALERT!! ***
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5SmdafvJvs
Invidious: https://yewtu.be/watch?v=x5SmdafvJvs
Archive: NOT WORTH THE SERVER SPACE

Plot Summary with Commentary! When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was hanging out with the Granny-Grappler, eating a mountain of starch, gambling, and "hauling" self-love workbooks, pens, and vitamin gummies (while looking blazed out of her gourd). What's going on today, you ask? FUTURE BOOLEAN HERE: Absolute Bullshit... but my crew has taken an oath to Starfleet to boldly go so you don't have to, so TAKE US IN!...

... FULL STOP, ENSIGN!! What the hell am I even looking at in the thumbnail? All of the colours and patterns and textures are making me twitch. Oh yeah, and knock off the smug smirk, Ambo; you look like Grimace about to attend a funeral. Alright, let's do this.

Spoiler: what I ate today off track | takeout edition | vlog

"Hello Hello, welcome to a new vlog". Improper intro. Amber says that this is going to be a normal vlog... EXCEPT that she's going to add in what she eats today. So... just a normal vlog then?

Amber's going to show us how she eats when she's not worried what-so-ever about her weight at all! TRULY OFF-TRACK!! So... just a normal vlog then?

This is a completely off-track day. So... just a normal vlog then? WTF man, I don't know what she's -- OH!! I GET IT NOW: this is Amber's FAKE last hurrah before her new FAKE weight loss series. So... a completely normal vlog - just completely ignore that "except" modifier at the beginning. Gotcha.

JUMPCUT!!! Right into the gorge-fest: Five Guys fries, cheeseburger, and diet coke. Amber lies that she NEVER finishes the fries or cheeseburger.... yeah, she leaves the wrappers! (ba-doom-boom) No, seriously, I guess this is where she leaves two fries and a small piece of the bun to cheat herself out of that heart attack she knows she's slowly eating herself to.

Amber pretends to leave most of the fries and about a third of the burger.

Story Time: Ambo thought her Uber Driver was going to be her regular (a dude), but it was his wife instead because Uber-Dude broke his leg ... Amber nonchalantly says as she plows through the food. I thought Uber Deliveries were contactless? Oh nevermind: logic does not exist in this dojo!! Amber boasts about being a 30% tipper.

JUMPCUT!!! Getting ready to go to Uke's house!
(Gramma-Kris; google "uke judo" if you didn't get the joke - nevermind, I'll just explain it:

"Uke" is the up-side-down dude on the left.)

Amber's also going grocery shopping, so she's bringing her large rolling suitcase to be EVEN MORE of a spectacle than she already is. Ambo, just get one of those folding trolleys for your groceries. Oops, never mind. Right after I typed that, Amber said she's going to buy a grocery cart from Amazon.

JUMPCUT!!! Duck-lipping and preening for the camera while the Grappler and Uke can be heard yelling some conversation off-camera. More shots of The Grappler.

Weird slop on a cracker action! Diet Sprite can action! Oooh, calico cat which doesn't look unkempt or neglected. LOL that every single fucking animal in the Amberverse instinctually knows to hover around Amber to score some snacks. Hah! As soon as I typed that, Amber fed the damn thing table scraps.

JUMPCUT!!! Boomer up-side-down and blurry camera action while the Grappler and Ambo snark at each other for "B-roll"!

Another kitty! A gray tabby chilax'n while Ambo drinks another diet sodie.

JUMPCUT!!! Hurpling action at the grocery store with a shopping card full of fake food. New diet indeed! Amber promises that there's hulthy food at the bottom of the cart. Sensor sweep of the contents of the shopping cart indicate that NO ONE CARES!

JUMPCUT!!! At home with her rolling luggage. Want to see what she got at the grocery store? Tune in next time: same FAT time, same FAT channel! Rarity decides to camp out inside of the empty rolling suitcase. 1 of 3 pets accounted for.

JUMPCUT!!! Card game blathering. Playing this card game with The Grappler and her Uke reminds Amber back to when she was 18 and Kristine was doing drugs and beating the shit out of people, Gramma-Kris was faking cancer and cheating on Grampa-Kris, and Aunt Tammie was accusing Ambo of threatening her mother's (non-existent) sobriety they were all playing this same card game together. Amber's amazed at how they've all grown (especially the amount of "growing" that Ambo did).

JUMPCUT!!! Two Uncrustables sammiches and a diet orange sodie because Amber's a fucking 7 year old.

JUMPCUT!!! Taco-Bell cinnamon twists, one crunchy taco, and a black bean burrito with french fries and onion inside. Oh, but she had a few sips of water from a ridiculously large bottle (use a glass you fucking HEATHEN), so I guess that makes it more hulthy. Amber normally doesn't order drinks from UberEats because they creep her out. Just ignore the fact that she orderd a drink from UberEats at the beginning of this video... as well as all of the other time she's ordered a drink/cup of ice.

JUMPCUT!!! In the kitchen pretending to be done eating, but the video hasn't reached the minimum length for mid-rolls... so more bullshit questions. Amber admits to watching Life Plus Cindy (as this is where she got this idea from). I guess we know where the recent workbook obsession and self-diagnosed BPD plot lines also came from.
1) Amber claims to be doing "quite a bit" of delta 8. She tried to stop vaping for 6 days, but started up again.
2) Amber's ridiculous journal hoarding is NOT trolling.
3) Amber doesn't understand why people think she can't keep up with the numbers while playing bingo (her last video showed her falling behind and missing numbers).
4) Those compilations of Amber talking about her parents weren't her bashing them. Amber assures us that her mom has watched A LOT of her videos and that none of what Amber said was "bashing". It's crazy that you saw her bashing her parents as bashing her parents! Have you watched NONE of the show My 600lb Life?!

Okee, byee!!!

Amber shows herself eating like a pig (while pretending to show *some* restraint) because it's her pretend last-hurrah before her pretend new weight-loss series starting in her next vlog. Ambo hangs out with her family and plays cards, then reminisces to us about the past. 10 second clip at the grocery store, but the haul (of ultra processed, predigested food) will be shown in the next vlog. Ambo admits to watching Life Plus Cindy (confirming that this is where her most recent plot lines came from), and answers questions that NO ONE CARES about.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Hello mandatory white trash dream catcher.

...and blankets as curtains.

 

[Jak-A-Dilla #626]

Hello mandatory white trash dream catcher.
View attachment 5973632
...and blankets as curtains.

That's a mandala... In a straight up dope den. A "classy" one though.

 

[Peachtea18]

Is there any word on what the new subreddit is?

 

[Lesbian Grandma]

That's a mandala... In a straight up dope den. A "classy" one though.

I'm guessing you're talking about the thing on the far left, there is however also a dream catcher.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Is this the same gorl that expected us to believe that she ordered a $20 diet sodie from McDonald's because watered down brown syrup from a fassfud place "hits different" or something?

 

[Kier Starmer]

There are a few instances in this video where age REALLY catches up with Amber and I think its the winged eye liner. It makes her look like she is in her 40s because of how sunken her eyes are but also small in proportion to her giant head. Even if for example you compare @w4vy_gr4vy display image to now, fuck its rough. I am saying this now I honestly believe she is in the 550s. This bitch is trying to gaslight her audience into believing she is 80lbs heavier than late Krystal era. Also we see you Amber using the sunglasses to cover the true damage of her thinning hair.

I do have a tin foil though, I think Amber is using Grandma to strongarm lifts from Meth mom. Basically calling grandma and asking to see her and then grandma will call methmom and say bring Amber. In other instances she was using uber or delivery services.

 

[TardiX]

The last-hurrah mentality is one of many reasons she will always be a fatty fat fat.

 

[GorlWorld_Garden]

Hello mandatory white trash dream catcher.
View attachment 5973632
...and blankets as curtains.

I hate those "curtains", they look awful.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

I'm guessing you're talking about the thing on the far left, there is however also a dream catcher. View attachment 5974122

Am I tripping or does this look AI generated? Is Amber now such a mockery of what the human form should look like that my brain can't register what I'm seeing as a real person?

 

[TardiX]

Am I tripping or does this look AI generated? Is Amber now such a mockery of what the human form should look like that my brain can't register what I'm seeing as a real person?

Not necessarily AI but it did look like a green screen background to me at first. I'm sure it's not but the weird lighting and the disconnection between her and her surroundings is off.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

There's definitely something uncanny going on, it's like she's been shooped onto a photo of a different room. Our feeble minds cannot comprehend the form of an eldritch horror like Gorlypop.

 

[Boolean Bitch]

Am I tripping or does this look AI generated? Is Amber now such a mockery of what the human form should look like that my brain can't register what I'm seeing as a real person?

Yeah, there are a lot of things in the picture that look off and almost -but not quite - give it that "panavision 70" look:

• All of the textures and layers stack on top of each other, and that combined with Amber blocking much of the background, destroys your depth perception. I still struggle to see the yellow thing as a rug instead of a blanket because it looks like it's on the same level as the seat of the blue sofa in the background. The illusion almost makes it look like you're seeing opened sofabeds with a yellow blanket on it and stuff piled at the foot of the beds.
• Those steel bars behind Amber (likely the arm of a futon couch .. or a railing? Actually I dunno WTF that is) also kinda looks like the footboard of a bed and looks to be mashed right up into her shelf.
• Then you have the random items on the SHINY WALLS from them being painting with TRIM paint. I mean, I remember this from my early childhood as it was more durable and washable if needed (like if you had little kids that would try to use their crayons on the walls). Latex paints have come a long way since, and semi-gloss walls are just not a thing anymore (except in bathrooms/kitchens, and not in CHROME YELLOW).
• Oh, and the camera is being held at an agle. The background is VERY crooked, but the kitchen table only looks SLIGHTLY crooked from this angle. And Amber doesn't look any different than usual. Amber is trying to look cute and coy, but it's coming off as a Kubrick stare instead, which is also slightly unnerving.
• And then you have Amber jammed in the middle of the chaos with her already unreal looking figure. And the lighting around the table is brighter than the living room, making it look even more like she was just inserted into an image.

All that's missing is the soft focus lens, for Amber's face to start melting (even more than it's already started to), and the emotionless narration with the transatlantic accent playing over that trumpet tune:

"Amberlynn Reid is a heartwarming vlog series about a dame whose immense size and appretite is rivalled only by her narcissism. Watch as she tries to deal with her traumatic past by moving back to Oklahoma in order to rebuild bonds with her estranged family. Gramma-Lynn: a fiesty old trickster who owns the family flophouse. Daddy-Lynn: a troubled man whose only use is as a scapegoat or to progress a plot line. And Kristine: a femme-fatal with a troubled past and a mean right hook. These individuals, along with an imaginary lover named "Valentine", strike out to relearn the value of friendship and the meaning of love in a world where the only rules are that there are no rules. Amberlynn Reid - entertainment for the entire family."

Edit: typos