FREEZE FRAME!!
....
Big surprise, Ambo's hitting "Too big to fit into a 4-door sedan" levels of
fat "swelleeeen" again...
Amber's only back from this break because *So MaNy* people were telling her that they missed her. Translation: she needs $$$ and thinks her audience is more receptive to watch her now - or that they have at least forgotten about all of the previous drama. Kiwi Farms remembers.
Get Ready with Me poopbun and slathering makeup on her face with her fingers edition.
Amber's been online for 10 years, and she's noticed that with each break, the time away gets longer. Amber never knows when she's going to take a break until she's on the break. People just don't understand how hard it is to make hundreds of thousands of dollars by shitting on the audience that sends you free gifts, combined with low-effort content like fondling markers!
Something something "BOOLEEN" something something.
She hasn't been filming because she's just realized (for the millionth time) that filming her day-to-day bullshit in her life is taking away from her fully experiencing that day-to-day bullshit in her life. (Translation: Amber doesn't want to film herself sitting alone in the house scrolling on her phone all day and night while Slommus goes out to work and possibly fuck normal-weight chicks or play with another sow's fat folds).
Amber realizes that many of her audience thinks she got a strike. Well, NO! YouTube recently took down two videos - the rotisserie chicken and I ate 5000 calorie videos (I guess she's just going to ignore the "What a 500lb person TRULY eats in a day" video... or the 344K+ views from videos that were deleted after that. Ya lost 4 videos and others recently; I've already proved that. Stop fucking lying).
Oh yeah, that reminds me of something else I saw today:
LOL.! Keep up the good work!
Back to the (shit)show:
Amber starts by saying that she understands why the rotisserie chicken video was taken down, then buys time to think by blabbing about her eyebrows. When she returns to the topic of the video, she deflects about how she DOESN'T understand it because she only ate about 300 calories of chicken (a-la shrimpgate). Amber's pretending to not understand that it was removed based on the self-destructive thoughts she was voicing in that video, and likely not because of anything to do with the damn chicken.
OTHER MOOK-BONGERS GET TO EAT ON CAMERA.rant
Amber then talks about the 5000 calorie video, saying she understands because she's 500lbs (or at least possibly MIGHT have been 500lbs during the filming of that video). Again, Amber doesn't understand it more about the things she was saying, than the food (and this is why she won't talk about the "what a 500lb person truly eats" video - aka: the "I have no mommy so watch me eat my feelings and feel sorry for me" video).
MUH DESCRIMINATION!! Take down EVERYONE ELSE'S videos of them eating food!
Storytime: It was a journalist from
NBC who contacted Amber, as they were writing about Nikacado and doing a report on fatphobia and "Boolean" (stop talking about me - I had no involvement in this!!). Amber usually says no, but the journalist said that they already did an interview with a YouTuber (that Amber immediately assumed to be ZM). The journalist contacted YouTube, who decided to go through Amber's ENITRE 3000 video library, and only deleted 2 (It was 4 and I've already proved that - plus, those 2 videos wouldn't have resulted in almost 700K views worth of videos disappearing last week, so suck it, Ambo).
In case you're new here, this whole "article on fatshamming and bullying" story is bullshit - although I can believe that a troll "researching" Amber's online behaviour and contacting YouTube could have triggered this.. I just feel so embarassed for Amber that it actually took her THIS LONG to respond, and this is the best nonsense she could come up with.
Amber's now blathering about reaction channels and their LIES!!!!
Eyeliner break (damn those wings get longer each time). Amber wishes that we could have seen her amazing makeup a few days ago. Yeah, if only you had a RECORDING DEVICE to capture that, and a PUBLIC PLATFORM to upload it to so we could have seen it! You know, like YouTube, or InstaGram, or TikTok, or Snapchat, or...
Amber's goal for the rest of October and November is to upload Mo We Fr - but there's no promises. But when (IF) she does upload, it's going to be a clusterfuck of whatever garbage she has filmed in the last month (she didn't say that in so many words... but you know that's what it's gonna be). Amber's won't commit to whether she's doing Vlogmas or not. If Vlogmas was starting today, she wouldn't do it (I guess Slommus is covering the bills - anyone taking bets on whether Ambo still has a lease in OKC?)
Makeup talk [SKIP]
Rarity tail! 1 of 3 pets accounted for.
Poopbun and menopause talk. More talk about how she shouldn't have taken her Estradiol - I guess you should have been following up with your Oncologist over those two years instead of just phoning the pharmacy for refills, eh? Again, instead of Amber being worried about the consequences this could have caused to her body, she obsesses about how she used to straighten and crimp her hair a lot. Amber wants praise for going a year without putting heat on her hair. Here you go, Ambo:
Oh wait, you have to stop drinking/vaping for that one. Sorry, I couldn't find a "hair care challenge coin". It's almost like it's a shitty, worthless accomplishment! You'll just have to settle for this one:
Hair talk [SKIP]
Amber pretends that she washed her hair last night. It's her hair conditioning products that make her hair look greasy! (And also magically make her skin and clothing look greasy, too, apparently...)
Amber says that she's not a big as a house. Oh, of course, Amber. Your face isn't getting bigger; your eyes/nose/mouth just keep getting smaller as they all migrate closer and closer together at the dead centre of your face. You aren't fooling anyone.
Amber quickly half-promises weigh ins (likely old, out-dating ceiling shot weigh-ins) and then signs off. Byee!!! (Fuck you, Amber).
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