Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Rotogravure]

I'm eagerly awaiting her report of Pride. Assuming she even actually goes, she was 1. Planning on buying new flats and wearing them (she doesn't wear tennis shoes ya'll they make her feet look fat and dumb) and 2. Is wearing a cardigan outside at a festival parade, in Kentucky (76 with 55% humidity, so mid-80s feeling roughly). 3. Won't wear sunscreen, it messes with her foundation.

Girl.

 

[smallmilk]

Rafe is taller than Amber. They stood next to each other at the end of the first YN they did together and she stands about a head taller. I think they said she is 5'9".

Ah i didnt see that one.
I guess the fact that i only saw them together was when rafe would be behind amber fooled me.

Still, no matter how fat rafe is amber will always be the sun of this solar system

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

Agreed, I can't wait to see the parade vlog. She won't be able to keep up with her friends. Will the car break down, it will be carrying like 1600 lbs, Becky 350, Amber 500, Rafe 430, and Hannah 460.
What will she wear? Her staple tight black pants will end up wet with sweat in a matter of minutes? Can you imagine the sweat marks between her legs and around her rolls? (oh, but she said she doesn't sweat...) Will she wear a maxi dress and chafe her thighs? There's no way she'll survive more than a few minutes and she's going to ruin everyone else's time complaining. I bet she ends up vlogging from the car with the A/C on.

I'm eagerly awaiting her report of Pride. Assuming she even actually goes, she was 1. Planning on buying new flats and wearing them (she doesn't wear tennis shoes ya'll they make her feet look fat and dumb) and 2. Is wearing a cardigan outside at a festival parade, in Kentucky (76 with 55% humidity, so mid-80s feeling roughly). 3. Won't wear sunscreen, it messes with her foundation.

Girl.

 

[haygurlhay]

I hope my some miracle someone is at the pride parade and records miss piggy waddling around and trying to catch her breath.

 

[Malibougie]

What? As a float?

I'm eagerly awaiting her report of Pride. Assuming she even actually goes, she was 1. Planning on buying new flats and wearing them (she doesn't wear tennis shoes ya'll they make her feet look fat and dumb) and 2. Is wearing a cardigan outside at a festival parade, in Kentucky (76 with 55% humidity, so mid-80s feeling roughly). 3. Won't wear sunscreen, it messes with her foundation.

Girl.

my guess is our gorl Big Amber will be "too in the moment" to remember to vlog a single moment of her trip to the trip to IHOP...err I mean PRIDE

 

[FatFuckingClown]

She looks like a hot air balloon.

Spoiler: more like a blimp

 

[SisterChristian]

Now back to the pointing and laughing...

Has anyone seen "Rafe" -or any of 'em - actually spell her name? (I can't sit through more than ten seconds of AL without giving my poota an impromptu flying lesson, so scuse if dumb question.)

I really, REALLY hope they do spell it RAFE. Cos it's one of those bitch things the superior English do to separate out the nobs from the plebs*, pronounce things differently from their spelling. The actual name is spelled Ralph. And please, please let her surname be Featherstonehaugh >:-)

*it makes up for lack of chins in the English gentry. And chromosomes.

According to her YT account, yes its it's Rafe Archer.

 

[Oh Hamburgers]

Ewwwwww! Amber, stop showing your massive, meaty, disgusting arm!! I have no fucking clue why you think you're sexy and why you've been letting your old lady cardigans slip off of your arm like that as if it looks good, but sweet baby Jesus, please just STOP it! Fucking sickening. That arm is easily the size of at least 7 normal sized arms. Holy fuck

 

[Dovahshit]

I'm getting knee pain just looking at this.

i bet there is a cake hidden there somehere....

 

[Xenomorph]

A moment of silence for that poor skeleton.

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

i bet there is a cake hidden there somehere....

And that pic is from Dec. 2015, back when she could still fit into tennis shoes.

 

[Oh Hamburgers]

On one of her YouNows, someone asked if she snores. She said she hardly makes any sound when she sleeps. That she lightly snores. Who are you trying to kid, Amber? You're literally a QUARTER OF A TON! And you want us to believe that you not only don't have sleep apnea but that you don't saw fucking logs while sleeping? She always tries to convince people that she's this delicate little princess. You're not fooling US, Amber.

 

[FeedMeLobsterNow]

Rafe is a bit shorter than amber so it makes her look smaller
View attachment 238259

Rafe stood next to Amber during the first younow she was on. Rafe is nearly 6 ft tall iirc. And she is huge.

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

On one of her YouNows, someone asked if she snores. She said she hardly makes any sound when she sleeps. That she lightly snores. Who are you trying to kid, Amber? You're literally a QUARTER OF A TON! And you want us to believe that you not only don't have sleep apnea but that you don't saw fucking logs while sleeping? She always tries to convince people that she's this delicate little princess. You're not fooling US, Amber.

Becky probably sleeps right through the noise, it sounds just like the sawmill where she spends 12 hours a day. Speaking of which, Amber was saying in one of the YN's that she had to explain to Becky that sometimes she would have to do vlogging and younow around her because it's her job. That's pretty shitty of Amber considering she works so little. Becky's not forcing her to watch her make the cabinets.
Oh, and Rafe claims to work for Hannah's mom, emptying her bedpan, despite saying before that she didn't work. She got very defensive when asked about her job, just like Amber does. I imagine both she and hannah are on disability. They're all liars, big surprise there. They also shouted out the diamonds in the bra story, seemed to like it almost as much as they like KF, being so up-to-date on the gossip.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

According to her YT account, yes its it's Rafe Archer.

Oh how perfect. Choose yourself an "I'm a free-spirited artiste, full of mystery and depth"* name, hinting at your long history of enigmatic complexity.....and spell it wrong. Oops.

Is there a "Cheese of the Year" Award for the cow that keeps on giving?

Btw, anyone else think Ralphie's missus looks awful pissed off every time she's around the Blimp Queen? Or does she just look like a bulldog chewing a wasp all the time?

*also known as "pretentious twat"

 

[Token_Texan]

Becky probably sleeps right through the noise, it sounds just like the sawmill where she spends 12 hours a day. Speaking of which, Amber was saying in one of the YN's that she had to explain to Becky that sometimes she would have to do vlogging and younow around her because it's her job. That's pretty shitty of Amber considering she works so little. Becky's not forcing her to watch her make the cabinets.
Oh, and Rafe claims to work for Hannah's mom, emptying her bedpan, despite saying before that she didn't work. She got very defensive when asked about her job, just like Amber does. I imagine both she and hannah are on disability. They're all liars, big surprise there. Rafe also shouted out the diamonds in the bra story, she seemed to like it almost as much as she likes KF, being so up-to-date on the gossip.

Did she really shout out the story!??! OMG!

 

[Ambaby]

Did she really shout out the story!??! OMG!

Diamonds in the bra? How do I not know this story? What does it mean?

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Bloody hell. I know she's a meaty lass, but surely she's not exerting so much pressure on that poor bra that it's creating diamonds?

 

[Barbarella]

Diamonds in the bra? How do I not know this story? What does it mean?

It's in the AL fanfic thread. Or, I should say, haterfic...

 

[Five Bladed Knife]

(she doesn't wear tennis shoes ya'll they make her feet look fat and dumb)

Yeah, that'd be her fatness and dumbness making her entire self look fat and dumb. Tennis shoes would just add that layer of WTF that makes lolcows so special, what with their unfortunate implications of exercise and activity. But that said, if she's enjoying Charcot feet already, then she ought to wear supportive shoes so she doesn't make things worse. Because as bad as her feet undoubtedly hurt now, they're going to get way worse--the only question is how quickly they'll deteriorate. I seriously doubt that whatever cheap-ass flats she was planning to buy at whatever godforsaken Shoe Carnival discount shop exists in that dumbfuck capitol of the world she calls a home are going to give those delicate princess hooves of hers even a little of the support they need, and she'll look fat and dumb no matter what shoes she stuffs her trotters into. I'm sure cost is a bigger concern, myself; for all the stupid shit she constantly buys, really good supportive shoes are expensive. She doesn't buy quality stuff, ever.

And then to just wear those cheap-ass flats on a long walk without breaking them in? What, has the neuropathy already set in? I honestly don't know here. I can't do that myself. I have weird feet so I don't know if there really are people out there who can buy flats and just wear them like that.

Shoes aside, I don't think she's going to go to this Pride event, but I almost hope she does. It's nothing but hilarious to imagine a solid ton of Monster Squad slowly waddling and shuffling down the road like a pod of stately whales, forcing everyone at the event to go around them and deal with them.