Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Five Bladed Knife]

Good eye. I definitely thought it was a medium on camera.

Quite okay, it's easy to misgauge sizes when all you have for a visual reference point is Big AL's huge meaty hooves, blown-up blob body, and ham hock arms to go by. I didn't even know the pizza was the stuffed crust kind; I just knew that there is no way in nine hells that Hamber would order pizza and not get the biggest size and most calorie-loaded type the restaurant can possibly make.

The groom is wearing jeans and work boots. How fucking embarrassing. So pathetically white trash

Well, to be fair. .. if you know you can't have the perfect fairytale wedding or the chic Sex and the City nuptial shindig, might as well go all out the other way so guests don't think you tried and failed to ape those styles. It's very white trash, but there's a little part of me that sort of respects a couple that doesn't shoot so high that they bankrupt themselves and still fail to meet the mark. The plastic flowers however are horrible no matter what effect someone's going for. That's a mark of the half-ass attempt. Bride should have said fuck it and had her church's Sunday school make paper roses instead or something, or skipped flowers and carried bottles of deer lure to really push through the theme.

In her newest video, I was amazed that she was about to weigh herself on the scale in the middle of the room so she couldn't lean on anything, but of course, low batteries.

Yeah, damn, batteries go out so fast in scales. Don't you know? Mine only last like 20 um years. Gosh, guys, we'll never see her try it again, guess we just have to take her word for her weight from now on since her one attempt to meet a reasonable standard failed. That was the only attempt she'll ever make and gosh we just missed the chance. Oh well! Back to weigh-ins next to the towel rack or counter with weird angles and cuts and no time stamps. Surely nobody will talk about it again ever.

However, this is the first time a lolcow has ever indirectly responded to anything I've written so I'm feeling just a little smug.

She blamed the cats for it. Hah!

Yeah, those cats probably are just like mischievous poltergeists being left alone and neglected all day, but unless they pissed on the scale and shorted it out, I'm not buying that at all. Stupid cow can't even lie decently. I wish I could tell her to at least think about it a bit first and put some fucking effort in to concoct a halfway plausible story, but that'd be a real departure for her. I wonder if she realizes that her dishonesty is a big factor in why she can't keep friends around, why she is so fat, why she can't get ahead in life. .. but hey food at least will never call her out for lying and cheap baubles from Walmart won't ever turn away from her. Just eat more, Hamber, that'll solve all your problems.

 

[Rihanna Ikari]

The majority of women who post Weight Watchers stuff on YouTube seem to have around 30 points, which from a quick random plug of one of their "what I eat in a day"s into MyFitnessPal is around 1200 calories (depending on how many "free" foods you have). I imagine they're all bewildered by Amberlynn in their tag claiming she gets over 50 more points and double the calories.

 

[Cotton_eye_joe]

What filter is this?

 

[cruelsound]

What filter is this?

The one that makes people look like they lost 150lbs and celebrated with a face lift and makeover at Sephora.

 

[Stanley_Buttkiss]

You are supposed to eat the full amount of your daily points. It gets people eating a steady amount of food and ends the starve/binge cycle. The logic is to eat at a steady, moderate deficit and avoid falling off the wagon due to unsustainable restricting.

But our queen of moderation is either a) not calculating her activity level/points correctly or b) is lying about her weight. Plus, she thinks she knows better than the program, knows better than doctors, knows better than everyone, so she probably won't follow the plan anyway.

Hamber the Diet & Nutrition Expert

Ah! Thanks for the info!

 

[oasys]

What filter is this?

 

[ADHD]

Is it possible that her recent weigh-in that actually showed the weight was footage recorded earlier in the year?

 

[Malibougie]

She blamed the cats for the scale's batteries being dead again. I knew Wasabi was obsessed with his weight, but I didn't know that it had gotten this out of control.

Basically AL is a big fat liar face and only likes to tell the truth when it suits her and that is rarely. It makes no sense that she would be getting 84 points especially if she was using January's weight (which makes no sense).

 

[SailorJupiter]

She was using pre-recorded weigh ins in her last two vlogs. No fucking way is 470 84 points. She's full of shit lmao. Scale doesn't work? Yeah right. She took out the batteries and put dead ones in because she doesn't want us to know that she's over 500 lbs. She's a real POS. The daily points to lose 100 lbs from 470 is 54 daily points...so how the fuck is she at 84.

 

[EH 110]

Quite okay, it's easy to misgauge sizes when all you have for a visual reference point is Big AL's huge meaty hooves, blown-up blob body, and ham hock arms to go by. I didn't even know the pizza was the stuffed crust kind; I just knew that there is no way in nine hells that Hamber would order pizza and not get the biggest size and most calorie-loaded type the restaurant can possibly make.

We know damn well Big Amber isn't going to order a small or medium in anything.

 

[formerfatcow]

 

[Entertained409]

I just fucking died!! Too much!!

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Just an idea - maybe she put a higher weight into the calculator than she actually is?

Sounds nuts but a) it means she'd get a higher number of points which she'd see as "easing in" (proper food portions must look terrifyingly small and unachievable, especially as it doesn't hit the sides on the way in. What with mookboorngs, snacks, eating in front of the TV etc she's likely lost any ability to listen to her bodily clues that tell her "enough," even before taking into account what must be a huge stomach by now.)

And b) she's all about instant gratification. If she started with a false high weight, she'd get the high from "losing" more in the first weeks. It could give her an artificial boost.

I honestly hope she can do it, although I'm doubtful - everyone's said she needs to face up to why she over-eats and deal with the underlying stuff. I veer between pity and annoyance with her. Prove us wrong, Amberlynn. Please. And I don't mean that in a chippy way - I'll be so happy for you if you can give us all a big "fuck you."

 

[AL's Fupa]

I just had to. I'm petty as fuck.

 

[Cocco]

I just watched her last video wtf is this WW, she ate all day basically, more than she usually claims to eat. How can someone eat all that stuff + zero movement and still drop kg. I get the starve/binge cycle etc someone was saying before but still it seems a lot of food for a sedentary lifestyle...

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

Every time Amber eats a whole pizza, an angel cries.

 

[Rotogravure]

I was curious about WW points -- since I've never done WW and I have no idea how they really work. For a 500 pound 5'3 woman who does nothing all day, she'd get 71 points. And it doesn't even change at 600 pounds... I tried three different sites; all the same results. I have no idea where she would be getting 84+ from.

 

[hamplanet]

Newest video:

Lol at her saying her turkey & chickpeas was a "lot of food" like she wouldn't guzzle down double of that easily. It legitimately looks like 3 serving sizes at least.

 

[cruelsound]

I was curious about WW points -- since I've never done WW and I have no idea how they really work. For a 500 pound 5'3 woman who does nothing all day, she'd get 71 points. And it doesn't even change at 600 pounds... I tried three different sites; all the same results. I have no idea where she would be getting 84+ from.

View attachment 247116

The app itself will go above 500 pounds. I think you need a WW account though. I'm not sure why all of these online calculators max out at 500 pounds.

 

[mookbangqueen]

I've never understood really the point of weight watchers? It all seems sort of mindless, when I feel like weightloss should be a conscious effort. Amber just relies on this app to tell her how much to eat, when she should just be calculating CICO. Bit of a PL but I'm about half amber's weight and currently on a weightloss journey, and all of the food she showed in that video would be a "binge" for me. But hey, if it works, I guess it works then.