Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[idosometimes]

Lardarse losing weight is the worst possible outcome. In her mind, she is literally the world's smartest weight loss expert ever on Youtube in history while requiring thousands and thousands of kcal/day to maintain her weight. She is not just maintaining, but gaining. This still does not stop her from being smartest person in the room and completely ignoring actual experts and a few outright frauds who are smarter than her.

Weight loss would be "proof" she knows what "works for [her]". She would be constantly telling other people how wrong they are. it would not be funny any longer. It would just be me-mad-making.

I know this has been re-hashed thousands of times, so I apologize, but how can Amber wake up every morning (afternoon, lezbereal) and face the existence of being her? That body? How has she not ended it? How can you experience any genuine moments of happiness in your life when you are a literal behemoth. Once again, apologies I know this has been discussed billions of times, it still astounds me though.

She does not believe she has a serious problem. She claims to wear size XXXXL shirts because she can almost squeeze into 4X dresses if they are made from the "right" kind of material. Her only real goal is to eat. She claims it is just "binge monster", but she never eats human sized portions. She would show those pics from restaurants where she consume dinner for 4 just by herself. Food is her life. She will never give it up.

 

[EH 110]

She bought a set of mermaid brushes for Rafe for Christmas and then kept them for herself after the Rarity drama. She then stuck them in a vase of rocks that she had made from a failed craft where she bought fake flowers to make into pens or some shit and then cut them all too short.

Yeah, I think the brushes came from Justice, which is a store for little girls and tweens. LOL

 

[Mandaark]

I am in astonish at the rare form SassyLynn is in tonight, y'all:
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"Everyone" in the house might eat pizza, but didn't Becky bring that pizza in the kitchen while Eric and Rickie were filming themselves cooking a healthy dinner? Like a ridiculous child, you can always tell Amber's hiding something when she decides to play games with the truth rather than just flat out denying something.

Spoiler: Speaking of Lying...

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VictimLynn basically told us "WORD FOR WORD" that her mean quack of a doctor forced her to eat nothing but beef jerky and wouldn't allow her to eat vegetables! Thank god she was smart enough to ignore his advice!

And not only is our Amber a nutrition expert, after going to a few psych appointments she clearly has earned a phd in psychology through a combination of osmosis and her naturally high IQ.
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People couldn't possibly dislike HER, these spiteful sadsacks are unfulfilled and jealous of her success, Booboo!

How she responded about her doctor's diet plan was eerily similar to how she responded to Aunt Tammie catching her in a lie, in those old text screenshots

"If you can't believe me then it just proves..."
"It was literally word for word"

She's so utterly predictable.

 

[Optavia Sales Rep]

The only bad habit our gorl DOESN’T have is smoking. Which she might want to take up, she’d lose a couple pounds.

Spoiler: Annoyed Sperging

I’m not kidding. Her health is SO bad at this point I genuinely think she might be better off with tobacco in her lungs and a loss of appetite than all the health complications coming from her insane weight. But she would N E V E R pick up something so dangerous and filthy as a cigarette, she is beyond that booboo. No, she’ll stick to her after-dinner Pizza Hut, thank you very much.

I'm not familiar with vaping, but could she do that instead? I know vape pens can get gross if you don't take care of them, but would Amber consider that "cleaner" than smoking?
Hypothetically speaking of course, she'd never deign to follow a suggestion from the haydurs.

 

[ADHD]

The only bad habit our gorl DOESN’T have is smoking. Which she might want to take up, she’d lose a couple pounds.

Spoiler: Annoyed Sperging

I’m not kidding. Her health is SO bad at this point I genuinely think she might be better off with tobacco in her lungs and a loss of appetite than all the health complications coming from her insane weight. But she would N E V E R pick up something so dangerous and filthy as a cigarette, she is beyond that booboo. No, she’ll stick to her after-dinner Pizza Hut, thank you very much.

I'm not sure that would help. Amber managed to eat through Phentermine, which is a stronger appetite suppressant. Plus, tons of deathfats smoke, so it can't be that effective for weight loss for people who are determined to eat.

using cheap and long expired makeup

What I don't understand is how she still has any left after 12 years, especially since she claims she uses it all the time. Is this some sort of everlasting makeup brand?

 

[Snusmumriken]

I'm not sure that would help. Amber managed to eat through Phentermine, which is a stronger appetite suppressant. Plus, tons of deathfats smoke, so it can't be that effective for weight loss for people who are determined to eat.

That's true. She'd probably eat even more to compensate for the ten seconds she had something inedible in her mouth.

I'm not familiar with vaping, but could she do that instead? I know vape pens can get gross if you don't take care of them, but would Amber consider that "cleaner" than smoking?
Hypothetically speaking of course, she'd never deign to follow a suggestion from the haydurs.

Not familiar either but I'm pretty sure they have flavored vapes like green apple or whatever so that might be more her style. Sadly Amber's spirit is that of a five year old girl in a tutu so nothing that requires an ID will ever hold her interest.

 

[clusterfuckk]

What I don't understand is how she still has any left after 12 years, especially since she claims she uses it all the time. Is this some sort of everlasting makeup brand?

It’s like all the tarps she buys that shrink and grow with all the ‘swelleeeen’

 

[Spergoy of Cuckkad]

Yeah, I think the brushes came from Justice, which is a store for little girls and tweens. LOL

The weird thing is I've noticed kids makeup is sometimes more expensive than normal adult shit. I guess its the glitter and pink and tackiness that adds onto the price, while you can get a generic brand of whatever for much cheaper and higher quality. Maybe she sees the price and thinks its "luxury" lmao.

Ham's taste in makeup and clothes is that of a 55 year old religious woman mixed with an 8 year old so I understand why she would prefer kids' stores over normal drug store stuff. I wonder if we'll ever get a Claire's or a Justice haul, I'd enjoy it. MOAR PINK GLITTERY JOURNALS YOU GUISE. Or soap, since that seems to be her new autistic hyperfixation.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Is this some sort of everlasting makeup brand?

It's Styeshadow™

 

[THOTto]

I'm not familiar with vaping, but could she do that instead? I know vape pens can get gross if you don't take care of them, but would Amber consider that "cleaner" than smoking?
Hypothetically speaking of course, she'd never deign to follow a suggestion from the haydurs.

Vaping causes almost all the same issues as smoking along with popcorn lung (that can’t be reversed) and it looks like it may be linked to lung collapse. With how much weight is pushing down on her airway and lungs along with her lowered immune system both would be a bad idea. She be much more likely to develop pneumonia as well. She’d also have to smoke/vape a lot to actually curb her appetite.

 

[EvaBraunsGhost]

Like.......whuuuuut???
You told us more than one version so how in the name of fuckity-fuck could it be 'word for word'?
Your Dr said you need WLS, your Dr said it wouldn't work for you...he said to eat veggies with a lean protein, but you gave up because you weren't to eat veggies - THATS why we think know you were lying, but if you told the truth the first time that plan is both healthy and sustainable and you'd have shed multiple pounds as well...

Does she literally answer things in such a cuntish irrelevant way to cause as much confusion as possible?
I honestly can't work out exactly what she is even trying to say here, it's incredible that she has the gall to say because people think she's lying, the diet plan was trash???

 

[marjoram]

Care to know what Thumby puts up with in exchange for her stupid hats and T-shirts?
Check out page 653 (about half-way down the page)
'Course, this is from Kasey's perspective but really, does anyone think Al's changed for the better?
Warning: it's fucking awful.
And a big THANKS to CXNT for saving this ( and pretty much everything else) for all future haydursss

 

[literally low-key]

No diet for her is sustainable. Most she doesn't even start. Low calorie anything scares the shit out of her.

 

[Strawberry Pocky]

Yeah, I think the brushes came from Justice, which is a store for little girls and tweens. LOL

Another gobsmackingly messed-up Lolcow (but on the opposite end of the body size/dysmorphia/ED spectrum) is Anna Johnson, better known as The Fit Vegan Ginger.

Ginge also has the horrid clothing and fashion taste of a 79-year-old Sunday School teacher; that has clashed horribly with a hyperactive Third Grader....and she also shops frequently at Justice. In fact, Ginge is just as well-known for her cringey black raccoon-pencil eyeliner makeup as Hamber is for her oh so famous pointy weeeengs.

I cannot take this now because I'm imagining an Inter-Lolcow crossover between these two total 'tards and the idea is utterly killing me. They should be sponsored to hook up and do an episode of Supersize vs Superskinny.

I'm not sure that would help. Amber managed to eat through Phentermine, which is a stronger appetite suppressant. Plus, tons of deathfats smoke, so it can't be that effective for weight loss for people who are determined to eat.

Yep, I was going to bring up the old bygone, abandoned-before-it-even-had-a-chance Phentermine "phase" too.
If I'm right (tho MedKiwis and ScienceKiwis please correct me if I'm wrong) Phentermine is one of the strongest and one of the most clinically successful appetite suppressant/weight loss drugs a Doctor can prescribe. It's usually not even written out for patients who aren't at least obese or morbidly obese and NEED to lose weight for health reasons. I think its sometimes seen used for BED patients too now?

Hamber wasn't even slowed down on that stuff. She gorged herself on half a pizza while musing about how she wasn't even hungry She spun some completely nonsense, incomprehensible gibberish later about how "not feeling hungry" scares her. It scares her, you guys. She purposefully stuffed herself while basically being on medical-grade Speed. A puff on a cigarette or vape ain't gonna do it. She is beyond hope.

Fellow Lolcow Chantal/Foodie Bloopy has had a similar experience of porking herself up while on Vyvanse. These women are utterly astonishing.

 

[TwinkoStorr]

I like how she recently said she got rid of a lot of stuff yet she decided to keep an eyeshadow that's 12 years old.
Which makes me wonder why she threw all those expired protein(?cant remember for sure) bars? She eats lidurally anything she gets her greasy hands on (throwback to "cucumber boats").

 

[SituationTypeThing]

Yep, I was going to bring up the old bygone, abandoned-before-it-even-had-a-chance Phentermine "phase" too.
If I'm right (tho MedKiwis and ScienceKiwis please correct me if I'm wrong) Phentermine is one of the strongest and one of the most clinically successful appetite suppressant/weight loss drugs a Doctor can prescribe. It's usually not even written out for patients who aren't at least obese or morbidly obese and NEED to lose weight for health reasons. I think its sometimes seen used for BED patients too now?

Hamber wasn't even slowed down on that stuff. She gorged herself on half a pizza while musing about how she wasn't even hungry She spun some completely nonsense, incomprehensible gibberish later about how "not feeling hungry" scares her. It scares her, you guys. She purposefully stuffed herself while basically being on medical-grade Speed. A puff on a cigarette or vape ain't gonna do it. She is beyond hope.

Fellow Lolcow Chantal/Foodie Bloopy has had a similar experience of porking herself up while on Vyvanse. These women are utterly astonishing.

It's not THAT great, but it's pretty good stuff. There are lots of pay-for-play clinics that will prescribe it even if you're just 20lb over (welcome the TMI ratings, but I got hooked on it back in the phen fen days when I was a normal size, I just WANTED to be 2 instead of a 10, so for $150 a week, I got my packet of pills). Phenfen was the shit, too bad fenfluramine was taken off the market.

That said, it is pretty strong stuff and could easily help her shed 100 or two. It's not the strongest stuff on the market anymore only because there are new drug combos that combine things a chemical cousin of phentermine and topamax (anti-depressant, migraine med, and anti-binge eating/drinking med), or phentermine and wellbutrin. There's also one that's an injection that combines phentermine (or something in the phentermine family) and a diabetes drug.

When amber took the phentermine, she made a huge production of having to take her blood pressure all day, and blah, blah, blah. Like, yeah, it's an upper. Those aren't great for your heart, but you know what's worse for your heart? Carting around a quarter ton of fat. I'd assume if she were willing to take it, a reasonable doctor would give her phentermine (which comes in different doses, maybe 2-3 low doses a day are what she needs instead of high doses?), lasix and some other bp med.

Amber makes a production over everything. It would be SO easy for her to take phentermine and follow WW or the diet the bariatric doctor gave her, or something like nutrisystem where you nuke all your meals, and lose weight. But her identity is so tied up in her obesity that the very thought of getting on track freaks her the fuck out. I'm sure she's also a little afraid of not being able to binge, but if medication makes you not want to eat (phentermine is anorexia in a bottle), wouldn't she feel some control over her life?

I can't get into her mindset and understand on any level why she's clinging to the fat like a security blanket, rather than taking the various pills that will change her life, but it seems like the weight is as much of a security blanket as the binges.

 

[Concerned Vagino-American]

Tammy Slaton went through that as well. It didn't work out. Um.. street meth maybe?

Like mother, like daughter.

 

[ADHD]

They should be sponsored to hook up and do an episode of Supersize vs Superskinny.

How many shit bags would Anna need for just one day of Amber's diet?

 

[mekalekahi]

Adventures!!

 

[Rigor Meowtis]

Adventures!!
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Adventures to the Cheesecake Factory? Hooray!

On another note, it is saddening to see past Amber. She was at least able to walk more than 2 minutes back then. I know she did this to herself, but, it's overall fucked up what she is now compared to two years ago.