Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[a bootiful jung woman]

Honestly fucking walking is what she should be taking up. I don't get the obsession with driving,

No what she'd be better doing is sitting in a chair and doing safe exercises designed for the super obese instead of grinding her knee joints to dust in some egotistical proof she can walk. She's too heavy for that shit, and Monticello isn't some cute walkable city with handy stuff everywhere, it has a Kroger and a Walmart, everything else is at least a town away.

 

[Twinkie]

Swimming would be even better exercise and if she really wanted to save her life she'd be doing it every single day that she could manage. There's at least one community center with a pool, and a gym (cannot confirm if it has a pool), both of which are closer to her house than fucking Walmart is.

And of course in Somerset which is about as far away as Chili's there are tons of gyms.

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

Makes me think of the smoker who didn't quit after the mini-stroke, didn't quit after the COPD, didn't quit after they needed to be put on oxygen, didn't quit after the first lung cancer surgery, and is now crying because they've been told they have six months to live -- and are lighting up because at this point it honestly doesn't make a difference.

She won't lose weight after the loss of mobility, she won't lose weight after the high blood pressure, she won't lose weight after the cellulitis, she won't lose weight after the lymphedema... Whatever, it's too late now. Eat another pint of brownie batter.

Amber would have an IV of ornj chickn if she could taste it.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Amber is hilarious.

I agree. In the same sense of watching two hippos trying to fuck.

Swimming would be even better exercise and if she really wanted to save her life she'd be doing it every single day that she could manage. There's at least one community center with a pool, and a gym (cannot confirm if it has a pool), both of which are closer to her house than fucking Walmart is.

And of course in Somerset which is about as far away as Chili's there are tons of gyms.

The lake is closer. Blub-blub.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Looking at a map of Monticello, it's a highway through the middle and none of the side streets have any sidewalks. I'd hate living there.

 

[ADHD]

Swimming would be even better exercise and if she really wanted to save her life she'd be doing it every single day that she could manage. There's at least one community center with a pool, and a gym (cannot confirm if it has a pool), both of which are closer to her house than fucking Walmart is.

And of course in Somerset which is about as far away as Chili's there are tons of gyms.

And that could lead us to:
HIGHLY REQUESTED TORRID BATHING SUIT HAUL!!!!!

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Not in any way, shape, or form defending laziness or making excuses, but most American cities aren't walkable and have shit public transport.

Everything is built with driving in mind -- it's assumed (or it was assumed when a lot of these places were being planned) that every household would have one or two vehicles and only the poor, the infirm, and children would need things like buses or do things like ride a bike. In a lot of places, it's legitimately difficult to go anywhere or do anything (practical or just for fun) without a car.

The reason why people are pushing her to get a license is an offshoot of this attitude. It represents independence and competence, almost in the same way (and on the same level) as having a job or otherwise being a productive member of society. And it also means (in their minds) that she'll "get out more" and "go do stuff" and "be healthy" because the alternative in this scenario is Pillow Mountain.

This is true, yes - the great suburban explosion of the 50's, where vast tracts of housing was built with the notion that every home would have a car (or two) in the driveway, and every home would have a driver (or two). But she doesn't need to be going anywhere unless it's to a gym or some place to do pool-based exercising (which she will never do because she wouldn't be able to wear her leggeeens in the pool). She easily hire a taxi (they do have them there, I'm sure) to take her from one place to another until she's able to safely fit into a car, because right now, that just is not happening.

It's a cultural thing. In this case, it's pretty ironic that the reliance on automobiles has (at least partially) contributed to the obesity epidemic in America, and yet one of the first things a lot of people push deathfats to do is get a license and become "mobile".

Throw the internet, and cheap, fattening food on that pile of why we as a nation have so many fat fucks.

 

[dingobaby]

She could set up the summer pool in den since she is annexing the whole house anyway.

Anyone want to buy some bath water?

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

I have no idea what you two are talking about. Amber is hilarious.

EDIT: Unintentionally, that is. When she tries to be funny, she fails.

That's how I took it - when she intentionally tries to be funny, it's a fail, because she's stupid and a narc. Her life as a whole, for an outsider, is hysterical.

Makes me think of the smoker who didn't quit after the mini-stroke, didn't quit after the COPD, didn't quit after they needed to be put on oxygen, didn't quit after the first lung cancer surgery, and is now crying because they've been told they have six months to live -- and are lighting up because at this point it honestly doesn't make a difference.

It's a slow motion Darwin award, just like Big Al and other lardasses are getting for themselves.

She won't lose weight after the loss of mobility, she won't lose weight after the high blood pressure, she won't lose weight after the cellulitis, she won't lose weight after the lymphedema... Whatever, it's too late now. Eat another pint of brownie batter.

But she thought it was ice creeeeeeaaaaam, not unbaked brownie batter, and she isn't going to be able to eat that, boo boo.
Haha - of course she did. We all know she chowed down on that because she had it in her hand.

 

[DaintyChokerGorl]

Wow Dustin, thank you for this final cursed image of the decade. Onto 2020 Kiwis!!

 

[ADHD]

At least her eyes are open this year?

 

[DefCon Dumb]

At this point, the filters make it look like her face is a bacterium just beginning to divide into 2.

Meanwhile, she's posing as though she's been liberally sprinkled with Dainty Dust.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

A tad OT, but happy new year to the jolliest and funniest bunch of assholes I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and hanging out with. I wish you all the best. Here's to a prosperous IRL new year outside the Farms, and the gift of vids from our favorite lolcows within the Farms. Cheers.

 

[SituationTypeThing]

View attachment 1076944
Wow Dustin, thank you for this final cursed image of the decade. Onto 2020 Kiwis!!

It's Amber, her true love, and destiny, all in one picture.

 

[Red Mask]

Destiny looks like someone smashed her face in.

 

[RandallBoggs]

Heres an idea, amber: no going to wommart or out to eat until you are physically able to get behind the wheel. Not even saying to get a license, just losing enough weight to actually fit in a driver's seat.

Oh but who am I kidding, she cant do anything that will make her even mildly uncomfortable. Losing weight has to be a struggle free process after all. If anything gets even slightly hard it's obviously not what's right for her.

 

[Like A Rad Neighbor]

Destiny looks like she got too much of the amber stench.

 

[Red Mask]

Also, Destiny has gained weight.

 

[The Cyber Unit]

What's the psychology behind her duck lips?

 

[Fupacabra]

What's the psychology behind her duck lips?

She wants people to throw bread in her general direction. DuckLynn does it to get some free food.