I've gotten a decent lunch, had some time to write up most of Player's Handbook II, and have recovered from this book damaging my mind. So under these circumstances:
Dungeon Master’s Guide
The DM's Guide was one of three books that were released at the same time when 3.0 was updated to 3.5. The other two items were the Player's Handbook as well as the first Monster Manual. This book has a variety of good tips, tricks, ideas, and other items that a new DM and even old DM's should look through. It also introduces the concept of Prestige Classes to 3.5, and provides a wide assortment of them, most of them being ripped from 3.0 or AD&D. Sad to say that most of them are shit or were made obsolete, as if they weren't my mind wouldn't be comprised of broken shards of screaming jelly.
Let's dive into the Mouth of Madness and smell purple people:
Arcane Archer

Oh god no, this PrC is trying to be another Gish Build! The Arcane Archer is among one of the first ever PrCs made, as the Dungeon Master’s Guide was the first book to really make any for you to take. The problem is that makes this PrC complete and utter shit.
The fluff tries to tell you they’re an elite archer found in elven kingdoms, but the problem is they are worse than Rangers in every way. For one thing, the bar of entry for the class is a bit garbage. You see, you have to take a single arcane caster level as well as have +6 to hit and three feats as a non-human. So you can really only start on this journey of fail at 7th level.
The Arcane Archer has a pretty weak skill set too, focusing solely on being a weird hermit that hides and poops in the woods. You can really only get skills that help out in the wild to a degree, and I consider what you get as limited as a fighter, but worse. Mainly because at least outside of battle a fighter can spook people with intimidate.
So on to the mechanics of the class, which are a mess. For some reason, these guys can use tower shields SOMEHOW… this is shown by the lack of the words “except tower shields” for what they can equip.
The Arcane Archer opens up with the first of many “traps”, abilities that some bad PrCs have that at first glance make them look good to the uninitiated. In this case, they can enhance arrows. What does that mean? Well it means that the arrows are treated as a magical weapons.
At first this might be seen as awesome, and a player might think that the bonus would stack with their bow. But it doesn’t. You see, the writers when lifting this class from 3.0 didn’t edit anything to make it fit 3.5 better. Case in point, you cannot stack these bonuses, and so you render this ability useless the moment you get a magical bow. So fuck this trap.
The big ability that the Arcane Archer gets is the embue arrows. The idea is that you can enchant your arrows to shit out an area effect spell on your foes from a distance. The problem is that they forgot that spells increase in range the more caster levels a player has. A wizard for example can throw most of his magic at bow range by the time an Arcane Archer appears. The only spells worth using with this would be the close ranged spells… but why bother when this PrC doesn’t boost caster level at all?
So if you are stupid, you at best can shoot fireballs because you only have access to third level magic at best… at Epic Levels.
The other abilities are kinda pointless too. The seeker and phase arrow ability is kind of cool, but they’re too deep in the class and you can only do them once a day anyway. Hail of Arrows instantly loses to the Ranger’s Arrow Storm, since that Ranger spell would’ve been there earlier and it can hit more targets by that point. Lastly Death Arrow is a flat dc 20 save or die fort save. At level 17 this save is semi-beatable even for characters with a shit fort save.
For fuck’s sake, a Bone Knight has a better version of this. The fucking Assassin has a better version of that.
This class needs to do as the elves do and die off.
Rating:
Garbage
Arcane Trickster

I’m laughing so hard right now because of one single line: “Assassins occasionally opt in this class, but only if they already have Wizard or Sorcerer levels”. I’ll get into Assassins later, but just imagine the dumb motherfucker who decided to do this while every one else was going into their Epic class levels. That guy was probably just sitting there weeping at his mistake.
So the Arcane Trickster is actually a complete pile of dickpain to enter. This is because there are two sets of requirements that make it take forever to get into. One requirement is the ability to cast third level spells. That sounds okay, just take Rogue to get your sneak attack die and then take five levels of Wizard, right?
That’s where you have trouble, since it requires seven ranks of Disable Device and Escape Artist, meaning you have some skills to cross class or alternatively give up 9th level spells to save on skill points with another rogue.
So what do you get? Well, I’ll give the Arcane Trickster this; you keep caster levels through the whole ride. That does make it not the worst thing in the world. It also gives you 4+Int skill points and a wide skill pool, which is nice given you’ll be an INT based caster. It’s d4 HD though is very concerning given you are still designed to be able to do rogue things.
The ranged legerdemain skill’s actually kind of neat. You use Mage Hand to basically pickpocket people and pick locks. It also does scale a bit, allowing you to do this thrice a day by the end of it. You also get to mostly keep your rogue sneak attack dice too, getting +5d6 to the dice pool by the end of the road.
The last ability it gets is that you get the ability instantly turn a normal attack into a free sneak attack, and you can do this twice a day by the end of the class.
If I have to be honest, the Arcane Trickster is not a great PrC. It loses out to a pure rogue or a pure wizard. But in terms of fluff and switching up a playstyle I’d say it’s fairly worth it.
Rating:
Decent
Archmage

So the Archmage is a bit of an odd duck by the standards of PrCs, since you at minimum you need to be at level 13 (or 14 as a Sorcerer) to be able to enter this one. This makes it akin to the Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil in a way, in that it’s a late game caster. Because it’s late game though, it does only give you five decent levels, since you do keep all your caster levels too.
So what does it really do? It’s big thing is called High Arcana. The way it works is you get to pick a supernatural ability that augments your spells. Sounds good, right? It is, but you have to sacrifice some of your decently high spell slots, which hurts quite a bit given those are where some of the best spells in the game are.
Some of the High Arcana abilities are amazingly shit, like the Arcane Fire that basically can at best waste a 7th level spell slot for the ability to douche enemies with (level)d6+(spell wasted)d6 fire damage. It’s okay and has a big range, but it is not fucking worth it.
Others are mediocre, like the Range increase for touch attacks. It’s okay in that you can make a touch attack have a range of 30 ft. Another candidate for this would be the Shape Mastery, which was basically rendered obsolete courtesy of the sculpt spell metamagic feat.
But some are pretty good, like Elemental Mastery, which allows you to swap out elemental damage to your spells. So if you wanted to you can make Ice Storm do Acid Damage, or make Fireball Sonic you can do it.
The class was pretty good meta wise, but notice that past tense descriptor. This PrC was great for its time, but what happened was that Wizards of the Coast made new splats. Those new splats (Like Complete Arcane) made it mostly obsolete. As it stands, it’s still not a bad option, but you will feel the missing spell slots.
Rating:
Good
Assassin

Ahh yes, the most popular PrC from this book and one of the ones that got some players butthurt because of alignment requirements. The Assassin is a stone cold killer who works by contract. In casual terms, they’d slit their mama’s throat for a nickel.
They’re dirt simple to get into if you play a rogue or a monk. I would however really enjoy seeing a fallen Paladin or Barbarian/Assassin build since the fluff mentions those existing. Good fucking luck on getting the eight ranks in move silently and hide. Same to any caster who chooses to murder their character’s entire career.
The Assassin’s abilities really compliment the Rogue’s, which really shouldn’t be too surprising. You get 5d6 sneak attack dice throughout the whole arrangement, which means you do lose two sneak attack dice, but it’s not that bad.
The big thing the Assassin gets is the Death Attack. This is actually not as good as players sometimes think. For one thing, you have to wait three turns to initiate it. The second problem is that you have to be able to hide from the enemy during this time or not be seen as a threat.
In return, it is scalable since the DC v. Death/Paralysis is 10+Assassin Ranks+Int. That makes it a lot better than the Arcane Archer’s Death Arrow. It also will still be used as a sneak attack if the attack fails too, which is nice. This makes it mainly a way to try and cheese bosses or to get rid of someone you need to in a more intrigue based game. It’s very situational.
You do get poison use as a free feat at 1st level, which is pretty nice too. This is complimented by getting some bonuses against poison too, which is okay mechanically, but nice fluffwise. You do get Uncanny Dodge and its Improved version, which is okay… but nothing amazing.
It’s coolest ability though is just the ability to hide in plain sight. It allows the Assassin to just ooze into the backdrop so long as there’s shadows nearby. It’s the ability that makes Death Attacks feasible inside of combat.
The Assassin spell list is small and very specialized, but it has some gems. In particular, glibness’ bluff bonus, freedom of movement, dimension door, cat’s grace, and spider climb are some good picks. They also got some support in their splat books courtesy of being a core PrC, which is a nice bonus. In fact, the one thing I’ll give kudos to WotC is that all casting PrCs in this book get support in splats.
In short, it’s a great next step for evil rogues and monks, and a hilarious option for a Paladin. Speaking of that as a joke…
Rating:
Good
Blackguard

This class was clearly designed to be what a Paladin becomes when they fall and choose to go evil instead. This is because while you get some features and abilities by entering as anything else, you don’t get the full features unless you were a Paladin at one point. The fluff really tries to hype these guys as one of the better BBEGs to throw at a party too, or a very powerful and evil warrior who consorts with the lower planes for power.
The truth is… well, laughable. Entering Blackguard as a Paladin is spiritually the equivalent of finding your pet cat eaten by vultures; a spiritual drain on the soul that isn’t fun in the slightest. This is because you need five ranks in Hide, meaning that you can’t get it until you get up to level 7 minimum after wasting 10 skill points since it’s a cross class skill. So you have to waste a fairly precious resource to get to the minimum.
From there? You basically end your Paladin’s career as a useful character. If you’re wondering why, let’s go through what the Blackguard gets.
They start off getting an anti-Paladin set of abilities, so an Evil Aura, Detect Good as an at-will spell like ability. They also get the ability to use poisons as well, mainly for fluff reasons to highlight how dishonorable they are. At second level, they get the Paladin’s ability to apply their CHA bonus to saves and Smite Good, a worse version of the Paladin’s Smite Evil.
Now why is this worse? You’d think it’d be as good as the Paladin’s, but that’s wrong. It’s because unlike the Paladin’s Smite Evil, Smite Good only operates on the Blackguard levels you get, meaning at best you will get half the effectiveness of a Paladin when it comes to using it. This is not a good thing, and I’m baffled on why this PrC does not factor in fallen Paladin levels either.
The base spell list the Blackguard gets is okay, but nothing super special. They get access to healing, summoning evil monsters, and some buffers. Their big weakness is they operate just like a 10 level PrC does, which means they have a painfully small spell slot pool, especially compared to just staying a Paladin… you’ll hear me say this a lot too since this is the Blackguard’s big problem.
At 3rd level, the Blackguard gains an aura of despair and gets the ability to command undead. There’s a problem though with the latter; you can only get this command ability up to an 8th level caster’s level, since AGAIN, this class for some reason doesn’t count Paladin levels for the calculation. Have fun summoning trash that dies instantly to the Beholder mage.
4th level just gives you a sneak attack, which is… well okay. It’s not particularly great for a martial build like the ex-Paladin or whatever you spec in, but it’s not the worst thing. 5th level gives you your evil variant of a mount/familiar. The thing about this option is you can make it a mount, or you can make it a familiar. Mechanically it’s closer to the latter, meaning that should your Fiendish Servant die, then you wait longer than the Paladin does for theirs to come back. Thanks WotC, this class is so good…
What makes this war crime of a PrC even better is that three of the levels are completely dead. As in the only thing that advances are your spell slots and BaB. This is basically 70% of a finished class idea, a C- to an already shit class. Given this is a PrC, this is FUCKING INEXCUSABLE.
So the thing about this class is it gives special features to ex-Paladins like I’ve said. The first two levels of Paladin nets you another Smite Good. No bonuses based on having these levels, just the extra smite. Three to four levels give you lay-on-hands and I’ll give the class this; at least it includes level in general instead of just fucking Blackguard levels, which still makes it an okay Emergency Heal.
The next tier of ex-Paladins level just gives you another d6 for sneak attack and another smite with no bonuses beyond the ones you get… Jesus how lame. Oh wait, the next tier’s even lamer; Fiendish Summoning is a once a day Summon Monster I spell… YOU DO KNOW THAT AT THIS POINT YOU’RE LEVEL FUCKING 10 AT MINIMUM RIGHT?!
The last tier worth a shit is the 9th-10th level fallen paladin, which gives you a second fiendish servant that’s either a skeleton or a zombie. Anything over this just can be translated to free Blackguard levels that just replace useless Paladin levels.
Because the thing is you have to wander around as a worse Fighter variant before you get the full bonus, unless you start at 10th level or so. This is because you will not really be able to play a paladin in an all evil party, but you only get the full class by being a former paladin of that age. In short, you actively have to hurt yourself in a game like this before playing a worse paladin.
Before I go, I’ll just reference a far better Fallen Paladin class, the Bone Knight. Every single weakness of the Blackguard compared to a Paladin is taken care of by the Bone Knight being able to count Paladin levels for spell slots, abilities, mounts, and said class only loses smiting, a single caster level, and detect evil. It’s so much better than the Blackguard, that you can choose to enter it as a PrC and not fall as a Paladin.
This class is useless to me… I shall knock it down.
Rating:
NPC (Was Garbage)
Dragon Disciple

To those furries, err, scalies rather who play DnD, this PrC is perfect for you! The fluff behind these guys are that they are weirdoes who becomes completely obsessed about their 1/1024th Draconic ancestry and so sperg and study their ways to activate that legacy.
The fluff also lies to your face about how martials tend to become a Dragon Disciple, saying they dabble in sorcery. This hints at the truth: you actually NEED to be a spontaneous caster to enter in this class. You also need eight ranks in Knowledge (Arcane), meaning that the fluff of martials becoming these guys doesn’t make sense.
I’ll be perfectly honest, this class is like furry community in general; it’s a complete shitshow that does nothing right. You get the Barb’s d12 HD, which sounds fucking amazing for a caster and nice for a martial. It is, but then the other features start revealing themselves. For one thing, you don’t get a single caster level, making it a complete pile of shit for a caster who will only have at best 5th level spells on hand.
Instead, you get the Wonder Worker’s free spell slots, which hypothetically makes it a decent option for after you finish a PrC and want to expand your fairly limited spell slots if they have spells. Then you realize that this too is a 10 level PrC that doesn’t boost caster levels, and thus not really suitable for any dips as a caster at all.
From there, you mostly just get buffers to your stats. You gain +3 natural armor, 4 Str, 2 Con, and 2 Int throughout this PrC. While it is true they stack with other items, losing caster levels or a good BaB to get these items just isn’t worth it. And a shitty claw damage of 1d4 and bite of 1d6 can’t make this up. Keep in mind that by the time you can enter this class your martials are doing a fuckton more damage than this, and the casters even more so.
Your breath weapon is shit. Yeah, you do up to 4d8 elemental damage of whatever lineage you pick, but this is the time period where you could’ve douched the Bebelith in Prismatic Spray or something actually good. You get blindsense, which may be the only item you get that isn’t shit… but you’re in too deep when you get it.
I think the two biggest fuck yous are the wings and getting the half-dragon template as a capstone. The former is because you actually learn the Fly spell BEFORE EVEN ENTERING THE CLASS. The latter is because you have to take all ten levels of this festival of failure to get it, and that is not worth it.
This class cannot do anything right. You need to be a caster to enter this, but you get no caster levels and only slots for your four or so spell levels. It gives bonuses to your attributes that favor martials, but then you get an average BaB and worse natural weapons. You also have to heavily cross-class skill to get into this as a martial, meaning you sacrifice other skills to make your character be able to do things out of fights.
It literally makes anything that enters it worse than before they entered the class, regardless of what you started as. Fuck this class.
Rating:
Truenamer
Duelist

Why hello there complete superfluous class, why do you exist? So the Duelist is a PrC that was made completely obsolete by Swashbuckler, which was written maybe a year later when Complete Warrior was written. This already makes the class a hard sell, since to play a Duelist you need to meet PrC requirements while the Swashbuckler is right there at the start.
As for said requirements; they’re kind of annoying given you need to waste two feats on Dodge and Mobility and cross class skills into perform. In return you get to play some wet tissue paper disguised as a character, since you can’t walk around with armor to take advantage of their abilities.
Canny Defense for example is designed to give you some AC via any Int bonus you have. The problem is you only get as much of that bonus as your Duelist level, and the classes that can enter it easily don’t focus on Int so the bonus is minimal, if not at all. Absolutely lovely.
The next feature they get is Improved Reaction, which is just a free +2 to initiative each time it’s forced on you. It’s… well, it’s better than nothing. Then you get my least favorite ability in this book so far, Enhanced Mobility.
This fucking thing I at first thought as I read this gave you a flat +4 AC bonus if you go unarmored, which would help a lot. Then I noticed that it only works on AoOs. So… what this means is that you only get it by risking a gibbing. You will on average have an AC of maybe 15 – 17 depending on your stats while the other martials are at least in the high teens/low 20s due to magic armor coming in at this point. You are basically choosing to be a squishy wizard to do fucking rapier damage.
And that’s a thing I have to highlight, it only works if you use a one-handed weapon AND YOU’RE BUCK NAKED, meaning you don’t do that much damage and ARE getting hit. And then you get grace, an even worse version of the Lightning Reflexes feat since it only works when you’re naked.
From there, you get Precise Strike, a slightly better sneak attack. This would be okay, but you only get 2d6 worth of it. Even the Blackguard gets more sneak-attack dice than this, THE FUCKING BLACKGUARD! And sneak attack can be done on flanking anyway, so it’s only MARGINALLY BETTER. I think I just had an aneurysm, since I can smell blue and hear butter.
The best ability it gets is Elaborate Parry, and that’s damning with faint praise given it’s stuck to the PrC. It gives you up to +10 AC if you go the distance, which takes you from utter trash AC to subnormal at the point you’d finish Duelist off. This would be good on literally every class BUT the one it’s stuck to. Fuck this class.
The last two items of note are the Acrobatic Charge ability that Swashbucklers also get and the worst Monk ability in 3.5, ie Deflect Arrow.
This PrC is so fucking awful that it was made obsolete by the third ever splat made by Wizards, since only Unearthed Arcana and the Minis Handbook are older than Complete Warrior. Liberate tutume ex inferis.
Rating:
Truenamer
Dwarven Defender

This PrC is what I consider the exemplar of a trap. This is because at first glance you might think it’s an excellent PrC for martials who want to focus on their AC and tankiness. Dwarven Defenders are effectively a weird Pseudo-Paladin order who protect the Dwarven way of Depression, Alcoholism, and Yellow Bile.
The first signs of this PrC not being as good as previously thought lies in its prerequisites. On the surface, it’s pretty easy to slip into by level 8. But the feats you need to take actually are all bad. Dodge is mediocre at best given it is more of feat designed to take for a PrC than one you want. Endurance is just worthless and gives you +4 to skills you’re already filling in due to the dearth of martials with good skills. And Toughness… I just die inside that it’s required. Waste a feat for 3 HP just to play this.
The second clue for your character getting ready for a Baaaaad time? The fact that you only get four skills to play with as class skills. The Dwarven Defender is so hideously autistic they can only spot, listen, sense motive, and craft shit. When the Fighter has more skill options than you, something is hideously wrong with you.
So the Dwarven Defender starts off by giving you an AC bonus, which does sound nice given that it does stack with most things… even your Dodge feat! And it’s actually pretty nice, but you can just get an amulet of Natural Armor, or an item that boosts Dodge bonuses.
Then you get to the moldy bread and rancid butter of this PrC: their Defensive Stance. You just decide to be a fat lump and sit there, gaining +2 str, +4 con, +2 to saves, and +4 to AC. This idea does sound pretty bitchin’, you get to do a defensive style rage and essentially be a wall to defend your buddies.
Then you get to the negatives of this ability. For one thing, once you pop the stance, you can’t fucking move at all. If you move, you lose the bonuses and take a -2 to your Str until you recover. This is not good given how often you will actually need to move in an actual fight in most cases.
For example, a rape goblin will probably not mindlessly kill themselves on the Dwarven Defender; they will gun for the Squishies while he’s stuck there. Hell, they can still beat him actually. They can group up and slowly push a boulder until it crushes Durin Axebeard the Dwarven Defender. You heard me right, a bunch of CR 1/8th mentally challenged goblins can stomp this class.
The other big weakness is you can only go into this stance at most five times a day, meaning you cannot scoot over to defend your buddies without factoring in that limit. Oh, and since it’s not clearly explained, the -2 to Str may or may not stack depending on DM interpretation.
Besides this, the Dwarven Defender just gets hand-me-down Barbarian feats in the forms of Uncanny Dodge and Trap Sense. The last item they get is a pity prize in the form of being able to 5 ft step option while going in the stance.
This class just doesn’t work for a tank build, and I can name at least two options superior to it. The Bone Knight for example rewards you with resistances and gives you options. The Defender of Saltiel also is a superior version given their resistance to mind effects and some good spells to support and heal allies. The latter option is even comparable in time period given the Book of Exalted Deeds, while published later, was originally a 3.0 book.
In the words of a famous Dwarven Defender: “Seriously?”
Rating:
Garbage
Eldritch Knight

This was very much the original gish build, and it’s still required if you want to make the full gish experience of four attacks and ninth level spells. At least without being That Guy the DM hates that uses a lot of books to do this with since fuck that. Their fluff is pretty basic; they’re mercenaries who are flexible with their approach. To them, magic is a tool to bypass defenses and weaponry is there to geek mages.
The Eldritch Knight is a supremely simple class to get into as well; you just need martial weapons and 3rd level spells. It’s not really too much of an issue, since you just need to take a dip in Fighter or Ranger and then go full wizard to reach it.
Structurally, the Eldritch Knight is also very simple. You lose a single caster level, but you get full BaB and a free feat to replace them. The class really doesn’t have any fancy features or anything, it’s just a fairly solid chassis. The only gripe that I have is that the HD is a bit too low for you to wade into combat, but that’s more the early 3.5 mindset of the writers than anything else.
This is one of those classes that aged very well as the edition went on; probably because it’s upfront with what it does and very friendly for players that wanted to just be both a caster and martial. Honestly recommend it for a player wanting to dabble in fighting but without the tedium.
Rating:
Good
Heirophant

Who dragged this mummy out of its fucking coffin? The Heirophant is an old AD&D title that Druids got that allowed them to go beyond 7th level spells. It was an artifact of the time where your level determined your title, similar to how you didn’t become a Thief until you got to higher levels.
This explains why you need to be at least a 12th level divine caster to enter the class. The requirements for being a Heirophant are very low in this respect, though I find it weird that the skill needed is Knowledge (Religion) rather than (Nature) given its origins. Either way, fuck this class.
Now why am I saying this so early in the review of it? Because the table upfront shows you do not get a single caster level in this class. The text goes further into this, stating that the only time Hierophant levels count as caster levels is on the DC for it. At that point, why in the fuck don’t you just make it count then?
Instead, they get to pick a Supernatural ability or render their 0th to 7th level spell load out as a Spell-like Ability instead. The options you get are fairly similar to the Archmage in that respect, though I’d argue they’re kind of worse.
For example, at first glance, having free Maximizes on healing or harm spells sound nice. Then you realize that it does not beat 9th level spells and metamagic feats. Then you further realize that it being limited by sharing or opposing alignments really makes those shit.
The other options aren’t much to write about either, mostly being ways to boost caster level for calculating DC or dice pools. The only other noteworthy ability is that Druids who enter this PrC can share their abilities with other players or whoever they select. But honestly, why do that when you could’ve had the 8th and 9th level Druid spells.
I honestly don’t know why they dug it up. And I really don’t know why they made it worse than its AD&D version.
Rating:
Garbage
Horizon Walker

The legitimate Murder-Hobo class, the Horizon Walker is an itinerant who just autistically wanders the lands in an aimless sense for adventure. They pretty much have seen everything and due to their travels seem to adapt to the terrain in a way.
These guys are in a way a Martial version of Final Fantasy’s Geomancer. The difference is these guys are far worse. Why is that? Mainly because it’s a class that expects Bards and Rangers to enter it, but then doesn’t advance a single item that they have.
Structurally, they’re a solid Ranger style chassis; they get full BaB and a d8 HD. The bar of entry is not too bad, but having to blow a feat on Endurance is kind of annoying. But what you get out of them is very mediocre and not worth losing the feat or the abilities of the classes able to become a Horizon walker easily. You see, they gain a variety of bonuses on certain terrains and occasionally special abilities depending on what terrains you pick.
The problem is their bonuses are very mediocre, mostly just being a +4 competency check on certain skills. The two biggest middle fingers are the Mountain and Aquatic terrain attunements. Those are supposed to improve your swim and climb speeds, but you don’t have those unless you’re playing something with them, which at this time meant you were dicking about in the Monster Manual.
The Planar Attunements are little better; the best option out of the lot is likely the Shadow Plane where you can Dimension Door as a spell-like ability, but you need to take 6 levels of this class to get there.
This class has the nucleus of a neat idea, but then it decided fuck that and wandered away. I hope it got eaten by a grue.
Rating:
Garbage
Loremaster

I hereby dub thee Dumpy Grimbo! The Loremaster, besides having the pudgiest art I’ve seen in a while, is designed to be THE information specialist. They delve deeply into lost secrets and are willing to spend good coin for old lore or legends that they can research. Essentially they’re even nerdier wizards, and I do mean wizards.
Before I get into that, let me get into the bar of entry. Becoming a loremaster has a highish bar to enter, given you need two knowledge skills ranked at 10, and four feats, with three of them being metamagic. The fourth feat needs to be a skill focus on one of your knowledges too. This is another clue that you need to be a wizard to really play this class.
I say this because despite the fact that you can enter this as any caster that has a respectable array of divining spells, INT based casters are really the ones that benefit becoming a Loremaster. This is because the Loremaster’s main schtick uses INT plus Loremaster levels to determine a feature of theirs.
This feature is called Secret. There are ten of them, and some of them are shit. The worst item on the lot is the 2nd item, which is basically toughness. Other shit secrets includes a free +4 to a skill and a +1 on attack rolls. The other secrets, especially the last two, are beautiful; they give you another 1st and 2nd level spell slot, regardless of your ability modifier.
The other major feature you get is Lore, which expands into Greater Lore. Greater Lore also counts as a free Identify. The last variation is treated as a free Legend Lore or Analyze Dweomer once a day.
Besides this, you get a few bonus language feats for free. All in all it’s a pretty good option for wizards who decided to focus on Divining spells; it’s a surprise of a gem to be honest.
Rating:
Amazing
Mystic Theurge

The Mystic Theurge is similar to the Eldritch Knight in that it is a straightforward hybrid class. The idea behind them is that they blend the line between arcane and divine, essentially learning the secrets of both as they continue their studies.
I feel like this writer also wrote the Eldritch Knight, since this class is very straightforward and simple to get into. You just need 2nd level divine and arcane spells, and a few ranks into knowledge (religion) and (arcane). What you get is very simple too; you get both caster levels improved but have the chassis of a wizard.
It’s honestly a solid pick, and it’s actually another way you can get dual 9th level spells. The trick there is to pick wizard, take a dip in cleric to get Ur-Priest, take a two level dip in it, then go Mystic Theurge and then Wizard for the remaining levels. This pushes it into broken tier, but only with this specific build.
Any class that can let you do that and still meet the two-book requirement (DM’s guide is core and they don’t count actually) is amazing in my book. Also their art (not shown here:
this is it) is pretty bad ass with that coat of stars.
Rating:
Tippy
Red Wizard

A faerun specific PrC in a core book? Fucking really? Even in this early stage you can tell that there was someone from WotC who was rocking a stiffie for the Forgotten Realms setting.
So the Red Wizards are the evil ruling class of the realm of Thay, basically they indulge in slavery and tattoos. They also like to hide about in other realms like cancer because even they don’t like Thay. This PrC is fucktardedly specific, in that you specifically need to be from Toril and need to take a tattoo feat and specialize in a school.
So the class itself… did you know that as soon as you become a Red Wizard you throw out 3/8th of your spell list? Because you chuck out three of your potential schools to be one of these fuckers. Admittedly that’s still a decent amount of variety, but it does lead to trouble down the road. To give you an idea on why this is pain, whenever I specialize as a wizard (fairly often), I tend to find that I sometimes had trouble finding spells to fill in my spots for my specialized school. Now imagine that and also struggling to fill in your non specialized spells too.
So what do you get in exchange for this? You get the ability to boost your caster level up by five by the end of the class. This is completely ludicrous, given that usually just being able to boost the spell’s DC by 2 is amazing as it is. Technically it’s more like +6 since you need to be tattooed first, which gives you a bonus to DCs as well. You also get a +4 bonus to your resistances to spells that you specialize in, which is similarly nice.
The Red Wizard also gets the Faerun specific feat Scribe Tatoo for its 7th level, meaning you can give the +1 to caster level calculations to other casters. This is designed to go in tandem with the Circle Mastery.
What is Circle Mastery? Basically, it’s like how the Spirit Bomb works in DBZ. You get a bunch of your caster buddies to spend their spells to boost the circle leader’s own power to cast a spell. The Red Wizards can lead this along with other tattooed casters and basically can cast up to 60th caster level spells with metamagic feats if the circle is big enough and the casters strong enough.
But this is really situational and really only for certain items given it takes an hour to do this and it pisses away the other casters’ spell slots.
Honestly, the class itself is solid, but I legitimately cannot stand it due to it being a forced advertisement of the Faerun setting that you can’t really use outside of it. It also is slowly made obsolete by the other Arcane PrCs that were made, that tended to be less difficult to get in and did not remove three schools to give their bonuses.
I’ll admit; I’m probably being petty when I put this into decent, since it’s one of the best options in boosting spell damage and save DC out there. But I just can’t brook this shilling a setting shit when everything else is not setting specific.
Rating:
Decent
Shadow Dancer

Oh hey, it’s that writer that likes to pretend that every class could find interest in the Shadow Dancer. This means that I suspect that the class is going to be shit, because every time I’ve read this type of crap in the fluff, that’s what the class is usually rated.
So fluff wise, Shadow Dancers are the Armenians of the world of Oerth, which means you can’t fucking trust them at all. They wander about, plying their trade of dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight to entertain the commoners and then do other tricksy shit. It is noted that they can be either good or evil, and that their fluff reads like a bad fanfiction.
My expectations are further cratered when I get into the prerequisites for this class. Their requirements are actually HIGHER than the Assassin’s. You need more ranks in hide, need perform (dance), and then as an added finger you need Dodge and Mobility.
So what do they get out of it? Well a good portion of their stuff is defensive in nature, and unfortunately are basic things that you should have as a character by this point anyway to some degree. A Rogue trying to enter this would already have Evasion AND Uncanny Dodge. Barbs would have the latter, and Slippery Mind is something that you may have by that point. They also get the failtastic Defensive Roll, which is retardedly specific and not worth it due to you needing to be low HP to use it anyway.
Their specialty items are also not much to note. The best thing they have is they get the Assassin’s Hide In Plain Sight at 1st level rather than 8th level. After that? Well, they also get Darkvision, which by this point as a character isn’t a thing needed.
Later levels net them a way too late by this point once a day Ghost Image… and then you get Summon Shadow. Summon Shadow is basically a free Familiar that the Shadow Dancer gets, but it’s worse in every way. Mainly because you can’t improve it to more than 6 HD and you can’t cast anything with it. It is just there so you can lose 2000 exp per time it dies.
Their last item of note is Shadow Jump. At first this might sound cool, since you can teleport around from the shadows as a martial. But then you read that the distances listed as the Shadow Jump limit is the maximum amount you can jump to per day. So rather than being able to teleport say 40 feet per jump at a higher level, that’s instead the most you can do a day. So you’d be stuck jumping 40 ft or doing smaller jumps of 20 or 10 feet. Keep in mind that its range is shorter than a Dimension Door at the level you get this.
In conclusion, my gut instinct was right, and this class benefits no one who chooses to enter it. It has a few unique qualities to it, but like the Horizon Walker they are not worth it at all.
Though at least with the Horizon Walker, you got unique bonuses per level…
Rating:
Garbage
Thaumaturgist

The Thaumaturgist rounds off the three five level PrCs that were designed for the Wizard, Druid, and in this case the Cleric. And yes, these guys are designed to only be used by Clerics given you need to be able to cast Lesser Planar Ally. The only other class with that spell are Divine Caster bootlegs like Favored Souls, Mystics, and the Knight of the Chalice PrC.
So Thaumaturgists are divine casters that specialize in working with Outsiders, be they good or evil. They form connections and alliances with them where they help each other out for their own gains. They also completely suck cock because 3 or 4 out of the 5 levels in Thaumaturgists might as well be dead levels for all the good that they do.
You see, the Thaumaturgist gains five ways that improve their abilities to work with Outsiders. The first level cuts the price of dealing with a planar ally in half, which is nice if you actually play by the rules. Usually players prefer not to though and just enslave their outsiders with blackmail and threats caused by magic circle and planar binding. Then you get Augment summoning for free… at a level way beyond when you could’ve taken that feat so it is a dead level. The third level is the only ability that’s actually good.
The third level nets you extended summoning, which doubles the time a summon can stay on the field. This actually is pretty damn nice, especially since it works with Extend Spell. Then we’re back to mediocrity with Contingent Conjuration. Sure it’s cool that a divine caster can now use this normally arcane only spell, but Contingency is used mainly as an escape gambit or distraction to run. Summoning doesn’t usually factor into it.
The last ability you get as a Thaumaturgist is Planar Cohort, which works like your standard Cohort but with a planar ally. It’s neatish but not really anything to write home about.
This class is mostly pointless, but normally I’d still say it’d be an alright option if you want to extend your summoning. But then there’s the one thing I’ve intentionally put off telling you: the Thaumaturgist had an HD of 4. Yes, for some fucking reason you get Wizard HD and lose fortitude when you enter this as the d8 HD cleric. Given how little you get out of this class, that takes it into the trash.
Skip it.
Rating:
Garbage
Tier List (Dungeon Masters Guide)
Tippy Tier: Mystic Theurge
Amazing Classes: Loremaster
Good Classes: Archmage, Assassin, Eldritch Knight
Decent Classes: Arcane Trickster, Red Wizard
Playable Classes: N/A
Garbage Classes: Arcane Archer, Dwarven Defender, Heirophant, Horizon Walker, Shadow Dancer, Thaumaturgist
Truenamer Class: Dragon Disciple, Duelist
NPC Class (Fuck you Book): Blackguard (was Garbage)
So yeah, most of the classes were pretty damn bad. Hell, this book had TWO Truenamer tier piles of shit, and the effort of transcribing the awful caused a case of brain drain.
Still, it's behind us now, and I can happily palate cleanse with Player's Handbook II. That one will come out whenever I get out of being lazy and finish the variant features for the classes they introduce.