This is things I struggle with every day include being misunderstood by others and not understanding others that leads to having aggressive and self-injury behaviors. My odd mannerisms and almost childish social interactions make people call me a fake and baby. My stims and tics causes people to be afraid of me. My repetitive and restricted behaviors and interest that interfere with my day-to-day life and I can’t let go or I freak out. My sensory issues to my environment make it hard for me to function in going out to public spaces and even my own personal care is affected. It causes me isolation and a victim of being made fun of by people who simply don’t understand me. Then to be in diapers makes some professionals make fun of me and refuse to help me with hygiene as they make me feel little. I am not a fake, I am not a baby, I always had these issues since a little kid. I had trouble communicating, trouble understanding things, trouble taking care of myself, sensory issues, learning disabilities, isolation, and my behaviors got in the way so I wasn’t properly diagnosed. Doctors always treated my problems as mental illness with no success. I had ABA, Speech, OT, Sensory Therapy in school and in very limited time in recent years had help me more than any other therapy. Routine, my weighted blanket, weighted stuff animal, routine, picture steps, AAC, and sensory toys all help me function and be independent. I can work with a lot of assistance. The problem comes getting a safe place to live and the therapies and supports that help me for my autism. Also, my ability to repeat information can help me a lot with getting the ABA and therapies I need for my autism. I had not worked much and I am locked in this prison that traps me from my potential and interacting with others in arms reach of me. My autism locks me in a prison cage in society. It is lonely, sad, scary when all I want to do is be with others, be included, not forgotten about, be understood, be able to understand others better, and be supported with my needs and behaviors. I want to work and help others but how when my autism and intellectual disability gets in the way. How can I exercise when I have these issues and can’t go out safely. I have ADHD too and this sitting still makes it very hard for me. When all I want is not able because of
#OPWDD Medicaid Waver. I am stuck in my parent’s house at 37 when everyone else is on their own. In school they held me back because of my math, reading, spieling, problem solving, communication problems, attention problems, and behaviors. They didn’t see I can learn until they had to do mandated testing to be shocked. All my life because improper diagnosis had led me be held back and locked in my cage my autism created. It affects me every day. It hurst me when people call me fake, degrade me, be nasty and angry at me for faking my autism. It hurts me they diaper shame me and refuse to see I have trouble with controlling my pee and poop as I don’t feel the urge. They refuse to see I had trouble taking a shower. They fail to see no one worked with my on a routine so I can do simple chores like dishes, pick up garbage, and take out garbage for my dad. They failed to see my disability as professionals at
#ECMC a hospital in
#BuffaloNY #NY calls me a fake. I was hurt by the emotional struggles of advocating, scripting what I was told, fighting to get food and help with a skin infection my diapers gave me. I also was hit by a car and couldn’t get out of a build when power or fire alarms and then my safety is at risk.
#Mentalhealth #professionals at
#ECMC and
#Doctors allow me to hit my head where I bleed and have brain injuries over and over. I have communication problems, can’t do changes, cognitive problems, restricted and repetitive behaviors and my sensory problems effects this. Also being denied help and care I need and called a fake and diaper shamed adds to this. On Facebook I met a friend who helped me as a lawyer. She had this other person help me. This person is a mental health professional who is friends with psychologist. Also, I had other professionals help me on Facebook and support groups. My two friends help me with being able to do a routine, help me plan my day, help my family be able to help me, and had help my family be able to plan my care and day. It helps me to be able to do simple things and more independent and it makes me supper happy. I am also able to keep myself busy. I can do things with lots of help and supports. I want to do better. I want help. Help has been denied by doctors and mental health professionals who discharge me because they don’t know how to help me or they can’t help me with my needs. Mental health professionals have said they can’t help me because my autism and unmet needs have caused me emotional and behavior problems and I need a different kind of help they can offer me.
