Army

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duckduckgoose

duckduckgoose

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 3, 2013
After college and the Wendy's disaster, Bob should have sent Chris off to enlist in the US army to straighten him out. It might have done Chris a world of good.
 
The Army doesn't accept Autistics. The threat of one of them wandering off to look at trains in the middle of a fire fight are too high.
 
^Yeah, if an inner ear disorder gets you disqualified, I'm sure the 'tism does too.
 
duckduckgoose said:
What about the cadets?
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You mean like West Point? I don't think Chris could even survive reading a brochure about the place.

They wouldn't take him anyway, since graduates join the Army afterwards as Officers.
 
"You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece."
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That M-14 weighs a grand number of pounds and Chris will need to be STRONG to carry it around.
 
Leaving aside the fact that Chris's mental and physical condition immediately disqualifies him: The US armed forces don't do the "straightening out" thing anymore anyway. They don't want anyone who doesn't want to be there.
 
Crazy Pacer said:
duckduckgoose said:
What about the cadets?
Click to expand...

You mean like West Point? I don't think Chris could even survive reading a brochure about the place.

They wouldn't take him anyway, since graduates join the Army afterwards as Officers.
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My dad is a graduate of West Point, the class of 1974, same as David Petraeus. They get thousands of applicants every year and only a few hundred are accepted, so even if you're competent it's hard to get in. Lots of people flunk out, too.

If Chris by some miracle did make it through, he'd be a goat (the bottom of the class; also the naval academy's mascot, their big rival).

Yes, all graduates are commissioned as second lieutenants and serve 3 years active duty and 2 years reserve.

I've been to West Point twice during my dad's class reunions, both times I wanted to go there. It's an absolutely beautiful place. Not that Chris would appreciate it :cry:

I would love to see Chris go through gas mask training, when they make you go into a room or tent with a gas mask, fill it with tear gas and then they make you take it off.
 
I would love to see Chris do confidence testing on a pro mask.
 
The sergeant would have to be a saint to not shot CWC in the head out of frustration.
 
I'd like to see him on the obstacle course :lol:

The sergeant would have to be a saint to not shoot CWC in the head out of frustration.
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The sergeants are trained to keep their composure no matter what a recruit does. And if one sergeant yelling isn't enough, there are usually a few more to help out.

And if they went into combat, he'd be cannon fodder.
 
On the whole, I'd say that Sonichu would have a better chance at getting into West Point than Chris-Ch­an.
 
I have just one question: How many pull-ups do they make you do in the Army?
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
I have just one question: How many pull-ups do they make you do in the Army?
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I am a girl and when I tried to get in I had to do at least twenty but I was denied for depressive disorders.
Men have to do at least thrity I think and for the navy in the leaast jog a mile.
He would get abducted by the evil north koreans in a week or thrown overboard a ship. :o
 
I mentioned this on the old forum in a 'what if about him in the army...

They'd make him an American suicide bomber.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
I have just one question: How many pull-ups do they make you do in the Army?
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None, unless you're Airborne. It's the Marines who do pull-ups.

Your NCOIC may decide your doing pull-ups for PT, however.
 
I don't think a recruiter would have even attempted to sign him up, even when recruiters were pressed for numbers and standards were lax at the Iraq War's highest point. It would be funny to see what would happen if a drill sergeant worked him over a little bit, though. :briefs:
 
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