Army

[WWWWolf]

Too bad he isn't in Finland. Since we have conscription, the army needs to deal with the fact that the young adults' health is getting terrible. (I think the army accepts autistic people but people can always request alternative service. Also, medical discharges happen all the time for relatively benign reasons.)

An independent support organisation bought Wii consoles and Wii Fit games to some of the garrisons. Chris would probably be disappointed that Sonic games and Animal Crossing are strictly forbidden. Only games that you need to play standing up are permitted.

But on the plus side, he could end up in the service in the winter, and could win points with others by demonstrating the "Frozen Stalactite" technique when temperatures drop below -40 celsius in Lapland.

 

[CatParty]

I think Alec is referring to this:




[youtube]XWTsHUjAwl8[/youtube]



I love his defense of "at least I tried" as if the attempt is a big accomplishment.

 

[GroundUpSweetheart]

^ I only just noticed now that he softly says"...still trying" right after.

Not only did he say "at least he tried" as if it was a big deal but he still thought he'd look better sending this failed attempt than just admitting in chat that he couldn't do it

 

[LordCustos3]

That M-14 weighs a grand number of pounds and Chris will need to be STRONG to carry it around.

But Chris isn't weak, he's very powerles---POWERFUL! He is the strong one! HE AM STRONNNG! You must back down! You... are a weakling! HE AM STRONG, BUFF ONE! GRRRRR! ARRRRRRR! Look at him lift that chair. Or that sixpack of sodacans.

So, mmmmmn....yeah....he might be a mag....Well. You may call him a maggot, but I'm a pretty dang strong one. Mmmhmmm...yeah.


In all seriousness, though....yeah. I think some boot camp at an early age would've given Da Chris'tard some structure and discipline into his oh-so-soft life.

The worst case scenario would be he'd get booted out for being too congenitally incompetent and stubbornly insubordinate.
The second worst case scenario is that he totally takes to that lifestyle, thrives on army life, and works his way up the chain of command until he becomes one of the Joint Chiefs....and becomes the first Joint Chief to ever be assassinated by his fellow Joint Chiefs.

 

[spaps]

I think he'd be better suited for the navy.
[youtube]InBXu-iY7cw[/youtube]

 

[DevilDog]

What about the cadets?

You mean like West Point? I don't think Chris could even survive reading a brochure about the place.

They wouldn't take him anyway, since graduates join the Army afterwards as Officers.

My dad is a graduate of West Point, the class of 1974, same as David Petraeus. They get thousands of applicants every year and only a few hundred are accepted, so even if you're competent it's hard to get in. Lots of people flunk out, too.

If Chris by some miracle did make it through, he'd be a goat (the bottom of the class; also the naval academy's mascot, their big rival).

Yes, all graduates are commissioned as second lieutenants and serve 3 years active duty and 2 years reserve.

I've been to West Point twice during my dad's class reunions, both times I wanted to go there. It's an absolutely beautiful place. Not that Chris would appreciate it

I would love to see Chris go through gas mask training, when they make you go into a room or tent with a gas mask, fill it with tear gas and then they make you take it off.

My brother goes there and he absolutely hates it

 

[CatParty]

I think he'd be better suited for the navy.
[youtube]InBXu-iY7cw[/youtube]

The navy just goes right back in him.

 

[AnchuentProphecy]

I think he'd be better suited for the navy.
[youtube]InBXu-iY7cw[/youtube]

No he wouldn't last one week in recruit training.
[youtube]xB0DuVg-N1s[/youtube]

 

[spaps]

I think he'd be better suited for the navy.
[youtube]InBXu-iY7cw[/youtube]

No he wouldn't last one week in recruit training.
[youtube]xB0DuVg-N1s[/youtube]

He wouldn't last 5 minutes in any physical training.

 

[Smokedaddy]

He's too old to enlist anyway.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

No. The military takes people in their early 40s. They've lowered the standards during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. They may raise the standards soon, though.

Still, they don't take people who have been on psychiatric medicine.

 

[Spatchmo]

^Yeah, if an inner ear disorder gets you disqualified, I'm sure the 'tism does too.

Inner ear disorders can wreck your shit though. I have a friend who had issues with one, and she ended up with severe vertigo and even after they fixed the problem, she couldn't walk without a cane to help keep her grounded for months afterward.

 

[shutupman]

Saw someone asked about the cadets, did whoever it was mean the reserves? That's the crap where you basically do drills every other weekend and some other very menial tasks.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Saw someone asked about the cadets, did whoever it was mean the reserves? That's the crap where you basically do drills every other weekend and some other very menial tasks.

He still couldn't handle it. This is a guy who will still to this day complain about having to pull weeds in the hot hot sun, and as far as our chrisologists can determine it wasn't a regular task - he had to do it exactly once. Can you imagine the wailing we'd hear if he had regular labor, even if it were only once every couple of weeks?

 

[Bgheff]

When you've had to pull weeds once in your life and you consider it an ordeal on par with war, you can see how Chris has so much "stress" in his life.

 

[captkrisma]

No. The military takes people in their early 40s. They've lowered the standards during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. They may raise the standards soon, though.

Still, they don't take people who have been on psychiatric medicine.

They've already started making cuts and they're expecting to make more, under the premise of "toxic leadership".

 

[DykesDykesChina]

Send him to Germany. Since conscription was stopped a few years ago, the Bundeswehr is desperate for recruits, they'd probably accept da Chris'tard.
Actually, the public image of the typical Bundeswehr soldier is a fat, not-too-bright dude who drinks a lot of reeb. So, he might fit in.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

He wouldn't last 5 minutes in any physical training.

He wouldn't survive the flight of stairs leading to the gym.

Chris only ever needed one thing to straighten him out, a proper upbringing. Borb doesn't even appear to have even come close to achieving this, and His autism multiplies this deficiency tenfold.

 

[NegaCWC]

He wouldn't last 5 minutes in any physical training.

He wouldn't survive the flight of stairs leading to the gym.

Chris only ever needed one thing to straighten him out, a proper upbringing. Borb doesn't even appear to have even come close to achieving this, and His autism multiplies this deficiency tenfold.

His autism is probably the reason he why wasn't given a proper upbringing in the first place. Look at Bob's other children. Carol is a Ph.D in mathematics who works for the federal government while David is an ophthalmologist. In regards to Barb's other son, while he isn't as successful as Chris's other two half-brothers, he still doing much better than OPL in terms of social life, finances and romance. Borb are the ones who taught Chris how to use the autism as a crutch and the situation was further exacerbated when Manchester high, Rocky and several other people played along.

In a certain way we can say that PVCC also encouraged Chris to use his autism as a crutch by allowing him to resume his studies there rather than permabanning him. I wouldn't be surprised if Chris would have been permabanned from the game place much sooner if it weren't for his autism.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

He wouldn't last 5 minutes in any physical training.

He wouldn't survive the flight of stairs leading to the gym.

Chris only ever needed one thing to straighten him out, a proper upbringing. Borb doesn't even appear to have even come close to achieving this, and His autism multiplies this deficiency tenfold.

His autism is probably the reason he why wasn't given a proper upbringing in the first place. Look at Bob's other children. Carol is a Ph.D in mathematics who works for the federal government while David is an ophthalmologist. In regards to Barb's other son, while he isn't as successful as Chris's other two half-brothers, he still doing much better than OPL in terms of social life, finances and romance. Borb are the ones who taught Chris how to use the autism as a crutch and the situation was further exacerbated when Manchester high, Rocky and several other people played along.

In a certain way we can say that PVCC also encouraged Chris to use his autism as a crutch by allowing him to resume his studies there rather than permabanning him. I wouldn't be surprised if Chris would have been permabanned from the game place much sooner if it weren't for his autism.

In Chris' case it's a vicious circle. He gets diagnosed with autism so Borb treated him like a special snowflake, which leads to his acting out, which leads to more special treatment. etc, etc. Whenever people refuse to accept his bullshit, Borb cries "autism" and attempt to sue, which further reinforces Chris belief that he's exempt from the rules.

Possibly the most annoying thing about Chris' mindset, is the fact that he feels that he's exempt from all the restrictions that the rest of us have to adhere to, whilst he believes hes still entitled to all the rewards that the rest of us attain by adhering to those very same rules.