Aug 27, 2013 FB Update

[Tubular Monkey]

While I don't doubt he has issues with blood-pressure, I bet he's using the term as a descriptor for anxiety.
It's too bad he won't seek therapy.

Chris has a strange relationship with anxiety. He thought Clyde Cash was coming to kill him, pooped the bed, put sunglasses on a teddy bear to serve as a flawless decoy, slept on the couch and had a wet dream. He's as timid as a bunny rabbit, but has the attention span of a gnat.

 

[Some JERK]

While I don't doubt he has issues with blood-pressure, I bet he's using the term as a descriptor for anxiety.
It's too bad he won't seek therapy.

That's what i'd assumed. I seriously doubt that Chris bothers to actually check his blood pressure.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Why does he say things like he "shot himself in the foot?"

He doesn't do anything! How can he deliberately do something bad to himself? Freaking Tomgirl Kahlua tripper.

 

[Marvin]

While I don't doubt he has issues with blood-pressure, I bet he's using the term as a descriptor for anxiety.
It's too bad he won't seek therapy.

That's what i'd assumed. I seriously doubt that Chris bothers to actually check his blood pressure.

Could've been from the last time he went to the doctor.

 

[Some JERK]

Why does he say things like he "shot himself in the foot?"

He doesn't do anything! How can he deliberately do something bad to himself? Freaking Tomgirl Kahlua tripper.

Well Shooting yourself in the foot doesn't mean to do something deliberately bad to yourself. It means to hurt yourself through being overly hasty, (which is actually from the days when people cocked their single action revolvers on the draw too quickly and sometimes quite literally wound up shooting themselves in the foot.)*

but nowadays it just means to screw yourself by doing stupid shit. Which Chris does all the time. In fact it's pretty much all he's ever done, so it's a surprisingly accurate statement from him.

* that might seem like so much autism, but the only reason i know that is because i carry a single action revolver sometimes.

 

[Some JERK]

While I don't doubt he has issues with blood-pressure, I bet he's using the term as a descriptor for anxiety.
It's too bad he won't seek therapy.

That's what i'd assumed. I seriously doubt that Chris bothers to actually check his blood pressure.

Could've been from the last time he went to the doctor.

i'd read it to mean "my blood pressure is up right now at this moment",but yeah it could have been. Or he could have been to the doctor earlier that day.

 

[DJAndyMD]

i'd read it to mean "my blood pressure is up right now at this moment",but yeah it could have been. Or he could have been to the doctor earlier that day.

And sadly, Chris would ignore the doctor's request to probably change his lifestyle because he could give a rat's ass.

 

[Lady Houligan]

Well the glee from the reunion didn't last long.

[youtube]Il6V7hRtjPA[/youtube]
Seriously. I call this is just bullshit whining to mine for sympathy from the friends' list, as a sort of fact-checking to see which of the high school friends are reading his updates.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Sensory defensiveness + sphygmomanometer = hours of fun. I'd be surprised if Charles Atlas feels compelled to visit the doctor regularly, though I may well be mistaken. I keep saying that as bad as Chris looks on the outside, his insides are a wasteland of plaque and hardening arteries.

This month started out well for him. He got his free money for being useless and he went to town with LEGOs and MLP crap, built his high school, and was on top of the world. Then the buzz wore off, as it always does. He's gwumpy and wonewy again. But a new month is dawning. More free money for being useless is on its way. TOYS BECKON! Baby Huey will be reveling in the excesses of his ill-gotten gains for 48-96 hours, being all sassy and smug. Then he'll crash. Up, down, up down, happy, sad, happy, sad. Lather, rinse and repeat until right around 2015 when his heart stops.

* The Grim Reaper told me 2017, but he's a lying cunt.

 

[Coldgrip]

Well Shooting yourself in the foot doesn't mean to do something deliberately bad to yourself. It means to hurt yourself through being overly hasty, (which is actually from the days when people cocked their single action revolvers on the draw too quickly and sometimes quite literally wound up shooting themselves in the foot.)*

but nowadays it just means to screw yourself by doing stupid shit. Which Chris does all the time. In fact it's pretty much all he's ever done, so it's a surprisingly accurate statement from him.

* that might seem like so much autism, but the only reason i know that is because i carry a single action revolver sometimes.

I think the expression you're thinking of is 'going off half cocked'.

As for the whole shooting yourself in the foot thing Chris is so fond of saying, he got that from the character Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith show.

Edit* I was reading over Barney's wikipedia page and came across this little tidbit:
An emotional powderkeg, Barney often overreacts with panic, despair or bug-eyed fear. Barney is smug and self-confident, and is known for engaging in gossip and revealing both personal and police secrets, often with dire consequences. Outwardly "a man of the world," Barney is truly naïve and easily duped. Though constantly warned by Andy, Barney falls for countless scams. This gullibility is evident in many episodes, including "Barney's First Car", where he is conned into buying a lemon from a crafty old widow.

So, OPL is the second coming of Barney Fife...

 

[Some JERK]

Well Shooting yourself in the foot doesn't mean to do something deliberately bad to yourself. It means to hurt yourself through being overly hasty, (which is actually from the days when people cocked their single action revolvers on the draw too quickly and sometimes quite literally wound up shooting themselves in the foot.)*

but nowadays it just means to screw yourself by doing stupid shit. Which Chris does all the time. In fact it's pretty much all he's ever done, so it's a surprisingly accurate statement from him.

* that might seem like so much autism, but the only reason i know that is because i carry a single action revolver sometimes.

I think the expression you're thinking of is 'going off half cocked'.

As for the whole shooting yourself in the foot thing Chris is so fond of saying, he got that from the character Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith show.

going off half cocked is something that happens when you're loading a single action revolver. you have to set the hammer to half-cock to free the cylinder and open the loading gate, and people have shot themselves or others while doing that, but while that particular saying is also about haste, it's more about not doing things prematurely in general, not exactly about hurting yourself by doing so.

 

[LordCustos3]

While I don't doubt he has issues with blood-pressure, I bet he's using the term as a descriptor for anxiety.
It's too bad he won't seek therapy.

That's what i'd assumed. I seriously doubt that Chris bothers to actually check his blood pressure.

Could've been from the last time he went to the doctor.

Who prescribed Lipitor in 3000 milligrams capsules, seven times a day, not to be taken with food, oh for gods sake enough with the food! Listen to me, you distended Sarlacc Pit: Deep fried cheesecake is not an appetizer, its a cry for help! Especially when you eat a family sized portion....by yourself...as a condiment....on an entire roast suckling Guinness-award-winning prize sow....that you ate in one sitting....bones and all....as a between meal light snack!

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I read "I do try to learn from my mistakes!" and heard it in the same nasally, whiny tone Chris uses when he's talking back to someone who's lecturing him.

So did I. Chris loves to contradict people he doesn't like just for its own sake, even when he doesn't have a plan for how it could help him. If you said "Chris, you have never been to the moon" in a condescending voice, his immediate response would be "oh yes I have!"

While I don't doubt he has issues with blood-pressure, I bet he's using the term as a descriptor for anxiety.
It's too bad he won't seek therapy.

People have told him many times that being on disability means that the state of Virginia will fully pay for any cognitive/behavioral therapy he went to. He pretends he doesn't hear you when you say it, because all he understands therapy to be is someone telling you you're wrong, and he doesn't care for that.

 

[CatParty]

He was neglectfully raised to be neglectful.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Nah, OPL isn't a Barney Fife. Barney had a job (because his cousin Andy is the sheriff) and a sweetheart, two things OPL will never have.

Just ask fans of the Andy Griffith show. Most of them will say Barney is their favorite character, so he's at least a lovable loser. OPL is just a loser.

 

[Some JERK]

Nah, OPL isn't a Barney Fife. Barney had a job (because his cousin Andy is the sheriff) and a sweetheart, two things OPL will never have.

Just ask fans of the Andy Griffith show. Most of them will say Barney is their favorite character, so he's at least a lovable loser. OPL is just a loser.

The comedy was in the fact that we was way TOO gentle and amicable to be an officer of the law, which required periodic confrontation.

 

[homerbeoulve]

Well the glee from the reunion didn't last long.

He'd been shooting his feet in years.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Nah, OPL isn't a Barney Fife. Barney had a job (because his cousin Andy is the sheriff) and a sweetheart, two things OPL will never have.

Just ask fans of the Andy Griffith show. Most of them will say Barney is their favorite character, so he's at least a lovable loser. OPL is just a loser.

The comedy was in the fact that he was way TOO gentle and amicable to be an officer of the law, which required periodic confrontation.

True, he's amicable but he thinks he's a tough guy. Plus he's a bumbling buffoon much of the time, although there's always a happy ending on the Andy Griffith show so Barney always redeems himself or learns his lesson in the end. Again, two things OPL will never do.

I like the urban legend that Don Knotts was the most feared USMC drill instructor during WWII. It isn't true (he was in the army and entertained troops), but it is amusing.

Also: holy crap, Don Knotts died on Chris's 24th birthday! It's amazing he's been gone for 7 years already.

 

[Male]

Today...My blood pressure is up; feeling real dizzy and faint.

Sounds like someone needs their dose of Lipitor.
Start digging through the hoard

 

[José Mourinho]

"I do try to learn from my mistakes!"

Then stop whining about the trolls and move on.