Bad Movie Recomendations

50 Cent & Val Kilmer in a cop buddy movie set in Detroit? What could go wrong?


This one is on Netflix, it has a lot of silly over the top gore and kung fu. One of the bad guys is named "The Brass Head".

 
A friend of mine found this really weird goldmine of bad Nigerian films that are called "Nollywood movies".


I don't even know.
 
The worst Christmas movie ever made is not Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, it's not the Mexican Santa Claus, it is Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, an absolutely grade-Z production made by a now-closed Florida theme park:


If you must watch it, watch it with RiffTrax.

Another awful film I'd recommend is the 1980 Toei anime, Dracula, Sovereign of the Damned, which tries to condense 70 issues of a comic book into 90 minutes. The results include stuff like this:

 
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TheMightyMonarch said:
You heard of The Incredible Hulk? Well get ready for The Amazing Bulk!
It's got everything! Great acting! Clipart tier graphics! And even the credits are done in purple comic sans.
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That looks like a real shitty FMV game. I think I have to watch this movie now.
 
Another goddamn mess from Chaiyo Productions, the company of Sompote Sands, the rat bastard who stole Ultraman and doesn't mind killing animals to get a shot.
Also has worse creature costumes / effects than the Thumbelina thing from Santa Meets The Ice Cream Bunny.
 
Knights of Badassdom, campy low budget movie about larpers versus a demon.
It's got Peter Dinklage as a larping nerd so you know you want to see it.
 
Two that'd I recommend are Uwe Boll's House of the Dead, as the schlock production value mixed with bad writing to create accidental comedy, and Read and Deader, a movie where a zombie is the protagonist.
 
Ninja Commandments. A Godfrey Ho ninja flick that would elicit a few laughs in the beginning (Ninja's are Christians or something in that they must follow the command of no sex before marriage). I know there exist an edited version that gets rid of the filler that isn't really associated with the film aside from some dubbed voice-overs (said filler is from an unrelated south-east Asian film involving a woman, having a baby, and getting disfigured from a fire if memory serves me correct)

Opening:

8 Commandments:


 
c-no said:
Ninja Commandments. A Godfrey Ho ninja flick that would elicit a few laughs in the beginning (Ninja's are Christians or something in that they must follow the command of no sex before marriage). I know there exist an edited version that gets rid of the filler that isn't really associated with the film aside from some dubbed voice-overs (said filler is from an unrelated south-east Asian film involving a woman, having a baby, and getting disfigured from a fire if memory serves me correct)

Opening:

8 Commandments:


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Godfrey Ho is a fucking legend.


Another one of my favorites is Deadly Prey, or as my friends and I call it, Party City Rambo. The entire movie is great, but the last few minutes are sublime.


But my go-to for so bad it's good is definitely Slumber Party Massacre 2. It's your typical slasher flick, except the killer's weapon of choice is a guitar that's also a giant power drill. Sometimes he does some rockabilly crooning before he kills an innocent victim.


I'm pretty sure you can find full length versions of these on Youtube if you really want to.
 
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Fans of Deagle Nation I'm sure fondly remember Jace playing Postal 2. Uwe Boll made a movie for it and of course it's terrible. The plot has very little to do with the game, and they had Vern Troyer (spoiler: he gets gang raped by monkeys) replace Gary Coleman as their famous midget.

Nevermind it's actually shit.

Here are two "bad movies" that I actually like. They feature two incredibly famous people before they "made it"

#1. Years before Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson was a struggling B-movie director. Along with "Dead Alive", one of his most popular B-movies was "Meet The Feebles" which is a behind the scenes look at the Muppets if they were a bunch of violent sex/drug-addicted fiends.


#2. Famous for his composing, Danny Elfman was in a band called Oingo Boingo back in the day. They decided to make a movie (directed by his less famous brother) called "The Forbidden Zone" which makes no fucking sense at all but is amazing. Here is a scene from it with Danny Elfman playing the Devil. I wouldn't be surprised if the protagonist of the movie is the father of @Ronald Raygun

I put the song under a spoiler cuz there's some boobs
 
There are about a dozen movies that I recommend to anyone who has a sense of humor and loves bad movies. I call them Legendary Shit Films and here are a few of them:

Only the Strong (1993) - The guy who plays the Chairman from Iron Chef America tries to teach a group of troubled 90s kids capoeria but runs afoul of an evil 90s gang. Today's secret ingredient is roundhouse kicks. This movie is fucking ridiculous and good luck getting that song out of your head.

Balance of Power (1991) - Billy Blanks (of Tae Bo fame) is an inner city karate teacher who also runs afoul of a gang and after one of his kids is shot at point blank range with a fucking shotgun (please keep this in mind) because reasons. What follows is his crusade of bloody vengeance and quite possibly the most retarded, hilarious twist ending I've ever seen in a movie. This movie is a gift from god.

Ninja III: The Domination (1984) - The ghost of a ninja possesses the chick from Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo and what follows is an ungainly mashup of Flashdance, the Exorcist, and a ninja movie. This film opens with this, quite possibly the greatest scene ever in a movie (this clip is just two minutes of said scene, the rest of which resembles a 4-star police chase in GTA V):
 
The killing of Satan - Filipino Christians use their Christian magic to fight Satan! There is a lot of boring stretches, but the payoff is there!

 
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Some of the best so-bad-it's-good kids' cinema of all time are the Mexican kids' films K. Gordon Murray dubbed and released here in the early 60s. I'm certain most of you are familiar with the Mexican Santa Claus film MST3K so memorably made fun of...

But here's one that's even better: Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters. This was the third in a series of Little Red Riding Hood-related films released in Mexico at the time, and as you can see, they'd run out of material from the fairytale to exhaust.

The film is a hybrid of fairy tale musical and vintage horror film, with all the insanity that implies. Here's the trailer, just so you get an idea of what watching this film is like:


And here's a trailer for Murray's dub of a Mexican adaptation of Puss in Boots, just so you realize that this was normal for Mexican kids' films back in the day. Notice the incredibly realistic and lifelike cat suit they put the midget who played Puss in.

 
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If anyone wants a Jaw's rip-off starring a Killer Whale... I'll just leave this here. There are stretches of dull, but the part where the orca sets a village on fire was pretty funny.
 
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