Bad Movie Recomendations

[Strelok]

I present to you the majesty that is, Turkish Star Wars.

 

[Ravana]

The worst Christmas movie ever made is not Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, it's not the Mexican Santa Claus, it is Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, an absolutely grade-Z production made by a now-closed Florida theme park:

The story of Santa who stops midway through his story to tell another story of a girl at Pirate's World who stops and is told the story of Thumbelina which also stops part way through that story to recap the story being told to the girl by the PA box which is being relayed by Santa Claus.

 

[Strelok]

@Kitlen

This is your goddamn fault.

 

[Smutley]

50 Cent & Val Kilmer in a cop buddy movie set in Detroit? What could go wrong?

I see your movie and raise you Jay Leno & Pat Morita in a racist cop buddy movie set in Detroit

I'm a big fan of Godfrey Ho, the godfather of Hong Kong schlock. I've sperged about Robo Vampire and Catman in Lethal Track before, but here's another one of his many classics: Thunder Ninja Kids in the Hunt for the Devil Boxer

 

[Steamboat_Bill]

How come nobody's mentioned this one yet?

If you must watch this, by all means find the version with Arnold's real voice. The version where he's dubbed is hilarious (the voice just doesn't match him), but as you can see in this video, this is what Arnold's acting ability was like back when he started out...

 

[Strelok]

I present to you Tom Hanks first feature film, a movie made during the height of the D&D scare, where he goes insane and thinks he's his actual D&D character.

It's not nearly as cool as it sounds.

 

[Strelok]

One more, that I'd prefer not to be quoted for with spoilers because I intend to watch it this week with the same group I watched Theodore Rex and Mazes with.

But I'll let the trailer speak for itself.

Apparently there's an italian cut that's 8 min longer and (equivalent to) R rated because it has gore in it, like a dude getting sliced in half.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

This one is actually really enjoyable, because it's almost immediately apparent that the actors are fully aware of how godawful the writing is.

 

[Picklepower]

It's like Tron, but with more people going "Eeeh?" and "Aaaaah!!!!"

 

[Too Many Crooks]

Bad movies? You can't go wrong with The American Rabbit.

 

[Malady Twigs]

Regarded as the worst animated movie (ever?), I don't even know where to start with Foodfight! The main character (dog-tective) was voiced by Charlie Sheen, though, so that's... something. Both JonTron and the Nostalgia Critic did reviews on this goddawful movie.

 

[XYZpdq]

An old Blue Demon movie where monster spiders invade from space. Special guest stars: sfx shots and music from a bunch of b-movies.

 

[Steamboat_Bill]

I don't know what the hell it is about old kiddie matinee films that make them so very apropos for a thread like this, but a hell of a lot of them would qualify.

Take the output of Barry Mahon - what happens when a porn director tries to go into making kids' movies. Practically everything he did seems like a filmed play, with incredibly cheap, cheesy production values - you never believe for a moment that the sets look real. For example-

(Also... look about two and a half minutes in. Cynthia Hanson, this movie is calling you!)

 

[Wabbu]

Fucking...Little Panda fighter.

I tought this thread was for bad movies, not masterpieces.

 

[TheMightyMonarch]

Regarded as the worst animated movie (ever?), I don't even know where to start with Foodfight! The main character (dog-tective) was voiced by Charlie Sheen, though, so that's... something. Both JonTron and the Nostalgia Critic did reviews on this goddawful movie.

Foodfight! is awesome. Too bad I can't get my friends to watch this piece of shit with me.
Speaking of animated movies,

ANOTHER animated Titanic movie. The animation here is nicer in comparison but the ending is stupider. Not only does everyone lives but a giant octopus saves the ship from sinking. Oh and there's a romance subplot that mirrors Jack and Rose and the guy is also a total creeper like in the other Titanic movie.

While this movie is better in comparison to the two animated Titanic movies, it still sucks. The animation looks cheap, the story is cliche as fuck, and it has Chris Kattan in it.

 

[Hodor]

Knights of Badassdom, campy low budget movie about larpers versus a demon.

It's got Peter Dinklage as a larping nerd so you know you want to see it.

I just watched this. Admittedly I was baked out of my fucking mind, but it was a surprisingly fun watch.

 

[DietCherry]

The Christmas Dinosaur
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxydrJeB4Mk

 

[BrunoMattei]

The cinema of Bruno Mattei:

Best scene: plastic rats on a conveyor belt heading towards our protagonists as they recoil in horror at the rat hoard.

Best scene: while rummaging an abandoned house, a soldier puts on a tutu and dances, then gets eaten by zombies.

Best scene: a female prisoner thwarts a would be neo-nazi rapist by carefully inserting a razor blade into her cunt.

Strike Commando 1 and 2.

Best scene(s): any time Reb Brown screams.

The entire thing is a shot for shot word by word remake of James Cameron's Aliens except replace Aliens with Zombies. It's as though Bruno and his script writer downloaded a copy of the Aliens script, used Control+F to find every word referencing Aliens, and replaced it with Zombies. Needs to be seen to be believed.

 

[Nekromantik]

Can't go wrong with I drink your blood. I'll just type whats on the back of my DVD.
It's Night of the Living Dead meets Charlie Manson in this gore-drenched 1971 drive in classic. After consuming rabies infected meat pies, an LSD addicted hippie cult goes on a vicious murdering rampage!

 

[Steamboat_Bill]

What about Blood Freak (sorry if anyone's mentioned this one before), the movie about a turkey-headed drug addict vampire?