Barb

[93Aiwass]

They would probably complain about not being able to afford nurses or something.

I don't know how it is in Virginia, but in West Virginia, I know there's ways to get a nurse to come in and help without having to pay out of pocket. Not being able to afford one isn't an excuse. It's really sad, actually. There's help available to them, but Barb won't do anything. She's holed up with Chris in a shitshack. It's a literal nest of trash and feces. I actually feel really bad for Chris.

Huh, I've never heard of that. I think in Maryland, that sort of thing would just be covered under health insurance.

Yeah, in Colorado, there are several ways you can get that kind of thing covered under public benefits, as well. Medicaid, Old Age Pension (OAP) and a state allowance for Home Health Care services.

 

[Marvin]

I don't know how it is in Virginia, but in West Virginia, I know there's ways to get a nurse to come in and help without having to pay out of pocket. Not being able to afford one isn't an excuse. It's really sad, actually. There's help available to them, but Barb won't do anything. She's holed up with Chris in a shitshack. It's a literal nest of trash and feces. I actually feel really bad for Chris.

Huh, I've never heard of that. I think in Maryland, that sort of thing would just be covered under health insurance.

Yeah, in Colorado, there are several ways you can get that kind of thing covered under public benefits, as well. Medicaid, Old Age Pension (OAP) and a state allowance for Home Health Care services.

Huh, well, Medicaid is both state and federally funded. But I wonder who decides what they'll pay for, the states or the federal government?

Anyway, interesting.

 

[PolterBob]

You must think Chris is Ed Gein or something.

It's not an Ed Gein thing, but

1. Chris has no real concept of death, even when his dog, aunt, and father have died. To him, they only were transformed like Jedi into beings of light, who now exist at Chris' command to torment his enemies.

2. Chris might want to keep Barb's carcass under a pile of clothes in her bedroom, tossing in some bottles of perfume to keep the house from becoming stinkIER, and collect her Social Security (Hmmm......maybe THAT's why he's going tranny. He's practicing for the days when he impersonates her at the bank to pick up her tugboat).

 

[93Aiwass]

You must think Chris is Ed Gein or something.

It's not an Ed Gein thing, but

1. Chris has no real concept of death, even when his dog, aunt, and father have died. To him, they only were transformed like Jedi into beings of light, who now exist at Chris' command to torment his enemies.

2. Chris might want to keep Barb's carcass under a pile of clothes in her bedroom, tossing in some bottles of perfume to keep the house from becoming stinkIER, and collect her Social Security (Hmmm......maybe THAT's why he's going tranny. He's practicing for the days when he impersonates her at the bank to pick up her tugboat).

... I don't think he can pull it off, to be honest.

 

[Marvin]

1. Chris has no real concept of death, even when his dog, aunt, and father have died. To him, they only were transformed like Jedi into beings of light, who now exist at Chris' command to torment his enemies.

I mean, we really don't know what Chris thinks of death, but Chris was extremely fucked up by his father's death. He mourned his loss like I would expect any other normal person to.

 

[93Aiwass]

1. Chris has no real concept of death, even when his dog, aunt, and father have died. To him, they only were transformed like Jedi into beings of light, who now exist at Chris' command to torment his enemies.

I mean, we really don't know what Chris thinks of death, but Chris was extremely fucked up by his father's death. He mourned his loss like I would expect any other normal person to.

... Yeah, that was weird. Especially when you consider the fact that Chris' previous understanding of death was pretty piss poor. The [cwc]Father Call[/cwc] was evidence of that.

 

[Uzumaki]

1. Chris has no real concept of death, even when his dog, aunt, and father have died. To him, they only were transformed like Jedi into beings of light, who now exist at Chris' command to torment his enemies.

I mean, we really don't know what Chris thinks of death, but Chris was extremely fucked up by his father's death. He mourned his loss like I would expect any other normal person to.

... Yeah, that was weird. Especially when you consider the fact that Chris' previous understanding of death was pretty piss poor. The [cwc]Father Call[/cwc] was evidence of that.

His understanding was poor because he had never experienced it. His aunt was less real to him than a cartoon character, and he felt the death of his dog was a loss on par with an immediate family member. Bob dying was probably the first time a human he gave two shits about died. This was the first time he experienced real loss.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Chris might want to keep Barb's carcass under a pile of clothes in her bedroom, tossing in some bottles of perfume to keep the house from becoming stinkIER, and collect her Social Security (Hmmm......maybe THAT's why he's going tranny. He's practicing for the days when he impersonates her at the bank to pick up her tugboat).

People joke about this, but in all seriousness I don't think Chris understands what social security is for an elderly person, or how Barb gets whatever money she has, or have any idea how he could collect it himself after she goes.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Besides, if his tugboat got bigger after Bob died, wouldn't it get bigger after Barb dies, too?

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Chris might want to keep Barb's carcass under a pile of clothes in her bedroom, tossing in some bottles of perfume to keep the house from becoming stinkIER, and collect her Social Security (Hmmm......maybe THAT's why he's going tranny. He's practicing for the days when he impersonates her at the bank to pick up her tugboat).

People joke about this, but in all seriousness I don't think Chris understands what social security is for an elderly person, or how Barb gets whatever money she has, or have any idea how he could collect it himself after she goes.

He probably thinks every first of the month, the magical government money fairy flies down to the ATM. waives her magic wand and taps the ATM, magically putting money into her checking account, as she does with him.

I know I said he'd cash her SS checks, but I don't think Social Security even mails checks anymore. It's all direct deposit. So if Barb passes away, all he'd need is her debit card. She might have given him the PIN, because she needed him to go to Food Lion to buy some deli sandwiches and 72 boxes of Beggin' Strips that were on sale (IT WAS A BARGAIN!)

 

[PolterBob]

1. Chris has no real concept of death, even when his dog, aunt, and father have died. To him, they only were transformed like Jedi into beings of light, who now exist at Chris' command to torment his enemies.

I mean, we really don't know what Chris thinks of death, but Chris was extremely fucked up by his father's death. He mourned his loss like I would expect any other normal person to.

Chris is only upset by death when it interferes with what he wants, such as when his aunt deliberately timed her death perfectly to ruin Chris annual pancake pigout.

Besides, if his tugboat got bigger after Bob died, wouldn't it get bigger after Barb dies, too?

Nope. If Chris did get his tugboat boosted after Bob passed away (instead of the extra money going into Barb's TB), he wouldn't then get Barb's too.

And I think Chris was likely relieved that Bob was gone. Bob was the only person ever keeping Chris on a leash, as well as being the Master of his Money. When Bob passed on, Chris's debts went away with Bob AND Chris got to keep all of his tugboat again.

I know I said he'd cash her SS checks, but I don't think Social Security even mails checks anymore. It's all direct deposit. So if Barb passes away, all he'd need is her debit card. She might have given him the PIN, because she needed him to go to Food Lion to buy some deli sandwiches and 72 boxes of Beggin' Strips that were on sale (IT WAS A BARGAIN!)

As of March 1st 2013, ALL Social Security payments are now electronic only. Chris could very easily take Barb's debit card and go nuts with it. Literally.

 

[CatParty]

Chris might want to keep Barb's carcass under a pile of clothes in her bedroom, tossing in some bottles of perfume to keep the house from becoming stinkIER, and collect her Social Security (Hmmm......maybe THAT's why he's going tranny. He's practicing for the days when he impersonates her at the bank to pick up her tugboat).

People joke about this, but in all seriousness I don't think Chris understands what social security is for an elderly person, or how Barb gets whatever money she has, or have any idea how he could collect it himself after she goes.

He probably thinks every first of the month, the magical government money fairy flies down to the ATM. waives her magic wand and taps the ATM, magically putting money into her checking account, as she does with him.

I know I said he'd cash her SS checks, but I don't think Social Security even mails checks anymore. It's all direct deposit. So if Barb passes away, all he'd need is her debit card. She might have given him the PIN, because she needed him to go to Food Lion to buy some deli sandwiches and 72 boxes of Beggin' Strips that were on sale (IT WAS A BARGAIN!)

I know they're dirt poor, but I don't think they've stooped to eating pet food yet.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

I know they're dirt poor, but I don't think they've stooped to eating pet food yet.

The Beggin' Strips are for the dogs, silly!

Or hell, maybe the Barb, Chris, and the doggies all eat out of the same bowl because they can not find any other dishes in the hoard. Maybe that's why Chris goes to MickeyD's so much.

 

[Bugaboo]

I know they're dirt poor, but I don't think they've stooped to eating pet food yet.

The Beggin' Strips are for the dogs, silly!

Or hell, maybe the Barb, Chris, and the doggies all eat out of the same bowl because they can not find any other dishes in the hoard. Maybe that's why Chris goes to MickeyD's so much.

Dog food is too expensive, all they get is beggin' strips.

 

[CatParty]

I know they're dirt poor, but I don't think they've stooped to eating pet food yet.

The Beggin' Strips are for the dogs, silly!

Or hell, maybe the Barb, Chris, and the doggies all eat out of the same bowl because they can not find any other dishes in the hoard. Maybe that's why Chris goes to MickeyD's so much.

I keep forgetting about the dogs

But I'm sure barb and Chris do too.

Those poor innocent dogs

 

[Dig]

I know they're dirt poor, but I don't think they've stooped to eating pet food yet.

The Beggin' Strips are for the dogs, silly!

Or hell, maybe the Barb, Chris, and the doggies all eat out of the same bowl because they can not find any other dishes in the hoard. Maybe that's why Chris goes to MickeyD's so much.

I keep forgetting about the dogs

But I'm sure barb and Chris do too.

Those poor innocent dogs

Aren't they just puppies, too? D:

 

[Bugaboo]

I know they're dirt poor, but I don't think they've stooped to eating pet food yet.

The Beggin' Strips are for the dogs, silly!

Or hell, maybe the Barb, Chris, and the doggies all eat out of the same bowl because they can not find any other dishes in the hoard. Maybe that's why Chris goes to MickeyD's so much.

I keep forgetting about the dogs

But I'm sure barb and Chris do too.

Those poor innocent dogs

Cats can escape and find a new home or just live outside. Dogs cannot
On the old forum somebody said that beagles love to run around and play which Barb and Chris can't do with them (and in Chris's case he likely wouldn't if he was able.) But hell, the least he could do is take them to a dog park once or twice a week and toss a ball around with them. He'd get out of the house by doing so.
And dogs who don't get a lot of exercise can develop weight problems which will lead to further problems later in life.

 

[CatParty]

Cats can escape and find a new home or just live outside. Dogs cannot
On the old forum somebody said that beagles love to run around and play which Barb and Chris can't do with them (and in Chris's case he likely wouldn't if he was able.) But hell, the least he could do is take them to a dog park once or twice a week and toss a ball around with them. He'd get out of the house by doing so.
And dogs who don't get a lot of exercise can develop weight problems which will lead to further problems later in life.

Which is so ironic, because if he were to go out with the dogs to a dog park, he would, you know, have human contact and stuff.

Problem solved, Chris.

Treat the dogs right and let the out to play and *gasp* maybe talk to someone.


Seems like a much better idea than being the creep at McDonald's.

 

[Dig]

On the old forum somebody said that beagles love to run around and play which Barb and Chris can't do with them (and in Chris's case he likely wouldn't if he was able.) But hell, the least he could do is take them to a dog park once or twice a week and toss a ball around with them. He'd get out of the house by doing so.
And dogs who don't get a lot of exercise can develop weight problems which will lead to further problems later in life.

It's not just weight problems. Dogs can develop pretty bad behavioral problems if they aren't socialized at a young age, both with people and other animals. I'd be worried about the fact that they'll eventually have some pretty nasty run-ins with the cats, especially since beagles have natural hunting instincts. With a good owner, beagles can be probably some of the best dogs you can own IMO. But considering their owners, the pups are going to grow to be incredibly destructive. Possibly even aggressive since beagles can and will snap and bite if they aren't trained at a young age. They will also obsessively howl.
In short, the Chandler household is fucked.

 

[Bugaboo]

On the old forum somebody said that beagles love to run around and play which Barb and Chris can't do with them (and in Chris's case he likely wouldn't if he was able.) But hell, the least he could do is take them to a dog park once or twice a week and toss a ball around with them. He'd get out of the house by doing so.
And dogs who don't get a lot of exercise can develop weight problems which will lead to further problems later in life.

It's not just weight problems. Dogs can develop pretty bad behavioral problems if they aren't socialized at a young age, both with people and other animals. I'd be worried about the fact that they'll eventually have some pretty nasty run-ins with the cats, especially since beagles have natural hunting instincts. With a good owner, beagles can be probably some of the best dogs you can own IMO. But considering their owners, the pups are going to grow to be incredibly destructive. Possibly even aggressive since beagles can and will snap and bite if they aren't trained at a young age. They will also obsessively howl.
In short, the Chandler household is fucked.

Does Chris realize dogs need a lot more than food, water and poop scooping?
Chris could actually have fun playing with his dogs in a park instead of complaining about DA STRESS of taking care of them.