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D-Backs put up a 14-spot in the third inning against the Rockies, setting a record for most runs in a single inning on Opening Day.

Might as well change their names to the Colorado Fucks, because they're completely fucked.
 
Looseleaf Paper said:
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No wonder it took us 62 years to win a world series, we can't even keep a FUCKING BANNER STRAIGHT, plus it boring as hell. It's whatever, the actual banner doesn't matter more so what it stands for. Also this was my first opening day game and man is the bar set high because the game was fun even with the bullshit ump call.
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Until Jerry sells the team (because Cap Boy sure as hell won't fix anything) DFW is now a Baseball city!!!!
 
Lost the glove that I'd had since high school. Must have fallen out of my backpack after softball. Bought a new one and am trying to break it in.

In my vast genius, I smashed my finger because I was wearing it while tenderizing it with a rubber mallet.

ETA: Am I alone in not paying close attention to current MLB news, and instead preferring more meta discussion of the game?
 
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The geniuses at MLB decided to schedule the Red Sox opening series as a west coast road trip, and because everyone should go to games when it's cold and dark and not get home until very late they're mostly night games. This means the opening day start for the Red Sox was 10PM local time on a weekday for fans. Great way to bring the fans in, especially considering how disgruntled they are at the Sox offseason already. If I already didn't feel like watching I'm certainly not staying up past midnight.

Here's the whole road trip schedule:
Thursday, March 28: at Seattle, 10:10 p.m. ET
Friday, March 29: at Seattle, 9:40 p.m. ET
Saturday, March 30: at Seattle, 9:40 p.m. ET
Sunday, March 31: at Seattle, 4:10 p.m. ET

Monday, April 1: at Oakland, 9:40 p.m. ET
Tuesday, April 2: at Oakland, 9:40 p.m. ET
Wednesday, April 3: at Oakland, 3:37 p.m. ET

Friday, April 5: at L.A. Angels, 9:38 p.m. ET
Saturday, April 6: at L.A. Angels, 9:38 p.m. ET
Sunday, April 7: at L.A. Angels, 4:07 p.m. ET

Who the fuck is going to be watching these games on the east coast?
 
Muggsy said:
The geniuses at MLB decided to schedule the Red Sox opening series as a west coast road trip, and because everyone should go to games when it's cold and dark and not get home until very late they're mostly night games. This means the opening day start for the Red Sox was 10PM local time on a weekday for fans. Great way to bring the fans in, especially considering how disgruntled they are at the Sox offseason already. If I already didn't feel like watching I'm certainly not staying up past midnight.

Here's the whole road trip schedule:
Thursday, March 28: at Seattle, 10:10 p.m. ET
Friday, March 29: at Seattle, 9:40 p.m. ET
Saturday, March 30: at Seattle, 9:40 p.m. ET
Sunday, March 31: at Seattle, 4:10 p.m. ET

Monday, April 1: at Oakland, 9:40 p.m. ET
Tuesday, April 2: at Oakland, 9:40 p.m. ET
Wednesday, April 3: at Oakland, 3:37 p.m. ET

Friday, April 5: at L.A. Angels, 9:38 p.m. ET
Saturday, April 6: at L.A. Angels, 9:38 p.m. ET
Sunday, April 7: at L.A. Angels, 4:07 p.m. ET

Who the fuck is going to be watching these games on the east coast?
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Constant source of complaint from the cold weather and east coast teams. MLB was trying to "work with the owners" to make it more balanced but I think the colder weather cities are always going to get the short end of the stick at the beginning of the year. And the southern teams don't exactly like it either because then they get less games during the height of summer when way more casual fans come in because well, it's fun to drink outside on a warm breezy summer night even if you're not a huge baseball fan.
 
Phillies got rained out opening day, then today we made up and holy smokes our bull pen fell apart. Over all we did well and well Spencer Strider is just fucking insane. No one will hit off that guy ever. I assume his power comes from his mustache. But losing at home to the Braves? Ouch. Either way I'm not salty just one game. Work treated us a few people got tickets to the game rest of us plebs got free starbucks pizza and hot dogs. Eh, it's something plus on friday we could wear our swag.

Fun fact too, Yankees comeback win was largest come back since 1950... they won in 1950. Garret is already on IL, thats what killed em last year. I assume it's a fluke I think they will be strong AF this year.

Any other teams you want to hear about my retarded 2 pennies?
 
On Tuesday, there will be a refendum in Jackson County, MO, on whether to continue having a sales tax to fund the Chiefs' and Royals' Stadiums. The front offices are threatening to move the team if it doesn't pass; either to North KC, the Kansas side, or even to another city.

What a bunch of blackmailing Jews. There's literally nothing wrong with Kauffman that can't be fixed by routine maintenance. Tearing it down should be a non-starter.

Also, git gud, you can't become worth watching on Bobby Witt alone.

They've also been trying to foist kickyball on us, since we're hosting the 2026 World Cup. This is a baseball and football town, faggots.
 
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The Brewers swept the Mets in the opening series... LOL; LMAO, even.

(Don't worry, Mets fan, they can't lose all 162, no matter how hard they try.)
 
Excited for the Braves hot start but it would have been GODDAMN NICE TO SEE THIS IN THE PLAYOFFS LAST YEAR.

Didn't win yesterday but Sale already looks better than he did in Boston, at least. Hope the wheels don't fall off until after the All-Star break with him.
 
After the opening series against the Athletics, I feel pretty good about my Guardians. Plate discipline has GREATLY improved and I think once we start to gel, we could be a decent team. I did question Vogt's lineup decisions, especially taking Jose Ramirez out of the 3-hole, but having a manager that is willing to change things up is refreshing. I loved Tito, but he really did stay too long and things were too predictable.
 
I told you the Rays were dead. I watched a bunch of left handed whos shit the bed. I know I beat the Luke Raley trade to death but he's miles ahead of these bums. Randy Arrozarena will force a trade this season I'm sure
 

If I were a Little League umpire, I would eject the first kid who flips his bat. Back in my day (the mid-aughts), you could get ejected for throwing your bat even accidentally.

I'd also love to look one of those shithead baseball parents in the eye and tell them their kid is not the next Manny Machado, just to watch the sparks fly.

And while I'm being a crotchety old sourpuss: the Savannah Bananas are obnoxious faggots. Bananaball may have some fun rules, but they're eclipsed by their games being clown shows.

AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE UNWRITTEN RULES!?
 
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Meat Target said:

If I were a Little League umpire, I would eject the first kid who flips his bat. Back in my day (the mid-aughts), you could get ejected for throwing your bat even accidentally.

I'd also love to look one of those shithead baseball parents in the eye and tell them their kid is not the next Manny Machado, just to watch the sparks fly.
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Come on, dude. This is a game for kids. Always has been, always will be. These kids are, what, 12? 13 at most? If I saw this kind of behavior at the collegiate or minor league level, I'd absolutely tell them to get off my diamond and head to the clubhouse. But these kids are playing for love of the game and pure fun. Let 'em celebrate when things go their way. I used to be a volunteer umpire for a local 16U league and those kids are just there to have fun. I ended up throwing out more managers and parents than I did players. Let 'em play and leave 'em alone unless they're being blatantly bad sportsmen. The end of the video clearly shows the respect those kids have for #99 and even their manager went out to talk to the kid about his performance. That is what we need at this level of the game.

As far as parents go, I hate them. Being an umpire taking abuse from some 40 year old semi-alcoholic dad who thinks his sperm has produced the next Ted Williams was fucking terrible. I can't stand parents who live vicariously through their children in order to feel a semblance of success. But if my kid was at this level and performing well, I'll be damned if I wouldn't be cheering him on as hard as I could. Plus, look at all those hot baseball moms, you just know they can breed well.
 
Ohtani hits his first homer as a member of the Dodgers and they win 5-4 against the San Francisco Faggots.

His new interpreter may not have a gambling issue but his Japanese is apparently pretty fucking terrible (for an interpreter).
 
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