#BecauseofAmber - How has Amber inspired you?

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#becauseofamber I'm going to stop using tampons and pads and just free bleed everywhere

#becauseofamber I'm going to stop showering daily and just buy candles

#becauseofamber I'm going to never wash my sheets again

I know these aren't really deep. Some of you assholes are comedic geniuses and I fucking enjoy your company. #becauseofamber
 
I use my tongue as a more effective way to shovel mountains of food into my face #becauseofhamber.

#becauseofhamber I went back to dating men.
 
#becauseofamber I exercised today and made small gains to lose weight and be healthier.
 
Some wisdom I will always carry with me #BecauseofAmber is that people with rounder fatter faces look bad with short hair, because it makes their face look rounder and fatter
 
#becauseofamber i force my ex-girlfriends who have moved on to new relationships to sleep in my bed with me

#becauseofamber i maintain that my ex-girlfriend didn't cheat on me despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary

#becauseofamber i pay the rent for my ex-girlfriend's love nest so she can do clit stuff (and probably penetration) with a refrigerator
 
#becauseofamber, I learnt I have a period hole, and that target has the best black towels for hiding blood from said period hole. The ones from Walmart just haven't been cutting it.

#becauseofamber, I learned that dogs don't need walks, play time, affection or any sort of rudimentary vet care. Just toss a treat and go to Chili's! So much extra free time now.

#becauseofamber, I learned I can be a vile, manipulative back stabbing bitch, but those flaws will be over looked completely if I just misgender my ex one time.
 
#becauseofamber I learned that there's no need to shower after swimming in a toxic lake, nor change out of the clothes I was wearing when doing so.

#becauseofamber I learned that I can eat a crumble of meth.

#becauseofamber I learned that a gorl has never enough cheap jewelry.

#becauseofamber I learnet that I can write a novel as horrifically as I can and then say I was 17 while doing so to never own up to how untalented I actually am.
 
#BecauseOfAmber I burned down my house after one of my 15,872 scented candles caught my #LoveWins flag on fire. I tried putting it with the water from my Coldest Water Bottle™, which I had filled using 17 plastic water bottles when I woke up that afternoon, but by the time it got to the latest Torrid haul and the living room mattress it was just too late. Too bad I don't have insurance...

Anyway. Thanks, Amber!
 
#BecauseofAmber I ate the waitress at Cheesecake Factory alive while my special autistic son watched when she told me they no longer had orange chicken.
 
#becauseofamber I have stopped using the word "eaten" and I want everyone to know that I haven't ate yet today.
 
The only way this could get better is if we can get #BaldForAmber trending with the ambabies
 
#becauseofamber instead of renting a flat I prefer to find a bf/gf with a house that I can move into and live off
 
I stopped trying to lose weight after I found out you can hide 500 extra elbees with a neck-defining choker and 30 inches of dead hair #becauseofAmber
 
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