Bentley Emails: December 2013 - Updated/Fixed

[Uzumaki]

The only "research" I did was to take a good look at the real Rebeckah's Facebook profile. I genuinely have an interest in comedy and a lot of the "classic" shows are mentioned are shows I actually enjoy (Soap especially). I am also a huge Bill Hicks (RIP) fan.

Well, like I said, you have excellent taste in comedy. I am, of course, the final arbiter of this so my opinion is highly relevant.

Bill Hicks is like every stand-up comedian's idol. He's like the comedy equivalent of a gunslinger; "Wild" Bill Hicks-ock.

OT - I love Carlin (who doesn't) Louis C.K. and Dennis Leary. If you're looking for something a little different, check out Tim Minchin

Tim Minchin is great, but Dennis Leary is a joke thief. He's actually most known for stealing from Bill Hicks.

Edit: Quick example because that's a heavy accusation: while talking about smoking "I go through two (pause) lighters a day."

Edit Edit: Holy crap, if you open the "joke theft" entry in Wikipedia, it literally has a section on Leary. If you look up joke thief in the dictionary it has his picture.

 

[BillRiley]

Going to be honest, given the way he dresses, he's pretty lucky if he's only getting ignored. I couldn't see him handling jeering and catcalls very well.

I'm not entirely sure if Chris would know it when it happened.

That part of the emails confuses me a little. He complains that no one will leave him alone, and then he complains that he's being ignored all the time. What is it he actually wants? Is he expecting the world to be like some cornball movie where the townspeople all greet him cheerfully while he waddles around on his daily errands? Is he angry because women aren't polite enough to pretend they find him attractive in the street?

Well, as near as I can tell, he want's his life to go back to what he thinks it was in high school. Back then, girls actually did go up to him and offer to be his friend. He didn't know at the time that daddy had gone to the principal and "negotiated" (or, more probably, threatened to sue) Chris some gal-pals. Teachers no doubt greeted him cheerfully as he waddled from class to class. They did that because, well, he's one of the special kids and that's what one does. In general, I think Chris-Tran wants live in an insular little world where he has a comfortable routine, nothing ever changes and the days and weeks just kind of float by in an autistic haze.

And, of course, that's never going to happen.

 

[Atlas 95]

I think Chris-Tran wants live in an insular little world where he has a comfortable routine, nothing ever changes and the days and weeks just kind of float by in an autistic haze.

And, of course, that's never going to happen.

Sadly I think prison is the only place Chris could reasonably experience all of that. The routine might not be as comfortable as Chris wants but it's a routine he's been missing for years

 

[ToroidalBoat]

In general, I think Chris-Tran wants live in an insular little world where he has a comfortable routine, nothing ever changes and the days and weeks just kind of float by...

Are you familiar with "The Nexus" from that one Star Trek movie? The Nexus would be like eternal high school days to Chris.

Is he expecting the world to be like some cornball movie where the townspeople all greet him cheerfully while he waddles around on his daily errands?

I also think that's exactly what Chris wants. But people don't do that, no doubt in part due to Chris' appearance and mannerisms, so he rants on how the people living in the Charlottesville and Ruckersville area are "snobbish." One of the earlier rants by Chris complains that only significantly older people greeted him at church, for example.

 

[P-Logic]

Damn, these emails are sad.

A lot of Chris's problems are his own fault, but he never really had a chance to live a good life.

I know a lot of people who are angry with Chris, and a lot of Chris trolls, are autistic or disabled people who have made the most of their lives. And maybe Chris could have lived a life like yours, if he had your sense.

But for those of us who were lucky enough to be able bodied and able minded, these emails are just a reminder of how Chris never had the chance to have lives like ours.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

But for those of us who were lucky enough to be able bodied and able minded, these emails are just a reminder of how Chris never had the chance to have lives like ours.

He could never have a normal life, but he could easily be much more than he is now.

 

[P-Logic]

He could never have a normal life, but he could easily be much more than he is now.

He could be more than he is now, but I dunno about "much more". He could be physically fit, with a normal haircut and clothing, and working in a minimum wage job, but that's not really all that much more than he is now. He'd still be sad and lonely.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

He could be more than he is now, but I dunno about "much more". He could be physically fit, with a normal haircut and clothing, and working in a minimum wage job, but that's not really all that much more than he is now. He'd still be sad and lonely.

I'm not talking about polishing a turd. I'm talking about having realistic goals and priorities. This isn't a black and white issue. There is a huge gray area between sitting in his goblin hole watching cartoons, and marrying a super model who will do all of the work for him and give him sex time.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

In my home town, there was a guy with Down Syndrome who worked as a cart-wrangler at the grocery store, was an altar server at his church, and was an assistant Cub Scout leader.

If Chris could even be bothered to go out and volunteer at a homeless shelter one day a week, that would provide an instant community with the other volunteers. Or Chris could go to the church that showed the movie about the lesbian singer and have a weekly chat at coffee time.

Chris just wants to take without giving anything in return, and Chris wants everything delivered with zero effort expended on Chris's part. Life does not actually work like that.

 

[P-Logic]

In my home town, there was a guy with Down Syndrome who worked as a cart-wrangler at the grocery store, was an altar server at his church, and was an assistant Cub Scout leader.

Does he have a girlfriend? Because that is the only thing Chris wants.

Presumably that guy with Down Syndrome likes helping people and generally feeling useful. Chris doesn't. Those just aren't his values. Even if Chris forced himself to be a part of the community like the DS guy, he'd still be miserable.

Maybe Chris would be better off with Down Syndrome. His additional IQ points just seem to get him into trouble, and curse him with the awareness of just how badly off he is.

 

[KillerKarlKox]

I think the strangest thing is Chris recognizes his life being bad, and wonders how it got to that point. But is unable to recognize that he is at fault for most to all of the issues in life. His mom and him wouldn't be drowning in debt if they didn't prolong the Synder Trial, their debt is directly their fault, but Snyder gets the blame because he wanted financial compensation for injuries caused by Chris and his mom. The cluttered house is because of all the barbage that Chris isn't willing to get rid of or even talk to Barb about. The dead end life, is simply by refusal to improve anything. He could attempt to get a job, do volunteer work, not coop himself up all day. A job isn't going to just fall into your lap, you have to make things happen. We all know his standards for a girlfriend are far to high, its even pointed out in these emails, but he refuses to changes those, nor improve anything about his own life.

The answer to how is this my life always is, because you made it that way. There is so much that he could change, but after a decade of people telling him that, he's still wondering why his life is like this. Nothing is going to change him, and that makes it really scary.

 

[mlane]

"you still have a chance staying on my side (I was not certain how to better word that, and I think I could have worded it better)"

I'm impressed that Chris recognized that that is a shitty way to word that, yet unimpressed that he didn't just reword it instead of telling her he probably ought to reword it. Still he seems a lot more reasonable here than he does lately. Reasonable for Chris I mean.

 

[Kosher Dill]

If Chris could even be bothered to go out and volunteer at a homeless shelter one day a week

... he'd wonder why people keep handing him bowls of soup.

 

[P-Logic]

The cluttered house is because of all the barbage that Chris isn't willing to get rid of or even talk to Barb about.

His mother is a mental case. She can't be reasoned with about the hoard. And the last time Chris tried to get rid of her garbage, she threw an incredible shit fit and threatened to kill herself if he did it again. To characterize it as Chris being too lazy to clean up or talk things through with his mother is inaccurate.

A job isn't going to just fall into your lap, you have to make things happen.

Chris doesn't want a job. The only time he's ever spoken about a desire to have a job is when he thinks it will help him get a girlfriend. He's not miserable because he's unemployed, or because he's low status. He's miserable because he doesn't have a girlfriend.

We all know his standards for a girlfriend are far to high, its even pointed out in these emails, but he refuses to changes those

Chris doesn't make realistic demands. He asks for the thing he'd ideally want. It's like when he asked for the $1000 for his porno collection, no haggle. In reality, he'll accept much less. Just look at the very overweight young lady that he went on that date with, the one Kim Wilson arranged. And I dunno if you've ever seen a photo of "The Wallflower", but she literally looks like she is severely inbred. And the troll who played "Kacey" was a disgusting fat disaster, who actually looks a lot like Chris when he's wearing women's clothing.

His standards aren't the problem. Chris will never get any girlfriend. To say his standards are holding him back from true love is ridiculous.

 

[timtommy]

He could be more than he is now, but I dunno about "much more". He could be physically fit, with a normal haircut and clothing, and working in a minimum wage job, but that's not really all that much more than he is now. He'd still be sad and lonely.

But that is what Chris wants. Not what he says he wants, but what makes him happiest. A minimum wage job would give him routine and connection with the world. It would give him some real responsibilities he could take ownership and pride in, without putting too much pressure on him. It would give him a little extra income to buy a few more of the toys he loves. It would give him a respectable sense of identity and real ties to a legitmate entity. It would give him a casual circle of acquaintances he could chat to on a daily basis and maybe go out for a drink with every now and then, without the pressure and responsibilities of meaningful relationships.

So I think Chris has all of the tools to live the life that would make him happiest. That life might seem a little sad to some people, but for Chris it would be pretty nice. His biggest problem is that he refuses to do it, largely because he deludes himself about what he wants.

 

[butt in trouble]

Chris' main problem is that he always he always comes off as aggressive and mean-spirited without even trying. He goes on unrelated rants about the gameplace, MALES, homos and the Hex-Box and gets pretty nasty about those topics. And whenever he's called out on his behavior he always responds with something to the effect of "But I was trolled!"
He literally thinks that because bad things have happened to him before it's impossible for him to ever be the bad guy.

 

[P-Logic]

A minimum wage job would give him routine and connection with the world. It would give him some real responsibilities he could take ownership and pride in, without putting too much pressure on him. It would give him a little extra income to buy a few more of the toys he loves. It would give him a respectable sense of identity and real ties to a legitmate entity. It would give him a casual circle of acquaintances he could chat to on a daily basis and maybe go out for a drink with every now and then, without the pressure and responsibilities of meaningful relationships.

I commend your optimism (and enjoy your posts in general, btw) but I'm going to have to disagree with you here. I honestly don't think he would take any pride in his work. He'd just see it as a huge hassle. And I don't think he'd make friends at work. If you want to see the vicious opinions that minimum wage workers have about Chris, there are no doubt plenty of examples on this board.

 

[harvey dirdban]

He can't legally say Snyder's name? That's new.

& A+ on the Soap recommendation

 

[BIG DADDY]

Does he have a girlfriend? Because that is the only thing Chris wants.

See, but that's something that he has control over. A lot of people have to learn to be happy in life without a SO. Chris is obsessive, so that's what he thinks he wants, and is too myopic to realize life is bigger than this one goal. It's the same for the blue arms thing. He hyperfocuses on something he can't change and then is miserable when it doesn't pan out for him. He could be happy in life if he focused on what he could control instead, and re-evaluated what he would actually make him happy (as far as I can tell about life, 90% of what makes anybody happy is being productive). He's the kind of guy who, if he got a hot, rich girlfriend tomorrow, would be happy for a while, and then be miserable again within a year because of some other thing he's not getting but thinks he's entitled to in life. Also, he probably could actually have found a girlfriend if he didn't make such bad choices in life all the time.

And having a girlfriend isn't all he wants; he also wants to be magically made a woman as well. I think at this point that's almost as high up there on his wish list, in addition to the recall of blue arms, death to trolls, collecting all the LEGO, etc. etc.

 

[Dudeofteenage]

I will say this for Chris - he's right about "The Marine Biologist" being a good episode.