Best lolcow threads?

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I’ve been enjoying the Jerry Preet thread because I’m a bit of a comics sperg and I like keeping tabs on the development of Jerry’s.
I also like the Assigned Male thread because the comic is pretty much the definition of Poe’s Law at this point.
And, just for some nostalgia I’ve been going over threads of dudes from my early days on the Internet. Just for old times sake. AnimatedJames, mostly. He was my first, after all.
 
The Jack Scalfani/Cooking with Jack thread is great. It documents the downward spiral and slow death of a mentally disabled person. It's a train wreck in slow motion.
 
The Europa Universalis of subcommunities is the Munchies one, since it deals with people competing to be as life-threateningly disabled as possible, plus a load who are faking it, and working out who over the coming years is insane enough to accidentally kill themselves is pretty amazing. Kelly is one particularly intense example.

If you want a good old-fashioned shitshow, the pedo grooming genie is finally out of the bottle with Onision and his gf.
 
The Leah Tverly thread is a personal favourite of mine when it comes to dramacows just because she's possibly hated by everyone except her own niche and extremely tolerant circle, plus she just has an extremely unappealing face, regardless of how she slaughters her hair on the reg.
 
In Beauty Parlor, there’s a thread for Mermaid Queen Jude. She’s one of the most entitled cows out there. She identifies as a queer, fat, latinx witch as well. She’s a pretty recent addition to the Farms. You might get MOTI reading her thread though. It’s pretty easy to do.
 
I enjoy watching Luna Slater's spiral. It's fairly active with updates every few days. If attention whore parents that purposely have and keep severely disabled children to garner attention and sympathy online intrigue you, the Tard Baby General thread is interesting.
 
Tryphaena said:
I enjoy watching Luna Slater's spiral. It's fairly active with updates every few days. If attention whore parents that purposely have and keep severely disabled children to garner attention and sympathy online intrigue you, the Tard Baby General thread is interesting.
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Speaking of Tard Babies, Gwen Hartley and her Hooligans is also worth a read.
 
CivilianOfTheFandomWars said:
I’ve been enjoying the Jerry Preet thread because I’m a bit of a comics sperg and I like keeping tabs on the development of Jerry’s.
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The Jerry Peet thread always has the same people posting on it...and they never post anywhere else in the site, but everyone is quite aware that Jerry Peet is one of the worst lolcows (worst as in terms of how they present themselves as people) on the site in terms of their overall activity. I'm not sure why the only people that lurk that thread are unpopular posters who don't really do much else.
 
The Pink Panther said:
The Jerry Peet thread always has the same people posting on it...and they never post anywhere else in the site, but everyone is quite aware that Jerry Peet is one of the worst lolcows (worst as in terms of how they present themselves as people) on the site in terms of their overall activity. I'm not sure why the only people that lurk that thread are unpopular posters who don't really do much else.
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Yeah, I'm mainly there for the comic. It's just fascinating from a literary standpoint in all of the wrong ways.
 
Misty Ray Henry! Start from the start; cow crossover and relative spilling tea. Second on Luna Slater as I have feels for her, Russell Greer and Lucas Werner are both like zits about to pop lol... I have many open tabs
 
If you like laughing at antisocial shut-ins October is the one month the Dobson thread is worth following since every year he tries to do Inktober. I say ‘tries’ because he doesn’t follow any of the guidelines, predraws multiple pieces and a lot of his results make people angry to the point where if I didn’t know better I’d say they were intentional trolls.

Interested in watching narcissistic collapses play out in real time? Onision’s thread is interesting recently as basically every ex he’s ever had has decided to simultaneously metoo him. Also his state-imposed deadline to fix the acre of wetlands he destroyed is coming up at the end of the month and he’s yet to do anything about it. Either of these seems like it could turn into a massive meltdown at any time.
 
My favourite is Jake Alley in the Rat King. The basic hook is that he wants to be an influential Twitter troon, but is a stereotypical basement-dwelling middle-aged neckbeard. He claims to be trans, but hasn’t made even a token effort to transition and in fact has a beard straight out of Tolkien.

The backstory is that he was one of Zoe Quinn’s orbiters during Gamergate and thought it was his key to fame, fortune and losing his virginity. Zoe dropped him as soon as he stopped being useful and he spent the next half-decade wailing about it, alternating between character assassination and demanding that she come back to him. In the meantime, he drove the few friends he had away with his neediness, lies and mean-spiritedness.

What makes him a great lolcow is how unbelievably naive he is, yet how convinced he is that he’s the world’s smartest motherfucker. He’ll go on a long, smug rant about biology, sex, literature or whatever and get every single point hilariously wrong. He lies all the time to cover up the self-imposed shittiness of his existence, but contradicts himself constantly. And he can’t do anything for himself - he even relies on his mom for grocery shopping.

He also hits that sweet spot where he’s too ineffective to be enraging, but he has no disability or mental illness to account for his failure to launch.
 
Tragi-Chan said:
He also hits that sweet spot where he’s too ineffective to be enraging, but he has no disability or mental illness to account for his failure to launch.
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Also he's exactly pathetic enough to be hilarious, while being exactly enough of an asshole to be completely guilt free about mocking someone so pathetic you'd otherwise feel somewhat sorry for him. He's almost the perfect lolcow that way.

He has something of the repetitiveness of a Bob Chipman or Andrew Dobson, but without actually being as enraging or as boring as either of them, and somehow being even more of a failure than either of them as well.
 
I'm a fairly new member, although quite a seasoned lurker, which i have done a couple years, i still don't yet know all cows nor members (obviously as i have only just become one)

So, i thought i would ask everyone-Who is or was (if they are now deceased) your absolute favourite lolcow?
i'm intrigued, plus it'l give me ideas what threads to check out.

My personal favourite is Luna, whom i have been watching for around two years.

Who is yours? 🐄
 
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