Best shortest joke

[AnOminous]

Writing is generally better when concise. You should use as few words as possible, and those words should be accessible to anyone, unless you are being deliberately obscure, which there are valid reasons for being, but that's an exception to a general rule. Language should communicate. Since we don't have telepathy, thoughts have to be translated from abstraction to a series of letters, then demodulated back into thought on the other side, imperfectly.

Language is like a really shitty modem for brains to communicate.

Anyway, what I would call high bandwidth jokes. Short words. Maybe even no words.

Starting example:

"Damn your eyes!" "Too late."

 

[obliviousbeard]

Null

 

[Rumpled Foreskin]

Spoiler: Want to hear a joke?

O’Duol’s

 

[Carlos Thin]

Ah yeah, so I just recently been introduced to this uh, autistic, uh, boy- this autistic teenage boy here. And uh, and we sai- you know, I was introduced, so he opened up to me right away. And then I- and then- later, like I- later at this picnic, this community picnic, he uh, I see him- I see him- I see him over there and he wants to find- he wants to meet himself a lady, so he's hanging out over there. And I don't see him talking to the ladies, he just uh, he's just uh, smiling and being silent. I mean, he ain't gonna go anywhere unless he talks to- unless he talks to ladies, but then again that's part of the autism right there. He just tends to blank out when he's not introduced to people. Because he's scared of the uh, unknown. That's very common amongst the autistic people. And I'll tell you something else. Today's society where everybody is glued to their computers and Internet and all that, they're definitely closing themselves off from society. It's like they're becoming autistics themselves. I mean, if they're definitely not glued in front of their computer they're definitely about as blank as that au- that little teenage boy was.

 

[Shig O'nella]

"Hi!"

"Not yet."

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Trans rights.

 

[thegooddoctor]

‘Knock knock’


´Go away’.

 

[Lady Rackets Ass]

Spoiler: Want to hear a joke?

O’Duol’s

On a similar note women’s rights

To make my own contribution if you beat your wife in a foreign country is it still domestic violence?

 

[The Cunting Death]

My life

 

[Whatevermancer]

A bear was walking through a forest when he saw a car on fire. He got inside and burned to death.

 

[Ibisanzwe]

A jew, a black guy and a mexican walk into a bar, and the bartender says "get out".

 

[Shidoen]

Anal Rape

 

[Shidoen]

On a similar note women’s rights

To make my own contribution if you beat your wife in a foreign country is it still domestic violence?

Sometimes you need a vacation to avoid working from home.

 

[Meiwaku]

Sayings/ wisdom jokes:

How do you make a million bucks farming? Start with two million

The Masochist says "punish me" the Sadist says "no".

Sex is like a bridge game, you don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

--
Courtesy of the book "Truly Tasteless Jokes" by Blanche Knott some of these can be interchanged for whatever demographic you are offending today :

What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac

Why do Italian men have mustaches?
So they can look like their mothers

What do you get when you cross a Pollock and a Chicano?
A kid who spray paints his name on chain link fences

So what are the first three words of Puerto Rican kid learns?
"Attention K-Mart Shoppers...."

What's an innuendo?
An Italian suppository

How do you get 40 Haitians in a shoe box?
Tell them it floats.

Why don't Puerto Ricans like blowjobs?
They are afraid it will interfere with their unemployment benefits

How come the Mexican army only used 600 soldiers at the Alamo?
They only had two cars.

What is black and shines in the dark?
Oakland, California

What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through 50 ft of garden hose?
Darling

Why does it take women longer to climax?
Who cares?

How do you identify a bull dyke?
She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons

What did Jesus say to Mary while he was on the cross?
"Can you get my flats? these spikes are absolutely killing me!"

Why didn't Jesus to go college?
He got hung up on his boards

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind before hitting the windshield at 80 mph?
Its asshole

What do you get when you breed a monkey with a Tranny?
Nothing, a monkey is way too smart to fuck a Tranny.

How do you save a drowning Jew?
You say you don't know? Good...good...

How was the grand canyon formed?
Jew dropped a quarter down a gopher hole

And how was the copper wire invented?
Two jews got into a fight over a penny

What do you call a Jewish woman's nipple?
Tip of the Iceberg

What did the Jewish woman make for dinner?
Reservations

What do you call 10,000 dead trannies at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Ethan Ralph.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

You know the pizza delivery guy is a drummer if the knock on the door is offbeat.

 

[Daniel Wallace]

For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.

Wait, wrong thread.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

How many black people does it take to start a riot?
-1

 

[DoomsdayElite]

How do you fit 50 Jews into one car?
In the ashtray.

What do you say to a nigger in uniform?
I'd like a Big Mac and large Coke.

How do you make a nigger nervous?
Start talking like an auctioneer.

What's the difference between a nigger and a bicycle?
The bike doesn't start singing once you wrap a chain around it.

How long does it take for a nigger woman to take a shit?
Nine months.

Why do niggers have white palms?
Because there's some good in everyone.

Why do niggers have red eyes after sex?
The pepper spray.

Why don't niggers have dreams?
Because the last one who did got shot.

 

[David Brown]

Sneed