Best way to torture Chris Chan

[Epic Fail Man]

Many people want to see unfortunate things happen to Chris so I'm making this thread for talking about our favorite torture methods for Chris to endure. I'll start with mine.

• Take Chris's toys and wave them around when you visit him. And play with them the way he thinks they are "not supposed to be played with" and then make a nasty face at him and run away with his toys dropping some and not picking them up.

• Make him watch My Little Pony generation 5 every day in his cell. Pay the cellmates to talk about how good it is and how gen 4 is shit.

• Waterboarding.

 

[Ramborambo]

Tell him Sonic's redesign in Sonic Boom was the best version of Sonic and the blue arms were long overdue.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Tell him Sonic was a Mario clone

 

[Pringles Can]

Have the newest lego sets so close that Chris can almost get it, but he never is able to grab it. Same with mlp crap.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

"SONIC IS DEAD!"

[throws pennies]

 

[Thumb Butler]

Restricting access to his plastic toys and his big toy (Barb).

 

[Kornula]

Call Chris "Him/He/His/Sir"

 

[I Love Beef]

Because someone had insight about Chris is really a fucking sicko rapist, I'd hire a sexy woman who is skilled at martial arts or self defense, have her strip tease him or lap dance, and if he tries to get touchy feely, the woman then proceeds to pig stick him before kicking him until he is unconscious. Like with what Nomi Malone did in Showgirls. We'd have him restrained, but free enough to think he has space to move around. That or we'll have long cow prods on poles to shock treatment him with.

Repeat daily until he learns about why women are not his toys to do as he will.

 

[Dona Morte]

Show him gay porn.

 

[michael_bruh]

Call him naive

 

[Positron]

Let him be himself.

 

[Dufe]

Call him naive

Y'all just... Crossed a line.

 

[JamusActimus]

cure his autism and give him self awareness

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Tell him that Miyamoto was real and it was someone at Nintendo of America HQ trolling him with that letter.

 

[Empty 12-gauge]

A-loggy thread name, but not too bad.

Feed him nothing but salads, always with pickles added.
Also, play binaural beats to make you manlier at all times.

 

[$5.3 Million Dollars]

Tell him he's acting like a white niggo.

 

[Xenomorph]

Court is already doing it by making Troon Chan stomp their feet like a baby in court.

 

[Orangutans]

Erase Sonic from existence.

 

[SomethingWittyandBadass]

Give his shit away to the kids who actually would like it.

 

[KittyGremlin]

make him get a job