Biggest bullshit in a video game

[Mary the Goldsmith]

Enemies that don't stagger and continue attacking like nothing despite being hit with great force, let me give a few examples:

The dogs and wolves in Ass Creed Valhalla will continue attacking you and their attacks wont be interrupted at all despite you clubbing them in the head with a mace.
High level enemies in the Avengers game also don't even react to getting pummeled by the fucking Hulk and will continue to attack, even if they are just normal ass humans with sci-fi guns they wont react and continue shooting because they have shields or whatever.

 

[The Last Stand]

In GTA 3, when you use a rocket launcher, pedestrians swarm and beat you up. You can't run with it so you're just limbering around with it. That makes a couple rampages difficult. Try to shoot at the peds wanting to beat you up, you may damage or kill yourself in the blast radius.

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

In GTA 3, when you use a rocket launcher, pedestrians swarm and beat you up. You can't run with it so you're just limbering around with it. That makes a couple rampages difficult. Try to shoot at the peds wanting to beat you up, you may damage or kill yourself in the blast radius.

Get to higher ground before you fire your first shot.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

I would rather have a loading screen that those bullshit sections where your character walks at a slower pace and talks on the radio or has to squeeze through some rocks at a crawl

This. One thousand times, this.

 

[Cats]

I hate how when I kill the sims I have made that represent people in my life, those people don't also die.

 

[Marissa Moira]

I hate how when I kill the sims I have made that represent people in my life, those people don't also die.

Turn yourself into a sim and then kill your family in game.

 

[NerdShamer]

Get to higher ground before you fire your first shot.

I do this out of boredom in Liberty City Stories. It breaks the AI so much that the only thing that shoots at me is the chopper that I also shoot down out of boredom.

 

[Urbanmech]

This was the most useless guide book to ever exist, even MMO guide books at least at one point were a guide to the game. This thing was just one big "Go use the code and use the website to get answers" book. "Enhanced by PlayOnline.com" was a severe understatement.

 

[Ruin]

Lady Butterfly just made me uninstall Sekiro. I'm not having fun anymore.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

This was the most useless guide book to ever exist, even MMO guide books at least at one point were a guide to the game. This thing was just one big "Go use the code and use the website to get answers" book. "Enhanced by PlayOnline.com" was a severe understatement.

View attachment 2717200

And this came out during a time when internet access was still sporadic at best.

 

[Bunny Tracks]

So you wanna get the true ending in Persona 5 Royal? Well, guess what? In order to do that, in addition to all the other bullshit you have to do, you also have to beat the final boss within a random unspecified time limit, or else he one-hit kills you.

Oh, and he's strong, and bulky af, and his entire strategy involves walling up, and inflicting status conditions on you that prevent you from attacking, and healing yourself.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

Was Playing a dreamcast emulator and had to use virtual memory cards. Cue flashbacks of certain games taking an obscene amount of space on the card and having to delete other games off it. I know it's an issue across the board but the dreamcast always seemed the most egregious to me.

 

[Kulee Baba]

I would rather have a loading screen that those bullshit sections where your character walks at a slower pace and talks on the radio or has to squeeze through some rocks at a crawl. We all know that those are loading screens, it does nothing to change the immersion. Just slap up a loading screen with a fun in-game fact or a little interactive icon and then drop me back in the game when it's done loading. Making me hold up on the controller or W is just punishment. At least with a loading screen I can go and make myself a drink because I'm not chained to my controller/keyboard

This fucker is soy as soy can be but he did make an excellent video on how well executed Dead Space 2 is.

This is why devs think it's a great idea to hide loading screens and it makes sense if they can achieve it what Dead Space 2 did. Most to my knowledge don't achieve it. God of War Reboot was promoted hard by Sony Santa Monica for having nearly the whole game just being seemless but when you change Kratos's equipment the game has to go to a standard menu system so that right there breaks the flow. Final Fantasy 7 Remake wanted to do this too so Cloud has to squeeze through rocks & since it's still a FF game the player needs to go through menus selecting various upgrade & sidegrade doodads.

It ultimately only makes real sense if they can pull off what Dead Space 2 did. Thankfully though with modern & upcoming hardware trying to cover loading screens should be a thing of the past.

 

[Pig Boss]

Was Playing a dreamcast emulator and had to use virtual memory cards. Cue flashbacks of certain games taking an obscene amount of space on the card and having to delete other games off it. I know it's an issue across the board but the dreamcast always seemed the most egregious to me.

Counterbalanced by being able to take my Chao on long walks in the park, though.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

This fucker is soy as soy can be but he did make an excellent video on how well executed Dead Space 2 is.

This is why devs think it's a great idea to hide loading screens and it makes sense if they can achieve it what Dead Space 2 did. Most to my knowledge don't achieve it. God of War Reboot was promoted hard by Sony Santa Monica for having nearly the whole game just being seemless but when you change Kratos's equipment the game has to go to a standard menu system so that right there breaks the flow. Final Fantasy 7 Remake wanted to do this too so Cloud has to squeeze through rocks & since it's still a FF game the player needs to go through menus selecting various upgrade & sidegrade doodads.

It ultimately only makes real sense if they can pull off what Dead Space 2 did. Thankfully though with modern & upcoming hardware trying to cover loading screens should be a thing of the past.

I'd argue that a game based on tension that hides loading like Dead Space did should continue doing so because it helped the atmosphere.

 

[Juke and Jam]

Enemies that don't stagger and continue attacking like nothing despite being hit with great force, let me give a few examples:

The dogs and wolves in Ass Creed Valhalla will continue attacking you and their attacks wont be interrupted at all despite you clubbing them in the head with a mace.
High level enemies in the Avengers game also don't even react to getting pummeled by the fucking Hulk and will continue to attack, even if they are just normal ass humans with sci-fi guns they wont react and continue shooting because they have shields or whatever.

Related to this, I'll call out enemies or mechanics that stun the player character too often. The reason why I think this can be even worse, is the negative impact on gamefeel. Robbing the controls away from the player, even if it's just for a second or two, creates an annoying disconnection. Doing it repeatedly is just terrible. I love Synthetik, but it has one of the worst cases of this I have ever seen. Hitting a mine, or getting slapped by an area effect that slows you down is fine, but way too often you just get dazed and have to stand in place for far too long, getting hit. That bad feel is further amplified by it's juxtaposition to the otherwise brilliant, fast, RNG-based, hectic gameplay. The game is saved by its short roguelike nature, where getting killed is not such a big deal and starting over is not a massive hurdle. Many other titles are not as lucky.

 

[The Last Stand]

Halo Infinite's progression system. In most games, you earn experience through kills, medals, objectives, etc. In Infinite, you can only gain experience through completing RNG challenges. It can make the grind longer than it needs to be.

 

[The Ugly One]

N64 analog sticks in general are fucked. Because it's basically plastic grinding on more plastic, these things have a far more limited shelf life than the PS1 controller. Mine has a deadzone that takes up most of the pad so if I want my character to run at full speed I have to jam forward really hard. Not to mention, the sticks are needlessly sharp so if you are doing anything like spinning the stick or jamming it forward, that shit's gonna hurt after a while. There's a reason you needed gloves to play Mario Party 1.

You're really better off getting a replacement stick or at least one that doesn't physically hurt to play.

I'm a big fan of this:

https://www.amazon.com/Retro-Bit-Wireless-Controller-Nintendo-Raspberry/dp/B091QTLZ39

Basically uses a Gamecube stick. Hyperkin makes a similar controller for the N64, too. Both are good.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

I'm a big fan of this:

https://www.amazon.com/Retro-Bit-Wireless-Controller-Nintendo-Raspberry/dp/B091QTLZ39

Basically uses a Gamecube stick. Hyperkin makes a similar controller for the N64, too. Both are good.

I bought a Brawler64 controller not too long ago. I ended up liking it more than I thought I would. At least I can play my N64 games without developing blisters. I have thought of replacing the analog stick in my original controller outright, but I'm not too handy with tools.

 

[The Last Stand]

Skate 3 has loose physics and controls. It's not uncommon to fly off your skateboard trying to grind a rail or even traverse around the world. Good luck trying to kill the challenges. There's not enough precision to plan out events.