Biggest bullshit in a video game

[AnOminous]

People cry about easy bullshit all the time in this thread because face it you are children, you do not know true bullshit until you have played roguelikes and if you did not survive and win nethack without spoiling you are a pussy.

Okay, there's this puzzle in nethack where you may have spent months playing the game (where you instantly die at any point and have to start from not just the beginning but a completely new beginning because the whole thing is randomly generated). There's a major point in the game called the castle where you are finally about to breach Gehennom. You're not really actually near winning at this point but you're probably impressed with yourself for even getting here.

Anyway, if you were smart, you paid attention to all kinds of hints and messages you got. There's apparently a way to get into the castle. There are a series of hints. Oh, it seems like the Mastermind game. Oh, you figured this shit out. You even brought a musical instrument with you. Finally you made it to the castle with your fucking flute or whatever.

And you triumphantly stand there and play your fucking pass tune.

And the drawbridge comes down and instantly fucking kills you you dumb motherfucker, don't you know drawbridges come down? Do you want your possessions identified?

Spoiler

Actually once you figure this out it's pretty cool though you can actually slam the drawbridge up and down and kill everything coming out. It still doesn't make up for the original assfuck.

I dare anyone to come up with bigger bullshit than almost anything in nethack.

 

[Ruin]

There's a miniboss right before the final boss in SMT Digital Devil Saga that has multiple AEO attacks all of which inflict all four status elements on all of your party members (berserk, confuse, sleep, poison) with 100% accuracy. in DDS there's no cureall/panacea item only items that cure specific ailments. Some party members can learn a skill that removes ailments but that doesn't help you if they get hit with confuse/sleep/berserk which they will because he uses it every turn.

I remember raging hard at this guy.

 

[H&K Hates You]

Hard/very hard story mode mission 7 in F-Zero GX. If this was QA'd then the QA testers were also abusing the physics engine to beat it.

Early copies of Gran Turismo 2 were rushed to meet the Xmas '99 launch date. Setting more than 8 records on the max speed test track will delete cars out of your garage or replace them with garbage/mislabeled cars. There's two different 295 HP limited races in career mode that the AI will ignore and enter a Ford GT40 and a Vector M12 into and wipe the floor with you and the other AI cars. Drag racing was removed at the last moment but wasn't removed from the progress screen tally, making it impossible to 100% the game.

Mario Super Sluggers has some insane endgame mission bullshit like "Play a 9 inning game in which you turn a triple play" or "Throw a no hitter".

 

[BrunoMattei]

People cry about easy bullshit all the time in this thread because face it you are children, you do not know true bullshit until you have played roguelikes and if you did not survive and win nethack without spoiling you are a pussy.

Okay, there's this puzzle in nethack where you may have spent months playing the game (where you instantly die at any point and have to start from not just the beginning but a completely new beginning because the whole thing is randomly generated). There's a major point in the game called the castle where you are finally about to breach Gehennom. You're not really actually near winning at this point but you're probably impressed with yourself for even getting here.

Anyway, if you were smart, you paid attention to all kinds of hints and messages you got. There's apparently a way to get into the castle. There are a series of hints. Oh, it seems like the Mastermind game. Oh, you figured this shit out. You even brought a musical instrument with you. Finally you made it to the castle with your fucking flute or whatever.

And you triumphantly stand there and play your fucking pass tune.

And the drawbridge comes down and instantly fucking kills you you dumb motherfucker, don't you know drawbridges come down? Do you want your possessions identified?

Spoiler

Actually once you figure this out it's pretty cool though you can actually slam the drawbridge up and down and kill everything coming out. It still doesn't make up for the original assfuck.

I dare anyone to come up with bigger bullshit than almost anything in nethack.

Post reads better when you imagine it being narrated by Grandpa Simpson.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

"Hi friend."

 

[Mooger Meng]

People cry about easy bullshit all the time in this thread because face it you are children, you do not know true bullshit until you have played roguelikes and if you did not survive and win nethack without spoiling you are a pussy.

Okay, there's this puzzle in nethack where you may have spent months playing the game (where you instantly die at any point and have to start from not just the beginning but a completely new beginning because the whole thing is randomly generated). There's a major point in the game called the castle where you are finally about to breach Gehennom. You're not really actually near winning at this point but you're probably impressed with yourself for even getting here.

Anyway, if you were smart, you paid attention to all kinds of hints and messages you got. There's apparently a way to get into the castle. There are a series of hints. Oh, it seems like the Mastermind game. Oh, you figured this shit out. You even brought a musical instrument with you. Finally you made it to the castle with your fucking flute or whatever.

And you triumphantly stand there and play your fucking pass tune.

And the drawbridge comes down and instantly fucking kills you you dumb motherfucker, don't you know drawbridges come down? Do you want your possessions identified?

Spoiler

Actually once you figure this out it's pretty cool though you can actually slam the drawbridge up and down and kill everything coming out. It still doesn't make up for the original assfuck.

I dare anyone to come up with bigger bullshit than almost anything in nethack.

Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup.
Roll up a new character, and the first room is 1) large and open, 2) stuffed with fast enemies, and 3) you set off an alarm trap trying to run, due to how the game rolls for traps every time you reveal a new tile.
Fuck off game, I just want to get a DrIE to Lair.

 

[Bender]

People cry about easy bullshit all the time in this thread because face it you are children, you do not know true bullshit until you have played roguelikes and if you did not survive and win nethack without spoiling you are a pussy.

Okay, there's this puzzle in nethack where you may have spent months playing the game (where you instantly die at any point and have to start from not just the beginning but a completely new beginning because the whole thing is randomly generated). There's a major point in the game called the castle where you are finally about to breach Gehennom. You're not really actually near winning at this point but you're probably impressed with yourself for even getting here.

Anyway, if you were smart, you paid attention to all kinds of hints and messages you got. There's apparently a way to get into the castle. There are a series of hints. Oh, it seems like the Mastermind game. Oh, you figured this shit out. You even brought a musical instrument with you. Finally you made it to the castle with your fucking flute or whatever.

And you triumphantly stand there and play your fucking pass tune.

And the drawbridge comes down and instantly fucking kills you you dumb motherfucker, don't you know drawbridges come down? Do you want your possessions identified?

Spoiler

Actually once you figure this out it's pretty cool though you can actually slam the drawbridge up and down and kill everything coming out. It still doesn't make up for the original assfuck.

I dare anyone to come up with bigger bullshit than almost anything in nethack.

Fuck that game, I spawned once and instantly died before I even had a chance to do anything.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

On the subject of roguelikes, it's complete bullshit when you literally cannot win because the game's randomness caused you to be unable to beat a challenge regardless of your skill level. The best example I played is FTL, where you can have a run where no store sells the higher grade weapons that are mandatory against the final boss. This just makes the roguelikes a glorified slot machine where you waste half an hour hoping to get the perfect run.

 

[Shield Breaker]

Post reads better when you imagine it being narrated by Grandpa Simpson.

I read all of his posts in John Goodman's voice.

 

[I can't imagine]

Holy shit.

My GF managed to corrupt up her Star Ocean 2 save by doing something with a GameShark. She didn't know it was corrupted until she finished the game, went back to complete that secret dungeon, got to the very end of it, and then every time she would start the last dungeon boss battle, the game would just freeze and reset itself. She has been bitter about this for at least a decade and a half.

I have no idea why she resorted to the GameShark in the first place, but if it turns out it was because she triggered that cutscene and didn't know what it did, I will laugh my ass off.

I don't think that was the GameShark that did it. SO2 is pretty infamous for crashing at a few points in the game, that one being one of the better known ones (mostly cuz you can't save in the bonus dungeon, so it's a really inopportune time to lose your progress). It happened to me when I played it back in the day, but didn't know it was a common problem till I watched a speedrun of it and the runner mentioned it was a known danger on runs that require the dungeon.

 

[Shield Breaker]

Holy shit.

My GF managed to corrupt up her Star Ocean 2 save by doing something with a GameShark. She didn't know it was corrupted until she finished the game, went back to complete that secret dungeon, got to the very end of it, and then every time she would start the last dungeon boss battle, the game would just freeze and reset itself. She has been bitter about this for at least a decade and a half.

I have no idea why she resorted to the GameShark in the first place, but if it turns out it was because she triggered that cutscene and didn't know what it did, I will laugh my ass off.

Game genie / shark was great for RPGs. You could basically use it like console commands in WRPGs.

 

[Sir Wesley Tailpipe]

Game genie / shark was great for RPGs. You could basically use it like console commands in WRPGs.

The best use of the Game Shark for PS1 is the gender swap code for the first Resident Evil. Seeing Chris with Jill’s idle animations is fucking hilarious.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

It's mostly jrpgs: Any game with heroine routes that expects you to decide the heroine before really knowing her character (for example, Ar Tonelico 2).

 

[Mooger Meng]

It's mostly jrpgs: Any game with heroine routes that expects you to decide the heroine before really knowing her character (for example, Ar Tonelico 2).

Jumping into a terrible idea with little-to-no information about the gravity of the mistake you're about to make? Maybe it should be called a



heroin route!

 

[fag0t]

Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup.
Roll up a new character, and the first room is 1) large and open, 2) stuffed with fast enemies, and 3) you set off an alarm trap trying to run, due to how the game rolls for traps every time you reveal a new tile.
Fuck off game, I just want to get a DrIE to Lair.

getting shafted 3 floors and then a few steps later it happens again for 3 more is always fun

 

[AnOminous]

Also in Nethack when you're on your way back up to the top of Gehennom with the Amulet, every time you go up a staircase, you can be randomly teleported down as many as 3 levels. If you're lawful this is even more likely. There is no limit to how many times this can happen. There are as many as 24 levels of Gehennom.

 

[Mooger Meng]

getting shafted 3 floors and then a few steps later it happens again for 3 more is always fun

Or, getting three-shafted, fighting your way back up to the floor you dropped from, then getting two-shafted, then one-shafted in LoS of the staircase. In fact, just how DCSS handles traps in general is exceptional.

For the uninitiated, roguelikes have traps strewn all about them, and Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup isn't any different - dicks everywhere, as it were. However, in most roguelikes, the traps exist as floor switches or physical objects of some sort that can be found before being set off by a properly prepared, observant, or paranoid player. For how much DCSS prides itself on being different, its trap mechanics follow suit: while there are some floor traps, the most common way you end up setting traps off is by sheer dint of random chance.
See, DCSS has a mechanic called "exploration traps", where every time you reveal a new tile, there is a chance you will set off a trap. Every tile. Yes, all of them, including that one over there, this one here, and especially all those ones around the staircase you just came down, haha fuck you. I'm not fully certain about the maths, since crunching numbers really isn't my forte, but the last time I looked in 0.24 the chance of an exploration trap firing off was some function of your XP level versus the value of the floor you are currently on, to try and keep a steady 1/9 or so chance to randomly [get dropped several floors/teleported into a pack of monsters/wake up everything on the floor that now knows exactly where you are].
How does one prevent this? Either don't fuck around filling out the map, or worship precisely one of the game's twenty-five gods. Yes, one - the game's god of divination prevents explore traps as a sign-on bonus. He also wants you wearing loads of cursed gear, because that's just how Ash rolls. Sure, the explore traps get less deadly as you go on, but that's small solace when you get dumped three floors down with no teleportation into a mob of things far above your ability to fight, or forcefully shunted into a room you'd been avoiding specifically because you know it's a treasure vault filled with out-of-depth enemies and you're not punching at the proper weight to survive.
This is the game that touts having an auto-explore mechanic to alleviate the tedium of filling the map out via hammering on your numpad the entire game. Yep, a system that punishes you for using the tool they were so goddamn happy about in the 0.1X versions. Thanks, assholes.

 

[JektheDumbass]

My first time playing Final Fantasy Tactics gave me hemorrhoids. I've since came back with a greater understanding of how the game works and made it my personal bitch, but I remember having to save every time I fucking moved because if I ran into random monsters they'd ram my shit in. I ragequit after getting eaten by chocobos for the 10th time and didn't pick it up for almost 15 years.

 

[AmarettoPie]

Neuron from UnEpic is still one of the greatest pieces of ultimate bullshit I've ever encountered in a boss. Psycho Mantis was clever because you dodged his psychic BS by changing the controller port. But Neuron? That oversized brain made entirely of dicks says, "Naw, fam. You ain't dodgin' SHIT."

Neuron straight-up takes control of your character, applies psychic poison, locks you in a looping animation of destroying ALL your resources in order from strongest to weakest, and then makes you teleport yourself clear across the fucking world. The teleport triggers the auto-save if you have it enabled, by the way, so that shit is GONE.

And did I also mention that he reflects all magic and arrows? Because he does, and if he doesn't make you teleport across the fucking world, he'll force you to kill yourself via reflected damage if you have the audacity to enter his room with anything ranged.

So you come back after a reset and dumping everything in the bank, because money and resources are a bitch to grind and you don't want to hunt down the random scavengers that'll snatch your shit if you just drop it. But even that's annoying as shit, because the brainy fuck decided to set up shop out in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere past a bunch of annoying knights and shit.

And in his boss room he floats two stories in the goddamn air. So you have to jump and climb your slow, clunky ass up to these stupid zip lines so you can smack him with your melee shit. Oh, and he also likes to reverse your controls, silence you, and apply the psychic poison while you're doing that, because fuck you in particular. And even though his sprite is massive, you can only hit his eye. And you can only hit his eye by letting go of the zip-line and hitting it, ONCE, as you fall past it and back into the bottom center of a room that's just big enough to piss you right the fuck off.

Fuck Neuron. Neuron isn't even hard. He's tedium incarnate, and the dev should be a-fucking-shamed. Because you KNOW that playtesters called that shit out, but the dev said, "lol! fuck your fun; I'm the cleverest ever!"

 

[The Last Stand]

Grand Theft Auto Online's bullshit AI. With every new update I swear it get's worse. Cars will drive into you for no reason, every single aggressive NPC is a goddamn bullet sponge aimbot and will instantly spawn 15 other friends once you even cough funny. It's one of the reasons they let you carry around healing items and instant armor in a GTA game. Every fucking idiots wants to do the missions on hard, which is fine for contact missions or earlier made content before they completely ruined the AI. The payout is much nicer on hard, but if it takes us two hours to do a mission on hard, then we should have done it on easy in about 15 minutes. That and the only thing the players care about is fucking money to buy their stupid flying cars and broomsticks.

That's not difficulty. That's cheap and outright cheating.

When you're playing co-op, and one of you messes up, back to the very beginning.