Biggest bullshit in a video game

[Vault Boy]

Before Final Fantasy VII Remake, who knew that pullups can be such a pain in the ass?

Not even talking about the Expert challenge, I can't for the life of me beat the Amateur challenge since my opponent moves so fucking fast and it's very easy to mistime my button presses (doesn't help that Tifa takes her sweet time getting back up if I mess up). Was this minigame some developer's idea for a cruel joke?

 

[Fields Of Rye]

Blood Borne is a pay to win game

Hear me out alright? This is gonna be fucking retarded. But I've been thinking about it for awhile. Just buckle up.

Game play loops in other souls like is explore -> Optimize -> Bossfight. Which in terms of dark souls 1 was run around the map, find a shortcut, find the boss, and kill the boss. Bloodborne introduces a simple "grind" mechanic into this with blood vials and bullets, two things that are naturally going to be consumed through basic progress.

This fact is part A. There exist a grind mechanic that exists to disrupt the standard loop. The currency is echoes, which manifests as vials and bullets. For most people, they will naturally consume these, run out, and have to farm them. If you don't look up where to farm, for example if you try to farm vial drops and not souls, this takes up a shocking amount of time.

Part B is how those vials are treated. You are not told how many vials or bullets you have in stash, meaning you have no way of knowing when you are going to be thrown back into the grind. You can check at the echo store of course but only there. As far as I'm aware, no other resource works like this. This is a textbook case of

You are expected to spend echoes. You are expected to grind, When you get a new weapon, it goes to the shop where now you have to chose between a trick weapon, or 20 vials. Vial prices regularly increase throughout the game, meaning that unless you know what to anticipate and grind beforehand, there will be a continuous grinding process. Something to always push your towards ponying up the dough to get back to the incredible combat and cool cities and ugly things that yell at you.

So we have a basic comparison between a game say, making you wait, grind, spend resources, etcetera to do something that is otherwise skill based. The only thing stopping this from being, inexcusably ptw is the fact you can't buy souls

...

or can you?

The CUMPFFH or whatever dungeon will give you hundreds of thousands of souls with 0 effort. This is only available if you pay for playstation plus, and I secretly believe this little trick is the first thing many "Whales" (people who disagree with me) do in order to lessen the grind.

Thank you for listening to my ted talk.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

Before Final Fantasy VII Remake, who knew that pullups can be such a pain in the ass?

Not even talking about the Expert challenge, I can't for the life of me beat the Amateur challenge since my opponent moves so fucking fast and it's very easy to mistime my button presses (doesn't help that Tifa takes her sweet time getting back up if I mess up). Was this minigame some developer's idea for a cruel joke?

I finally did beat it on expert. It's just that there aren't that many tips to give to improve.

1. Never rush. Tifa picks up speed the more successful reps you do.
2. When it tells you to mash a button, it requires 5 presses (more if you're slow about it). It then lets you hit the next button immediately.
3. Just pay attention to what you're doing. Once the prompt goes away, you have to pay attention to Tifa's body to know when to press the next button. If you're doing it correctly, Tifa's movements are going to look a bit janky as you build up a rhythm. If your number is glowing yellow, that means you're in the lead.
4. On expert, the number to clear varies. Sometime he'll do more and sometimes he'll do less. My personal best is 42, which is on the low end of how many you need to beat the expert.

Why did I say there aren't many tips? Because none of these are silver bullets. It's still a hard game that demands perfection. If you fall down once, you might as well resign and start from the beginning.

 

[Vault Boy]

I finally did beat it on expert. It's just that there aren't that many tips to give to improve.

1. Never rush. Tifa picks up speed the more successful reps you do.
2. When it tells you to mash a button, it requires 5 presses (more if you're slow about it). It then lets you hit the next button immediately.
3. Just pay attention to what you're doing. Once the prompt goes away, you have to pay attention to Tifa's body to know when to press the next button. If you're doing it correctly, Tifa's movements are going to look a bit janky as you build up a rhythm. If your number is glowing yellow, that means you're in the lead.
4. On expert, the number to clear varies. Sometime he'll do more and sometimes he'll do less. My personal best is 42, which is on the low end of how many you need to beat the expert.

Why did I say there aren't many tips? Because none of these are silver bullets. It's still a hard game that demands perfection. If you fall down once, you might as well resign and start from the beginning.

I just barely beat the amateur guy, and the expert is an absolute monster. I'm not wasting time for a bronze trophy.

The reward for beating him isn't even unique, it's just an accessory that I've found twice already. Terrible minigame.

Weird thing is, squats was no where near as unforgiving as these pullups. Why the drastic difficulty spike?

 

[Captain Syrup]

Before Final Fantasy VII Remake, who knew that pullups can be such a pain in the ass?

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

I just barely beat the amateur guy, and the expert is an absolute monster. I'm not wasting time for a bronze trophy.

The reward for beating him isn't even unique, it's just an accessory that I've found twice already. Terrible minigame.

Weird thing is, squats was no where near as unforgiving as these pullups. Why the drastic difficulty spike?

It's basically the jump in difficulty between normal and hard in general. On normal, materia set ups don't matter that much, but on hard, HP, cure, and raise materia is 100% necessary because the damage output is so high and the AI gets aggressive. Hell House throws low HP tonberries at you on Hard. The pullup minigame does this too by making the AI screw up less since it's a QTE kind of game.

 

[Bender]

you have to pay attention to Tifa's body

That's all I did during my playthrough.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Yakuza 6 but plot related, start of the game Kiryu spends couple of years in jail for some reason. Rather than have anyone employed to supervise over his orphanage, he lets a 16 year old raise the kids instead, where she promotly fucks off and has a mixed race baby.
Not only should Kiryu be loaded enough to pay someone to watch the orphanage, he has several women he can trust and owe him big time to watch the place.

 

[Bender]

Not only should Kiryu be loaded enough to pay someone to watch the orphanage, he has several women he can trust and owe him big time to watch the place.

To be fair, every adult woman Kiryu knows is either dead, a fleeting meeting, left Japan, or, in the case of Sayama's foster mother, probably wants as little to with him as possible.

Who else is there for him to rely on at that point?

Although Majima/Saejima babysitting would've been funny to see, I guess.

 

[Psyduck]

Yakuza 6 but plot related, start of the game Kiryu spends couple of years in jail for some reason. Rather than have anyone employed to supervise over his orphanage, he lets a 16 year old raise the kids instead, where she promotly fucks off and has a mixed race baby.
Not only should Kiryu be loaded enough to pay someone to watch the orphanage, he has several women he can trust and owe him big time to watch the place.

Im only starting Kiwami, but is it ever explained how Kiryu lost all the gazillions you can make in 0?

 

[Bunny Tracks]

Im only starting Kiwami, but is it ever explained how Kiryu lost all the gazillions you can make in 0?

No.

In fact, despite 0 adding a bunch of new lore, and Kiwami adding a fuckton of new scenes expanding on things, the ending of the game seems to outright forget all that, and act like it's still just going off the original.

It makes all the new shit feel entirely pointless to be honest.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Im only starting Kiwami, but is it ever explained how Kiryu lost all the gazillions you can make in 0?

It's all Majima's fault.

 

[Psyduck]

It's all Majima's fault.

For some reason it doesn't bother me at all when you put it that way

In fact, i almost find it sensible and reasonable

 

[Slimy Time]

So for Christmas I decided to spend a whopping 15 euros for Mortal Shell, another souls-like game that came out a year ago, and is now for sale during the Christmas season. So I go in thinking "this should be easy, I played DeS, DS 1-3, Bloodborne, Nioh and Sekiro." LOL no.

So the mechanic of this game is that your character inhibits the corpse of others like a shell (hence Mortal Shell) and once you get killed the first time, you get ejected out of the shell with basically 1 health point and have to get back into it to restore. Problem, when you are knocked out you are also knocked down, and the number of times where a wayward arrow or mob takes a swing while I can't do anything but wait for my character to get up... That's annoying.

 

[admiral]

I ragequit Godhand on ps2 over the controls. It's an old game and the developers were clearly trying to be original so I don't wanna get too mad, but having the analogue sticks both used for movement is absolute lunacy. Basically the camera is fixed behind the player and you use the left analogue stick to move and turn, and the right for dodges and evades. It basically fulfills the same function as the dodge button in a normal game, except in something like Breath Of The Wild or Dark Souls you just press the button and flick the left stick in the direction you want to go. In Godhand if you're fighting an enemy face on and you want to dodge left to avoid an attack, you have to flick the right analogue stick precisely left, without touching the left stick or the buttons. If you get this wrong then your character will either do nothing and get hit, or dodge in the wrong direction and get hit, or worse go shooting off away from the enemy leaving you to get ganked by a ranged attack.
One of the bumpers can also be used to turn your character and there's no lock-on for enemies, so if you fuck up the dodge and end up all turned around you have to manually turn yourself and get back to facing the enemy, by which time you will almost certainly have been squashed. Combat is built around flicking the sticks around (dash is mapped to left, a swift flick up which works some of the time), but obviously this is imprecise and if you're in the middle of a stressful encounter it's very easy to make a mistake.

There's a bossfight early-ish on against a fat mexican demon who keep calling you pendejo and every single time I would almost kill him only for the camera to decide that the wall or floor was more interesting and leave me to get flattened. It's really annoying because building combos is actually pretty fun and I liked the mechanics of the godhand and the cheesy PS2 aesthetic. It's got that dorky Devil May Cry cool guy attitude mixed with a wild-west theme and it's genuinely pretty compelling. But the combat is simply too weird and outdated. It's a bit like the combat in the switch port of Skyward Sword in that the controls give you too much control and result in fiddly, clumsy gameplay

 

[Articles and Nudes]

 

[O.O]

Final boss of Legend of Dragoon. Melbu Frahma was an absolute motherfucker. Six separate forms and no break in between them to heal party members or restore MP for Dragon Magic. Not to mention how impossibly difficult level grinding was in that game.

 

[Plant Aqua Mammal]

Final boss of Legend of Dragoon. Melbu Frahma was an absolute motherfucker. Six separate forms and no break in between them to heal party members or restore MP for Dragon Magic. Not to mention how impossibly difficult level grinding was in that game.

Oh yeah, FUCK that fight. You're given this awesome Divine Dragoon powerup right before it and the boss punishes you HARD for using dragoon forms. I love the game but that final boss nearly ruins the whole game for me.

 

[JektheDumbass]

What bugs me about the Malibu Fromage fight isn't that it's hard, it isn't. It's just so damn long and Legend of Dragoon fights are already lacking in variety. Oh you used divine dragoon spells? Good job, he's still at 99% health. Hope you brought a snack.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

View attachment 2834862

Oh wow that triggered my hate for the AssCreed optional objectives that are far tougher than the mission itself. Like it could be used well to add a bit of challenge or make you search a level a bit more, but most missions it's some arbitrary bullshit you'll bother yourself instead of doing the actual objective.