Biggest bullshit in a video game

[Friendly Primarina]

you could mash buttons in re3 and code veronica to shake off zombies faster (in REmake you have to wiggle the analogue stick)

Ah, that explains it. I thought you were talking about 1&2. Speaking of 2, the fact that the very first area of the game has like 6 or 7 zombies when the player is just getting used to the (tank) controls is pretty bullshit. Perfect example of devs showing off to the detriment of gameplay.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Ah, that explains it. I thought you were talking about 1&2. Speaking of 2, the fact that the very first area of the game has like 6 or 7 zombies when the player is just getting used to the (tank) controls is pretty bullshit. Perfect example of devs showing off to the detriment of gameplay.

RE2 was the very first game I ever played with tank controls, and the first Resident Evil game I played. It took me a dozen attempts to get to the police station with decent health. The first game at least had the courtesy of placing you in an empty room with the character facing the camera so you could practice with the controls.

RE2 is one of my favorite horror games, but I would not recommend it to newcomers.

 

[Kurtis Trent]

Gonna be honest, I don't have a problem with tank controls myself 'cause I grew up with these kind of games, but the saving system I do not miss at all. Going through several rooms and unskippable cutscenes all over again just to repeat a boss fight was more tedious than scary. CV at least introduced a Retry option.

And speaking of RE2 remake, it actually had a hidden mechanic to push zombies away before they could grab you and most people weren't even aware, which is why it's bullshit.

Yeah, it gives you more anxiety, but considering the amount of backtracking and spongy enemies, RE4-style shaking off would have worked perfectly well, so why ruin a good thing? But nah, we got stupid breakable knives... Which is stupid because you can unlock a regular knife anyway, but it's more annoying because you can lose it by accidently shoving it into a zombie... Why didn't they just brought back daggers???

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

But nah, we got stupid breakable knives... Which is stupid because you can unlock a regular knife anyway, but it's more annoying because you can lose it by accidently shoving it into a zombie... Why didn't they just brought back daggers???

I have only played 2-3 hours of RE2 and that was bullshit. I used the knife to slash downed zombies or unactivated zombies to save ammo, just regular Resident Evil stuff, then I got grabbed and the game said press [button] and I no longer had a knife. I didn't make that mistake again but the next one broke anyway while slashing zombies.

 

[I got rabies]

Probably been mentioned before but fuck unskippable cutscenes.

 

[The Cunting Death]

the Doom Eternal DLCs on nightmare mode

That's supposed to be bullshit by design

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Probably been mentioned before but fuck unskippable cutscenes.

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

Probably been mentioned before but fuck unskippable cutscenes.

Every Kojima game?

 

[Beautiful Loser]

Probably been mentioned before but fuck unskippable cutscenes.

Oh lawdy, I can recite verbatim every word in the cutscenes before the Riku-Ansem fight in Kingdom Hearts and Seymour Flux from FFX.

 

[Idiot Doom Spiral]

Giveaway loading/autosave symbols appearing at crucial moments.

Few things piss me off more than having a big upcoming boss fight, story juncture, dialogue decision or otherwise big gaming moment in my first playthrough of a game, than the telltale corner swirly icon fucking TELEGRAPHING that something is about to happen.

It was bad enough in the days of the PS2 when the hamsterwheel disc drive grinded violently into action before the MGS2 boss fights, but why a loading icon needs to appear on-screen these days is beyond fucking baffling.

Top offenders include the recent RE franchise and the Divinity Original Sin games. Soma might do this too, can’t quite recall.

 

[GuntPunt]

Always online single player like in the new HITMAN trilogy.

"Oh we care so much about the cheaters on singleplayer leaderboards that we will buttfuck everyone once the server goes offline."

At least there's mods to unfuck this.

Also, subtitles that cut off mid sentence spoiling a character getting hurt/killed. Kills all tension in the scene.

 

[Bunny Tracks]

People refusing to play a game until it gets a PC port when the game itself is well over a decade old, and the company lost the source code for it years ago.

Either fucking emulate it or buy the console version. Hell, considering how much publishers charge for games nowadays, you could probably get the game, and the console for cheaper than the actual port.

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

People refusing to play a game until it gets a PC port when the game itself is well over a decade old, and the company lost the source code for it years ago.

Either fucking emulate it or buy the console version. Hell, considering how much publishers charge for games nowadays, you could probably get the game, and the console for cheaper than the actual port.

Any specific game?

 

[Bunny Tracks]

Any specific game?

Red Dead Redemption 1. Some people played the sequel without playing the first and refuse to until it gets a PC port.

This is not going to happen because the original production of RDR1 (the actual programming part at least) was an absolute shitshow, and the incredibly spaghettified code (another reason why a port isn't going to happen) was bounced around like crazy, and now no one knows where it actually is.

Rockstar might still have it on some old hard drive somewhere but considering how source code preservation has only just become a big deal that even major publishers are just starting to realize, and how long it's been since its original realse, there's a good chance it's lost forever.

 

[I got rabies]

Every Kojima game?

You can skip cutscenes in Kojima games, but the bullshit variant is that it's segmented and you need to manually skip every part. There's 3 for taking a shower.

 

[The Last Stand]

Red Dead Redemption 1. Some people played the sequel without playing the first and refuse to until it gets a PC port.

This is not going to happen because the original production of RDR1 (the actual programming part at least) was an absolute shitshow, and the incredibly spaghettified code (another reason why a port isn't going to happen) was bounced around like crazy, and now no one knows where it actually is.

Rockstar might still have it on some old hard drive somewhere but considering how source code preservation has only just become a big deal that even major publishers are just starting to realize, and how long it's been since its original realse, there's a good chance it's lost forever.

I wish R* would just remade RDR1 with the RDR2 engine. They don't even have to add multiplayer.

 

[M3xus]

If they did, they'd somehow fuck it up as bad as the GTA Definitive Edition.

That brings me to my next point, remasters and remakes that manage to be downgrades from the original. Warcraft 3 Reforged and GTA: Definitive Edition are inexcusable.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I wish R* would just remade RDR1 with the RDR2 engine. They don't even have to add multiplayer.

I want Nuevo Paraiso, favorite part of RDR1. Want to go to Escalera and Chuparosa in the updated graphics.

 

[Bunny Tracks]

I wish R* would just remade RDR1 with the RDR2 engine. They don't even have to add multiplayer.

The thing is that everyone thought they were going to because Mexico is actually in the game.

It has no npcs (barring the native americans that spawn there but most likely a glitch or an oversight), or animals, and the cities and towns are barren, but it does have music, ambient sounds, foliage, landmarks, and structures.

Because of this, Mexico was either a) like Guarma, supposed to be fully explorable in the game, but was cut for some reason, or b) a RDR1 remake, or remaster was in the works but was scrapped because R* hates this series because it doesn't make as much money as GTA.

I want Nuevo Paraiso, favorite part of RDR1. Want to go to Escalera and Chuparosa in the updated graphics.

I just want my Bandito outfit back. There's nothing like watching John's last moments while he wears a big stupid sombero on his head.

 

[The Ugly One]

Red Dead Redemption 1. Some people played the sequel without playing the first and refuse to until it gets a PC port.

This is not going to happen because the original production of RDR1 (the actual programming part at least) was an absolute shitshow, and the incredibly spaghettified code (another reason why a port isn't going to happen) was bounced around like crazy, and now no one knows where it actually is.

Rockstar might still have it on some old hard drive somewhere but considering how source code preservation has only just become a big deal that even major publishers are just starting to realize, and how long it's been since its original realse, there's a good chance it's lost forever.

This sounds like a story from the early 1990s. I'm not saying Rockstar must have used version control for RDR1 like everyone else in the software industry had been doing for a decade by that point, I'm just saying this sounds nuts.

It was bad enough in the days of the PS2 when the hamsterwheel disc drive grinded violently into action before the MGS2 boss fights, but why a loading icon needs to appear on-screen these days is beyond fucking baffling.

File I/O is still orders of magnitude slower than memory accesses. Data is also frequently not stored on a disc in the same structure the program needs. So if you need to load a gig of data or two, that could be a couple seconds, and then you have to build your actual in-use data structures out of it, and that can take a bit as well.


Oh, right, biggest bullshit in a video game. Splinter Cell 1, the entire game. It's nothing more than a trial-and-error shitshow sneaking around the environment, playing "Mother may I?" with the developers, trying to find the pipe you're allowed to climb or the door you're allowed to go through, or figure out where exactly the guard's sight cone is so you can sneak by him, or making sure a corpses boot isn't in the light so you don't get an alarm when you hit a checkpoint.

It's at that inflection point in 3D games where the graphics are still fine enough (dated, yes, but not hideous or jittery or sluggish), but the core gameplay itself has not held up at all.