Biggest bullshit in a video game

[marvlouslie]

Why the fuck does EVERYTHING have to have a battlepass now?

 

[Caesare]

When in previous FIFAs when the Netherlands wasn't licensed, they set up some Dutch team with fake names that loosely resembled players on the roster.

I used to get a kick out of that when I was a kid, playing the Tecmo Bowl games on regular Nintendo.

They had the rights to use all the teams, and pretty much every player too. I guess a few of the guys were being primadonnas though, because instead of their names it would just use their number, position and their team as their name.

One in particular was Jim Kelly, QB for the Buffalo Bill's. Whenever you'd score a touchdown, it would name the receiver or halfback, and the QB.

So for the Bill's, you'd score and it would play the little theme music and the screen would say: "#34 Thurman Thomas" then it would change to: "#12 QB BILLS" lol

 

[Rogue Telvanni]

I think magic systems in a lot of games don't live up to the power fantasy of being a mage. And I mean a pure caster, not some off-hand casting bullshit.

Dragon Age: Origins had some cool ideas (visuals and sound effects weren't the most inspiring, but the spirit was there), but DA2 and especially DAI fucked most of it up and cut out the cool spells (and shit up the combat, the story and pretty much everything else). Also the mage hats in O looked retarded and no one mentioning you being a blood mage in either O or 2 was likewise retarded.

TES had good ideas (spellcrafting is still probably one of my favorite mechanics of all times), but it lacked some spectacle. And then over time it just gutted itself to whatever fucking piss-poor excuse for a magic system there is in ESO.

MMORPGS basically have you mashing the OPTIMAL combos + any impact gets lost when its a 30 man mosh pit with everyone sparkling with particles like an irradiated christmas tree.

Dark Souls mostly just has one type of spell that you get stronger variants of as you progress. DS2 and ER had some neat ideas, but that's mostly because some spells broke away from "straight line projectile" and "bigger straight line projectile" formula, with the most unique ones usually also being shit. Also the "amount of casts" system was more interesting than generic mana.

Games like Terraria equate magic to ranged weapons with a different type of ammunition (so mana instead of bullets\arrows). Some of the magic weapons have pretty unique ways of attacking (especially in mods), but that's about it.

Divinity: Original Sin 2 was probably the only game that somewhat made me feel like a proper fucking wizard - with the environmental manipulation and big flashy spell combos and whatnot. Outward had a pretty interesting thing going for it with Rune Magic, shame about the rest of the game though.

Maybe there are good wizarding games and I've missed them, but from my experience - magic has always felt off in most of them.
Also wands are fucking gay, staves are superior.

 

[Table Country]

Maybe there are good wizarding games and I've missed them, but from my experience - magic has always felt off in most of them.

I haven't played it, but from the one review of it I've seen of it, Sacrifice might be up your alley.

As Mandy put it: "You're not casting magic, you're committing magic."

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

I haven't played it, but from the one review of it I've seen of it, Sacrifice might be up your alley.

As Mandy put it: "You're not casting magic, you're committing magic."

Highly recommend.

It's a unique experience.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

Highly recommend.

It's a unique experience.

It's a bit crap but carried by being unique, everyone should at least check it out.

Magicka was the hot meme game for a while and it had a pretty unique free-form magic system that often lead to complete chaos and/or accidental suicide. It also got a Vietnam War expansion. Because it's a meme game.

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

It's a bit crap but carried by being unique, everyone should at least check it out.

Magicka was the hot meme game for a while and it had a pretty unique free-form magic system that often lead to complete chaos and/or accidental suicide. It also got a Vietnam War expansion. Because it's a meme game.

Noita kinda fits this description... Except chaos and accidental suicide is quite often the norm, not an accident or exception.

 

[I got rabies]

Dragon's Dogma has pretty dope magic.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Dragon's Dogma has pretty dope magic.

Nothing more satisfying than pulling off the meteor shower on that optional dragon.

 

[std::string]

Why the fuck does EVERYTHING have to have a battlepass now?

Some people like to roll the dice on lootboxes. Others don't mind grinding for stuff. Game developers figured out they could tickle the lizard brain of the latter type of player by giving them a way to grind more efficiently.

So now they've captured everyone.

 

[Meat Target]

Escort quests and tower defense sections have never been fun.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Dragon Age: Origins

Speaking off Bullshit.

Not being able to turn the difficulty to the hardest without turning off friendly fire.

 

[Hepativore]

I think magic systems in a lot of games don't live up to the power fantasy of being a mage. And I mean a pure caster, not some off-hand casting bullshit.

Dragon Age: Origins had some cool ideas (visuals and sound effects weren't the most inspiring, but the spirit was there), but DA2 and especially DAI fucked most of it up and cut out the cool spells (and shit up the combat, the story and pretty much everything else). Also the mage hats in O looked retarded and no one mentioning you being a blood mage in either O or 2 was likewise retarded.

TES had good ideas (spellcrafting is still probably one of my favorite mechanics of all times), but it lacked some spectacle. And then over time it just gutted itself to whatever fucking piss-poor excuse for a magic system there is in ESO.

MMORPGS basically have you mashing the OPTIMAL combos + any impact gets lost when its a 30 man mosh pit with everyone sparkling with particles like an irradiated christmas tree.

Dark Souls mostly just has one type of spell that you get stronger variants of as you progress. DS2 and ER had some neat ideas, but that's mostly because some spells broke away from "straight line projectile" and "bigger straight line projectile" formula, with the most unique ones usually also being shit. Also the "amount of casts" system was more interesting than generic mana.

Games like Terraria equate magic to ranged weapons with a different type of ammunition (so mana instead of bullets\arrows). Some of the magic weapons have pretty unique ways of attacking (especially in mods), but that's about it.

Divinity: Original Sin 2 was probably the only game that somewhat made me feel like a proper fucking wizard - with the environmental manipulation and big flashy spell combos and whatnot. Outward had a pretty interesting thing going for it with Rune Magic, shame about the rest of the game though.

Maybe there are good wizarding games and I've missed them, but from my experience - magic has always felt off in most of them.
Also wands are fucking gay, staves are superior.

One problem a lot of game magic systems have, is that you often end up learning very powerful instakill spells, or spells that do more than one form of elemental damage to an enemy, but they end up being practically useless. This is because in many games, almost every enemy was resistant to instakill attacks, or had an elemental resistance to one of the elements you were attacking them with in the elemental spell.

The Final Fantasy series was infamous for this, as there was no point in wasting a turn trying to cast something like Death or Stone, with the high probability the spells would fail, and many enemies would absorb and be healed by being attacked by the opposite element that they were weak to, so it often made summoning a gf/esper that did multi-elemental attacks pointless.

 

[Haftag]

One of the best things you could do in DA: O with two mages and two stealthy rogues, was to explore the map with the rogues and set traps, including magic ones. That oily ground + any AOE fire spell combo never gets old. You couldn't do this in II and specially Inquisishit, because your companions spawn besides you after a certain distance.

 

[byuu]

One of the best things you could do in DA: O with two mages and two stealthy rogues, was to explore the map with the rogues and set traps, including magic ones. That oily ground + any AOE fire spell combo never gets old. You couldn't do this in II and specially Inquisishit, because your companions spawn besides you after a certain distance.

In DA2 enemies also just spawned out of nowhere at some set point, essentially reducing the previous combat system to JRPG style encounters.

 

[Haftag]

In DA2 enemies also just spawned out of nowhere at some set point, essentially reducing the previous combat system to JRPG style encounters.

Yeah, but still better than I's sponges and complete(as opposed to II's partial) lack of tactics.

 

[Inafune Fanfiction]

The chain grapple from mmz2. Not only does it suck at actually hooking onto anything, but they decided to build entire levels around it and ruin the forest levels with a bethesda tier grapple hook as a result.

So you’d end up falling to your death unfairly a number of times before some rng pulled through and somehow got through the sections requiring it with no way to work around the gapple drone sections suspended over pits of instant death.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

I think magic systems in a lot of games don't live up to the power fantasy of being a mage. And I mean a pure caster, not some off-hand casting bullshit.

Dragon Age: Origins had some cool ideas (visuals and sound effects weren't the most inspiring, but the spirit was there), but DA2 and especially DAI fucked most of it up and cut out the cool spells (and shit up the combat, the story and pretty much everything else). Also the mage hats in O looked retarded and no one mentioning you being a blood mage in either O or 2 was likewise retarded.

TES had good ideas (spellcrafting is still probably one of my favorite mechanics of all times), but it lacked some spectacle. And then over time it just gutted itself to whatever fucking piss-poor excuse for a magic system there is in ESO.

MMORPGS basically have you mashing the OPTIMAL combos + any impact gets lost when its a 30 man mosh pit with everyone sparkling with particles like an irradiated christmas tree.

Dark Souls mostly just has one type of spell that you get stronger variants of as you progress. DS2 and ER had some neat ideas, but that's mostly because some spells broke away from "straight line projectile" and "bigger straight line projectile" formula, with the most unique ones usually also being shit. Also the "amount of casts" system was more interesting than generic mana.

Games like Terraria equate magic to ranged weapons with a different type of ammunition (so mana instead of bullets\arrows). Some of the magic weapons have pretty unique ways of attacking (especially in mods), but that's about it.

Divinity: Original Sin 2 was probably the only game that somewhat made me feel like a proper fucking wizard - with the environmental manipulation and big flashy spell combos and whatnot. Outward had a pretty interesting thing going for it with Rune Magic, shame about the rest of the game though.

Maybe there are good wizarding games and I've missed them, but from my experience - magic has always felt off in most of them.
Also wands are fucking gay, staves are superior.

I legit want like......Stevie Nicks The Wild Heart album cover type cloaks for the mages. And flowing robes. I don't expect Bioware to follow up though.

 

[Haftag]

It's 2023, and if your game doesn't have:
Full remapping for any device (Beacause there are 16-bit games, and even mobile games (like BioShock 2D) that have it),
Separate volume controls (same, many old mobile games even asked if you wanted sound on or off at the start),
Multiple saving options, especially when it's known the engine supports it,
Options for harmful, annoying or performance-heavy features (screen shake and flashing, loud reverb, vibration, and things like color blindness),
A freaking quit button (mostly for mobile games, God these have regressed),
Then you're an ass developer, even if your game ends up being fun.
And fuck sound effects that are loud no matter what the volume is.
And overcomplicated hyper-realistic physics. And RNGs and other unwanted RPG elements. And collectathons. And pay2win. And emulation boxes. And bloat "high res" crap. And shill journos. And review bombing. God we need another crash.

 

[Hepativore]

It's 2023, and if your game doesn't have:
Full remapping for any device (Beacause there are 16-bit games, and even mobile games (like BioShock 2D) that have it),
Separate volume controls (same, many old mobile games even asked if you wanted sound on or off at the start),
Multiple saving options, especially when it's known the engine supports it,
Options for harmful, annoying or performance-heavy features (screen shake and flashing, loud reverb, vibration, and things like color blindness),
A freaking quit button (mostly for mobile games, God these have regressed),
Then you're an ass developer, even if your game ends up being fun.
And fuck sound effects that are loud no matter what the volume is.
And overcomplicated hyper-realistic physics. And RNGs and other unwanted RPG elements. And collectathons. And pay2win. And emulation boxes. And bloat "high res" crap. And shill journos. And review bombing. God we need another crash.

Yes, I am left-handed, and I learned from a very early age how to swap the left and right mouse buttons as I use the mouse in my left hand, and the standard configuration of "wasd" is rather inconvenient for me.