Biggest bullshit in a video game

[The Lawgiver]

Maybe an unpopular opinion, but "lives" and "game over" may not be needed anymore.

They're a thing because of old arcade machines where one had to pay to play.

After arcades to modern day it's usually a "losing a life will set you back to the last checkpoint but game over will guarantee you need to go back and do it again because you fucked up BAD." In old games game over would send you back to the fucking start of the game but over the years "game over" has gotten more lenient from just putting you back to the title screen and keeping your progress to just making it so you start at the beginning of a level again. Game over isn't entirely useless YET. Considering the fact features are getting added to games specifically so hackfraud modern day media game journos that clearly hate actually playing video games give it a more positive review, it's almost a guaranteed eventuality that game over will become pointless.

SPEAKING OF WHICH Those kinda features just annoy the absolute shit out of me. There's shit in games where if you die enough times the game tries to make you invulnerable to anything or asks you if you want to skip the level. The most egrigious addition though is the shit being added to rpgs where it wins the game for you. I'm not talking like th e old "auto-run" function that is an ai kinda flopping about in an attempt to win the match for you but 9/10 times will kill you unless you're overleveled I'm talking like just It just does the most efficient and effective way to beat the damn battle FOR YOU and since the entire fucking gameplay is turn based button pushing and character grid placement sometimes it like removes the entirety of the gameplay experience. Fuck anyone who defends the kinda shit like that getting put into games. The fact more nd more games are implementing a "WIN GAME" button in general is just fucking depressing. "Game Journo difficulty" is a very real thing and makes me long for the days when games used to make fun of you for picking the easiest mode.

 

[An Ghost]

After arcades to modern day it's usually a "losing a life will set you back to the last checkpoint but game over will guarantee you need to go back and do it again because you fucked up BAD." In old games game over would send you back to the fucking start of the game but over the years "game over" has gotten more lenient from just putting you back to the title screen and keeping your progress to just making it so you start at the beginning of a level again. Game over isn't entirely useless YET. Considering the fact features are getting added to games specifically so hackfraud modern day media game journos that clearly hate actually playing video games give it a more positive review, it's almost a guaranteed eventuality that game over will become pointless.

SPEAKING OF WHICH Those kinda features just annoy the absolute shit out of me. There's shit in games where if you die enough times the game tries to make you invulnerable to anything or asks you if you want to skip the level. The most egrigious addition though is the shit being added to rpgs where it wins the game for you. I'm not talking like th e old "auto-run" function that is an ai kinda flopping about in an attempt to win the match for you but 9/10 times will kill you unless you're overleveled I'm talking like just It just does the most efficient and effective way to beat the damn battle FOR YOU and since the entire fucking gameplay is turn based button pushing and character grid placement sometimes it like removes the entirety of the gameplay experience. Fuck anyone who defends the kinda shit like that getting put into games. The fact more nd more games are implementing a "WIN GAME" button in general is just fucking depressing. "Game ourno difficulty" is a very real thing and makes me long for the days when games used to make fun of you for picking the easiest mode.

I think its a fine feature. I don't use it but it makes sense. Imagine being a dev and you spend so long on a game but people give up and never see half of what you made for them because of one level. First game I saw skip mission buttons in was Simpsons Hit n Run which quite frankly, is a hot pile of bullshit even as an adult. It requires a stupid amount of luck and inner peace to beat that game. But I was like 11 or something so I needed to skip a few and come back. When I was younger I can absolutely say I gave up on games because of "that level." But now I'm a masochistic dark souls / dwarf fortress player. It there was a skip boss button in dark souls that would be pathetic. But i'm not gonna cry over funky kong mode for kids. Some people even speed run funky kong mode because its faster and more fluid.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

In CK2:
The way revolts fuck up your wars.

If I've nearly won the war and a revolt is declared by whoever owns that province the war ends inconclusively.

 

[Beautiful Loser]

Mines are bullshit in Lolout 76, the ones already placed start going off when you're stupidly far away so it's pretty fucking hard to disarm them, and yours don't really activate/start beeping until after something's stepped on it and long past the blast radius. That's before factoring in that enemies love to suddenly start moving at a quarter the speed of light, but that probably has to do with it being an online game.

 

[The Lawgiver]

I think its a fine feature. I don't use it but it makes sense. Imagine being a dev and you spend so long on a game but people give up and never see half of what you made for them because of one level. First game I saw skip mission buttons in was Simpsons Hit n Run which quite frankly, is a hot pile of bullshit even as an adult. It requires a stupid amount of luck and inner peace to beat that game. But I was like 11 or something so I needed to skip a few and come back. When I was younger I can absolutely say I gave up on games because of "that level." But now I'm a masochistic dark souls / dwarf fortress player. It there was a skip boss button in dark souls that would be pathetic. But i'm not gonna cry over funky kong mode for kids. Some people even speed run funky kong mode because its faster and more fluid.

Funky mode Is nothing compared to the "press button to win the game" shit. Funky mode is easy mode but in an actually creative way that enhances the gameplay somewhat. I could be remembering this wrong but i think game journalist guys hated funky modebecause it was "pointless" or some shit like that. Funky mode isn't the issue here. I'm talking shit that actively takes away control from the player and wins instantly no matter what, or counts as a "win" despite being a skip.

One of the most egrious examples of the skip shit to win in these recent years is the addition of it in Splatoon 2's octo expansion DLC, which is supposed to be a challenge mode version of singleplayer. Unlike the base game singleplayer, they added a level skip system. If you fail a certain number of times and do it it'll open a prompt to "hack" the game and skip the level for you. Some missions which are proper bullshit at times this makes sense on to a degree but there's a final stretch of stages and a final boss that aren't part of the challenge missions, yet still have the skip button. I fucked up the time trial final boss because I'm notoriously shit with time limits but I pulled through all the same. It's fucking infuriating seeing a "SKIP?" menu and icon pop up while you're beating whats supposed to be the finale of a game's hard mode is complete ass. They worked out a big cinematic final hard ass moment and gave you a button to skip it entirely. I get skippping like optional bullshit levels or cheating through a shitty segment of a game in small doses but the fucking FINAL STAGE AND BOSS IS SKIPPABLE. It sucks, and even though it came out like 3 years ago now though it doesn't feel like it because of how pervasive this weird stagnation state has been to the point you could probably AI generate believable current year events.

 

[Snakebottom]

Vast, sprawling cities or buildings with interconnected floors with only ONE set of stairs to get between them, making you traipse for ages just to get to a higher/lower level. I’m calling out FFXII and Horizon Zero Dawn as the worst offenders

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

Vast, sprawling cities or buildings with interconnected floors with only ONE set of stairs to get between them, making you traipse for ages just to get to a higher/lower level. I’m calling out FFXII and Horizon Zero Dawn as the worst offenders

Not a fan of rogue/likes I take it?

 

[Snakebottom]

Not a fan of rogue/likes I take it?

They make sense in those because that’s part of the design to take you to the next ‘level’ - but when it’s just there as an inconvenient way of traversing he same area it’s bullshit of the highest order

 

[ToroidalBoat]

It may have been brought up already, but in the Civilization games, if another civilization builds a Wonder that your team is still building, you can't finish the second one.

 

[Pissmaster]

Funky mode Is nothing compared to the "press button to win the game" shit. Funky mode is easy mode but in an actually creative way that enhances the gameplay somewhat. I could be remembering this wrong but i think game journalist guys hated funky modebecause it was "pointless" or some shit like that. Funky mode isn't the issue here. I'm talking shit that actively takes away control from the player and wins instantly no matter what, or counts as a "win" despite being a skip.

One of the most egrious examples of the skip shit to win in these recent years is the addition of it in Splatoon 2's octo expansion DLC, which is supposed to be a challenge mode version of singleplayer. Unlike the base game singleplayer, they added a level skip system. If you fail a certain number of times and do it it'll open a prompt to "hack" the game and skip the level for you. Some missions which are proper bullshit at times this makes sense on to a degree but there's a final stretch of stages and a final boss that aren't part of the challenge missions, yet still have the skip button. I fucked up the time trial final boss because I'm notoriously shit with time limits but I pulled through all the same. It's fucking infuriating seeing a "SKIP?" menu and icon pop up while you're beating whats supposed to be the finale of a game's hard mode is complete ass. They worked out a big cinematic final hard ass moment and gave you a button to skip it entirely. I get skippping like optional bullshit levels or cheating through a shitty segment of a game in small doses but the fucking FINAL STAGE AND BOSS IS SKIPPABLE. It sucks, and even though it came out like 3 years ago now though it doesn't feel like it because of how pervasive this weird stagnation state has been to the point you could probably AI generate believable current year events.

Yeah, I can get behind that. I used the golden leaf a handful of times in the Mario 3D games just to get through a smattering of levels that just weren't fun. That's the way to do it, just put the game on Funky Mode and let the player navigate the level themselves. Hell, I'll even go so far as to say you should be able to flip that on whenever you want after you beat the level and collected all the stars the normal way, just so you can freely explore and goof off.

It's fun to figure out the most efficient way to beat a level. But when the most efficient way is just an auto-win button, it really does make the game feel pointless. There's nothing to earn, and nothing to win.

 

[I got rabies]

Fighting games that have a countdown during character selection on their console port. This isn't too bad because you usually know what character you're going to use, but if it's your first time playing and you barely know anyone and want to look at their models, or you want to see the new faces, you gotta hurry the fuck up because of that fucking countdown. Maybe it gives this "arcade but in your home" feel but it's still annoying af.

Also, console games that try to emulate a mouse but I don't have a mouse I have a controller. And the cursor move very slowly, or have small icons I need to select with accuracy. Fine if you want to include mouse support on your console, but make a normal menu if people are using a controller.

 

[Mooger Meng]

Not exactly bullshit within the games themselves but I hate when games have tie in comics, novels, etc. where they continiue the story or even solve plot points from the games. For example in Halo 4 we meet Spartan Team Majestic they are sort of the protagonists of the Spartan Ops campaign, in Halo 5 they are nowhere to be seen and not even mentioned, I thought it was because of how unpopular the game mode was, but it turns out there is a comic series where it details that they sacrificed their lives and that that the protagonist from Halo 3 ODST is now dead, and the protagonists from Halo 5 feel like the come out of nowhere but it turns out theres like 5 novels detailing who they are and what they want. so as someone who only plays the games it feels like the story has a ton of plot holes.

I know I've sperged out about it before in regards to Destiny's hilariously bad storytelling, but it bears repeating - if some piece of information is supposed to be important to your work, put it the fuck in there. Don't rely on supplementary materials to "fill in the gaps"; that just makes you just look like either a lazy asshole or a useless retard.

 

[The Last Stand]

Not exactly bullshit within the games themselves but I hate when games have tie in comics, novels, etc. where they continiue the story or even solve plot points from the games. For example in Halo 4 we meet Spartan Team Majestic they are sort of the protagonists of the Spartan Ops campaign, in Halo 5 they are nowhere to be seen and not even mentioned, I thought it was because of how unpopular the game mode was, but it turns out there is a comic series where it details that they sacrificed their lives and that that the protagonist from Halo 3 ODST is now dead, and the protagonists from Halo 5 feel like the come out of nowhere but it turns out theres like 5 novels detailing who they are and what they want. so as someone who only plays the games it feels like the story has a ton of plot holes.

And this is why I find Halo's lore uninteresting and convoluted. If I have to go through multiple avenues to even have a synopsis of your world, I'm not interested.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

And this is why I find Halo's lore uninteresting and convoluted. If I have to go through multiple avenues to even have a synopsis of your world, I'm not interested.

That problem came about by around Halo 4 when the story itself ended definitively in 3. The prequel stories that describe how the Covenant war started were solid pulp sci-fi stories, especially The Fall of Reach. The Promethian retcon and anyone attached to it fucked the Halo series.

 

[Jeff Boomhauer]

Tripping in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I played the hell out of Brawl when it was released, but that shit was inexcusable. At best, it wastes a few seconds, and at worst, it will let the opponent KO you.

Also, how the hell do characters like Meta Knight, who fucking flies instead of running, trip?

 

[Mooger Meng]

Also, how the hell do characters like Meta Knight, who fucking flies instead of running, trip?

Turbulence.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

The tetra master card game in Final Fantasy IX. It's a 4x4 grid game where each card has arrows on some of the 8 sides and corners, as well as its own attack and defence stats. Except it never explains the rules, some of the tiles are greyed out which you can't see before you start so usually end up selecting useless cards, you always have to go first and there's rng when the cards battle eachother. So basically, it makes up the rules as it goes along and you lose.

 

[Bad Gateway]

The tetra master card game in Final Fantasy IX. It's a 4x4 grid game where each card has arrows on some of the 8 sides and corners, as well as its own attack and defence stats. Except it never explains the rules, some of the tiles are greyed out which you can't see before you start so usually end up selecting useless cards, you always have to go first and there's rng when the cards battle eachother. So basically, it makes up the rules as it goes along and you lose.

Tetra master definitely. Even if you hack the game to get cards with arrows in all directions, the highest stats and X attack, you can lose to a 0 rank card and get comboed into a perfect loss on the last turn.

I'll submit Dark Souls combat. A whole useless stat category, dozens of weapons and a bunch of armor sets of which only 1 or 2 per game are even remotely worthwhile, boss combat fully focused around just wasting time "learning" (just watching, really) which one of the 3 clearly telegraphed attacks creates an opening for the most strong attacks and then retreating to watch the same shit again, yawn, snore, oh this time the choir is goin woooaAAAaaah OOOohhhh neat. It's not that DS are particularly hard games, that's just a meme, but they are games centered around a broken main mechanic and SMB3 kaizo platforming concepts. The combo is interesting in theory I guess, but the execution is never that great. I like InfernoPlus's DSR mod though, that shit is actually fun.

 

[An Ghost]

And this is why I find Halo's lore uninteresting and convoluted. If I have to go through multiple avenues to even have a synopsis of your world, I'm not interested.

Microshaft would rather have a few dweebs complain about having to read novels than alienate a huge amount of the player base with loads of exposition. Plus everybody just plays the online. But I will agree it's nice when it's there and not something else to buy. I didn't before but now I enjoy reading books in TES games. Yet nobody is gonna stop in a fire fight to read about alien architecture.

 

[JektheDumbass]

The tetra master card game in Final Fantasy IX. It's a 4x4 grid game where each card has arrows on some of the 8 sides and corners, as well as its own attack and defence stats. Except it never explains the rules, some of the tiles are greyed out which you can't see before you start so usually end up selecting useless cards, you always have to go first and there's rng when the cards battle eachother. So basically, it makes up the rules as it goes along and you lose.

My GF was playing FF9 and two of her cards literally had no arrows...