Borderlands (1, 2, 3, The Pre-Sequel, TftB)

Barring actor/actress choices and Cl4p-TP being cgi instead of a little practical puppet I like the look of what I see.

I don’t know who I would cast for tannis off the top of my head but the fact that Terry Crews or the Rock isn’t Roland is irking me. They have the height and the Rock has the voice for it.

Depending on the Tannis you’re doing you either need someone who’s spacey or someone that’s bubbly and spacey. The first game she was way more toned down and wasn’t lol random but was definitely traumatized by what she saw. Anya Taylor Joy doesn’t have the look but could maybe fit the character, or that one lady from Fem Ghostbusters, but I doubt anyone wants to invite her back to a movie.
 
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I don’t know who I would cast for tannis off the top of my head but the fact that Terry Crews or the Rock isn’t Roland is irking me. They have the height and the Rock has the voice for it.

Kevin Hart as Roland is such a huge miscast I would avoid the movie based on that alone. The guy cannot act, is 4 feet tall, and a comedic role for the stoic character doesnt fit at all.
 
Lilith looks like a tranny.
Roland is a generic nigger holding a gun that doesn't fit any manufacturer. Plus the actor who plays him is a fucking MANLET.
Krieg doesn't look like a mutant.
Tina is in her teenage appearance, despite Roland being fucking DEAD long before that happens.
And don't even get me started on Tannis. I legitimately had no idea who I was looking at until someone pointed it out.
Where's Brick? Where's Mordy? Where's Zed? Where's Marcus? Where's Moxxi? Where's Scoo no wait they killed him off in that faggy adventure game.
I hope this finally sinks Gearbox and forces Randy Bobandy to sell the rights to Duke to someone who gives a shit.
 
Kevin Hart as Roland is such a huge miscast I would avoid the movie based on that alone. The guy cannot act, is 4 feet tall, and a comedic role for the stoic character doesnt fit at all.
I think they said Krom is gonna be the main villain and he’s some like 8 foot Swiss dude or something, but if you even know who he is, he’s a boss in Borderlands 1 you have to fight to secure a piece of the vault key inside Kroms Canyon. If you don’t remember who that is I don’t necessarily blame you. It’s the older guy that is at the end of a climb up two the side of a canyon who shoots at you with a turret.

A neat little boss but not one I would make a movie about or cast a big foreign man who towers over my protagonist. He’s fairly lanky and old in game.
Where's Brick? Where's Mordy? Where's Zed?
Just like Borderlands 3 they get shafted. Zed might appear on a machine, same as Marcus, but mordecai and brick are gonna be doing something else is my best guess. Scooter died because the VA got ill and couldn’t do the voice anymore so instead of replace him they wrote his character off with a noble sacrifice. Sucks but I think that shows more respect to the character and VA than most franchises do.

I hope they keep moxxi out of this if it’s a trash fire.
 
Yes you do. You're going to get dogshit at least 95% of the time, because you cannot properly translate videya to film (or vice-versa) without losing most of the appeal.
I mean look what happened with shit like Legend of Chun-Li, Tomb Raider 2018, etc.
 
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Lilith looks like a tranny.
That's Cate Blanchett, who played Galadriel in LotR/Hobbit and Heles in Thor: Ragnarok. Good actress, but horribly miscast.

I have no hopes for this film, in the same way that I have no hopes for the series. It's been thoroughly mishandled since 2; I didn't even bother checking out Tiny Tina's Wonderlands since I know what a half-baked scam looks like.
 

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Glad to see the Toyota Hilux live on

Also a pee joke first minute into the trailer.

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Moxxi confirmed and a claptrap shit joke at the end.

Looks terrible. Also theres apparently drama with the writer, he had himself removed from the credits.

The Borderlands Movie's Scary Behind The Scenes Drama That Has Us Worried​

Craig Mazin, a showrunner for the hit video game adaptation The Last of Us, was previously credited as a co-writer for Borderlands. Mazin denied his involvement in Borderlands, though, which has caused concern about the quality of the writing and the movie as a whole.
 
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>Craig Mazin
yep, that's all I need to hear. Having to watch a movie made from the likes of Eli Roth, Avi Arad and Craig Mazin is like being kicked in the ass, punched in the nards and slapped in the face all at once
 
*facepalming hard with both hands*

What the fuck did I just watch?

Where do I start? Because the trailer isnt that long and yet it still has so much wrong.

The casting is awful. The selection of characters is all over the place. Jamie Lee fucking Curtis as Tannis?

From the trailer you can already tell what kind of movie its going to be, in the worst way possible. It seems inspired by The Rock Jumanji movies but, again, in the worst way possible. None of the characters behave how they should. No Mordecai and Brick? I hate Jack Black as Claptrap already.

And the humor. God. Say whatever you want about Borderlands 1,2 and Pre-sequel having immature humor. Some of it is dated by today standards. But you cannot in good faith (and sanity) tell me that the humor in this comes anywhere close in quality to the WORST jokes of these three games. Not even Borderlands 3 was this bad, holy shit.

And the worst part? We all know they will dare to try to setup yours truly next movie, as if this garbage is ever getting a sequel, you can tell this is a project that was barely able to come out with all of its development Hell so a sequel is already out of the plans I'd hope.
Yes you do. You're going to get dogshit at least 95% of the time, because you cannot properly translate videya to film (or vice-versa) without losing most of the appeal.

Mario was only able to come out a winner because Im very fucking sure they had Nintendo breathing on Illumination's neck at every creative decision.
Also, how the fuck did they convince Blanchett and Curtis to be in this mess? They are respected actresses.

Maybe Blanchett but I wouldnt go that far with Curtis.
 
This is so blatantly trying to be GOTG.

Tina is Rocket, Krieg is Groot/Drax, Tannith is Mantis, Lilith is Gamora, and Roland is Starlord. The only difference is Claptrap being around but not having the OG voice actor was such a mistake - I hated the replacement voice from the last BL2 DLC and Jack Black doesn't come off nearly as unintentionally whiny as what is necessary to make Clappy work.

The cast list is also shocking. You don't have Dr. Zed, who is one of the reoccurring side characters whose face is literally everywhere because of the vending machines, but somehow Hammerlock is in this despite his character essentially doing nothing of importance at any point besides fixing Claptrap once early in BL2? And for some reason they have a chick who looks like Commandant Steele, named Commander Knoxx (the depressed old guy in a battle suit), and seemingly going to be filling the role of Athena. What the fuck.

The worst part of all is the visuals, as far as Hollywood goes, are perfect as an adaptation. Not perfect perfect, it's all too clean and obviously CGI, but given how rare it still is to get characters appearing anything like their source material says they should, what we have here is shockingly dead on. It's just everything else that's been done so completely wrong.
 
I expected this kind of sperging, but I think there's a big part of the trailer that you're missing, where the fuck are the GUNS? It's a 180-second trailer, wrinkly Lilith shoots at a car at 1:04, couple Atlas guys at 1:30, Claptrap getting plugged at 2:10, there's a very clear indication that Eli Roth and the other writers/storyboarders either completely misunderstand the Borderlands audience (BL3 problems), or are completely incompetent as a result of the subject matter being unfamiliar to them. Borderlands is about endlessly pulling the slot machine to make the number go up, nobody gives a fuck about any of these people, and the story has been moot ever since they insisted on shoving it down our throats instead of subtle environmental storytelling. There will be no DPUH, nobody will make a joke about whipping out their Hard Rod, the guns are an afterthought and a prop in this movie, so fuck em. Coulda tried but didn't.
 
I never played Borderlands and its lolsorandom quirky Internet humor but I did play Tales from the Borderland and I really liked it.
 
Let me go how badly this movie messed up the characters from the trailer alone.

Roland is suppose to be this usually quiet stoic nonsense man with a good heart (he turned mercenary because his superior ordered him to execute civilians and he shot him instead and then went on to organize Pandora together so they could stand some sort of chance against Hyperion's forces, when he really didnt have to do any of that). You can imagine he was the glue that kept the first four vault hunters a proper team during B1

He doesnt act like a stereotypical funny black guy so this is going as far as you can from what his character is

Tannis is suppose to be this genius but very socially awkward autistc scientist who demonstrated sociopathy signs in B1 (tho B2 onwards had her just being more funny awkward instead). She is a supportive character who only served to be a quest giver and usually move the plot along when it came to things related to the Vaults. The closest she came to be active in the plot was B3 through a very confusing and dumb twist and even then she remained in the sidelines.

So now suddenly she is an active member played by a granny when Tannis usually looked to be in her late 20 early 30's at most? Christ...

Tiny Tina is another supportive character who never got directly involved in the action. And her crazy nature was a result of trauma caused by her parents being sold out by a friend and experimented on by Hyperion. She was also implied to have developed this father-daughter like relationship with Roland before B2, with him saying he saved her many times and she did the same for him (something I wish got expanded upon instead of being mostly off screen). They literally had an entire DLC about her deep down learning to accept his death. She is a simple but engaging character.

Now she acts like a bratty teenager who just likes to blow things up apparently because "quirky".

Krieg is a B2 vault hunter who used to be a mercenary with moral standards who got experimented so badly by Hyperion his mind shattered into two, one his sane self and one being a psycho version of himself that can only communicate by shouting usually nonsense (tho there is meaning in what he says most times if you pay attention). It gives Krieg a tragic Bruce/Hulk or Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde dynamic. Krieg struggled to be seen to the others as more than just an oversized psycho and to make matters worse, he fell in love with Maya, the siren V.H of 2 and he cant properly express his feelings to her. He is meant to look at first like a "haha psycho" character until you see all the depth and you end up not being able to help but feel really sorry and rooting for him.

Krieg in this doesnt seem as deformed and seems like they are going for a quiet psycho (which goes against what psychos are in Borderlands, they are usually shouting random shit while running towards you) and idk if we will have glimpses into his sane side. And having no Maya just removes another important aspect of his character. Just feels like they got the character in because he was memed on a lot.

Lillith is a siren that came to Pandora because of the supposed connection with the vaults and the mysterious sirens, of which exist only very few in the entire universe. She kind of start off as this power hungry character who becomes nicer in 2 (tho she still kind digs people worshipping her as the Firehawk, tho she drew the line at human sacrifices). She isnt a complex character but likable enough.

She seems ok-ish in the trailer, I guess it was difficult to get her character wrong but her actress seems too old to play a chick in her late 20's at most.

Claptrap is a supportive character in nearly every game in the series and the usual "joke" about him is that he is kind of dumb and annoying. They were wise to keep interactions with him sparce enough so it doesnt get old and they do show he has complexity that shows how lonely he feels and how he wished people gave him a chance.

He isnt meant to be in the front lines and clearly they are ready to milk the shit out him. Also Jack Black is doing his best I guess but he just wasnt a good casting.
 
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