Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

Nikki should stay married and keep Bam from changing any life insurance beneficiaries. I think she can wait it out. If he doesn't OD, I'm sure he's got a heart attack coming down the line.
I think this latest development will come as bad news to everyone who has been crossing their fingers that this is the rehab trip that makes it all better.

Sure she didn’t file for divorce but you don’t ask the court for full custody when your husband is fresh off a successful stay in rehab and has a new lease on life.
 
“I make money off being an asshole.”

And your former friends make more because they have their shit together.
I can't remember who it was, it was some jackass (lower case, as in not one of the guys from the show) or another around 2014-2016, those years blur together for me, that said something to the effect of "You know I made my fortune being the shittiest man I could be. I tripled it by growing up, and I still have it because I figure out my shit." A lot of Bam's old buddies are like that, they were shitty people for money, they grew up and found ways to get even more money, and they got their shit together so they could keep enjoying the good life. Bam never grew up, and now we see how that made him suffer.

Phil, April, they weren't perfect parents, but I think they would rather a nice son than any of the wealth or fame that came out of this. Also Bam throwing their mistakes at their faces and blaming his parents like that, that was fucking low. Phil saw a chance to do what every father wants to do, see their son find success in what they love, to be successful while fulfilling their dreams. He allowed and encouraged his son to take the shot, in hopes his son would have all the success in the world. Instead, well he regrets it all. That has to hurt, even if Phil was a shit human being, I still couldn't fault him for wanting to see his son live his dreams. It's what a parent who loves their child does. Bam won't ever understand that, Bam is a shithead. It ain't for Bam's sake I hope he gets his shit together, it is so Phil and April can get to see their son not be an asshole.
 

I wonder how much Steve-O pisses Bam off. Like, how does Steve-O still get invited to Skate Park parties, onstage performances and going all over the country, and all without liquor or drugs.

What’s even crazier is Steve-O still gets to do all this in his 40s
 

I wonder how much Steve-O pisses Bam off. Like, how does Steve-O still get invited to Skate Park parties, onstage performances and going all over the country, and all without liquor or drugs.

What’s even crazier is Steve-O still gets to do all this in his 40s
The thing Bam will never understand is the fact that Steve-O not being pumped full of drugs and shit is exactly why people are willing to be around him, why his head is clear enough to still do this shit in his 40s, and why he isn't avoided, but instead invited around. He doesn't need to be drunk or high to be fun, he just is a cool and fun guy to be with, your biggest concern when he is around is what crazy ass shit he's going to talk you into doing, not if he's going to make an ass of himself, you, and everyone else. He has a reputation for crazy stunts and doing insanely dumb shit without giving a fuck that makes him someone you want around, and he's got stories to tell. Bam is a burned out 90s and 00s rock star too high and drunk to tell a cool story, a colossal dickhead, and has nothing to offer these guys anymore, since they don't need his money, booze or drugs.
 
The thing Bam will never understand is the fact that Steve-O not being pumped full of drugs and shit is exactly why people are willing to be around him, why his head is clear enough to still do this shit in his 40s, and why he isn't avoided, but instead invited around. He doesn't need to be drunk or high to be fun, he just is a cool and fun guy to be with, your biggest concern when he is around is what crazy ass shit he's going to talk you into doing, not if he's going to make an ass of himself, you, and everyone else. He has a reputation for crazy stunts and doing insanely dumb shit without giving a fuck that makes him someone you want around, and he's got stories to tell. Bam is a burned out 90s and 00s rock star too high and drunk to tell a cool story, a colossal dickhead, and has nothing to offer these guys anymore, since they don't need his money, booze or drugs.
Modern Steve-O's stunts only ever impact himself, and people who consent to it while being put together and professional when not doing them. Druggie Steve-O and Bam impact innocents who don't deserve to be fucked with and the insanity never turns off. That's the core in my opinion, since Steve-O is still doing wildly self destructive (yet hilarious) stunts.
 
Phoenix Wolf is the dumbest fucking name, holy shit.
Yup, but what else did you expect from Bam and stripper groupie wife?

I think this latest development will come as bad news to everyone who has been crossing their fingers that this is the rehab trip that makes it all better.

Sure she didn’t file for divorce but you don’t ask the court for full custody when your husband is fresh off a successful stay in rehab and has a new lease on life.
Did any one actually think rehab trip number eight or twelve was going to be the magic one for Bam? Forced rehab is a scam and it’s only benefit is getting the addict off the streets or out of the house for a few weeks.

I think adderall and coke abuse has permanently short circuited Bam’s brain anyway.
 
Modern Steve-O's stunts only ever impact himself, and people who consent to it while being put together and professional when not doing them. Druggie Steve-O and Bam impact innocents who don't deserve to be fucked with and the insanity never turns off. That's the core in my opinion, since Steve-O is still doing wildly self destructive (yet hilarious) stunts.
Not only that, but Bam stunts are slap dashed and stupid. Steve-O knows what he's doing, he's way safer about it than it looks on the surface. Anytime he pulls back the curtain a bit you see glimpses of safety precautions. He's minimized the danger and the self destructiveness best he can. Bam doesn't even try, and it hurts everyone around him.

The biggest danger to hanging out with Steve-O now days is he'll convince you to chug a bottle of hot sauce through your asshole before smearing your dick and ballsack with pepper spray, while chugging vinegar. He won't do anything to you, but damn will you regret whatever dumb shit he talks you into doing. It'll be a crazy, funny, stupid story for later and you'll be wondering if you still want to be friends with him or not, but it'll be something you consented to.

Bam would just knock you over, rip your pants off, shove the bottle in your ass while holding you upside down, pepper spray your crotch, taze your nipples for no reason, and then pour the vinegar on your face, laugh at you and expect money for it thinking he's the coolest guy in the room.
 
Not only that, but Bam stunts are slap dashed and stupid. Steve-O knows what he's doing, he's way safer about it than it looks on the surface. Anytime he pulls back the curtain a bit you see glimpses of safety precautions. He's minimized the danger and the self destructiveness best he can. Bam doesn't even try, and it hurts everyone around him.

The biggest danger to hanging out with Steve-O now days is he'll convince you to chug a bottle of hot sauce through your asshole before smearing your dick and ballsack with pepper spray, while chugging vinegar. He won't do anything to you, but damn will you regret whatever dumb shit he talks you into doing. It'll be a crazy, funny, stupid story for later and you'll be wondering if you still want to be friends with him or not, but it'll be something you consented to.

Bam would just knock you over, rip your pants off, shove the bottle in your ass while holding you upside down, pepper spray your crotch, taze your nipples for no reason, and then pour the vinegar on your face, laugh at you and expect money for it thinking he's the coolest guy in the room.

I’ll take my TMI’s but I’ve tried Steve-O’s “Hot Sauce For Your Butthole”.
The flavor is delicious imo and I do like spicy, but it’s absolutely the type of spicy you would expect Steve-O to make.
It’s a dab not a drizzle for me.
 
I think adderall and coke abuse has permanently short circuited Bam’s brain anyway.
in my opinion this is the real problem and why Bam will probably never sober up. uncontrolled bipolar plus heavy stimulant/alcohol abuse means his brain is pretty crispy in his skull.

when druggies hit the point of "fried", they're doomed. if it's one psychotic episode or breakdown, they still have a chance (see: Steve-O) but Bam has been fucked up for years now. he's well beyond the point of no return. even if he magically lost access to all drugs he'd still have major issues functioning because his brain is fucked on a fundamental level that no amount of rehab can fix.
 
I used to think this man was the shit because of his “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want” confidence and I looked up to him in the sense that I admired the career he built + overall his material kept me entertained. Now I could care less if his impending divorce made him stick a gun barrel in his mouth and pull the trigger. Guy honestly should have quit when he was on top with Missy and faded off into the sunset for all eternity. Fuck ‘em.
 
I used to think this man was the shit because of his “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want” confidence and I looked up to him in the sense that I admired the career he built + overall his material kept me entertained. Now I could care less if his impending divorce made him stick a gun barrel in his mouth and pull the trigger. Guy honestly should have quit when he was on top with Missy and faded off into the sunset for all eternity. Fuck ‘em.
Dude has had so many opportunities to just buy beach property or a scary castle in Transylvania, sit his fat faggot ass in the sand and build a sand castle with his kid who had the unfortunate luck of being named after a fursona, and if he absolutely insists on self destructing, he can do all the drugs he wants to without a pack of clout chasing Kyles snitching on social media for clout.

Does anyone remember when Eminem disappeared for what felt like a goddamn decade before he made his “Old Man Yells at Cloud” comeback a few years ago with a new plastic face? And in the meantime, everyone covered for him in interviews with shit like “he’s just kicking it in his home studio trying to write his next masterpiece, he’s holding it down raising his daughter, he just has a lot going on, etc”?

It eventually came out that he was deep, deep, deep, into addiction to the point that he became a hermit for years because Eminem - the fucking guy who had beef with ICP because he wanted to be down with them and they flat out said he was wack and the same guy from a trailer park who married and had a kid with a girl who was a runaway from a extremely dysfunctional home until Eminem’s mom took her in and raised her as his sister - was smart enough to not implode on an international scale.

I forget where I’m going with this but something something something Bam Margera is more retarded than moms spaghetti
 
Dude has had so many opportunities to just buy beach property or a scary castle in Transylvania, sit his fat faggot ass in the sand and build a sand castle with his kid who had the unfortunate luck of being named after a fursona, and if he absolutely insists on self destructing, he can do all the drugs he wants to without a pack of clout chasing Kyles snitching on social media for clout.

Does anyone remember when Eminem disappeared for what felt like a goddamn decade before he made his “Old Man Yells at Cloud” comeback a few years ago with a new plastic face? And in the meantime, everyone covered for him in interviews with shit like “he’s just kicking it in his home studio trying to write his next masterpiece, he’s holding it down raising his daughter, he just has a lot going on, etc”?

It eventually came out that he was deep, deep, deep, into addiction to the point that he became a hermit for years because Eminem - the fucking guy who had beef with ICP because he wanted to be down with them and they flat out said he was wack and the same guy from a trailer park who married and had a kid with a girl who was a runaway from a extremely dysfunctional home until Eminem’s mom took her in and raised her as his sister - was smart enough to not implode on an international scale.

I forget where I’m going with this but something something something Bam Margera is more retarded than moms spaghetti

Eminem is not a galaxy brain but at least he had the sense (or handlers) to have a breakdown in private instead of going the Bam or Kanye route.
 
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